Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry A year on update!   

    Sounds great, Faith! Don't be such a stranger; we'd love to hear more from you.
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  2. GenderFiasco added a blog entry in NotReallySure   

    A year on update!
    Hello! It has been almost exactly a year since I last posted. Partly because I've been busy and partly because I couldn't find the site because I forgot what it was called! I have a lot of updates, this is almost an origin story so get comfy ;)
    So, in May/ June i decided that I was done with moping around being a miserable git and feeling sorry for myself, it was time for change. I started to compile a letter to my family and friends the tell them about the new me. The first draft was about 3000 words and didn't read very well but with a little tweaking I got the count down and it was ready. I sent one to my mum, sister, best friend and I hand delivered the one to my girlfriend because she lived in my city. I know there would be a mixed bag of reactions but the one coming first would be from my girlfriend because she didn't have to suffer the Royal Mail. I was absolutely terrified! I had the letters teetering in the post box, only half in because once there in thats it! No take backsies.
    Ill be more than happy to share the letter with you all if you would like, just let me know in the comments. I know it would probably have been better to say it all face to face but it was logistically not possible and I can't speak what I want it comes out as jibberish when I'm nervous.
    So later that evening I received a text from my girlfriend to ask me to come over. I gave her an out in the letter and said that I would understand if she didn't want to be with me because of it, its only fair. As soon as she opened the door she burst into tears and I almost broke down myself. She wasn't crying because she was breaking up with me, she was crying at the idea of not being with me. It was all very emotional and we talked for hours about the future and what's going to happen next.
    The next day I got a call from my sister crying, but it was more of a happy cry. She was very supportive and continues to be so to this day. I also got a text from my mum telling me she got the letter. *Back story, both my mum and my sister skipped to the end of my letter because they thought it was a joke. Mum then called, crying, and in the outset she seemed supportive. I went to go see her and she back tracked a lot, she didn't get it which is understandable and she didn't necessarily agree with it. The trip made me very sad and I cried a lot in bed that night. She has since become the amazing mum she had been for many years before.
    That was all in the space of a week in June, there was a lot of emotion flying around.
    Fast forward a month and my city's annual LGBT festival was happening. Oh wait I missed a bit, my girlfriend decided to stay with me because she is amazing! Honestly I wouldn't be the person I am today without her help and support. I am merely pieces of a person but she is my glue, keeping me together. So yeah LGBT festival, I wanted to go out as a woman for the first time. I figured that if I don't look perfect then that would be okay because everyone's dressed up and heading to the gay bar! I picked out an outfit, which was approved by my gf ;) and we headed out with our friend. It was the happiest moment in my life that I can remember for a long long time. Being out, being dressed up, it was exhilarating! I once went to a fancy dress party as a girl when I was 16, no one cottoned on to what I was doing which was fantastic and sad at the same time. So that was pride!
    Not much happened in the months following, I started epilating (ow) and practicing with make up. Then when Halloween rolled around I took another chance to go out as Faith. Oh yes, my new name is Faith :) Halloween is a wonder out time where people can be anyone they want, so I did. We had a party and then hit the town. I was having a great old time and even bumped into a few people from uni who didn't recognise me which felt great! Of course my friend rumbled me by calling me by my old name but hey, who cares! I also went out New Years and unfortunately got entangled in a conversation with some random people which was tough because I don't have a woman's voice as of yet but they seemed nice and didn't point it out.
    I have taken some big steps to becoming Faith, I have changed my name, I have been put on the GIC waiting list (2 years) and I have planned me entire look as cheaply as possible. While I have taken these big steps, it doesn't feel like enough, I still feel the same. I felt great, I told everyone and everything was going to change and it was going to be great. Nothing changed, that is indeed the issue, every time I see a woman I get a pang of jealousy and then struck with sadness. I don't want to die, but it's getting harder to live like this, I haven't told anyone this because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and baby me. Its just hard, I know I'm not alone it's hard for all of us at times, just seems like all the time at the moment.
    So that is me fully updated! Thanks for reading if you made it this far ;) look forward to coming back to the blog and talking to some people! 
    Lots of Love
    Faith
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  3. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry Is There A Place For Short-Term Relationships?   

    Finally I have some time to respond.  I really do believe in the friendship and companionship aspect of life.  This means a kiss and hug, a laugh together, some shared memories.  A true friend is forever - my wife - and I have been together for 40 years and we are firstly just friends.  I have almost 100 other friends I have strong ties to.  I kind of collect my friendships.  Some know of my transgender leanings others do not.
    About shorter relationships these all need to be friendships to succeed. The first aspect of being a friend is acceptance and realistic expectations.  One does not try to make a friend someone they are not.  If you have quirkiness that is you, who you are, this is usually the last thing a friend considerers - this may be something you joke about and actually could draw you closer, as all of us who are real have our quirks.  I hope this helps.  I know you through your writings to be a wonderful person well deserving of many good comments and relationships.  Best to you.    Dawn 
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  4. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic Transgender Christians   

    Here's an interesting addition to this thread: an article in Good Housekeeping no less!
    I Had 4 Boys — Until One of Them Told Me She Was Really a Girl
    "As early as 18 months old, Kimberly Shappley's son started showing signs he identified as female. Now, the Christian mom shares how she learned to embrace Kai's transition — for her child's happiness and safety."
    In fact, after reading that article I found almost 10 more there. Simply amazing. 
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  5. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic Transgender Christians   

    I hope their main interest is letting those who wish to be a part of some Christian group, that they are welcome, no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation.
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  6. Steph53 added a comment on a blog entry One Door Closes, Another Door Opens   

    Hiya Emma. I Am Here, My Darling, To Wish You Bon Voyage. It Is a Long Time, since I was on here, but, that Will Not be the case any more. Emma, I Am So Sorry, to hear about Your Divorce Honey. Emma, Your Marriage, is Not the Only One, whose Marriage has died. I Am Now Officially Separated. Also, I have been Fully; Full-Time; MtoF; Transitioning; for just 12 Day's Short of 2 Year's Now. I have Officially; Legally; Changed My Name, to Stephanie, in the Last 4 Month's. Emma, I Know, that You ARE travelling, all round the Country, with Winnie Minnie. Enjoy the Journey's. Emma Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Big Hugs, With Lots Of Love, Stephanie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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  7. Steph53 added a comment on a blog entry Post Operation Thrills   

    Hiya Michele. How Are You Darling Girl ? Okay Honey, I Hope !  Michele, Congratulations, on Your Orchiectomy Darling. I hope that You are healing up Okay, Sweetheart. Michele, I Am Very Proud of You Young Lady. I have told You before, and I Will tell You Again, that You ARE a Very Pretty; Beautiful; Gorgeous; Young Lady ! Michele, I Really hope that Life is Good for You Babes. Look After Yourself Sweetheart, and I hope to hear from You soon Love. Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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  8. LovelyLisa added a comment on a blog entry One Door Closes, Another Door Opens   

    Emma, I have not logged in for awhile until today and was surprised by your post. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Yet at the same the love that you and wife showed each other is unparalleled. Just amazing!
    Be safe and well on your new journey. I am happy for you!
    <3
    Lisa
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  9. LaDavinita added a post in a topic Xtall women's clothing   

    Shewear,
      I'm very happy for you!  Thanks for sharing your positive feedback.  You and I appear to be of almost identical build and proportions.  I'm also 6'2" and my chest measures 34" (without my breast forms).  I also have the long, gangling arms which definitely precludes many options for ladies fashion.  I've often considered attempting to find a nice, discreet alterations shop that can add material to a garment to provide more sleeve length, but this seems like an expensive, difficult undertaking.
      Davi
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  10. Shewear added a post in a topic Xtall women's clothing   

    Hi Davi,
    i bought my PB garments from amazon.co.uk. I got them sent to a pick-up location (a local convenience store) and I luckily chose good sizes.
    im a skinny 6'2" with 36" chest and really long arms - I struggle to find womens clothes with suitable arm length - but PB are perfect.
    Give them a try.
    Jk.x
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  11. KarenPayne added a post in a topic cis women support for CDs   

    When I told my best female friend I was transitioning she hugged me and then said "we need to go shopping". So I never asked anyone, they told me. Besides shopping we also did makeup sessions at Macy's.
    The only suggestion for doing this is to work (if needed) on the female voice.
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  12. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic Transgender Christians   

    I hadn't thought of that and I see your point. Perhaps what they are referring to is at least in part their practice of trying to convert ("save" in their language) others to Christianity. I also don't agree with that. However in this case they are trying - I believe - to redeem their own religious culture to understand, accept, and validate diversity. Nothing wrong with that.
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  13. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry One Door Closes, Another Door Opens   

    Emma,
    I wish you all the happiness you can find on this journey! It's not an easy path, but it's well worth it and it seems like you've really thought through a lot and have a good vision of how to get started. Between that and the courage you've already demonstrated I have no doubt you'll find your authentic self.
    I also admire how you managed things with your wife. It was no doubt tempting at times just to leave (I say that from experience, having been married so many years ago), but you stayed and took care of what needed to be done. So add persistence to the strengths mentioned above :-)
    I'm looking forward to hearing about your travels - literal and personal :-)
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  14. Briannah added a post in a topic What's your perfume   

    Ya'll can laugh at me if you want, I wear old lady perfume ! Meusli (it smells just like lily of the valley, YUM, which I have been assured since I was 19 and found it is an 'old lady' perfume, which changed my love of it not one iota, this whole age determining everything bothers me) .  And anything White Ginger, if it's done well, There are some cheap white ginger knockoffs that are hideous.
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  15. Briannah added a post in a topic Transgender Christians   

    I have to admit, I find the idea that other cultures need redeeming to be absolutely horrifying.  I'm glad to see him trying to increase communication, but...the rest of that sentence really scares me.  No one culture is better or worse than an another.  All have flaws and strengths, and this comes across as just another variant of the 'outsider savior' complex that has done so very much damage throughout history.
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  16. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry One Door Closes, Another Door Opens   

    Enjoy the grand adventure!  I envy you that freedom to go wherever and do whatever!  It sounds like a great grand adventure!  If you ever make it around Ohio be sure to stop by and have dinner with us!    ​ I'm glad that the worst is behind you and you have found peace with the changes in your life, and then excitement about what is to come next!  *Hugs*  May the road ahead bring you joy, laughter, and adventure!  Beautiful photo in which you look ready to tackle the world! 
    And I really really envy you the Minnie!  Grandpa had a Minnie Winnie after he sold the pull behind Airstream, we had so much fun in that. : )  Mostly at Assateague Island and Indian Lake, but the where mattered less than the adventure.    ​I miss that rv and all the silly fun we had in it. 
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  17. EmmaSweet added a blog entry in Emma Sweet's Blog   

    One Door Closes, Another Door Opens
    Today is – quite literally – the first full day of the rest of my life. Yesterday (on Easter Sunday) I left my wife (now, ex, which is hard to fathom), home (now hers), friends, and family, to venture out on a Hero’s Journey (if I do say so myself) to see what I find in my gender, life, and home. I woke this morning in my Minnie Winnie near Healdsburg, California at a KOA campground, figured out how to hook up the water and sewage to the coach, and cooked eggs and coffee for breakfast. 
    The last couple of months have been very challenging and exhausting for both my wife and myself. I returned from my camping trip in early February to find that my wife had decided that we should divorce. She said that the reason is that while we are together it will be unforgivably impossible for me to truly discover and be myself, whether I need to transition, live publicly as a woman, or whatever. That, and for reasons she doesn’t understand herself (and feels guilty about) there is something about my being transgender that she finds very hard to accept.  
    At first there was some anger and hurt feelings between us. She asked when I might leave (the earlier the better), we both worried about how we would settle our affairs, and I could not wait to simply drive away and move on. We found a divorce mediator, I created a spreadsheet that helped us try out different asset division models, we started to trust each other, and finally came to an agreement. She got a bit more than I did but that's the way it needed to be for her to keep the house. But I got my freedom in an enviable way that I have often dreamed of my entire life.  
    Once that was worked out the rest of our time was mostly spend packing and provisioning my Winnie, unwinding our family finances, pushing through the myriad forms needed to file for divorce. We worked hand in hand still wearing our wedding rings. Our mediator and attorneys were amazed that a couple as caring of each other as us would even consider getting divorced. I’m deeply saddened now as I write this. I know she is too; we talked last night on the phone for 45 minutes.
    When I arrived at the campground yesterday I unpacked my Emma clothes into my closet and drawers; they’d been in boxes that my wife really prefers not to open. And now I consider what I want to do in the coming months.
    My plan is to head slowly north, through Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, to Alaska, for the summer, and then return south in time to miss the winter snow and rain, through Iowa (or Idaho, not sure), Utah, and Colorado. In each location I want to see what feels right and wrong about the place, and experience what’s available for trans people like me. For example, in Portland (Tigard, actually) and Seattle, are what I call “training wheel” services that provide help with dressing, make-up, and the rest, and opportunities to get out and feel what it’s like to be as female as I can be. I hope that through that and more I’ll learn more about where under the TG umbrella I’d like to be. 
    But it’s not all about being transgender. I have my acoustic guitar, camera, bicycle, books, hiking boots, and paints. I want to exercise, eat well, and meditate on staying in the present, while pushing against my fears and boundaries that I have allowed to control me for the past six decades. 
    And who knows, I might meet the next love of my life. I’m not looking but I’m open to it so long as it doesn’t happen too soon. And, my ex and I plan to stay in touch, and she may visit me in Seattle, Alaska, or both. We might even decide to get back together if I truly find that I don’t need to transition and she becomes comfortable with my true self, whatever that is.  
    That’s about it for now. Stay tuned, there will be more!
    Love,
    Emma
     

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  18. EmmaSweet added a topic in Religion & The Transgender Community   

    Transgender Christians
    Last night I happened across several remarkable videos from an organization called "Qideas.org" which is described on their website as:
    Q was birthed out of Gabe Lyons’ vision to see Christians, especially leaders, recover a vision for their historic responsibility to renew and restore cultures. Inspired by Chuck Colson’s statement, “Christians are called to redeem entire cultures, not just individuals,” Gabe set out to reintroduce Christians to what had seemed missing in recent decades from an American expression of Christian faithfulness; valuing both personal and cultural renewal, not one over the other. Re-educating Christians to this orthodox and unifying concept has become central to the vision of Q.
    The videos (available here and on YouTube) were recorded at a TED-like seminar for Christian leadership, and made some very important points:
    The first one features Dr. Mark Yarhouse, who is a psychologist and holds an MA in Christianity. He very articulating explains the transgender umbrella, gender dysphoria, and especially, how people (particularly Christians) may view trans people through different "lenses" that, unless recognized and understood, make it difficult to communicate. I do take an issue with one statistic he mentioned, that 3/4 of gender variant children desist as they grow and become adults. That said, he recommended that parents and others treat them with a wait and see approach: don't try to force anything upon them.
    The second video features a gender fluid woman (Melinda Semlys) who describes her real-life experiences, how pregnancies affected her gender dysphoria, and now that she's past that (with seven children!) she's learned that her GD is real, and how she is living her life.
    The last video is a Q&A with Mark and Melinda answering audience questions. One that came up asked what the scripture teaches regarding crossdressing and/or transgender people. Here again, Mark knowledgeably challenges the "wisdom" of the religious right saying that although there are some Old Testament mentions, that they are far out of context and don't mean anything substantial or negative about transgender people. 
     
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  19. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry Not sure if I should be here anymore   

    Hi Jay,
    You raise a number of important points that I'd like to respond to.  First and most important, that you're being self-indulgent if you post on your blog here. I disagree completely. To me a main purpose of a blog is to provide a supportive and kind place to write about your life, and given what's going on in yours you have a lot to write about. Sure, sometimes you won't receive much feedback. Sometimes I'm more lazy than other times, that's for sure. But please rest assured that you're not being self-centered or indulgent by participating at TGG. I'd add to that that you are likely feeling at least some level of depression which is indicated to me by your self-deprecating way of writing this post. So you need us at least as much now as you did before. 
    Safety in posting: Yes, we're all a little paranoid about Trump et al, the CIA, NSA, and FBI. But frankly, we're not talking about anything seriously interesting to them. Given that there are 300+ million people in the US alone I highly doubt that anything here even appears on their radar screen. And if it did? I guess I'd love to have the opportunity to expose their activities, which I think would raise an ire among the public at a level to which we saw recently in the Survivor episode where the trans player was outed.
    Reduced number of people and posts here at TGG: I agree, it's disconcerting, and I don't know why. I miss the days when we had a variety of 15-20 people always coming and going. I've talked to Mike about it who reassured me that this is a pattern he's seen before and expects the traffic to pick up before we know it. In the meantime it's up to folks like us to keep the home fires burning.
    On testosterone (or not): sounds to me like you need a new GP, or maybe file a complaint somewhere? Or, what exactly are her concerns and reasons for dragging her feet? That's probably the best way to approach her, like a scientist. Given that you have the independent professional assessment that taking testosterone is the proper course of action for her, what's holding her back? It might come down to her own beliefs and trans phobias, who knows. But if it does then that's good to know sooner than later because in fact you'll need to find another GP.
    "I hope your journeys progress the way you want them to." In fact, yesterday I drove 100 miles north, away from my wife (now ex, which pains me to write), life, and friends, on a journey that has no definite schedule or end. I'm so fortunate and grateful to be able to do this, and am looking forward to what I will find. But I'm also anxious: do I really have this in me? I guess I do, and here's another reason for you to keep writing. When I joined TGG about 2 1/2 years ago I was terribly depressed, often thinking of suicide, and about a year ago making a serious attempt at it. Now I'm freer of my depression (knock on wood) than I have ever been in my life. Man, it took a lot to get here but TGGuide was a huge help to me, and I hope and predict it will be for you, too.
    Love,
    Emma
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  20. JayM added a blog entry in In and Out of Darkness   

    Not sure if I should be here anymore
    I have been quiet over the past few months. I have visited the site but have not written anything. Not commented on anything, not added an entry to the blog, etc. All I've done is read what others are writing about. I've noticed a few people sign off lately; saying goodbye; moving on. I've wondered about their reasons for leaving. I've also wondered what I'm doing here. 
    To be honest, one of the things that has bothered me is whether it's safe to post here. I've thought about the way the political landscape has changed in the USA and what that might mean for people who are based in the USA - and also what it might mean for people like me who are not based in the USA but whose words are, in all likelihood, being stored in a US data centre as I type. Am I being paranoid? Probably. Do I have cause to be paranoid? Not sure, yet. Probably not. But I am also wondering whether I have anything useful or interesting to say anymore.
    I could tell people about how I've visited the gender specialists three times since i last added an entry to this blog, and how I have another two appointments lined up - one later this week and one next month. I could talk about the fact that my GP still isn't prescribing my testosterone and I'm still getting it via a private prescription, and that my GP has received written instructions from the gender specialists about what to prescribe and how to monitor my blood, but that she still doesn't seem inclined to do it. I could talk about my relationship with my husband, or my brother, or how things are going at work, or how one phone call from me to the psychologist at the gender clinic is all it would take to set up a referral to a surgeon for top surgery. 
    But I don't really want to. I've realised that I'm being self-indulgent on here. I've recently read through some of my previous posts and it seems to me that I've felt sorry for myself quite a lot and I don't want to do that anymore.
    Everyone has problems. Everyone has things they need to work out or work through. I have it quite easy, really. I have a good life and I have family and friends who care about me and respect me. When I come here I seem to forget that and I only dwell on the negatives. I've used this site to moan and complain when, really, I have nothing to moan or complain about. 
    I wish everyone well. I hope you all get what you want out of life and I hope your journeys progress the way you want them to. I hope the destination is as wonderful as you envisage it to be. 
    Peace and long life.

     
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  21. LaDavinita added a post in a topic What's your perfume   

    I really enjoy Marc Jacob's, "Daisy".  It has a light, sweet, floral scent that is not too overpowering.
    Likewise, I find J'adore to be quite fun.
    However, despite my affinity for these two fragrances, I must admit that my all-time, favorite perfume is White Diamonds...I know, I know, some people consider it old and out-dated, or even "old lady" perfume, but despite these nay-sayers' criticism of Elizabeth Taylor's signature fragrance, I find it absolutely divine.  Nothing makes me feel sexier quite as well.
     
      Davi
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  22. LaDavinita added a topic in Cosmetics & Makeup Help   

    Finger and toe beautification.
    Hi ladies,
      Just curious if anyone has some insight on how I might enhance the appearance of my feet (toes) and hands (fingers).  I'm mostly interested in options that allow for temporary nails to be affixed for painting to adorn my appendages.
      Moreover, if anyone has any tips on how to make manly feet and hands softer, smoother, and generally more feminine, I'd love to hear about it.
      Davi
     
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  23. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Having a good day.
    Just spent the last hour having my hair painted with my favorite green dye to repair the damage from the sun, spa, chlorine pool, hot tubs, therapy tub, and sea on vacation.  There was a girl with pink hair tipped in purple and me with my green, and by the end of the week she was completely blond again and I was almost there, with just the front part clinging to the green.  Looked like deliberately done modern streaking through, so I was somewhat happy with that.  It's really relaxing to sit around having someone painting on your hair, to be honest.  Nikki wanted to try the brush technique instead of bottle and massage since that kind didn't go so well, although it did dye my computer room a lovely matching shade to my hair.  LOL  As expected from someone with painting experience, this went beautifully for both painter and paintee.   And as it's drying it's coming out really well, I'm thrilled. 
    The day is lovely too, it's a clear lovely day after a morning storm and around 83 degrees.  YAY SPRING!  Please stay spring, I'll be REALLY nice to you.  Totally.  I'm done with your sibling winter.  Nikki's cold/flu thing continues, but he's in much better spirits with the better weather.  Still only have a surprisingly light case of it myself, this is weird.  Usually I fall pretty to germs and he doesn't.  Once a few years ago a bug ripped through town, but targeted people with generally strong immune systems like Nikki and my bff but left those with weaker ones like me alone.  It was weird, and this seems to be acting like that. 
    Now I plan to spend the evening enjoying the scent of the Argan oil in my hiar (the dye uses it, smells really good) and killing things in my favorite mmo.  Bring on the cyberenemies! 
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  24. LaDavinita added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    cis women support for CDs
    Hello all,
      In my on-going efforts to enhance my femininity, I've enlisted the help of a straight, biological, cis woman.  I turned to Craigslist to "hire" someone willing to help me better understand makeup and women's fashion.  After several false starts and sifting through several frauds, fakes, and phonies, I've finally met with a lady who is very interested in my transformation process and is sympathetic to the difficulties I've faced.  Her name is Lisa.
      Lisa is a 50 y/o married lady who has experience in helping her friends get ready for social events such as weddings, photo shoots, etc.  Although she is ten years my senior, I actually find this to be an advantage, because she can help me select clothing and jewelry that is more age appropriate.
      I am very eager to go shopping with Lisa, because of her age, as well as the fact that she is a nice looking woman, I think it will help serve as "social camouflage" for me while she helps me sort through women's clothing at the local mall.  Plus, just having someone who can offer a sincere, unbiased opinion on what looks good and doesn't should help temper my male-biased sense of ladies fashion choices...
      Has anyone else, here, ever enlisted the help of sympathetic cis women to assist in their transformation?  Any tips or advice?
      Davi
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  25. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry long time...   

    The stirrups are awful, and exceedingly akward physically in my opinion, it just feels like physical about to fall while all the bits are exposed to the world.  Meh.  And I have to be so careful just getting in them, I nearly fell off the table last time.  Cuz you know, that was a great moment for my inherent clumsy to rear it's head and not embarrassing at all.  LOL  And all I can say is plastic speculums beat metal, they're not icicle-like.
    I'm so glad you are all healed up without crazy complications!  So many scary stories about bacteria these days!  Here's to a long and healthy new life! 
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