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Activity Stream

  1. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    Guess who showed up.
    Hello again. 
    Well, I had a couple of great days. I went to the laser appointment on Monday and it went well. She charged me $125 and will remove all the hair that laser couldn’t get with electrolysis for $35. That includes the back and face and I will probably have the chest/abdomen done as well(for an added cost). As for the pain....ouch! especially the upper lip & chin. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but I had to take a break every couple of minutes. They don’t use any numbing cream for insurance purposes so that stinks but at least they have the cooling spray. She did say that this was the worst it will get because the the thick course hair is now gone. I guess the face is the most painful. My skin was a little red and sensitive for about 3 hours but not to bad. The hair should start to fall out over the next 2 weeks and then back for more in 5 weeks. It will be interesting to see the difference between laser and electrolysis. The whole process made me feel like I was moving forward with my transition. One more step. One more day. I am still trying to slow myself down a bit but everything keeps falling into place very comfortably so I’m not going to fight it. I felt so good and girly about the prospects of not have a beard that I stopped off at Walgreens. I picked up some makeup, nail polish, deodorant and other things because I was feeling so good. I’m not really nervous about shopping for “girl stuff “ anymore. I got home took a shower and shaved with the intention of getting some work done before lunch but that didn’t happen. After shaving I started to clean my face and then put on moisturizers which made my skin feel really nice. Then I decided to pluck a few eyebrow hairs but that just led to full makeup. Light, but it was the most makeup I have put on in many many years. I loved it, and my eyes got bigger and brighter...I was feeling great. I decided that I was going to keep the makeup on while I did some work. Boy clothes weren’t going to satisfy the girl looking back at me in the mirror, she was pushing forward. So, I put on a pair of my wife’s jeans (fit pretty good), a nice stretchy top that fit perfectly (careful not to get makeup on it, lessen learned) and a cute pair of sandals. I then painted my nails a very light pink. I just couldn’t stop myself. It also taught me that I need more practice. Anyway, I was feeling very happy in a kind of content way but I felt like I wanted something more. Earrings! As I walked into the bathroom looking for that little extra something I glanced at myself in the mirror....I stopped. Turning to the side I sucked in my tummy and arched my back just a bit. With my left hand on my tummy and my right hand on my bum I looked into the mirror. Without meaning too I said out loud in a soft feminine voice “holy crap”. My eyes started to swell up with tears and my knees buckled slightly. As I stood back up into the same pose I said out loud “holy s... I love this....I love you”. I looked better than I expected (HRT must be working) and for the first time ever in my life, I was looking at the real me. I am sure many of you have had this experience yourselves but it’s hard for me to describe the feeling. My bum is fuller and a little jiggly, my breast’s were really visible in the colorful top and my skin looked so soft. My eyes were really bright and at that moment I knew that there was no turning back, I can’t. Not after feeling and seeing my true self. I have been saying to myself that if it becomes to much or to scary that I could stop. Just push it back down like I have in the past. Many times. I’ve done it before so I can do it again kind of thing. This is different. Stronger. Deeper. She finally showed up and I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I stayed as myself for the rest of the day choosing to work from home. No one else was home so I was free to do all the normal things around the house that I would do on any other day. I was even going to take a drive around town but the day flew by and I ran out of time. I slept realllllllllly well last night. In the morning I took care of the kids and some appointments for work. Then I went to Chico’s near my home and bought a pair of jeans and a nice top of my own then I went to see my therapist. I now have my very first outfit. Casual which I think reflects my personality. My therapist and I are working on what I need to do and how I am going to come out. I need to plan for the future. At times this freaks me out and then other times I am ok with whatever happens. We did some role play in therapy which really helped me. I will be taking care of my kids and then myself tonight (I have been doing a facial regime every night) and tomorrow I will be dressed as myself again. The crazy thing is now the roles I’ve been playing (so to speak) have flipped. When I dress as a man now I truly feel like a phony. Don’t get me wrong some of the boy clothes are comfy and nice but it has changed. It doesn’t feel normal anymore and even though I understand it intellectually I’m still a bit confused by the quick shift. I went back and read all my posts searching for some clarity and was amazed again at how far I have come in 47 days. Just astonishing to me. I just kept taking the next step, walking through my fears. Next as far as body changes go I will be looking into ffs and voice. I wouldn’t be where I’m at without the help, guidance, support and compassion you all have shown me. From my heart ❤️ thank you. 
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  2. ZoeyM added a post in a topic A huge blessing in my life   

    It was and she loved it right away.Barbara knows I love skirts and dresses including me being a shoeaholic.
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  3. Emma added a post in a topic A huge blessing in my life   

    Wow, Zoey, that’s so sweet to hear. So rare too.
    For me your story underscores my belief that we meet our loves when we’re not looking, when we least expect it. A challenge is that we must count on and be out there for chance encounters. 
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  4. ZoeyM added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    A huge blessing in my life
    I have a huge blessing in my life,my wife Barbara.Been together for 13 years and married for 10 years.Before I met her,had so many mean and cruel SOs in my life.Would taunt me and broke up with them.Then things changed 13 years ago when I met Barbara,was in the women's restroom touching up my make up and she was beside me.I thought she was going to freak out at first and did not.She looked at me saying I looked beautiful and told her thank you.Exchanged phone numbers and that is when we started dating.She thought it was very horrible what my ex SOs did to me.Barbara said she loves me dressed as a woman more right away and that is when I knew that I met the right woman in my life.Learning about her,she has always loved feminine men that love to dress as women and this brought us together more.It has been a great win/win for both of us,I have a supportive SO and she got her dream feminine husband.We go shopping together knowing what I love including getting our nails and hair done.Barbara does call me Zoey most of the time.So far Barbara and I seen as a normal couple most of the time.If I have never met Barbara,my life would be miserable.
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  5. cross2play added a post in a topic Transgender deaths so far in Subcontinent Pakistan since 1st January '18   

    Thanks Lori I am aware of rules to laws coming into effect over there, since 2013, many new pro favour transgender laws have sprung into society. That said it's the remote, villages, far to reach towns, isolated incidents involving these deaths, the major cities don't have this problem.  But hearing about an advocate of transgender person along with her friends being gunned down, is hard to believe. I mean what's next for transgender women in Pakistan, to carry a loaded ak-47 or 9mm in self defense along with hand purse,wtf!
    I certainly hope someone will improve the rights of vulnerable person over there.
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  6. Lori added a post in a topic Transgender deaths so far in Subcontinent Pakistan since 1st January '18   

    Our sister site Transgender News Channel has been covering stories of transgender news in the Middle East. Transgender people have a very difficult life in some countries. There are some small signs of progress and acceptance. For example;
    ISLAMABAD: Senate Standing Committee on Human Rights on Saturday approved the draft on rights of transgender persons that would soon be tabled at National Assembly to become a law.  Read More 
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  7. cross2play added a topic in Transgender Crime   

    Transgender deaths so far in Subcontinent Pakistan since 1st January '18
    Well to my astonishing surprised learning fact of glancing at country Pakistan and the weekly news updates of targeted killing, rapes, or kidnapping.  This news doesn't sound that bad because it will not relevant for me.  If you're a bed room transgender, or North American transgender, or just forum viewing, you have to appreciate cross dressing, is not at all easy in international globe. I sincerely wish these deaths didn't occur, as my brothers or sister's, but I feel so helpless in defence of their assistance. Many have been killed and we aren't even in March of 2018?
    3 transgender shot injured

    Transgender person assaulted by 3 men

    Transgender kidnapped, gang-raped in Peshawar
    Watch my YouTube channel Shazy Jeo videos and explore variety of content 
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  8. Christy added a comment on a blog entry New day!   

    Thank you Monica😍
    I try not to but I just can’t help it!😜 The pic was actually of me. Then you put it through the app so you can see what you “might” look like. Of course I used 2 filters to get there but it was fun. It’s called face app. I am having the best day and I am all dressed as Christy!!!! I’m having to much fun to post everything so I’ll do it later. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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  9. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry New day!   

    Dear Christy,
    Try not to compare yourself with others. You are beautiful inside and out.
    Your friend,
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  10. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    New day!
    I had so much fun with that app and it really did lift my spirits but I started spending to much time with it. The pic started to bother me for some reason so I took it down. I found myself saying “oh I will never look that good” which probably isn’t healthy for me. The future is a  mystery.  Today was good, just kind of even as far as the transition goes. I did get to spend a lot of time with my kids and even took them to a show with my parents. We had a great time. My father still doesn’t know yet and I’m not sure how I will get the courage to tell him. I will work on telling him and my wife with the therapist next week. 😬 I am excited and nervous about my laser hair removal appointment tomorrow for my face. I have a feeling that might easy the dysphoria a bit because I can’t stand this beard. I couldn’t shave for 2 days in preparation for the laser. Ugh. I will have the opportunity over the next couple of days to sleep in girl clothes 😍 I have been taking care of my body, working out, eating healthy and just trying to enjoy all these new feelings. I do get some doubts but they don’t seem to last very long. Luckily I have some transgender friends that I met and they are a blessing to have in my life. One guy ftm, invited me over today to me his wife and family which was sooo nice but I had my kids so I couldn’t go. 😕 maybe next week.  I will post my thoughts on the laser tomorrow and if it hurts more than the back. I have a feeling it might. Well off to bed.  
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  11. ZoeyM added a post in a topic Miniskirts are making a comeback   

    I have a few and have not worn them a lot.My age as well and don't need a pervert looking up it
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  12. Emma added a topic in Transgender Health Care   

    Boston Univ. Med. School Offering Enhanced Trans Care Electives
    See? We're catching on! Sure, everyone wishes this wasn't such a new thing but it has to start somewhere.
    Direct Patient Care Experience Necessary for Better Transgender Care
    “We have seen that lack of knowledgeable medical providers remains the most reported barrier to good care for transgender patients. Direct care experiences with transgender patients not only increases the confidence of medical providers in providing care, but more importantly provides the patient with a better experience,” added Safer, who also is medical director of the Center for Transgender Medicine and Surgery at Boston Medical Center.
    BUSM students who participated in the standard transgender care curriculum were offered the opportunity to participate in a subsequent clinical elective providing direct care to transgender individuals. Students were surveyed before and after their elective experience regarding knowledge and comfort with transgender medical care.
    After completing the elective, students who reported “high” comfort increased from 45 percent to 80 percent and students who reported “high” knowledge regarding management of transgender patients increased from 0 to 85 percent. Even motivated students who already were interested in transgender care and who already rated themselves well with transgender care saw large improvements in their scores after the direct patient care experience.
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  13. MichelleLea added a comment on a blog entry Big Boy/Girl   

    Thanks as usual for your comments and encouraging words. I plan on getting more involved with Chamber activities and projects as I am able. So far, so good.
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  14. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Big Boy/Girl   

    I agree completely with Monica. I worked with SCORE in San Jose some years back, did some consulting myself on business planning. It's excellent!
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  15. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Big Boy/Girl   

    Dear MichelleLea,
    You'll find you will get out of the Chamber of Commerce what you put into it. Joining the Chamber of Commerce is one of the greatest investments you can make in your business career. They also offer programs such as SCORE, which are retired business owners and executives who offer free advice. Also they offer free or inexpensive classes on how to run a business. There are free pamphlets about various aspects on running a business. Best of all, they have a program pairing up women business owners (also people of color and disabled). 
    Love hearing about your progress!
    Yours truly,
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  16. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Indeed, I enjoy motorcycle riding too (prefer off road), motorcycle engine work,  woodworking... Women enjoy these things too. I will say, though, that my KLR650 is so heavy, I’m not sure if I could pick it up anymore!
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  17. Lori added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Hey, let's not get crazy here!  Girls ride motorcycles too, and look darn good on them! I think I know what you're experiencing. I went through the same thing. I actually threw away every single piece of male clothing and I quit riding my motorcycles for a period of time. Gradually, as I settled into my new gender role, I allowed myself to enjoy things I used to and started riding my street and dirt bikes again. I even wear the occasional piece of male clothing -- like motorcycle gear. Why not, if it is better suited. 
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  18. Christy added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Thank you girls for the advice! I can remember like it was yesterday the moment I said to myself that “I want to be a girl” and sitting in the bathroom trying to turn the p into a v. I try to pay very close attention to what people are saying & what I am thinking. If someone is a negative person I just move on. It is wasted energy in my view but I also have empathy for them as well. It stinks to live that way. IMO. I have also found myself thinking completely differently about a lot of things. I have a nice motorcycle that I loved and planned on passing it along to one of my kids. I haven’t touched it since I made this decision. Nor do I want to. Weird. I’m still keeping it though😃. I’d rather get my nails done than play golf. Music taste is changing. I could go on but you all know this already. Right now I am just trying to enjoy all of it because it is amazing. Fascinating really. What an experience. 😁 thank you, thank you, thank you 
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  19. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Big Boy/Girl   

    I’m so glad for you, Michelle! Yes, maybe you’ve found a niche. More likely, you’ve found that you can do it. Now’s the time to really push yourself to locate and open new opportunities. Ride the success wave! There’s nothing like it. 
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  20. MichelleLea added a blog entry in Random thoughts and ideas   

    Big Boy/Girl
    I have enjoyed reading everyone's experiences in acknowledging their gender roles--some good, some awkward given the culture we live in. As I have written before, I am content now to be able to wear feminine clothing on my own and feel comfortable doing it. I have to thank the girls at TG Guide for being supportive and empathetic. I believe that if we do nothing else in life, we need to be there for each other. We're all we have, and we're all in this together. I love you all.
    On another note, I opened my first business account all by myself today, and do I feel smart. It was a small beauty salon, and fortunately, the owner was a lovely lady who was very patient with me. I go back this Sunday after everyone is out of church to complete the enrollments.  This makes three barber shops and now one salon that I have opened. Maybe, I have found my niche. I am going to the speed networking event at the Chamber of Commerce on Monday evening. That should be an experience for sure. More to come on that later.
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  21. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    You are not alone here, many look back at missed opportunities and will ponder "what if I took that opportunity?", best to simply stop looking into the past (yes I did this too) and simply move forward.
    The longer you are on this journey my guess is there will be many moments, when you least suspect it that a new feeling will emerge that seems out of now where that is totally female or how you walk thru your daily life and think to yourself, X amount of time ago I never thought this way, I've had those moments which would come at the strangest of times, walking across the street, chatting with the woman at work on a girls night out etc. Time presents many surprises both good and bad or indifferent, embrace them for what they are e.g. jeez I ran out of panty liners or I'm having a great time out with friends while the person at the table across from us just bought me a drink.   
    Life may be short yet full of wonderful things, cherish the past with no regrets is food for thought.
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  22. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Awareness   

    Thanks for the comments Emma, Lori and Monica!!!
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  23. Bonnie added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    In historic 1st, transgender inmate wins transfer to women's prison
    July 31, 2017    CBC News   Politics
    Canada's federal prison service has approved the first transfer of a transgender inmate to an institution based on gender identity rather than physical anatomy, CBC News has learned.
    Fallon Aubee, who has been serving a life sentence at B.C.'s Mission Institution, told CBC her request to move to a women's prison has been approved, and she will be transferred to Fraser Valley Institution for Women on Tuesday.
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  24. Lori added a comment on a blog entry Awareness   

    There are some trans people (cisgender as well) that I don't care to be around because they become a spectacle everywhere they go, whether through appearance, mannerisms, speech or behavior.
    I agree we should be free to live our lives however we want, but the reality is different. 
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  25. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    ​About a hundred years ago and earlier infant and toddler boys often wore dresses because it made sense for their hygiene. Also dressed in a christening dress when baptized. I remember seeing my grandfather's photo of him in a dress when a toddler. He was born in 1896...
    Yesterday I happened across a YouTube video by some who claim that trans females are coerced or set up to be trans by parents inflicting forced feminization, petticoat punishment, and the like. We know this is all crap and nonsense. However, I'd suggest that outside of safe circles such as ours and therapy that you consider that some may use your childhood experiences as a way to challenge your validity. Be careful, protect yourself.
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