Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Awareness   

    To me what you described is the classic Ugly American. Trans or not they have little regard for what is appropriate behavior. Like talking on their cell phone (or worse, via Skype on their laptop) in a coffee shop they aren't aware of the social cues or just don't care.
    Regardless, I agree completely with you, Karen, that part of becoming ourselves is to be a woman. Lots of models to choose from of course! I'm not saying we need to be delicate flowers or anything like that, but to be accepted as a woman especially by cis women means occupying our space similar to the way they do. 
    As Monica suggested, perhaps in private over a glass of wine or coffee, I'd advise your associate to be observant of how women are dressed, carry themselves, and interact with men and women, and model their behavior accordingly. Have fun with it. It's like learning a new language and in most cultures natives just love it when they see us trying to make an effort. 
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  2. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Awareness   

    Dear Karen,
    When someone is loud and unkempt, trans or cisgender, male or female, Straight or Gay, this could mean low self-esteem, under the influence, or mental illness, especially if you recall them in times past as "well put together." You are wise to back off graciously in public, as this person could create an unpleasant scene.
    The time to give such a person support is in private, but I would not go into their home or invite them into yours. Your personal safety is paramount.
    This really brings home the point that a person can change dramatically, even in a short period of time.
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
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  3. Christy added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Thank you Monica & Chantel!
    When I here from other girls I don’t feel so alone anymore. It is amazing to me that my mood or just the general outlook on life can change so quickly when I here from others. When I was a baby my mom and aunt used to dress me as a girl all the time. I even remembered some of those times recently in therapy. They always said I was a beautiful baby. 
     Christy😍
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  4. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Awareness
    Yesterday while standing outside on break at work I hear someone say “hey you”, turned, looked around and here is a trans person whom I’ve known but have not seen in ages standing there. I said hi, she comes over and we hug. She is around 30 years old and when she (from what I remember) doing well (on her meds) very passable other than her voice. Well I could tell she was not well shaven facial wise and was very loud when chatting with her.

    There was a couple about 50 feet away that could not take their eyes off her and know full well that it was from her appearance, partly female, partly male.  It was not one or two glances over in our direction but many over say (I was not keeping time) ten minutes. I felt like saying something but decided not too as it could very well have gone in a direction that I did not care for and was on break at work while if not at work would had said something.

    The take-a-way from this is if you are looking to present as one gender than make an effort while if your are fluid it doesn’t matter yet this person is looking to be totally female and have surgery. Also, people say in general they are accepting of trans but we all know there are some who are not and need to be cognitive to this as some do mean us harm.  

    From the day I first presented myself (after surgery) as female clothing, mannerism and voice needed to be there and made sure it was. This is not to say it’s wrong to go against the grain but if so be prepared for blowback be it people staring, saying nasty things or physical, be aware is the bottom line
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  5. Chantel added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Hi Christy, I have also had similar experiences and can relate to what you are saying. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  6. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Girls day!   

    Welcome back! I deeply share and understand your feelings. I felt that way last night when I received a surprise invitation to a "paint party" at my hair salon's for the weekend after next. The owner and all of the ladies are so nice and welcoming!
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  7. Frank09 added a blog entry in Intro   

    Girls day!
    Last weekend I got to do something that I thought could only dream about. That was to participate in all girls day with my friends. The girls were gladly to accept me  as one of them. It felt so good to be with them and enjoy all of the activity’s we did. I felt so free. Also going to my first therapy session this weekend. 
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  8. Emma added a post in a topic Transgender woman gunned down in central Fresno   

    Thank goodness. 
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  9. olcharlie added a post in a topic Transgender woman gunned down in central Fresno   

    Police arrest suspect in brutal 2015 slaying of transgender woman
    BY RORY APPLETON
    rappleton@fresnobee.comFebruary 05, 2018 03:48 PM
    Fresno police have arrested a man they believe to be responsible for the brutal killing of a transgender woman more than two years ago. 
    Richard Joseph Lopez, 37, was charged with the July 2015 murder of 66-year-old Kenton Craig Haggard, who friends say went by “Casey” or “KC.” Police Chief Jerry Dyer said Lopez has a criminal history and was in jail for an unrelated elder abuse case when detectives identified him as the murderer.

    Read more here: http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/crime/article198546939.html#storylink=cpyMore here: http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/crime/article198546939.html
     

    Read more here: http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/crime/article198546939.html#storylink=cpy 
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  10. Emma added a topic in Mental Health and Crisis Intervention   

    Is Being Transgender A Mental Illness?
    Of course we know it's not. This short video explains it very clearly and succinctly:
    Is Being Transgender A Mental Illness?
    https://cdnapisec.kaltura.com/index.php/extwidget/preview/partner_id/2197371/uiconf_id/37028752/entry_id/0_aavgpc63/embed/dynamic
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  11. Christy added a post in a topic Dr. Kathy Rumer - GRS in Philadelphia   

    Hi Chrissy, thanks for sharing your experience. It helps me gather info as I plan out my possible future. I was wondering if you could send an update on how you are doing and maybe some info on what needs to be done on a daily basis. If anything at all. Still learning about GRS. Thank you so much for sharing. 
    Christy😍
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  12. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Time   

    Dear Christy,
    As I said in the Forums (in response to your post), good looking people in one gender tend to be good looking in the other gender when they transition.
    Also recall my mother loved that my second brother had beautiful hair when he was an infant, and she allowed it to grow long until he entered Kindergarten. He was often mistaken for being a girl. Think this happens a lot, and when driven by the parent, does not affect gender or sexual orientation. 
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  13. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    Time
    I am feeling really girly today! As I was sitting on my patio this morning meditating, I felt more like a girl then ever before. Is was a very calm peasant experience that just make me feel happy and normal. It’s hard to put this into words but I guess I am starting to connect more with my true self. In the past I was always attached to the boy side because it was a great Benifit in my life. (Blessed with good looks) . People definitely treated me differently and it made life a little easier in most cases. When starting this transition that was something I didn’t want to let go of, so I was holding on to it. But as the boy is disappearing and the girl wakes up I am letting go of the things that were holding me back from being me. What a fascinating experience to go through. I am realizing how my much I have trained myself, not only in mannerisms but in thoughts as well. I am finding out more about what I really like in life and the true nature of why I made certain choices in the past. Looking at the past I can see many of the opportunities that presented themselves for me to transition. I guess I knew that when they were right in front of me (to some extent anyway) but just couldn’t take the next step. In hindsight I was just afraid of the unknown and that fear steered the course my life for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I have had a great life filled with a ton of blessings but it was kind of manufactured to some extent. Now it’s starting to fell more organic or natural in a way. At the same time my brain is saying, hey! Wait just a minute there.....you are physically manufacturing your body with HRT and taking certain steps to change. That is not organic at all sooo.....I guess this must be on the spiritual level in some way. Either way it just feel correct. It’s kind of like the energy of the world is saying ahhhhhhhh finally we are on the right path. Welp! Time to shave the beard off! I am really looking forward to laser hair appointment. 😜
    live,love,learn
    Christy😍
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  14. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    Time
    Hello all😃
    Everything is going well today. I am healing up great from the surgery and getting some energy back. I still have glue on the  incisions but they look good. I am able to get around for work and everything else but I do take it easy. Going to the gym now for a short walk and to see what else I can do. HRT is going well and feeling fine. I have noticed some growth in the breasts and the butt/hips although it is very small and I’m fine with that. My butt and chest definitely jiggle more now. I would like my butt to be a little firmer so that is why I’m going to the gym. Stair master! Slowly.  I do have a sense of peace in my life now that I haven’t felt for a long time. Oh and my eye lashes are definitely growing or getting darker because my bottom lashes were almost invisible before I started back in December. Now you can definitely see them just a bit. I have been working on my skin  routine for about two weeks now and the results are starting to show.  My face is definitely getting more feminized but my  pores  are still clogged so I think I might need to have that extracted or something. I was looking up some information on how to go about it and saw something about a hydrafacial. I watched a video on it and it look like it made a lot of sense but I’m not sure where to go.  I also scheduled an appointment to start facial hair removal and I will let you know how that goes as well. After the experience with laser removal on my back and arms I am quite confident it will go fine.  It’s also odd to me that little things that didn’t bother me as much before are starting to bother me more now. Like people calling me sir, (which I understand)  having more dysphoria regarding facial hair, body hair and wearing boy clothes.  I was just at a restaurant picking up some to food and when my order was ready the girl said “Sir your order is here”.  Which is completely normal. For the first time I stepped up and wanted to correct her but I didn’t. It caught me off guard or something, just a  twinge of  ”hey!” That’s not right. Weird. I have more appointments next week and will let you know how that goes. Off to the gym!!👏🏻
    Live,love,learn🐠
    Christy😍
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  15. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    Time to reflect

    Hello all this is my story......I need to get it out.
    One of the first memories I have (regarding my gender) is playing in the stair well of the apartment complex which had 3 levels and a wall of glass looking outside. We were making up stories and playing them out by choosing characters and I reallllllllly wanted to be the mermaid. I was 5 years old. Everyone played and we had a lot of fun, girls and boys. We continued to play this way for the summer on and off, but each time we played I wanted to be a female character and sometimes argued with the girls over it. Only one time did I concede the role I wanted to another girl and that was only because the boys started making fun of me. As we played these roles over time the girls started dressing up for their characters and well...I started borrowing their clothes or costumes and I really enjoyed it. I didn't really think any think of it, we were just having fun. That was one of the first memories. The years went bye and I still wanted to be the girl, wearing girl stuff when I could. So, I did. Then the ridicule from others started to gain momentum (boys and girls) so I started keeping thing to myself more & more. I was about 8-9 and I remember sitting in the bathroom for long periods of time wishing I had a vagina and hating my penis. That’s when I learned how to take my boy parts and make them look like girl parts. Always wishing they would just stay that way but they never would. I would lift the testis up in the pockets, push the penis back into my body and pull the scrotum up and over everything. Then shape the scrotum to look like a vagina. It actually looked pretty good and relieved my dysphoria. (although I didn’t know it at the time) That’s when I swiped a pair of pantyhose from the laundry pile and put them on one night after dinner. My mom thought it was cute and allowed me to wear them while we watched TV. I love it!!!! I love the feeling on my skin and the way it made me feel inside. I was just a little closer to being a girl than ever before. I liked it so much that I started wearing my sister’s clothes as well and asking my mom to put make up on me, so she did. After some time that is how I dressed whenever I could and I would sleep in girl clothes if given the opportunity. Then one day that was it…..I was told that this is not appropriate and I could not dress like a girl anymore. I was very upset and didn’t see what the big deal was. I guess someone saw me and then ask my parent about it so they made up some story and put the brakes on all of it. So, they thought……. I just went underground with my dressing and loved it. I would put on my little sister’s gymnastics outfit (leggings & bodysuit) and fall asleep almost every night wishing I would magically turn into a girl the next day. Over and over and over again. I just kept acquiring more things to wear over the years and making sure to hide them well. My dad did kind of catch me once but he didn’t really see what I was doing and we never spoke of it. Whsheww… This went on until I was about 14-15 and then I really started ramping up things. Also on the outside I was a cute boy with lots of girlfriends, I was having a lot of fun in life. I guess I thought this would pass or I would just keep it a secret forever. Nobody needs to know that I like this stuff. Well My mom started working again so I found myself home alone almost everyday for at least 2 hrs. That is when I started dressing all the way. I had just a bit of hair on my legs so I shaved them. I was completely dressed as a girl from shoes to hair & makeup. I would do this every chance I could, keeping it very very quite. Until one day I just had to go out into the world and I wasn’t even aware why I felt this way. I just had to do it. So I went out to get the mail and came back in. It was so exciting and I thought that even if someone saw me they would never know it was ME. Well someone did see me and asked my mom about it and then…she asked me. Soooo, I lied my way around that one as well, I felt terrible, ashamed and scared. So back in the closet again little girl…away with you. I was really good at sports and decided to focus all my attention on that as well as girls. (I just loved the girls so cute) I had to ask myself if I was gay or not…but if I liked girls and not boys (sexually) what the hell is going on. This must be a phase or something. More time goes by and I never spot dressing in female clothes when I want to or when I can. All the time seemingly living a great cismale life. Sports, Collage, Social, etc. Then while I was working as a part time personal trainer some friends decided to move out to LA. One of the guys going backed out and they asked me. I said yes and pack up my stuff. At the age of 20 I found myself in a whole new world that was exciting and scary. I won’t go into the details but I started wearing female underwear and well you get it. Still hiding. I made the decision that there is nothing weird about it and lots of rockers were wearing makeup. That is when I started to transition and it felt really great until my friends started questioning me and at other times making fun of the LBGT community. I was freaking out and instead of going forward I went the other way. I became super fit and shaped my body into something I could be proud of. I was trying to over compensate for the way I felt and I continued this for 15yrs.………Damnn. So now I have a wife and kids and time is not on my side. I thought many times that I will take it to the grave and years passed by. But it is always there. I have even come close to death a couple of times by trying to drink this away but…..nope. So, this past holiday season came to an end and I made the decision to move forward no matter what. The crazy thing is that after truly making this decision I have a sense of calm come over me. I am happier. I know there are going to be ups and downs but that is how life is, transgender or not. It has been a little over a month on herbals and only couple of days on HRT. I have noticed many small changes from my breasts, skin, hair, butt etc. and they feel correct. Well that is all I have time for now but I will be updating this blog on a regular basis.
    Thanks so much and remember live,love,Learn
    Christy
    Male to Female (MtF) Transsexual Dis  
     Hello everyone!
    Well I’m feeling much better today. I can move around pretty well. I will need to take it easy for awhile, no yoga😞. But I can still walk! I started HRT yesterday and really happy about that. I haven’t been able to wear anything girly which is bumming me out a bit but that’s life. I have been practicing my voice and as hard as it is I think it’s going well. My  throat is a little soar from the air tube during surgery but that actually helped me with my tone because I had to speak softly. I was even speaking at a higher pitch it just didn’t hurt as much. I was thinking I should have had them suck out the extra fat around my belly when they were in there. Lol. Anyway, the HRT is great, easier and cheaper the the herbals were. The Endo told me to stop all herbals and she will see me in 30 days. I will also get another blood work up done this week. I have been online looking for a pair of sandals, jeggings and some sort of top to wear.  I want something that’s kind of androgynous for the shoes and the top. The jeggings look like jeans. Not sure if I can pull all this off right now but I am going to keep moving forward. I do have a question...do your eyelashes grow or come in thicker when your on HRT? I hope so  
    Christy😍
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  16. KelseyR added a post in a topic Miniskirts are making a comeback   

    Great news, I love minis. For me they never went out of style.
     
    Kelsey
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  17. Emma added a blog entry in Emma Sweet's Blog   

    My Fair Lady
    At last week's meeting with Sandy, my voice coach/therapist, she recalled that early in our work together she'd offered to also coach me on feminine poise, mannerisms. Was I still interested? Absolutely! We thus spent a very fun hour working on my walk during which I recalled the line, "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."
    As with so much in life the differences between how men and women stand and walk are subtle. For some none of this may matter but for me I want the whole package. Here's some of the high points which are admittedly hard to describe in words but I'll try.
    Women occupy less space than men. They tend to keep their arms and hands near their bodies, don't stretch their arms out on couches and chairs. If there's one thing to remember that's numero uno.When standing (such waiting for a stoplight to change, keep both feet pointing straight forward, ankles touching. It's a bit of a balancing act at first. Stand upright as if there is a string that enters the top of your skull and travels through your body to the floor. There are several aspects to the walk. It helps to first notice how you walk (if you're a trans woman) "normally." Most men, for example, lead their stride by throwing out their feet/heel to create the momentum to keep moving. The ankles tend to travel further apart and toes are often splayed outward. The overall situation is that men follow their feet. Women, however:Push off their stride with their toes and the torso catches up while the other foot pushes off with its toes. Women's calves then tend to follow their torso. Shorter, calmer strides than men. Toes are pointed straight forward, ankles traveling close to each other as the feet glide past.Walk with upright good posture, as if two strings are tied to your clavicle and gently pulling you forward.That's about it. We put about 15' of masking tape on the floor in two stripes about 5-6" apart. Its a good exercise to walk along those tapes, keeping the toes forward. Move forward and backward so as to work on embedding the new walk into your muscle memory. 
    I'm far from an expert with it but it's fun to be aware of and use. 
    See you!
    Emma
    Update 2/4/18:
    Last night I went over to a friend's house for dinner and wore shoes with 1 1/2" heels. As I walked around my house, to the car, etc., it became so clear why women walk the way I described. Having heels on shoes makes it quite awkward to walk like a man and naturally encourages walking like a woman. Fun!
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  18. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry A good day   

    Kitrah, I'm drooling!   🐓
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  19. KelseyR added a post in a topic Nylon stockings or pantyhose   

    Yuck, pantyhose, don't like pantyhose one little bit. I do like garter and stockings.
     
    Kelsey
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  20. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    Kitrah wrote, "But I keep trying. I don’t give up." 
    That's so important. I know how hard it is to focus especially when my little brain starts protecting me, telling me that maybe I'm not good enough, I won't understand it. Then, it feels safer to give up and surf the web or something like that.
    I often had these kinds of crisis while studying programming. What I tried to do then were things like:
    ​- Change my study environment. I'd go to the library, or a park and sit under a tree, or maybe a coffee shop. This helped to break up the routine, give me a pleasant excuse to study and work.
    - Take a walk.
    - Have a cup of coffee or tea.
    - Take a nap!
    ​It's also important to recognize when you get your best work done. For me it's in the morning. So, I try to get to sleep early, wake early, and take advantage of those morning hours.
    It's okay to take breaks. Every hour get up and stretch, maybe make a phone call, grab a coffee.
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  21. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    Hi girls. Yea I do like computers obvious. Much my skills is make things in blender and video effect or photoshop. I do try to take game design course also for 3D animation that I like. Part this problem w me is I am stuck I’m not good at focus or I start feeling I’m not going make it and give up. People get tired of hearing the crying and move on. The trans issue make it hard focus because I’m always think what will happen. When I start with worry then just get worse that I end up not do anything because I don’t want be in this situation. So I am having constant talk w myself since there’s no one and when I’m calm that when I can focus. I also in middle of transition and the changes is obvious. So I just try stay away until it’s done. Maybe everone go thru this different but it make me uncomfortable and I can’t function. I just freeze. I want to try go back to college but then I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t pick what I want because always I just get what other don’t want. Sure anyone can say big things but I know I’m not doing that. That why I still see my therapists. Cuz I’m like scratched record. Some part make sense that the other part warped. But I keep trying. I don’t give up.
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  22. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry A good day   

    Thx me to. That was good day but I decide not make chicken instead what I make was homemade chicken pot pie. 
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  23. EShaver added a post in a topic Pinterest and other social media   

    Dawn , Pinterest is honestly wayyyyyy more transphobic than Faceless Book ! I am on FB , but ONLY because I own a architectural building service . You can find me at Art Forms design on Face Book
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  24. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    Dear Kitrah, Emma and Karen,
    There is a wonderful FREE nonprofit educational website called Khan Academy (www.Khan Academy.org), "You Tube University," and many outstanding universities that offer free no credit online courses. You may have to Google "free online courses" or "free university online courses." Some are taped and some of them are live with a professor and other students taking the course with you online. Have studied both at Khan Academy and taken Finance at NYU this way and got a lot out of it. Also, I got a lot out of You Tube.
    Worth looking into . . .
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  25. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    And I agree with Karen. The opportunities in computer science are excellent and can be self taught. Yes, it’s tough to learn it in college or alone at home, but it can be done.
    I taught myself how to make iPad and iPhone apps, for example. The developer tools are free from Apple and there are excellent free courses available on the web, such as from Stanford. But you do have to have a good computer and that may be out of reach. 
    As I studied and got stuck I kept downshifting into more basic studies. I finally had success learning Java, and then Objective-C. Finally, I developed an app and released it in the App Store. Didn’t make any real money but with that I could prove that I had enough chops for an entry level job.
    Computer science isn’t everything, though. Employers need people with good, hard-working will-do attitudes. Whether it’s in retail or a service industry, it’s hard to find employees with a fire in their bellies. Show that fire is in you and the rest will naturally follow.
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