Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic HRT Doctor: "Why I Wish All of My Patients Were Transgender"   

    The 0.6% number comes from a fairly recent study by The Williams Institute at UCLA. Indeed, they doubled their previous 0.3%. Note that the percentage is only for the adult population, about 1.4M people total. For perspective they say 3% are gay/lesbian.
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  2. bluemoon added a comment on a blog entry Next   

    Chrissy, congratulations on your hair independence now that you are free to wear your own hair or a wig. I just want to tell you how much I understand the importance of hair to your gender identity and overall sense of self, appearance, and social persona. That has always been an issue with me, beginning in middle childhood when my desire for long hair became a terrible battleground for me with my parents. That made me hypersensitive about it for life. You portrayed your hair unveiling so vividly and I could totally see myself going through a similar thing if I were you or in similar circumstances. I've rarely been entirely happy with how my hair looks and it being as androgynous as I want it to be rather than too male or too female looking. I also have a so far unfulfilled desire for feathers in it, especially ever since I saw Steven Tyler with them years ago on American Idol. 
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  3. Chrissy added a post in a topic NYT: "Is God Transgender?"   

    On the subject of the Supreme Court specifically, there is very good reason to be very pessimistic about the near and distant future. Although Goresuch didn't really change anything (he replaced Scalia, perhaps the worst bigot/sexist/homophobe/transphobe the court has ever seen). But Kennedy and Ginbsburg are both at an age where retirement could happen anytime, if Trump gets to nominate for one or both of them, the Court is lost for decades to come.
    After that bit of pessimism, I think that simply means having to put more effort into grassroots movements at the local and state level. And one thing that's been very encouraging in the past 6 months is the new level of activism in the country, triggered by Trump, and the intersectional nature of it! I increasingly see Black Lives Matter people, feminists, trans activists, etc. stepping up for each other's interests (in truth they're just realizing that there are so many shared interests). There will be set backs, especially at the federal level, but I still think the future will be better! Hopefully more and more cisgender, straight, white men will realize that there's a benefit to giving up their privilege and working to help everyone advance. (Hopefully Caitlyn Jenner will realize that too)
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  4. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Authentic   

    I echo Emma in saying that I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. Experiencing pain from surgery can certainly magnify anything else that's going on around you, so I hope that your pain will subside soon!
    The fact that you keep pushing through despite the pain and without the full support of family and friends says a lot about your strength! It is important for us all to know who we are and what we need, but validation from others does help, I hope that you get some of that on this site and hopefully you'll find other people in your life who will offer it as well.
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  5. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Hi everyone,
    I took a somewhat unexpected next step on Friday - and it came with a pretty big bit of self-realization.
    Since I started wearing a wig regularly (going on 2 years now) I've been rather relaxed about haircuts. The last couple of haircuts were self-inflicted - I mean "self-done" - and so my natural hair has, I'm sure, not looked so great. But it didn't matter, nobody was seeing it - even if I just went downstairs for laundry, etc., I'd at least wear a baseball cap.
    It occurred to me that if I actually met someone and started dating, they would eventually need to see it. So I've known for a little while that I at least needed to get a real haircut and not keep doing it myself. At a practical level I wasn't sure how that would work - would I go someplace without a wig on to get it done?  Unlikely. Would I wear it and take it off when I got there? That seemed likely, but possibly awkward.
    I had lunch with a friend on Friday (Bastille Day!!!) and mentioned all of this, and showed her a picture I had found on-line of a hair style that I thought might work for me (BTW, my hair is quite thin, and there is some male-pattern baldness, that's what's made going natural so difficult for me). She agreed with the style, and with my "plan" to go to Supercuts after our lunch. To help me along she insisted that I send her a selfie when I was done :-)   I like that kind of thing, being "backed into a corner" helps overcome any last-minute jitters.
    So I went to Supercuts. There was one guy and two women doing hair - I was hoping not to get the guy - I didn't. I explained to the person who did my hair that the last cuts had been my own before I took the wig off, and I showed her the picture I found. I knew she couldn't do exactly what was in the picture, I don't have enough hair :-(   But she got the idea, she knew what I was going for, and she did a great job!!!  I had fully anticipated that I would put the wig back on when we were done, but then I didn't, I went home "natural" (and mind you this was in the city, so "going home" involved a 10 minute walk in Manhattan to the PATH train, a 20 minute train ride, then a 10 minute walk home). It's not my "fantasy" hair style, but I'm not likely to ever have that (see above re "not enough hair", plus I don't think the Farrah hairstyle is so popular these days).
    Below is a picture I took after I got home (so my hair was dry). A "pixie cut" as I came to learn is what it's called :-)  Pardon the exposed bra strap and lack of any make-up!
    The self-realization happened because as I was walking home I felt a sense of liberation from not wearing a wig. I realized that I had let my wig(s) represent my gender - subconsciously I only felt like a woman with a wig on. Not that I won't ever wear them again, but I need to work through this (especially now that I'm on summer break, so I have some freedom to ease in). Friday night I had to make a trip to Rite Aid, so I decided to do it without a wig. Then yesterday when I went to play tennis I didn't wear it, and again today I went to the gym and the supermarket without it. It really does feel good, it feels like another step towards authenticity :-)
    ***Please know that I'm not criticizing wearing wigs!!! I know a lot of trans people do, and obviously I was for 2 years and probably will continue to do so. I just personally need to know that I'm fully me with or without it***
    Here's a pic -
    And unrelated to this post - here is a picture of Cinammon. I got her a few days before my GRS (at Duane Reade when I was getting my surgery-related prescriptions), she went with me to Philadelphia for the surgery, was with me through the entire recovery and ever since :-)  Particularly in the few weeks right after surgery, when I couldn't really write in a journal, I often talked with her about things that I was feeling...she's a great listener, she doesn't judge, she just smiles :-)

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  6. bluemoon added a post in a topic NYT: "Is God Transgender?"   

    Most religions include both gods and goddesses. It is only in monotheism where the question even arises whether god (singular) is female or male. However, even Christianity and Judaism speak of angels that are female. Since angels are supernatural beings, it is perhaps only a matter of semantics to say they are somehow not deities or gods. There are also androgynous gods, such as the hindu ardhanarishvara, a composite of shiva (one of the main hindu gods) and his consort, parvati. Many other hindu deities change gender or have opposite gender forms. The original Hebrew word for Adam is androgynous or gender neutral and Eve was fashioned from Adam's rib or "zela," which often means a component, suggesting that Adam contained both genders before the differentiation of Eve. Perhaps the bigger question, especially in monotheism, is why god even has gender if god is supposed to be a non-biological entity or spirit. Maybe that's because gods are made in man's image (I mean maybe that's because gods and goddesses are made in humans' images).
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  7. bluemoon added a post in a topic Transgender Activists Attack Pro-Family Campaign Bus With Hammer, Paint   

    There are few things that I despise more than that kind of simple minded, binary, intolerant thinking. However, attacks on free speech constitute one of them. Responding to words with violence is not the way to win people's hearts and minds. Truth be told, it makes us look silly and weak. We must take strong measures to protect ourselves from threats in any form, whether verbal, legislative, or physical. However, it is counterproductive and a losing game to start fights over words. We need to treat others with respect or at least tolerance, no matter how strongly we disagree with them, if we ever hope to receive mainstream respect and acceptance.
    That said, news has become so politicized that it has become difficult to distinguish between responsible/neutral news reporting, opinion, propaganda, and even outright fabrication. It is truly despicable, dirty tactics if someone made up the story about transgender "activists" attacking a "pro-family" bus to make us look bad or achieve some political gain. Accordingly, it would be the height of folly to then play into their hands by making it come true.
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  8. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic Texas may lose 2018 NFL Draft   

    NYT: IBM Takes Out Full-Page Ads Against Texas 'Bathroom Bill'
    "As one of the largest technology employers in Texas, IBM firmly opposes any measure that would harm the state's LGBT+ community and make it difficult for businesses to attract and retain talented Texans," the ads read.
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  9. EShaver added a post in a topic Texas may lose 2018 NFL Draft   

    Gennee, for some unknown reason , Texas adapted the Fire an Brimstone Baptist Revival theory and for another unknown reason , they expect someone like me to adapt to it  too...
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  10. Gennee added a post in a topic Texas may lose 2018 NFL Draft   

    I was stationed in Texas back in 1971. I liked San Antonio and Houston. The problem is that their politics stink.
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  11. EShaver added a post in a topic Texas may lose 2018 NFL Draft   

    GOOD!!!!!! the legislature has gone completely 180 because the founders of the republic of Texas were Gamblers, Womanizers , Society out casts and renegades like myself who won't return until the religious Theocratists are run outta Dodge !
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  12. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic Denying Child's Gender Identity Child Abuse   

    Bravo, Blue. This is much less about government's possible overreaching into normal parent-child relationships than those that are actually damaging. I was in the latter camp but almost 60 years ago, so my treatment and abuse by my mother - if anyone other than she was ever aware of it - would probably not have raised eyebrows or concerns anyway.These days we know so much more, there is absolutely no excuse for denying a child his/her identity. To look the other way is irresponsible and cruel.
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  13. bluemoon added a post in a topic Denying Child's Gender Identity Child Abuse   

    This is about a child's rights and the state's protecting them in extreme circumstances, such as parents abusing, neglecting, or otherwise not acting in their best interests in major ways that can injure them physically or mentally. Forcing a child to go against their gender identity is potentially, if not always, extremely destructive. It's tragic that some parents act so poorly that the state has to enact and enforce laws to protect children from them. At least In the states, it takes such an extreme pattern of abuse or neglect for a government agency to even petition for termination of parental rights that there are already usually serious and sometimes irreparable effects of it.
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  14. bluemoon added a post in a topic Judge Allows Person to Sue Under Disability Lawt   

    According to DSM-5, gender dysphoria "refers to the distress that may accompany the incongruence between one's experienced or expressed gender and one's assigned gender... It focuses on dysphoria as the clinical problem, not identity per se." This takes into account that gender is a sense of self or identity based on multiple factors and experiences, not just anatomy, and allows for different degrees, types, and ways of adapting to and expressing this incongruence. It is not automatically a pathology. Since the diagnosis of gender dysphoria recognizes the great distress that can arise from this issue, however, it can still form the basis for treatment, insurance reimbursement, and even disability.
    Transgender status was never a protected class under Title VII, so this is not altered by the diagnostic change from gender identity disorder to gender dysphoria. As the article and previous post mention, the lawsuit is based on its more general sex discrimination provisions and therefore may "expand civil rights for transgender people just a little." It's about time!
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  15. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry Pierced Earrings   

    I just had mine pierced three weeks ago! It was a little scary and hurt a little but it was over pretty quickly, with new titanium studs in place. They are healing fine, no pain. As far as I can tell they are healed but I've been advised strongly to keep up with the twice daily saline soaks for at least 6 weeks. Okay, better safe than sorry...
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  16. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic Hello....   

    Hi Patrice, and welcome! Glad you're liking what you're finding. We try hard to make meaningful posts in the forums, and have the blog area for personal discussions - which I like a lot.
    I don't receive notification emails when I receive a "like" so I looked around to see if I could figure out why. Please try this:
    - Pull down on your name in the upper right corner of the screen to reveal the menu.
    - Select "Notification Settings".
    - There, I found that I don't have much selected at all and one can opt out of everything. 
    Hope that helps and, even more, that we hear more from you.
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  17. patrice FAILURE TO COMPLY added a topic in Forum Help & Support   

    Is it possible to turn-off of the "likes" notifications?
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  18. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry Authentic   

    Hey Kitrah, sorry you're having a tough time, especially with your family and friends. That, combined with money worries, is a heavy load to carry. I wish I had something helpful to offer. You seem to be thinking it all through very well. Maybe the best thing to do is try to stay patient, heal and get over your physical pain, and keep recording your options. At some point a new path will open for you to try out. Maybe that will be to move out of the US. Or maybe to another area or state. 
    Best wishes to you. I'll be thinking of you.
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  19. Kitrah added a blog entry in Kitrah   

    People wonder why it's hard to transition. Believing the lie is more convenient. I deal everyday with friends who refuse to change their mind because they are still hanging onto idea that who I really am is not what they believe. I think this like when people meet tv personality or movie star. That what the version is. 
    Why does it matter to me if other going validate or not. I think about this a lot. It matter because other people are saying it's irrelevant. This not big deal except when it's your friends and family. 
    Validation an area where some people say who care what people think, be yourself. But when being yourself seem to be counterproductive you just  mask the pain. 
    My situation also not great. Lack of money or work make things more difficult. This just adds to the stress by forcing me to be dependent on other people. And now after having surgery I'm more stressed because I can't lift anything and the pain really have left me a mess.  I think when I healed I just going to sell all my stuff, get a ticket and leave America. Met some new people and leave this and the people who are dragging me down.
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  20. bluemoon added a post in a topic HRT Doctor: "Why I Wish All of My Patients Were Transgender"   

    Wonderful piece... another great find, Emma. Thank you.
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  21. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Healthier life style.   

    There's definitely no such thing as too late . We always have the rest of our lives.
    I def find it easier to live healthier being out and transitioned - nothing like living authentically to get you to care more about your health!
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  22. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Healthier life style.
    First off, wish I’d thought of this earlier in life yet there is no bad time to start. I’ve been coloring my hair from dark brunette to blonde to dirty blonde and the consequences were thinning of hair but no hair loss (thank goodness).

    Decided it was time to combat the issue with vitamins and several hair mask and conditioners. It’s been one month now and have seen noticeable difference is the health of my hair. Downside is on the weekend I spend an hour dedicated to pampering my hair.

    I’ve also started having a professional facial done once a week and have noticed healthier skin.

    Couple the above with from fast food diet to one deal with meat a day with the rest salads and streamed vegetables.

    I think the above will pay dividends as time goes by with emphasis on leading a healthier life style.    

    Last but not least, since two more things, I never go out without a hat and sunglasses even when it’s not sunny. Maui Jim's prescription (progressives) sunglasses were my choice as I like the trial pair given to me along with testimonials from customers of more than ten years. Of course dependent on what I’m wearing I wear good sun block/screen lotion. 

    PS It's been over a year without any makeup other than a product which promotes healthy skin which has a slight makeup characteristic to it. 
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  23. EmmaSweet added a topic in Transgender Health Care   

    HRT Doctor: "Why I Wish All of My Patients Were Transgender"
    I came across this blog about a month ago, which is by an endocrinologist who writes about his experiences in practice. From what I can tell it's mostly directed at fellow practitioners but it has a wealth of information for patients, too. Here's the post I found (and commented on) that I find so helpful and... hopeful:
    Why I Wish All My Patients Were Transgender
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  24. bluemoon added a comment on a blog entry Letter   

    Chrissy, so personal to happen with your sister and must hurt so much but her terrible limitation and loss.
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  25. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Letter   

    So sorry you had to experience that. I'm sure most of us live with the realization/fear of being rejected for our identity, and the actual experience of it, but to have it put to you so directly must be difficult.
    The closest I've come to this is with my sister - no letter, but a couple of phone calls and a text established that she didn't accept my gender identity, we don't speak anymore.
    I guess I would just try to remember that even though the person who sent you the letter referred to "others" being upset or offended, they were really only speaking for themselves. 
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