Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. 4EverYoung added a blog entry in Journey from Grit to Grace   

    10.31.17 Tuesday
    (L)
    Good morning,
    I came in from taking son to school and Deedee was sitting at the dining table looking all pretty with a long sleeve white tshirt, jeans and her boots and hat on.  I wasn't expecting to see it when I came in the front door and I guess I sort of looked dazed (I mean, it was 8:15am, I was, and still am, half asleep).  She thought that I was not happy about her going to work that way, but it wasn't true, I was just surprised and not sure, in my half asleep state, what was going on.  I know I should expect her to begin dressing up more and more, but it is still sort of a jolt to my system when I see her that way.  I will get used to it, over time.  And, it is Halloween also, so later on, when I had woken up a little more, it occurred to me that today was the best day as any to go out dressed up when it is light outside.  So far, it has been at night, and in dark restaurants.  She looked good, as always.  I guess I can't say handsome anymore.  
    We are selling our house, and at the end of this month, we are going out on the road.  We don't know our destination, nor where our journey will take us.  This is a huge move, with lots of loose ends to tie up here, and I'm also leaving the area that my job is in, and taking it on the road, so if I have meetings I need to attend at the office, I'm trying to tie up all that stuff also.  Besides the usual move stuff; address forwarding, school papers for the boys, shot records from drs, packing what stuff we are not taking on the road, to be stored until after the first of the year, selling the things that we can before we leave.  My mind is full of stuff to do, besides the usual stuff, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, etc.  Yesterday, Deedee and I had a little disagreement about starting the HRT.  She came to me and said, I made an appt at a doctor for next week.  I thought we were going through this journey together, so that was shocking to me, that she would make an appt without asking me, or figuring out a babysitter for the boys, etc.  So I simply said, I thought we were doing this together? She took that to mean that I was against the whole idea.  I simply asked a question, and then I wanted to voice my concerns that considering I already have so many things on my plate that it would be better for my sanity if we waited until after our road trip, possibly the beginning of the year, to find a Dr and begin it then.  I can only handle so many things, emotionally, physically.  I was called selfish though, so I let it go.  After talking about it for a few hours, over the course of dinner time and getting kids to bed, I guess going to the appt isn't all bad.  Even if they give her the meds that day (which I doubt), at least it is a start.  We will find out the dosage course, and then look to transfer to another facility up north when we get there.  I will have to just watch myself even more to stay on an even level with my emotions, and not think too much when/if she gets overly aggressive or mean.  I already deal with a 5 yr old with ADHD and a 1 yr old that thinks everything is his, and screams bloody murder if he doesn't get what he wants.  If I turn off my emotions for a few months, its all good.  Momma is saving her sanity...
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  2. 4EverYoung added a blog entry in Journey from Grit to Grace   

    Came out to a Best friend today
    Today Was a good day,   came out to a dear friend and.   Still have and probably will for a while have some ups and down with the wifey mainly because the fear of loosing her man but hey she's gaining a woman.   I know i need to assure her that I am not going anywhere and I will always be here.    This blog will be full of our thoughts about transition.   I made the appointment today to get hormones.  I am debating wether or not to start them before or after our month long vacation before Christmas and new year.    I think I would like to start them as soon as I get them but L is afraid I will ruin the Holidays with teenage puberty.    I don't think I will,  I think it could be a beautiful time with the Children and L in the mountains as I begin the journey to womanhood.     I actually felt a flutter in my stomach after the appointment as made.    I think its really going to happen and I am going to free the inner Beauty I used to call her Erica when I was younger but I have found it easier to go by DEE DEE since those are my initials. whichever name I choose to keep is our decision and no one else.    I will be happy when I have breast growth and when my hair and face are more feminine and I will be so thrilled the day I can have this headache removed from between my legs.   That day will come.   I know it will.    I hate my male genitals; I have hated them for years.   They serve a purpose and that was to make babies and we did we made 2 awesome boys.   Daddymommy needs to be freed of the enslavement of this meat mass.    this is just how I am feeling today.   I sure hope L post something later.    
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  3. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Came out to a Best friend today   

    I thought your name was DeeDee. Am I incorrect? My middle name is actually Joy! 
    About starting HRT: I am going to assume that your doctor is going to do what mine did, and that is to start you on a low dose for a couple of months. You'll then have a blood test to see where your estrogen and testosterone levels are, which is a baseline reading they use to determine what dose to go to next. For me I did experience a little euphoria with the start of HRT (I started just under two months ago) but nothing like teenage emotions or puberty. All changes are minimal at best. 
    About your wife: the order of the day is patience with her. This change of yours is huge for her. It's big for you too of course but you've been living in your mind and body with your feelings for so long. It may be best for her peace of mind (and your marriage) to start the HRT after vacation. What's another month?
    Emma
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  4. Emma added a post in a topic Judge blocks enforcement of Trump's transgender military ban   

    Isn't that GREAT! I hereby nominate Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly for the Supreme Court!
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  5. olcharlie added a topic in Transgender Rights & Political Activism   

    Judge blocks enforcement of Trump's transgender military ban
    By Ariane de Vogue, CNN Supreme Court Reporter
    Updated 3:17 PM ET, Mon October 30, 2017
     
     
    Washington (CNN)A federal judge on Monday partially blocked enforcement of key provisions of President Donald Trump's memorandum banning transgender people serving in the military.
    Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly blocked provisions of the memorandum concerning the enlistment and retention of transgender military service members...More here: http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/30/politics/judge-blocks-trump-transgender-military-ban/index.html  
     
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  6. Emma added a comment on a blog entry It's Monday   

    Hi DeeDee,
    Glad you found us! It is exciting to finally acknowledge and become our authentic selves, isn’t it? We are blessed to be living in this day and age when the tide is finally shifting toward tolerance, acceptance, and dare I say welcome of transgender people. 
    You look terrific in your photos!
    Emma
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  7. 4EverYoung added a blog entry in Journey from Grit to Grace   

    It's Monday
    Good Morning this is DeeDee.    
     
     
    I was about 5 years old when I first felt like a girl in a boys body.  My mom and Dad knew something was different with me but due to their extreme religious beliefs they were unable to see that I was just a Girl trapped in a boys Body.    I spent many years growing up wearing my sisters clothes in secret and even repressing the feelings of femininity. Then I went through boy puberty and found my penis,  don't get me wrong I had fun with it but fun and true joy are two different things.    anyway well touch on all that another day.  I am 40 years old now and I am beginning transition.   
     
    1. understand this is the real deal and not a fantasy
    2. have the support of my wife who is my life and means the world to me
    3. begin hormones
    4. start dressing full time.
     
    wow so much to begin and I am excited.   6 we






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  8. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Forward   

    Hello and welcome,
    Your partner is so very fortunate to have you as theirs. So many spouses cannot handle the transitions that you she are doing. I think it will be terrific to read your blog. Hopefully we will provide feedback and comments that will help you both.
    I’m a bit older than you. At 61 I’ve only come to terms with my being transgender over the past 3-4 years. My dear wife of 21 years and I will be divorced by the end of this year. She supports, understands, and loves me, but emotionally she can’t deal with my being trans. I’ve moved, and started my HRT about two months ago. 
    It is so scary to come into yourself as a woman. What style am I? Am I appropriate? What fits? !!!
    I love hearing how you support each other. 
    Hugs,
    Emma
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  9. 4EverYoung added a blog entry in Journey from Grit to Grace   

    Forward
    Good evening,
    My husband and I decided to start this blog to track our journey.  Here is a little back story.  We have known each other since 1991.  I was 13 at the time, and he was 15.  There was attraction on both our parts from first sight.  We somehow can't stay away from each other  ​ We love spending time together, mostly driving out on the open road.  We have 2 young boys, and they are definitely a huge part of our lives.  Our baby is 1.5 years old, so we took time to get him through the baby stages, and when we confident that these 2 boys completed our family, the journey into my husband feeling more comfortable in his skin could start to transpire.  It wasn't like we planned it that way.  Since the boys arent quite as needy as they were, about 6 months ago, we started putting ourselves, and our relationship, to the forefront of our every-day.  We would spend hours talking after the boys went to bed, and it was then that we learned so much more about each other.  This talking brought out his feelings about how uncomfortable he was in his body.  I, of course, want him to be confident and comfortable,  no matter what, or who, that is.  I love him for him, period.  
    Slowly, over the past like 5-6 weeks, he has begun to dress more as a woman, and is becoming more confident going out in public.  He wants to go all the way, so that is the ultimate goal, no matter how long it takes to get there.  The process of telling our 5 year old has been slow and steady.  He is becoming more and more comfortable with it, and even him and Daddy went into a convenience store the other night, while Daddy was dressed, and neither one were embarrassed! It is a huge step!
    This blog will be both of us writing, as we feel something that needs to be shared, or documented, for our journey.  If I am writing, I will put an "L" to let the reader know it is from my perspective.
    We are excited what the future will hold and look forward to this blog filling up quickly lol.  Goodnight for now. "L"
     
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  10. MichelleLea added a blog entry in Random thoughts and ideas   

    House and Garden
    I had a few things on my "to-do" list today, but putting the house back together and doing yard work were priorities. AFLAC had almost completely taken over the dining room area, and that had to come to an end. As I wrote last night, I have  decided to use an excel spreadsheet to manage my prospecting, and am in the process of inputting all my business contacts. The sum total of my progress in that area, except for a few entries last night, is to move all the stuff from the dining room into the den. So now, I'm sitting with piles of stuff in the den which I guess is an improvement of sorts. At least it's out of direct site should anyone come to visit. Actually, my neighbor, Jeanie, is the only one who comes, and that's to let the dogs out. Anyway, it looks better for me to look at.
    So then, while I'm cleaning the living room, I decided it was time to do some rearranging there. I have always thought that our recliners are way too far back from the TV, so I figured out a way to move them closer without having to redo the whole room. It came out well, not that I watch TV anymore. I had one casualty when I moved the couch. It was backed up against the wall, and the paint stuck to the leather and came off with it. We were without power for a week during the hurricane, and the humidity must have weakened the paint. It is out of sight for the time being. Another project. Oh,and I put the leaf back in the dinette table where I eat, so now I have more room there. In the afternoon, I tackled the yard. The arica palms in the front need constant maintenance to keep them at a reasonable height. And the oleander needed some work. And there is always weeding. I like living in Florida, but everything grows all the time, and it's really a challenge at times to stay on top of it.
    I have a busy week ahead. Hope something pops. I have low expectations. I well keep on keeping on.
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  11. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Michelle Time   

    Hey there, nice post and photo! The photo is upside down of course so I had to carefully turn my iPad so I could view the image without it spinning back around!
    I had this same problem the other day when I wrote about my new license plate. Eventually I learned that one has to flip the image upside down and save it that way. Use that file for your post and... voila! The photo is presented correctly.
    Good luck with the storm,
    Emma
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  12. MichelleLea added a blog entry in Random thoughts and ideas   

    Michelle Time
    It is a dark and stormy night--couldn't resist. We have another system moving in which is expected, as far as I can tell, to bring some wind and rain. It really doesn't sound too unusual for south Florida, but my neighbor had to warn me that I had better pick up my yard.  I'm really not going to get too shook about it. I think Chris just is an alarmist. And while I'm on the subject, another thing about Chris. He's a nice guy, and I like him, but he is somewhat of a gas bag. If you tell him how you did something, he will tell you that it was wrong, and then proceed to tell you how it should be done. Anymore, it just let it go in one ear and out the other. I know what works for me. Sue wasn't crazy about him because he was all talk and very little action. Besides, his yard is not kept up, and Sue was big on appearances. She actually was like Hyacinth in the British TV show Keeping Up Appearances , a show she really liked.
    It's raining hard now. Getting the dogs out will be a challenge tonight. Hopefully, we won't lose power. Right now, we're all huddled in the den, cozy, safe, and dry. I did my weekly grocery shopping and lawn mowing this morning before the rains started. This afternoon, I started to organize all the piles of notes and business cards and assorted papers that have taken over every unclaimed space in the kitchen/dining area. As Bette Davis would say: "What a dump!" Despite what my instructor said abo ut the simplicity of using 3X5 cards to organize business contacts, it is just not working for me. I am going to use an Excel spreadsheet and be done with chasing all this paper. Once set up, I will have an easy record of my contact history and can print one sheet of paper when I visit businesses again. That is my plan anyway. We'll see if it is less cumbersome than the paper trail.
    So, I did manage to finally get in the shower and get cleaned up and do a little grooming. Nails need cutting periodically, you know. I painted my toenails a while back, and I'm letting them grow out. Now I have about a 3/4 paint job on my nails. I'm sort of using it as an experiment to see how fast my nails grow. I've heard that good nail growth is a sign of good health. I'm not sure what good hail growth is, but they are growing, so I guess that's a good sign. Beyond that, I didn't get overly dressed up tonight. Work has been so all-consuming that I haven't felt very "femme" of late. In truth, I haven't had time to feel much of anything. So, maybe it's time to give it a rest. I do feel that I should do something--this is a transgender website after all. I was sort of femme today with my part-colored toenails and  ladies flipflops. I wore a beaded necklace and bracelet with a men's shirt and jeans. A little of both--girls do all the time, so why can't I. I am a CD, darn it. I'll see who's in the chatroom tonight. It has been very quiet of late.

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  13. MichelleLea added a blog entry in Random thoughts and ideas   

    TW3 #4
    This was a busy week, but lately, aren't they all? AFLAC was running a contest to kick start the quarter, so we were all encouraged to go out there and rack up some good numbers. The ones who reached a certain level would be invited to a fancy downtown bar--Blue Martini--this coming Monday. I was a little handicapped since I had a full day of training on Tuesday, and another hald a day training on Thursday. Additionally, on Monday I worked with someone else which was a little different for me. Kathy has been in the business a little bit longer than me and is just starting to make some headway. She is sharp and has a good approach, although she is much more analytical than I am and is more selective of the businesses she calls on. I may get that way, but right now I don't do much discriminating. Pretty much, if it's got a door, I'll go in. Still, we ended the day with 53 approaches and one appointment set. 
    Wednesday, after my second time through Level 1 sales school, I really pounded the pavement and made 79 approaches and set 7 business appointments and 1 direct sale appointment. As some of you may know, sales is an up and down deal. On  Thursday, after my morning training, I went out and made 43 approaches and came up empty-handed. i even went downhill as I lost one of the appointments I had previously set--I wasn't terribly disapponted in this one as it was pretty iffy to start with. My boss gave me some encouraging words last night, and I bounced back with 23 approaches today and 4 appointments set. Kathy also did an employer presentation for me which went well. Hopefully, it will translate into some enrollments and get me on the board.
    So, this weekend I will catch my breath and get myself organized the for comng week. I have 10 appointments with employers and Kathy and my boss Rich are going to do them for me. I haven't been to Level 2 training yet, so I don't know enought to do them on my own. I will have a lot more leeway when I can make my own presentations. So, little by little I seem to be getting there. It does take time and there is a lot to learn. In due time. BTW, I am invited to the Blue Martini on Monday. I don't drink anymore, but hopefully the food will be good. I will try to post the picture that was taken at training. I put it on facebook and have gotten a lot of likes and comments.

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  14. EShaver added a post in a topic Annual Transgender Events   

    Lori, and everyone else , this is really a JAM Packed one day event that really has the power of being a TWO day event . We went from 200 to 400 in just one year once word got out about this .
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  15. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    You both raise excellent points, thank you. As I ponder this more I suspect that as I’m still so early in my transition that I’m a little shy about unequivocally believing and stating that I am a woman. All I can say is I’m Working On It! 
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  16. Lori added a post in a topic Annual Transgender Events   

    Thank  you  Ellen. I added the Virginia TIES event, and I found a Youtube video from the 2016 event. Looks like a nice summit.  
     
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  17. MichelleLea added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    Hi Chrissy and Emma,
    First of all, kudos to Chrissy for her role as organizer/moderator of such an important topic. I enjoyed your discussion although I was at a disadvantage of not having seen the videos. What it means to be a woman is probably at the heart of feminism and being trans. In my way of thinking, a woman is a woman, no matter the way she got that way. And yes, as a former English teacher, language does evolve or we'd still be speaking old English or something even less understandable to us moderns.
    This whole line of thinking goes along with the article I just read about Hiroshi Ishiguro who is making autonomous human-like robots. His background is in art, and he considers himself an artist who creates and represents what he observes and feels--in this case, what makes a human, a human.  His robots are getting so close to acting and responding like people. This is deep and heavy stuff to be sure. But what is the essence of a woman, or a man, or a human being for that matter? For now, I have to say, we are who we are, and leave it at that.
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  18. EShaver added a post in a topic Annual Transgender Events   

    ​Lori, Equality Virginia hosts a one day Health conference and show known as Virginia TIES  the 3rd week of October at Virginia Commonwealth University . This year celebrated it's 4th year and once again , I was a volunteer to this event . Next year , I am slated to do a class in what to wear at an interview . This will have several models showing attire fit for a work place interview and how to dress one's age .
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  19. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    I've definitely moved around on that one - from being fine with transgender woman, to trying to ignore the transgender part - where I am now is that I am a woman, and I am transgender. I personally don't want to have the transgender or trans put in front of the woman. To me I think it suggests some "other" type of woman in a way that other modifiers don't do (like talking about someone as "white woman" or a "black woman" is never thought of as suggesting that they aren't women, just a particular intersection - putting "trans" in front feels like it suggests that we are somehow less than a woman - and people like Jenni Murray reinforce that feeling).
    I think that's reinforced by the idea that - as opposed to "white woman" or "black woman," you don't hear people talking about being a "cisgender woman" (I mean you do hear the term, but few people would just randomly say it).
    I was actually going to use that very point in response to her comments too - the fact that I don't want to be referred to as a "transgender woman" doesn't mean that I'll object to an organization using that term where it's appropriate - I might ask them not to refer to me that way, but I understand that it is an accepted term.
    One of the better responses in our discussion to JM's complaint about language - and this applies to other (usually conservative) people who complain about new terms, is that "that's what language does! It evolves!" Which is so very true, language changes and adapts to new situations or new ways of thinking, and that's a very good thing, even if it gets a little confusing sometimes :-)
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  20. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    Hi Chrissy, good points, thank you. I must admit I’ve also considered: am I a woman or a trans woman? Some months ago I told a friend that I’m a trans woman. But then, what is a trans woman? For me it’s someone who was always a female in her heart but was raised as male. Recently though in thinking about this some more I decided that indeed I am a woman, a special kind of woman, a trans woman. 
    That may sound confusing to some, it is a bit for me! I’d love to hear your thoughts.
    Emma
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  21. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    Emma,
    I have to say I disagree in part about Jenni Murray. I don't disagree about her specific point about the language, but she was being a little deceptive with what she was doing. The point started with talking about the BMA using "pregnant people" instead of "pregnant women," and she made it sound like she was being expected to refer to herself that way, but that simply wasn't the case. The BMA was trying to find language that would cover everyone they were working with, they were mandating that all pregnant people be referred to that way. So at best her point was simply stupid, at worst is demagogic in that she probably very well knew what she was doing right there.
    I agree as far as the vicar, she might very well have been in an early stage of transition in which - some/many - of us do focus a lot on clothing and make-up. Her thoughts on women's place in the church were really unrelated to her own gender identity - which is true of anyone, the fact that I'm a woman doesn't mean that I now understand every issue relevant to women.
    A bigger take-away for me, in watching the Jenni Murray video and then immediately the little girl (Tuesday was the first time I actually watched them back-to-back) was thinking about how happy the girl is now and how JM would want to take that away from her. Beyond any specific thing she said that makes her overall commentary very cruel.
    xoxo
    Chrissy
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  22. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Feminist Event - follow-up   

    Excellent, Chrissy! Good for you on all of it. I hope you feel terrific about yourself. Also, I hope that you become closer friends with the women in your group.  I watched the videos, thanks very much for those, too. Here's some thoughts:
    Jenni Murray: She wasn't nearly as "TERF-y" as I expected. I tend to agree with her considerations about the words, such as "chest cancer" instead of breast cancer. She sounded reasonable but also uninformed. Sure, the vicar's response to her question was odd but I suppose she's still processing so much about what to do for her parishioners, how to present herself authentically. In fairness, the vicar was raised as a male so perhaps isn't as cognizant as he probably should be about women's positions and rights. I will say I'm disappointed to hear that Jenni's opinions are based on such a small sample size.
    Girl with cards: She is a sweetheart isn't she? I loved watching her story. She's on the right track and all I can say is good for her. I'm envious!
    Lee Mokobe: wonderful!
    Janet Mock: she's so beautiful and articulate. I read her book too and loved it. Her video was a perfect one for your meeting. Her authenticity is so undeniable. She's a woman, simple as that. 
    I'm so happy for you Chrissy!
    Emma
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  23. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Feminist Event - follow-up
    Last night the feminist group I belong to had a discussion about trans issues in the feminist movement - I was the organizer/moderator of the event.  The event was titled "Are Trans Women Real Women?" (the title was intentionally provocative with an obvious "YES" answer).
    I was pretty nervous going in - public speaking isn't really my thing, or at least hadn't been - the group organizer asked me, before anyone else was there, if I was nervous - I said "Yes." But I also said that it would pass as soon as I started talking. I realized later what a change that was - in the past I would have been nervous until it was over, not just until I started talking. But that is what happened, my anxiety peaked right as she introduced me, and then passed immediately. The rest of the way was pretty easy going. We played 4 short videos, the first was from a TERF (just so that they're perspective was shown) and then 3 trans people (the video links are below - the 2nd one is so incredibly moving, I still can't watch it without crying). They we had people pair off to discuss the question "What is a woman?"  Then we came back together as a group and talked for about an hour.
    So that put me in an interesting place - I was the only trans person present, and I was the moderator. So early on in particular I tried to hang back and let other people talk, even when I had a clear answer to a question or point. That worked nicely, there was a lot of value in letting the group work through issues that they hadn't before. The question proved particularly good as it was one that most people hadn't thought about before ("What is a woman?"). One person acknowledged that she probably had always gone through life without a definition but with a "I know it when I see it" belief.
    It's a really good group, we always have good discussions, and I think some good came of this, particularly in terms of people having a better understanding of trans issues and cisgender privilege. They even came to recognize that by even having to have this discussion suggests that the feminist movement is largely a cisgender movement (in addition to being a white movement).
    On a personal note, I'm thrilled at having done this. It's one more thing that I would never have thought about doing pre-transition, and now not only did I do it, but I want to do more of it.
    xoxo
    Chrissy
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLG6rqN8vjU (Jenni Murray)https://youtu.be/E0v_idyvjco (girl with cards)https://youtu.be/S8DwxjDrNNM (Lee Mokobe)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsowxKx_-_c (Janet Mock)
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  24. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Cleaning Up Loose Ends   

    I was going to say, I know I work much harder now than I did in my 20s :-)  Because I actually care about what I'm doing
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  25. Lori added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    Transgender News Channel
    TGGuide.com is now operating Transgender News Channel on Facebook, posting the latest breaking news affecting the worldwide transgender community. Please give us a like. Your feedback will be appreciated. 
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