Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. Lori added a comment on a blog entry A good day   

    I hope your days continue going well and that everything works out for you.  
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  2. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    I agree with Emma, being trans is hard. My doctor once said to me that being trans and undergoing GCS is similar to being an astronaut. Not one of us asked for this but here it is and we either deal with it or not.
    Something I truly believe in regarding being trans, even if it does not seem possible one of the best things you can do is say to yourself "I have bad and good day, what should I do to change it?" For me it study, study, study for a better life monetary wise e.g. from under $20,000 a year  salary to over $100,000 a year w/o college salary. I studied over 10 hours a day for 12 months and then searched for employment which landed me a job on the opposite coast where it's very trans accepting for the most part. My point here is if you put your mind to it anything is possible. One of the number one toxic issues with trans people is their current living environment and with a strong will and determination your life can drastically improve. I look at my brother, he is not trans but had the same education as me and makes half the salary I do. Perhaps being trans can make someone stronger if they truly make up their mind to not let it get them down.
    So a person put up a sign "I SEE YOU", for the average trans person that is a red flag. Time to consider a move and if that is not possible at the present time, start a plan to do so while in the mean time be on guard for physical violence. On a up note, generally speaking one person putting up such a sign is usually not a threat but if they have a group of like minded people that is a huge concern as group violence is easier to justify while one on one is much more difficult to justify in general.
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  3. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   

    ​Hi Monica, I agree in regards to living in a place that give you many opportunities.
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  4. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   

    ​I truly believe the average person who goes through surgery and lives life as they should have will (as it did with me) take time to realize these things, it's a great feeling. If nothing else, I get out with a local group of crossdressers once a month and recently been pushing to have them get out of their comfort zone. Why do I mention this? Because when the day comes after your transition if possible it's a decent idea to mentor someone who has walked in your shoes.
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  5. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   


    Thanks Emma! Regarding the Rose City Girls member in the lower right-hand corner of the phot, I don’t know her name, only met her twice before. They are a very active group but I don’t get out with them much simply because they are generally doing things during the week were it’s an hour drive each way for me. Cass the leader of the group comes down to Salem on the third Saturday of each month to join in with a local group in Salem and we have a great time Cass is and great and interesting person who does all of the organization for the group. Last Halloween she opened her home to the group, supplied everything along with allowing anyone to stay overnight so they didn’t have to worry about driving home because of drinking or (as 99 percent are) they are crossdressers that have a hard time sneaking back home.

    Regarding electrolysis, if the person performing this on you is not using the blend technique you might ask them about it. For me it was less painful. The kicker is that the blend technique is not the best for every single area of the face. My technician had two machines and would switch between them depending on what part of my face she was working on. What I thought was interesting is that the face is actually more painful then between the legs, at least for me.

    Over the past year I’ve had my underarms done (well 90 percent) and going back in May to finish up. Had to stop because of a) shifting job positions at my workplace of 22 years, got disgusted with it and jumped ship to another agency one block away and with that had to put the underarms to the side.

    In regards to having GCS, it’s always been my believe that it’s not for everyone.  If my dysphoria was not so bad I would had foregone surgery and breast augmentation and with that placed the money in the bank for retirement yet I could not live life without those surgeries.

    Several weeks ago I crossdresser told several of us she was wondering why she even dressed anymore as she believes she is fine not crossdressing after doing so for over ten years.

    I know several others who are borderline in regards to GCS and encourage them to take it slow as we all know you can’t reverse the surgery.

    Going the route you are sounds like an excellent path.

    PS I was wanting to meet you when there for surgery.

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  6. Kitrah added a blog entry in Kitrah   

    A good day
    Today been good day so far. I haven’t had anxiety attack or depression. So that’s good. I decide to paint my nails so I’m feeling good. I don’t no why that guy put that sign in his window. I try not pay attention to thing like that but it was hard to miss it take up the whole window. So I worried about it but nothing happen. Maybe it the same person who put the orange in the yard. But yea this things are scary because I don’t know what they going do and if they stalk me online. It’s not fun and that why I don’t wear the dresses outside. I think I’m going make chicken tonight. 
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  7. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    The money situation prevent that.
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  8. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    That would be very frightening. Perhaps you should move elsewhere?
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  9. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    After writing about get the mail someone put sign in the window of apt in front of mailbox that sat I SEE YOU. This what I deal with. It just do more on anxiety
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  10. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Experiences   

    Being transgender is hard. Same with being different, gay, having a disability, a chronic illness, and other things that are outside of what society expects or feels comfortable with. So, you’re not alone feeling the way you are. That doesn’t help much but at least you know that, I hope.
    So, what does help? It’s impossible to be very specific. Even if I knew you well and in person. But there are some things to think about, such as:
    - When we’re depressed a natural tendency is to want to be alone and isolated. That seems good because at least things won’t get worse. And, without dealing with others you don’t lose control. But really, we need the opposite of that. We need people. Even just sitting in a coffee shop, alone with a book, is better than being home alone.
    - Exercise also helps. Just walking is fine, even in the rain (with an umbrella). Go walk for an hour or two. If that’s too much, go for 10 minutes every day for 5 days, then 20, 30, 45... Look around and notice things while you walk. 
    - Having gratitude also helps. My therapist suggested I create an “Awe List” of things that I notice that I find inspiring. Like a beautiful tree or flower. Today, while I was waiting for a stoplight to change, a woman driver turned the corner near me and smiled at me. I suppose she recognized me as a trans woman, and smiled in encouragement. I loved it and saved it in my Awe List. 
    - Eat good, fresh things, not soda and fast food. Bananas are great, or any fruits. Salads are good too, as is a nice burger. Just go easy on the fries.
    - Get to bed early and sleep 8-9 hours every night. If you’re exercising and eating well it’s easier to sleep well.
    This isn’t a magical solution. I get depressed and I try these things and am still depressed. But I do think they help.
    Emma
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  11. Kitrah added a blog entry in Kitrah   

    Experiences
    sometime I wish my experience wasn’t what it is. It make me uncomfortable and isolated. But it also make me think this way. There so many time I wish I had better life and get to just be who I’m. 
    So I try fix this. Same puzzle it don’t change and same missing pieces. No matter how many time put together. All I can do is imagine. What this look like. Fill in details and stare at what’s there.
    I try fit in society. Try live peaceful and not get upset. All I can do try. But when ppl can’t see it, it frustrate me. I get anxiety at times I can’t even get the mail or I just avoid social situation that might upset me. 
    I feel lost and I no I’m become problem for society. I’m not going have nice things or car or own place. So all I can do is think this isn’t happening. I no inside things r not good but It really hurt my family not there. 
    I want better life but I can’t see way to go there. That why when time I start see changes. It make me confident. I try to be fixed and have new life cuz this have been the only thing I did for myself. 
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  12. MonicaPz added a post in a topic Pinterest and other social media   

    Friends,
    Feel VERY UNSAFE on social media, no matter what they say. Seek out trusted websites such as TGGuide instead. Have been betrayed on social media many times.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  13. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic Pinterest and other social media   

    I can't help but think that someone "reported" your Pinterest boards...  someone so et up with bigotry and transphobia they felt it was their duty (and god-given right    ) to make sure that people like us don't destroy their little corner of the internet and don't infect the "normal people."    Happens on FB quite a bit - every time I turn around my g/f is telling me about gay men who have been bounced.   I see no reason to believe that Pinterest isn't the same.  I agree with Emma - write (snail mail) those people and [nicely] ask for an explanation.
    ::: grumbles :::
    Just one more reason I don't do social media....
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  14. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic New Rule Allows Discrimination   

    "I wonder if a trans doctor refused to care for an anti-lgbt patient if they would also find protection under this law"  -- Bree
    You're probably right - it's likely the doctor wouldn't have a leg to stand on.  But people should consider this.  This is what happened to the late Robert Eads - he died of ovarian cancer because no [cisgender] doctor would treat him.  
    Current events are no doubt rolling back advancements left and right.  It's sad that Drumpf's hatred of our previous president is so blinding, that he's willing (and without losing any sleep - obviously) to sacrifice the safety and well-being of so many people.  And PROUD of what he's doing, to boot!
    It was apparently made illegal under Obama-care to discriminate against trans patients in federally funded healthcare programs... but is that still the case now with this "new rule?"
    Here's an article from 2012 recounting several cases where care was either abruptly stopped or flat out denied when it was discovered that the patients were transgender.  And in the case of the late Jay Kallio, a diagnosis of breast cancer was kept from him due to transphobia, hatred, bigotry, ignorance.  Yes, you read that right - HE WAS NOT TOLD HE HAD CANCER!!
    We could be returning to just such an era...
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  15. Lori added a comment on a blog entry Time.......   

    Same here. Plenty of similarities. I went through the same exploration when I was younger, followed by parental disapproval and futile attempts to repress my identity. I had a family and career and just tried to dismiss it. Eventually my inner identity could no longer be denied. Fortunately, I have managed to maintain a good relationship with my children and with my now ex-spouse. Wishing you the best as you explore your gender identity.
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  16. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Time.......   

    Hey Christy,
    You’re story really resonated with me. Mine’s different of course but the parallels are amazing. Yes, please keep writing.
    Emma
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  17. Christy added a blog entry in Christy   

    Time.......

    Hello all this is my story......I need to get it out.
    One of the first memories I have (regarding my gender) is playing in the stair well of the apartment complex which had 3 levels and a wall of glass looking outside. We were making up stories and playing them out by choosing characters and I reallllllllly wanted to be the mermaid. I was 5 years old. Everyone played and we had a lot of fun, girls and boys. We continued to play this way for the summer on and off, but each time we played I wanted to be a female character and sometimes argued with the girls over it. Only one time did I concede the role I wanted to another girl and that was only because the boys started making fun of me. As we played these roles over time the girls started dressing up for their characters and well...I started borrowing their clothes or costumes and I really enjoyed it. I didn't really think any think of it, we were just having fun. That was one of the first memories. The years went bye and I still wanted to be the girl, wearing girl stuff when I could. So, I did. Then the ridicule from others started to gain momentum (boys and girls) so I started keeping thing to myself more & more. I was about 8-9 and I remember sitting in the bathroom for long periods of time wishing I had a vagina and hating my penis. That’s when I learned how to take my boy parts and make them look like girl parts. Always wishing they would just stay that way but they never would. I would lift the testis up in the pockets, push the penis back into my body and pull the scrotum up and over everything. Then shape the scrotum to look like a vagina. It actually looked pretty good and relieved my dysphoria. (although I didn’t know it at the time) That’s when I swiped a pair of pantyhose from the laundry pile and put them on one night after dinner. My mom thought it was cute and allowed me to wear them while we watched TV. I love it!!!! I love the feeling on my skin and the way it made me feel inside. I was just a little closer to being a girl than ever before. I liked it so much that I started wearing my sister’s clothes as well and asking my mom to put make up on me, so she did. After some time that is how I dressed whenever I could and I would sleep in girl clothes if given the opportunity. Then one day that was it…..I was told that this is not appropriate and I could not dress like a girl anymore. I was very upset and didn’t see what the big deal was. I guess someone saw me and then ask my parent about it so they made up some story and put the brakes on all of it. So, they thought……. I just went underground with my dressing and loved it. I would put on my little sister’s gymnastics outfit (leggings & bodysuit) and fall asleep almost every night wishing I would magically turn into a girl the next day. Over and over and over again. I just kept acquiring more things to wear over the years and making sure to hide them well. My dad did kind of catch me once but he didn’t really see what I was doing and we never spoke of it. Whsheww… This went on until I was about 14-15 and then I really started ramping up things. Also on the outside I was a cute boy with lots of girlfriends, I was having a lot of fun in life. I guess I thought this would pass or I would just keep it a secret forever. Nobody needs to know that I like this stuff. Well My mom started working again so I found myself home alone almost everyday for at least 2 hrs. That is when I started dressing all the way. I had just a bit of hair on my legs so I shaved them. I was completely dressed as a girl from shoes to hair & makeup. I would do this every chance I could, keeping it very very quite. Until one day I just had to go out into the world and I wasn’t even aware why I felt this way. I just had to do it. So I went out to get the mail and came back in. It was so exciting and I thought that even if someone saw me they would never know it was ME. Well someone did see me and asked my mom about it and then…she asked me. Soooo, I lied my way around that one as well, I felt terrible, ashamed and scared. So back in the closet again little girl…away with you. I was really good at sports and decided to focus all my attention on that as well as girls. (I just loved the girls so cute) I had to ask myself if I was gay or not…but if I liked girls and not boys (sexually) what the hell is going on. This must be a phase or something. More time goes by and I never spot dressing in female clothes when I want to or when I can. All the time seemingly living a great cismale life. Sports, Collage, Social, etc. Then while I was working as a part time personal trainer some friends decided to move out to LA. One of the guys going backed out and they asked me. I said yes and pack up my stuff. At the age of 20 I found myself in a whole new world that was exciting and scary. I won’t go into the details but I started wearing female underwear and well you get it. Still hiding. I made the decision that there is nothing weird about it and lots of rockers were wearing makeup. That is when I started to transition and it felt really great until my friends started questioning me and at other times making fun of the LBGT community. I was freaking out and instead of going forward I went the other way. I became super fit and shaped my body into something I could be proud of. I was trying to over compensate for the way I felt and I continued this for 15yrs.………Damnn. So now I have a wife and kids and time is not on my side. I thought many times that I will take it to the grave and years passed by. But it is always there. I have even come close to death a couple of times by trying to drink this away but…..nope. So, this past holiday season came to an end and I made the decision to move forward no matter what. The crazy thing is that after truly making this decision I have a sense of calm come over me. I am happier. I know there are going to be ups and downs but that is how life is, transgender or not. It has been a little over a month on herbals and only couple of days on HRT. I have noticed many small changes from my breasts, skin, hair, butt etc. and they feel correct. Well that is all I have time for now but I will be updating this blog on a regular basis.
    Thanks so much and remember live,love,Learn
    Christy
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  18. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry stalkers   

    hi girls. yes. i see a therapist and yes there aware of the issue. it changes little about how i feel about this things like the internet. that why i dont talk on voice or try share personal things. it does affect me deeply and im trying be more open but i cant go thru this again.sometime i want share a lot but i no that not alway best way.
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  19. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Thanks Monica,
    I guess by what you say is my ENERGY is female.  Neat!  Thanks.  love and kisses.  Dawn
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  20. Lori added a comment on a blog entry stalkers   

    There will always be a few people who don't like to see you move on. They may be envious of your success. Some may feel left out and need some help understanding. Some will have other motives. I agree on the helpfulness of qualified counseling and a plan to rid anything negative from your life.  
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  21. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Dear Dawn,
    In my opinion, people are responding to people's ENERGY, rather than their looks. This is why women disguised as men, and vice versa, rarely get away with it.
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  22. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry stalkers   

    Dear Kitrah,
    TGGuide is VERY SAFE, because it is tightly moderated by kind, sensitive and caring moderators, EVERY DAY.
    Agree with Emma about therapy, but make sure you are comfortable with your therapist, and that they are TRUSTWORTHY. You may want to give him or her a heads up that there are people trying to get into your business by calling your doctors and therapists. My brothers tried to do this to me, and my doctors and therapists had to tell them if they continued to call them, they would call the police. Upon hearing that, they stopped!
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
     
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  23. Lori added a post in a topic Pinterest and other social media   

    One option on Facebook is to create a page using your "real" profile. You can name the new Facebook page anything you want including a personal name. Authors and entertainers frequently use this feature. So, using a real Facebook account you create a page and name it something like "Cruella DeVille" and then you can like, comment and share things as your page rather than your real Facebook profile. ​
    Facebook seems pretty comfortable with transgender topics even though they have not been understanding about the need for pseudonyms among the trans community. ​
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  24. Emma added a comment on a blog entry stalkers   

    Dear Kitrah,
    One thing I sincerely promise: neither Transgender Guide nor I are stalking you in any way, shape, or form. I can't speak for everyone here but I'm quite confident they would say the same thing. 
    I think it might help to talk to a trusted third party such as a therapist, who is bound by law not to disclose any of your conversations with you with anyone other than you. You can freely talk about your fears, your evidence, and together, come up with a plan for how to put a stop to it. Withdrawal from the world is not a viable because even when we are alone we are still part of the world. People need each other to help and support each other. Here again you can make a step in this direction with a trusted therapist. I highly recommend that you find one in your area.
    My very best wishes,
    Emma
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  25. Kitrah added a blog entry in Kitrah   

    stalkers
    My mind never same. Ever since was stalked, my mind never open same way. im on alert alway looking for danger and try to make sure my ex who online dont know where im at or what i doing. almost 10 year of this now and when she thinking she going get in trouble now she just recruit her unerage daughter do it for her. things get quiet and then find myself want to share things and i cant. some ppl cant deal with u say no to them its just game me play hard to get. whatev. it terrorise me. im scared. it not fun. i cant go out. not my fault u life so bad but u have destroy me mental. my confidence in myself gone. your fake account and ex friend u use.. make sure i get nothing or no one. everone like just forget about it forget about u. but i no u still watching. u dont want no one have me. just say what u want make all them leave. so many time i wish u will go to prison. so many time i wish u will go to far. i cant have social media without u mess w it. thing so bad u do that fbi have to go see u. u just lie like u alway do. now when strange thing happen, ur the one im seeing. u all use me and my secret keep me do what u want but u break me. force me be girl im not ready be. say your not going tell no one. fuck u. now everone no. but i going get fix. im not prise u get to keep for being bad. u dont get have me. im not for u. im happy forget to no u. just let me go.
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