Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. Dawn13 added a post in a topic Pinterest and other social media   

    I still have a FB account as Dawn - but I made it inactive.  I wonder if there are any sites besides this one that are really Transgender friendly.  Bonnie mentioned a few sites she uses.  Dawn
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  2. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Monica you are the best and thanks for commenting as much as you do.  Seems like I always learn much from you.
    Latest trip and gender mix up.  I was at a Ross Store in GA ready to check out, in guy mode, and the female teller said I can help you over here Miss.  I thought she was talking to someone else and then I realized I was the only one there.  I checked out and am quite sure she thought I was a woman.  Then the next day while eating at an IHOP with friends the waitress said to me what can I get you ma'am, because I was with friends I corrected her saying "sir."  She repeated "sir" but when she came back she presented me my breakfast and said ma'am can I get you anything else.  This time I did not correct her as actually I was a bit flattered and later I checked the mirror to try to see what she saw.  Could be my chest/breasts are showing more (Was wearing a bra but straps were almost impossible to detect), earrings, hair, wore unisex clothing - still in acceptable unisex look. 
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  3. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Socializing   

    Dear Michelle Lea,
    Thank you for your concern. You, and my other friends here at TGGuide, keep me going.
    This Spring, I am visiting Burlington, VT. 
    Next, I will visit Seattle, WA, where I am also on the waitlist for public housing.
    Again, thank you for your support.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  4. MichelleLea added a comment on a blog entry Socializing   

    Monica, I hope you will be okay. I'm not sure what I can do to help, but let me know. At least, keep us up-to-date.
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  5. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Socializing   

    Dear Michelle Lea and Emma,
    When I lived in Tampa Bay, Florida, I had a wide variety of choices, both T/LGB and non-T/LGB, of activities.
    Now I live in a narrow-minded place, in upstate NY, even when they claim to be seeking members and volunteers, (this includes CHURCHES!), which never call you back, where the disabled and elderly stay in their homes for weeks and months at a time. 
    Presently I reach out on a one to one basis, and we have 2 social workers in my building who are trying to combat this.
    Am on the waitlist for Burlington VT and Seattle WA public housing. Am 60, and I am praying my health does not give out before I move.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  6. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   

    Dear Karen, Emma and Chantal,
    Not only have I heard this about those who successfully transitioned dropping out of the T/LGB community as they make associations based on common interests rather than seeking out others simply for transitioning, but I also see this among Lesbians, usually after they find a committed relationship.
    In the case of the transwoman, I think it is a HEALTHY reason, while in the case of the Lesbians, it is because of insecurity, because healthy relationships are so difficult to find.
    Living in a place that gives you MANY OPPORTUNITIES and CHOICES is key!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  7. Chantel added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   

    Thanks for sharing Karen. I have heard similar stories from other ladies too. I look forward to the day when I am post transition and hope I can say the same. Big hugs. X
     
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  8. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Socializing   

    Good for you on all counts. Especially that you decided to stay home. Even that is hard to do sometimes. It’s important to listen and respect our internal feelings and needs. Your psyche will appreciate it!
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  9. MichelleLea added a blog entry in Random thoughts and ideas   

    Socializing
    I attended my first "Chamber Chat" s yesterday morning. I was held at a local Jewish Center for disabled children, and about 40 people showed up--a decent number in my estimation. As expected, everyone was very friendly and welcoming, and I was able to visit at some length with at least six. I did meet a few more in passing. This is just one of the events that take place o a monthly basis, and I think it will not only eventually be good for my business, I think it will be good for me personally to be a little more social. On the suggestion of one of my fellow agents, I have been reading Endless Referrals by Bob Burg where I got the idea to join the Chamber in the first place. His approach is very low-key. Be interested in the other person and let them do the talking. Then follow up with a personalized thank you note which offers to refer business their way as able. I think this is the rapport building phase. It will take time, but I enjoyed the gathering. BTW, one of the members gave a tour of their facility. JAFCO is doing amazing work with disabled children and their families. I was impressed.
    On the other hand, my neighbor, Chris, invited me over tonight as I was out walking my dogs. He does invite me from time to time, and I was tempted to stop in for a few minutes. But it turned out to be a HUGE gathering, and I chickened out at the last minute. I am not feeling that great tonight, and besides, I think I would be a little overwhelmed and out of place. I don't think I'll be missed. And with that, I am going to take my two puppies and go to bed. And to all a good night!
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  10. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Two year anniversary   

    Congratulations, Karen. I agree that it's best to appreciate and learn from our more recent past and look forward to the future. There are always so many things that we would have done differently "had we only known" but that is the way life is, we don't know what we don't know. 
    I actually had dinner with the Rose City Girls last May. I am pretty sure I recognize the woman in the lower right of your photo but I can't recall her name. All were very nice and welcoming, and I seriously contemplated relocating to the Portland area,
    I've had opportunities to join similar groups in Seattle and I haven't. It's not that I look down upon or feel superior to crossdressers at all. As far as I'm concerned they have equal membership in the transgender community to any of us. I'd say it's more about having a common social ground. I love to get dressed up but I also feel comfortable and happy wearing skinny jeans and a top from REI, which I did last night to an annual women's clothing warehouse sale by a local consignment shop. (You wouldn't believe what I scored for $50!) We had wine and snacks before they cut the tape to open the race to the racks and tables.  Everyone was delightful to me before, during, and after. That's how I love living my life. I'm sure I don't pass particularly but that doesn't seem to matter.
    I remember when you were planning to go to Dr. Marci Bowers' office in Burlingame, how you'd planned it all out. It sounded pretty scary to me especially as I was still about a year away from even coming out as trans. I don't know if I'll need or opt for GCS. These days I'm more interested in my early  progress on HRT (I see my doc this Wednesday. Yay!) and getting through electrolysis. God, that's so painful for me. I am very well hydrated but each darned hair hurts like hell when she zaps it. Yesterday afternoon I was only able to stand it for an hour and a half (we'd had a 2.5 hour session planned) and I was bummed out about that. But, that opened up time for me to make it to the warehouse sale so it's all good.
    Take care and best wishes, Karen,
    Emma
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  11. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Two year anniversary
    It’s been exactly two years to the day since gender confirmation surgery. Looking back over the past two years I’ve notice as time rolls by (especially in the past six months) I’ve assimilated well into my new life.

    I have, and not a conscious decision becoming removed from online forums that focus on the LGBT community yet still locally involved with a group in town and in Portland. Why bring this up? Over the years I’ve heard that many who transition physically will distance themselves from the LGBT community and now from experience believe that (at least in my case) it’s not always distancing oneself from the community but simply settling into the new life. I’ve never been or will be that type of person who distances themselves from the community for any reasons other than subconscious reasons of feeling comfortable in my new life.

    Back at Christmas time I went on a dinner cruise (see image below) with a local Portland Oregon group known as the Rose City Girls where I’ve only met a handful before attending the dinner. I was amazed that at the girls I chatted with a dinner whom I had not met before all thought I was a cisgender female. One of the girls I met five or so years earlier didn’t even recognize me from five years ago until I told her and she said that I had changed a good deal and still was not sure I was that cross-dresser from years past. So that really confirms that I took the right path in life by making the decision to physically transition.

    Do I have any regrets? My thought had been, wish I had transitioned ten or more years ago yet what if I did, where would I be right now? Better not to think too much about this and simply move forward as the past is the past and nothing can change it. 

    Profession wise this month I went from a position at one state agency to another state agency one block down the road. Only the CIO know my former identity as she once worked at my former agency and had asked me two years ago to come work for them but the time was not right until the first of this month.

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  12. Chantel added a comment on a blog entry Breaking walls   

    Hi Emma, Having someone who is in or has gone through similar experiences is so important. I have often had to dealt with things on my own but I have always appreciated having someone to talk to.  
    I thought that being an older lady would mean that I would struggle with breast growth and my body would not feminise so easily but my experience so far has been quite good.  I have to accept that there are some things I cannot change but as long as people don't look too close I can pass and for that I am very grateful.  My other experience has been how kind and accepting of me as a female people are in general.  I don't know why but its really scary coming out to friends etc but the warmth I have received has been fantastic so don't be scared but don't put yourself into risky situations. Its just common sense and remember your a girl. The rules are different for girls.  Good luck. X
     
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  13. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Maybe   

    Dear Kitrah,
    Sorry to hear about how you’re feeling. I’ve been depressed and felt like that many times and it sucks. 
    I think it’s very common for trans people to wish to transition quickly and live our authentic lives. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just take a pill or something? I suppose you’ve heard that we bring along our emotional baggage when we transition. I sure have and wondered how much I’d bring. For me, I found that this is quite true. I’m certainly happier and more content living my authentic self but my emotional scars and thinking patterns remain. 
    Perhaps you can start dressing and presenting as the woman you are now? Or take a smaller step? Enjoy the coming out. It’s very liberating.
    Emma
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  14. Lori added a comment on a blog entry Getting on the bus 😱   

    Love the post!  My own test of my inner courage to live life on my terms came at the shopping malls. I loved shopping (more back then than now) so the mall seemed a great way to get exposure and experience interacting with the public in a somewhat safe setting. I'm surprised I was never stopped by mall security because some days I would show up and just drive around, park and then drive around some more, trying to summon the courage to get out and go inside. In the early days I frequently failed but I kept at it.  Eventually I made my way inside and  slowly developed my confidence. I was terrified when anyone looked at me and especially when someone engaged me in conversation. Occasionally I was read and that was always emotionally devastating for me. I know, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but it's a special gift I have -- to kick myself around for failure. There was some point along the way that I knew I had made it. Once I lost the fear and just became more confident the instances of being read were virtually eliminated. 
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  15. Lori added a comment on a blog entry Crazy   

    Whole lot of ground covered in that post. Stuff most of us go through to some extent as we come to terms with our gender identity.  There are a couple thoughts that came to my mind as I read. I've come to realize that most people are so absorbed in their own lives that they pay little attention to those around them. There will always be those who are negative, but try to surround yourself with positive people who can help you, rather than bring you down. You don't need many good friends. Even one will do, but having some kind of support network is critical. I had some mighty wonderful people who helped pick me up when I was at my lowest points in life. That happened to be about the same time as my transition but not entirely due to the transition. Try to keep a positive attitude and always move forward toward your goals. Hugs to you.
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  16. Kitrah added a blog entry in Kitrah   

    Maybe
    So I guess I been fighting flu maybe pneumonia for past few weeks and final starting to clear. I alway feel like something more to do but I been so tired. Just ended a friendship today. I’m tired of people giving this emotionless set of direction on what I need be doing. Rather than see myself go in circle against brick wall I just say I’m done. Don’t call no more. If u can’t be heard what the point. If your views so different why keep fighting. It been quiet rest of day. 
    The person I live w I can’t share thing with cuz they not listening half the time so it’s pretty much been bad day. I realize I’m trapped in a situation that making transition not fun and making me hate being force back into male role and male idenity. 
    I find myself isolating more. I can’t seem identify or pull myself together so I spend time fantasize about girl in my head who I want be if I not living this life. 
    I think about be reincarnated is it going be right next time. Am I going have friends. Or is going be another empty life. 
    My goal this life just simple. I want full transition and fully dress as woman all time and be par of society with my own relationship. Someone I like and like thing I do. 
    I pretty much all girl. I just want to get surgery over w so can heal and have normal life. I don’t want this be some weird thing. If I have be alone I chose itmover be w someone who like yea your not a real girl. Cuz I am. I just have keep play this male role cuz it make everone comfortable. It not mattering it doesn’t fit or I look adrgynous. Only that I man up. 
    Sorry I’m not loud rude big mouth who walk around scratch belch fart. 
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  17. Emma added a comment on a blog entry Breaking walls   

    Welcome back Chantel. Yes, your writing does help. I’m now 5 months on HRT and will see my doctor next Wednesday. We already have the blood test results so I expect an increase in estradiol and a reduction in the spiro. I will ask about progesterone since my breasts are growing. 
    I’d love to hear more about your journey and experiences!
    Emma
    P.S. I’m 61 so not very far behind you.
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  18. Gennee added a topic in Religion & The Transgender Community   

    Transgender People Supported by Hindus
    Hindus have a long and surprising history of supporting transgender people, says expert on Thought of the Day
     
    A Vaishnav Hindu teacher and theologian has appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Thought of the Day detailing how Hinduism has historically supported transgender people “long and surprising approach to gender identity.”
    Akhandadhi Das, who offered his thoughts during the four-minute segment of the Today programme which meditates on topics of spirituality, said that the religion had a long and inclusive history of love and acceptance when it comes to transgender people.-Pink News
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  19. Chantel added a comment on a blog entry Breaking walls   

    It is now 22 months since I wrote the above and I am now 64. I am really pleased with my breast development and I certainly have more than a handful., My breasts now fill an A cup bra easily and I can even fill some B cup bra's as well. When I feel my breast I can feel that my milk glands are well developed and my nipples and alveoli have definitely grown bigger.  When I started i could cover my alveoli with one finger but now it takes two. I don't think they are perhaps quite as large as a cisgender women's. But then again are all cisgender women nipples large?  
    I have been using Estradiol patches throughout my transition and the dose has been slowly increased in response to my blood tests. I have also been taking Spironolactone to suppress my Testosterone and this has again been reduced over recent months in response to my blood results.  Finally I have been taking micronised Progesterone for the past few months as it is felt that this is best commenced once the breasts are growing. I think it is the progesterone that has been responsible for my aveoli and nipples growing as this followed on from me starting the Progesterone.
    My skin has gotten a lot softer and the hair on my chest and back has completely disappeared.  The hairs on my arms and legs are a lot finer and grow much more slowly.
    I have also noticed that my finger nails seem to sort of peel which I am tildes not uncommon. I was advised to use olive oil on them but I have been using Shellac nail polish which seems to protect them. Another experience that I am told is common has been my nipples producing a few drops of clear liquid when stimulated.  This has been constant now for several months.
    Another observation is that I am now much more emotional. Instead of getting angry I well up inside and want to cry. I readily cry at anything sad. I have also noticed that I am less of a risk taker now.
    I am now living 24/7 and that emotional journey into full time womanhood is a big story and so I will leave that for another time.  I can only say that my journey is something that I can only wish I had been able to start when I was a child.  I know that my first gender awareness was when I was five. I didn't understand it but i knew i was being made to conform and against all that adult and peer pressure I had little choice than to accede.  My greater understanding came when I was ten and it was then that I really did know I was a girl. So what I am trying to say is that from my experience we must learn not deny our children the experience of growing in the gender that they feel most comfortable with.  This does not necessitate any surgery or intervention in our early years it is just a freedom to explore. Bigger decisions have to be made later at the start of puberty.
    Well i hope people find this useful. Just go and be the best you can and love who you are.  It is better too see than spend your life blind. Love to all.
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  20. Natalie added a comment on a blog entry Being Autistic and transgender   

    Hi everyone, Thank you for all your interest and comments. Sorry for the length but I thought it might be interesting to hear the realities from someone on the Autistic spectrum 

    The AQ (Autistic Quotient) test has to be taken with all honesty, it is the standard test taken by anyone who is looking for a diagnosis although of course that on its own is not any real indication that someone might be autistic. There is a lot more testing that takes place but here are the most common indications that are important. Below is a in depth look at my autistic mind, we are all different and although this will show some the advantages and disadvantages of being on the spectrum.

    Imagination. Not being able to imagine anything that is not based on reality. Conjuring up a story, a situation from scratch is impossible for me, I really don't have a clue what is going on around me unless I base it on the past realities/situations. In part of the diagnostic test I was given a book to read with pictures but no words. I was then asked to say what I thought was happening. Apparently all the pictures were linked but I couldn't work out what the link was, it didn't make sense. I wasn't able to use my imagination because the pictures I saw just didn't link in any logical way. That was the downfall, it was apparently describing someone having a dream, nothing makes sense in that scenario, so for me it impossible.

    Picture thinking. I only think in pictures, or images. Anything that passes through my mind presents itself as an image and if I am asked to remember anything I just run the videotape in my mind, I can recall huge amounts of memory, what was there, what was said, a bit like PTSD except its not scary situations. I am also able to construct visual images and move them around with ease, like rearranging a room full of furniture and seeing what it would look like before I move it, remembering maps, thats a positive, I don't need a GPS to allow me to find my way about, even in other countries I've been to, my spatial ability is so developed getting lost is unusual.

    Logical thinking. Its all logic and I liken it to precisely how a computer works. If you present illogical information/arguments to a computer it will have great difficulties finding what you want, it has to make logical links and anything that doesn't link has to be found in another way. If that is still illogical then a computer will return a negative. This can cause utter frustration because life isn't logical, computers just crash, humans can 'crash' too. Thats what happens with me, but over the years its become easier, unlike a computer I learned different methods to use but I still have great difficulty  working out what some people mean, thats why I ask so many questions, trying to find the logical link. 

    Pattern thinking. The best part is being able to see patterns emerging as they are normally logical. In that I can identify what is going on around me and I am attracted to patterns...carpets and wallpaper I can look at and see all the repetitive lines and shapes and that is how life is too, but of course the downside is illogical patterns throw me off, life tends to be more illogical. Repeating the same things, like eating the same foods, following a route over and over and even number plates (licence plates) can be fascinating. Comparing everything and finding logical patterns in life is one of the advantages.

    Communication. Humans can be so difficult to understand, thats the problem for me and generally all autistic people because they are not necessarily logical. Whilst my life is run along a well oiled track, always the same, not boring but has to be regular in the way I do things, expecting others to be the same, and they definitely are not. Normally people communicate with each other in a number of ways, some of those abilities are difficult to grasp, if someone tells me something I expect it to be as told, but there are other cues that I will miss, facial expressions are the worst, although its become better as my life progressed. But if what I am told doesn't make logical sense then it gets confusing, especially when the person I am talking to is not giving all the information that they can. Giving me simple information about something that in itself is complex is really difficult, I prefer if the difficult parts are given, then I can make sense of it. Sometimes because I don't understand the simple things in life I am thought to be a bit slow, but tell me about the difficult parts that I can understand I am thought of as intelligent.

    The downsides to the lack of communication skills can be massive, several lots of illogical information and just like a computer I will shut down, crash and then get into panic mode. The consequences can be problematic because if others don't understand how I process information, there is confusion on both sides and the probability of becoming overwhelmed and everything escalating into what is a meltdown, a total loss of control, an explosive rage cycle is possible. Its not anger, its the inability to process and communicate what I am feeling that makes any sense. 

    I can talk endlessly about special interests, I have a mind full of information thats probably only important to me and other people can get bored rather easily if its not what they have an interest in, but I won't know that and then that situation can get into a problem area. 

    Learning. As I've already explained, I learn differently to a lot of others, but information is normally given from the simple to the more complex. I learn back to front and so I have to seek out the more complex information to be able to make sense of the easy parts. The advantage is that I learn quickly and comprehensively. This is reflected in schools with some children quickly becoming bored waiting for the slower learners ( the normal method of teaching) to catch up. If the teaching isn't the way I learn then thats where big problems occur. If children could be tested to discover how they learn before the teaching process begins, instead of teaching one way, the quicker centre focused and the slower outer learning kids could both benefit.

    This is me and although there are a lot of similarities to others, we are all individual and we are all affected differently, have our own methods of dealing with this challenging life. I could have gone into much greater depth so I hope this helpful and ....interesting

       
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  21. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry I wish our bodies came with manuals.   

    The pods moving won't really solve the main problems here, along with the there is absolutely no place to even put one where we are staying currently (the yard is tiny, and so is the driveway, and we have three cars crammed onto it and there is no street parking while a pod was here for a day, the back tiny yard is fenced, no way to put anything in it, and the front yard has a drastic slope.  Secondly, Nikki really doesn't want to carry all the boxes OUT of the basement.  I don't blame him.  So movers is the way to go this time, and let someone else do the schlepping.   And, ​I'm cheap.  Why pay a storage fee for my pod when I can continue using the storage it's in now for free. LOL
    I have brought them to my doctor, but most of them don't seem to have a cuase, she ran a bunch of tests and checks over my food diary and sleep log from my fitbit, and can't find a pattern or basic cause for most of it.    So ​apparently I age weird.  She's still plugging away at it though.   So ​I'm getting the same result you are, 'everyone ages different, and that's probably the cause!".  Meh.  On the bright side, still only have the smallest amount of gray hair in my roots.  (hair is currently blue, but I can see a bit of root).  It doesnt' really matter to me, if it all went white it would be easier to get the crazy colors I like, but it drives certain annoying members of my family who went gray in high school crazy. 
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  22. Kitrah added a comment on a blog entry On mute.   

    I just unerstand my place. It can be better but it can be worst. My life was better in the closet. I have girl role. I not sure how all this ppl think they empower. Nd when I’m free this situation where I going to go what I going to do. I unerstand why you just take the abuse. Cuz it alway can be worst. I think I will alway have friends until I wake up and can’t get one pick up the phone. When u don’t have family or normal life this is what there is. You get to loud and ppl just say I don’t want the drama and that’s it. 
    I get it. I’m not the only one. My ex constant torture me say she going tell ppl things and in that way I’m glad I transitioned cuz nothing to say now. No more blackmail. 
    I wish they will bring back term Gender Identity Disorder. Because I have keep up two identities to surviving. And unless u did it you don’t know. Newest trans ppl not going have that apply to them they get be who they are.
     
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  23. Emma added a comment on a blog entry On mute.   

    Dear Kitrah,
    Please internalize Monica’s message. It’s how I feel too. 
    Best wishes,
    Emma
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  24. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry I wish our bodies came with manuals.   

    Dear Bree,
    Bring my physical changes to my doctor's attention, only to be told, that's a normal part of aging.
    Am trying to be as active as I can, as you are doing, Bree.
    You may consider PODS moving, where they drop off a container in your yard, you pack your own boxes, and put them into the container, they ship the container to your new house, in your yard and you unpack your own boxes into your new house. The containers come in different sizes and are priced accordingly, along with the distance they are being shipped. Haven't used them, so I can't vouch for them, but it is an idea you can consider.
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  25. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry Being Autistic and transgender   

    Dear Natalie, Emma and Bree,
    Didn't take the test because I found it confusing, but some of it resonates with me.
    Have epilepsy, and I can spot people with epilepsy on the sidewalk, especially if it is not well controlled. About half of people with autism have epilepsy.
    Took care of a man with Asperger's Syndrome for 10 years, and I learned a lot taking classes, taking him to support and social groups and attending symposiums on the topic.
    Have issues with loneliness, and I am not sure if it has to do with the fact that I am disabled, poor, or that I am average looking. Must confess I felt more accepted when I lived in Florida (there are many more disabled and poor people there, and, amazingly, they are much more T/LGB-friendly. When I lived in Brooklyn, I was almost as well accepted and well-treated as I was in Florida, and here in upstate New York, I seem to have much greater difficulties than I had in Florida and Brooklyn.
    Thank you for allowing me to share.
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
     
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