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  1. Andrew added a blog entry in Charlotte   

    My next Step
    Hi
    Thank you for the kind comments that were said after my first blog post. I am really looking forward to Friday as I am booked to have my first female hair style so hopefully this will help me along to finally being able to be my true self.
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  2. Chrissy added a topic in Member Recommended Resources   

    Dr. Kathy Rumer - GRS in Philadelphia
    Hi all,
    I've probably mentioned her in blog posts, but I thought I should do a post here under recommendations - particularly now that I'm 6 months past my own GRS (6 months!!!!).
    Anyway - I had my surgery done by Dr. Kathy Rumer in Philadelphia (her office is in Ardmore, PA, a suburb of Philly, she does the surgery at Hahnemann University Hospital). I don't know how long she's been doing this but clearly she is very experienced. She also recently started a transgender health fellowship at Hahnemann (the hospital is affiliated with Drexel University in Philly).
    With only a couple of issues, my experience with her and her staff has been really good. The most important part, the surgery, went without incident. Apparently it took about 3 hours in total (maybe less - it's hard to tell since it takes a couple of hours to reorient from being under that long). But it was quick, and the work is really good, I'm very happy with the appearance.
    They asked me before we started if they could contact anyone for me when it's done, so I gave them my brother's number and they did reach out to him right after the surgery was completed (I called a little while later, when I was reoriented). I think he actually thought it was Dr. Rumer who called him, he hasn't worked with surgeons so much :-)  It recently occurred to me that I've probably only been awake in a room with Dr. Rumer herself for about 15 minutes - 10 minutes the first time I went to her office, then maybe 5 minutes in the OR. Otherwise it's always been her staff.
    Tomorrow is my 6-month check-up, which will be the 4th since surgery (they happened at 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months - the 3 months one I just sent pics and we talked on the phone). I'll have one more at 1 year, then I assume others only if needed. The staff has been great every time - and I realized after the fact that I'm glad her entire staff is female. When you're actually in the chair getting checked, it's a pretty vulnerable, exposed feeling, so I feel better that it's women doing the checking (really only 1 woman doing the checking, but another in the room with us). I'm not sure how I'd feel about a man doing that.
    I mentioned earlier that I had just a couple of issues: (1) they lost my "reservation" for a hospitality room at their office (she has several rooms upstairs that are available for the first week after surgery). In November I found out that I didn't have a room.  On the plus side, the hotel was very near the hospital and they had a deal with the hospital, so I didn't spend much more than I would have with the hospitality room, and it was probably a nicer room (being at a hotel) which was important since I was pretty much stuck there for a solid week. The other issue was (2) the "bed" in the hospital, where I had to stay for 2 solid days after the surgery (no getting up at all) was a glorified cot - I didn't really feel much pain from surgery, but my butt was seriously hurting from the bed (I think most of my morphine use was to compensate for that). That one is on the hospital, and I did report it to Dr. Rumer's office.
    So that's my experience - one of the reasons I went with her was that she is under contract with Cigna, which was my insurance at the time. But I have been really happy with her and her staff overall. For one thing, in the many times I emailed in the first couple of months after surgery (when you're sure that every little tingling sensation is something horrible happening), they were very quick and very friendly in responding, including over the weekend.
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  3. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry A Wonderful Experience   

    Hey Bree!
    I was recently wondering where you were. I did have a great time, thank you. And, I've had my brows waxed again. No big deal! I don't know about legs and all, I suppose I'll wait to see if hormones are the way to go for me and if so I'll venture down that path I'm sure.
    Welcome back!
    Emma
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  4. Briannah added a post in a topic Topical analgesic for epilation   

    I used one for a while back in high school on my legs because I'm stupidly clumsy and razors and got swayed by the happy and simple looking commercials.  The thing with the epilation supposedly is that if you rip out the hair long enough, it supposedly damages the follacles and nerves enough that it both grows back more sparingly and sensitivity lessens.  Sort of a 'bite your bullet and then one day it will magically be easy' thing was what I was told over and over, but it just seemed to hurt worse the longer I used the thing and I just tossed the whole thing aside. In the end I ended up not caring what studies and other women claimed, that crazy thing hurt like hell, I'm wimpy with really sensitive skin and a low pain threshold, and gave up after a few months and went for Nair.  It's messy, it's stinky, and sorta itchy, but it's not painful, far less dangerous than razors in my hands, and while it doesn't last anywhere near as long as depilating, it does last longer than shaving.  And makes your skin weirdly touchable after, I think they put some heavy duty moisturizers in that stuff.
    But, in proof on the oft quoted mileage may vary, Nikki's sensitivity to it is very low, and Nikki uses the epilator with very little pain even in places that I considers REALLY sensitive like the underarms and chest where no depilator will get near me without being thrown over Niagara Falls.  Individual skin sensitivity and hair growth seems to play a large factor in this.  
    I know several women who consider the fast Band-Aid rip of waxing to be preferable to something like the mechanical depilators, they claim doing a large area at once and getting it over with is better than the slower sweeping of the unit over their skin.  Take that for what it's worth, and if you are personally very heat sensitive waxing will not be the right option.  
    I did find this article that may be useful to you though.  http://www.epilatorcentral.com/numbing-creams-for-epilators/ ​ 
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  5. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry A Wonderful Experience   

    *waves* Heya Emma!  Lovely to see you looking happy and having a great time on the great adventure!  And I firmly believe that waxing was created as some form of torture and they found cosmetic applications for it later.  *laughs*  
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  6. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry My Name   

    Charlotte is a very pretty name... I like it a lot because it's not so common and it's unmistakenly feminine. And of course you can change your name to whatever suits you. It's your name! I think I wrote a blog post some years back about my choice of Emma that you may find interesting.
    Edits:
    I found my blog post from almost three years ago about my name. You might find it interesting, or not! 
    http://tgguide.com/message/blogs/entry/707-nom-de-femme/
     
     
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  7. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry My Name   

    Welcome to TGGuide! I look forward to hearing about your transition :-)
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  8. Andrew added a blog entry in Charlotte   

    My Name
    Hi 
    My real name is Andrew but as I am transcending to female at the moment I am using the name Charlotte but may finally change this to a Disney Princess name or Female Nickelodeon character name as one of  my hobbies is collecting Disney and Nickelodeon things. Changing my name is one of my first steps my journey to being the true me.
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  9. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry NY Pride   

    Hey Chrissy,
    Great for you! Have a blast!
    Emma
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  10. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    NY Pride
    Hi all,
    Sunday is NY Pride, it will be my first as a physical woman!!!  Last year I was presenting full-time, but no surgeries yet. The year before was more of a gender-bending year.
    I'll post pics - I'm marching with NYU, so I have the shirt they gave us - I altered it to make it a v-neck, I wanted cleavage 😛
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
     
     
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  11. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry New Medication: Day 1   

    If it is a side effect that will go away hopefully it will taper over time so that you won't have to wait 2 weeks to see :-(
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  12. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry New Medication: Day 1   

    Sorry to hear this. Presumably she is starting you on a low dose and intending to "titrate" you up gradually? I suggest that you check to see if you're on a higher initial dose than what is normally prescribed. After all, people need to live their lives while starting and taking their medications. That's only reasonable. But I hear you about returning to see her; she doesn't seem to have much patience. Hopefully you'll start feeling better and less groggy in a couple of days.
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  13. CTF added a blog entry in In and Outs of the Closet   

    New Medication: Day 1
    Day one of this new medication is going terribly so far. I feel so tired and groggy even though I slept 16 hours! I took the medication around 7:30, went to sleep at 8:30, and woke up around noon. This reminds me of my last medication which made me half asleep all day. This one is making me half asleep as well but it's more like 3/4 asleep considering I could sleep anytime, anywhere where as my last medication I could stay awake for about 3 hours after taking it. I also am having quite vivid dreams which wasn't very fun since I have a history of nightmares and night terrors.
    I read up on it and apparently this drowsiness should dissipate after about 2 weeks. I don't know if I can wait that long but I will. I don't want to stop it and have to see the psychiatrist again so soon and have her thinking I just want attention like she did yesterday. I'll probably lag on the blog for the next couple of days since this drowsiness is taking over me.
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  14. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry New Medication Plus School   

    Accusing you of lying was very unprofessional. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Unfortunately psychiatrists are more medically trained so sometimes they aren't as good at actual therapy.
    I agree with Emma about speaking with the psychiatrist privately but realize that your age and guardianship status might make that impossible. If it's not possible then I just encourage you to remember that you will reach a point when you can act by yourself for yourself! It might seem far off, but it will happen.
    In the meantime at least you have some outlet for personal expression at school and you have this community here 😀
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  15. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry New Medication Plus School   

    I'm sorry to read about your interactions and situation with your psychiatrist. Amazing that she would accuse you of lying, and would insist that you have anyone else present. My suggestion is to have another meeting with her and your guardian present, and calmly explain that you need to see her privately, that you don't feel comfortable having anyone else in the room. If she's uncomfortable with that maybe there is a way for the guardian to be just outside on call in case of need.  That seems to be a reasonable request and hopefully she and your guardian will see it that way. After all, you do see your therapist privately. But then, if she does meet with you privately, you need to gain her commitment to keep your discussions private, that in fact, you are highly concerned about having any of your feelings known outside of the room. If she agrees, fine. If not, I think that here again and unfortunately, you need to see a different psychiatrist.  
    Let me also add that I've been on a variety of psychological medications and none worked for me. To me that speaks more to my depression being less about some chemical imbalance and more about issues that needed to be brought out in therapy. Some psychiatrists are bought into the school of thought that chemicals are everything and here again if she feels that way then she's not a good psychiatrist.
    As for school and the wedding all I can say is take it a day at a time. I don't recall how old you are but I do remember for me that it seemed to take forever to turn 18, then 21, and so forth. But looking back on it now I can say that time really does pass, and you will make it. 
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  16. CTF added a blog entry in In and Outs of the Closet   

    New Medication Plus School
    Yesterday I was once more sent to the psychiatrist for her thoughts on who I am and what medication would help my depression, anxiety, and autism. She also does not know I am trans since every session a guardian has to be present in case I am dangerous or if I lie about something.we discussed how my last medication made me basically a zombie, half asleep when awake and sleeping whenever I could, and how it increased my depression. She discussed either increasing the dosage or stopping it all together. She also discussed how she thought I was lying about the effects of the medication since I have been through 3 categories and none have helped. That shocked me since I've only been on four medications from her. Of course I'm not lying! I wanna get better as much as the next person! Anyway, that was all a hassle to get me to panic. I believe she wanted to see how it affected me which is plain ridiculous. I didn't really react externally, I remained stoic as always and stared at the floor. In the end, I got a new medication which I don't think it's necessary to say the name of.
    Another interesting thing has happened. As you should now from my previous posts, I am out at school and not at home. It's been easy so far, good for me. But now a new principal has been assigned and he is a friend of my parents. Hopefully, he never finds out since I look quite different from the last he saw me, new glasses, shorter hair, taller, skinnier. Plus the principals at my school hardly interact with specific students unless they get in trouble and I'm a goody two shoes so i shouldn't have to worry. The whole new principal fiasco is the only thing making me nervous for the new school year. I'm one of the odd children who enjoys school, not because seeing my friends, but because I get to learn and it gives me a routine. Being autistic a routine is very important. Sadly, I have several months until school starts again and between then and now I have a wedding where a dress is in order. 
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  17. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    Hi CTF,
    As always I appreciate Michael's clear writing and hope it helps you.  I also suggest that you take a look at this post I just made in the FTM Discussion area, and read the linked article. I put it into the FTM folder because that's it main story but I feel it gives any of us an example of a happy real life story. 

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  18. UsernameOptional added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    Hi CTF, and welcome to TGG.
    I was about to toss out a barrage of questions and comments... but the ladies have pretty much covered everything.
    I would add a couple more things for you to consider -  part of your therapist's job is to help you transition into society as the man you identify as.  I would be curious to know how she is being helpful to you, when she herself is not recognizing you as a man.
    It seems to me, based on what you've related, she is just flat ignoring your identity.  I don't know what it means when you say your therapist is a contractural therapist, but I would think there would be some guidelines and ethics she is bound to follow and uphold.
    If your therapist can't start using your preferred pronouns and chosen name... you should definitely find another.  I realize the number of sessions you are allowed is limited, but I would think a limited time with a decent therapist would far out-weigh a full course with one who could potentially be damaging to your self-confidence, self-esteem, and identity by her refusal to respect you.
    -Michael
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  19. cross2play added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    Starting a Cross dressing / transgenders support grp here in Toronto
    Hello I have been thinking of starting a weekly to monthly meetings group for locals in Toronto Ontario CA yet my YouTube channel videos can support International folks from around the world !  The thing is there are costs associated with regular basis meetings of hosting to group organization etc! I am thinking of management of activities so much to use technology as an asset.  
    A lot of the resources are available to cross dresser on YouTube but 1 on 1 support for advanced member is a bit harder to find.  I have many videos talking about issues of transgenders but my YouTube is broad diverse range of topics apart of transgenders support.  
    Watch subscribe My YouTube channel videos Shazy Jeo and there is something for everyone !
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  20. cross2play added a post in a topic Texas may lose 2018 NFL Draft   

    Word for safety and concern for all transgenders within Texas, avoid weird stereotypes areas, remain in your circles and keep out of harsh way, Texas reminds me of my back home troubled areas.
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  21. cross2play added a post in a topic US Split on Need for Anti-Discrimination Laws   

    Nothing to make political issue out of story, but U.S is split in so many directions in international arena it's almost scary, the media fails to report ground facts and gets away falsification fabrication false alarms everyday. Good post Micheal 10 thumbs up !!!
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  22. CTF added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    I have a therapist to help with my anxiety and depression that partner my autism. It runs in the family so I'm in therapy along with testing many different medications. Thank you for the advice, I've been thinking about stopping for a while.
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  23. CTF added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    As far as I know she is a contractual therapist but I don't know much more since she doesn't really share much about her life.
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  24. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    ​I am not familiar with autism and how it affects ones ability to stand up for oneself; that has to be tough but also familiar to therapists. Her brushing you off even as she also knows you're autistic is a concern for me. As Chrissy said it doesn't seem to make sense to spend the limited number of sessions that you have coverage with someone who isn't really helping. 
    That said, what do you want help with from a therapist? What problem(s) do you want to focus on? I assume that something came up that drove you. In your writing you sound very grounded: you know you're autistic, trans, etc. Perhaps by looking at what drove you to seek therapy and judging if and how well you're making progress toward that you will be able to determine for yourself if you should continue to see her or stop and seek out an alternate therapist.
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  25. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    I know you said you can't afford to change, and I don't know all of what your therapy involves, but if there is any way to make a change I would do it. Not respecting your gender and name is simply unacceptable. What kind of professional background does she have? I can't speak to other professions, but if she is a social worker she's violating professional ethics.
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