Activity Stream

Activity Stream

  1. Southern Belle added a post in a topic I'm married to a transgendered   

    I am a genetic woman in a relationship with a person like your husband. First, I want to assure you that solid, fun, and loving relationships are indeed possible. It is not going to be easy at first.

    When I found out, it helped me to distance myself emotionally and take some space to think. We also chatted a lot. We didn't have long, linguring conversations, but if I had a question, I would ask. I needed to concretely find out what this meant to my daily life. If it meant that I would sleep with her in a babydoll, that's one thing. If she expected that we would go out looking like lesbians, that was something else. I needed to find out to what degree she planned to spend her life as a woman. Remember that this was the beginning of a relationship and that we didn't have years of history together.

    I do believe that the only way that you will have a good relationship is to find it in your heart to accept her for who she is. If she has to keep hiding to the people who mean the most to her, then that's not good. If you can't be yourself at home, then where can you be? Just think of the things that make you feel good - for me that's getting dressed up, nice jewerly, manicure etc. Then I think of what it would be like to be looking like a guy in that situation, suit, tie, probably really short hair. I wouldn't feel good at all. That gives me a touch of perspective about what it might be like to be, quite literally, in the other shoes.

    It would help if you and your family don't make this a spectacle. This is a personal matter. I know that you think this is all about you - it is, but your husband is going through a lot of turmoil also. Perhaps family counseling would help with individual counceling where it seems fit.

    You will also find a lot of loving, helpful, well-meaning people on this site. Take the time to read through some of the other messages and boards. You will find a lot of helpful information. There is a guy who has just found out that his son is a daughter. There are other wives dealing with the same feelings and frustrations that you are. I like to get on and chat every once in a while. It gives me perspective and you get to meet a lot of nice people.

    Perhaps one thing that you have to determine is if you truly love the person with whom you have been living or if you just are in love with having a husband. It all takes time. It's a little scary. If you truly love eachother, it will all be worth it.

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  2. willow added a post in a topic I'm married to a transgendered   

    this is a common case. the movie "normal" shows it in great detail.

    love conquers all. and now you'll see if there's love in your family. good luck.

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  3. Lyla added a post in a topic all my sisters   

    I'm 5' 10"; I have very long legs.

    I'm just blessed with a petite frame; my Addam's apple isn't that obvious either.
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  4. Jo'C. added a post in a topic I'm married to a transgendered   

    The real problem here is that your marriage was founded on the assumption that your husband was somebody other than she was. That is not your fault, and her situation is quite understandable. This is so far beyond my experience though. I have never even been in a relationship because of my fear of something like this happening to me. I think you should attend therapy with your husband. The very nature of your relationship is going to be totally altered so there are going to be a lot of adjustments. A mutual divorce may not be a bad option, but then again you may see benefits to staying together.

    Also remember that as hard as this is for you she has spent years in exile, filtering all of her emotions and thoughts as to appear like a normal male. I know what this is like and I can tell you that it is the loneliest feeling in the world.
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  5. Jo'C. added a post in a topic all my sisters   

    ...lucky girl.

    With my height and giant Adams apple I couldn't pass if I tried. I might be able to look good but those two factors would give me away.

    I too enjoyed wearing my moms’ clothes. I was very careful to put things back exactly as I found them. Eventually she noticed that things weren't hung up quite right so I stopped. More than anything else I felt guilty for invading her privacy so I don't do it anymore. Then again, now that I'm out to her, I might be able to ask if I can barrow a thing or two on occasion.
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  6. Lyla added a post in a topic all my sisters   

    Indeed; I've been taught by society that crossdressing is supposed to be taboo to men... that, uh, "weird" people did it. Well, I'm transgendered, so... I'm not a man.

    I don't care if people see me crossdressed, much less approach me about it. I pass as a woman when I'm dressed, anyhow.
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  7. Chris added a post in a topic all my sisters   

    i love to wear female clothing too. ever since i was young i've had the unsatiable urge to wear the clothes. i'm only 19, and i've not told anyone that i like to crossdress. i'd mention crossdressing and people would say 'eww' or they'd laugh, and that doesn't set me up to want to tell them anything. i find it hard to type this even now. it's probably because i don't want to admit it to myself. girls clothing is fun though. alot of fun. :)
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  8. sad added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    I'm married to a transgendered
    I feel very sad, I am not accepting the fact that my husband has the brain of a woman. There is nothing femine about him. NOTHING! He is in therapy and I'm so affraid of him doing harmones. I've told him I wouldn't stay with him if he did. I really love him and I don't want to lose him. Is anyone else feeling this way? Our three boys found out as one of the boys that was staying with us walked in on him and moved out within two days. Our son told the other boys and my brother, but didn't think I knew about my husband doing this, so it's been really hard. I found out through my brother. It was very difficult for me. The boys fill betrayed that I didn't tell them and want us to tell our married daughter as well. When I found out they knew, I was so devestated and embarassed. My one son won't come around any more and wouldn't talk forever. I finally called him after he found out that I knew and said he wished we'd divorce because of my husband (which is their step-father). They really love him and said he'll always be dad, but it's very difficult for them as well. I guess they want our daughter (me & my husbands) to know about her dad and feel the pain that they have. HELP! I'm really struggling with this and I don't want to be without my husband. It's hard not to talk about this even though my husband has been going to therapy and hasn't dressed up for a long time. He's really struggling but is doing really well. Still afraid because I feel that I'm stopping him from being happy. I love him so much. I hate seeing him dressed as a woman. Can anyone help me or have you felt this way too?
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  9. JamieTVgirl added a post in a topic Crossdressing   

    Yeah I feel thatw ay when I slip into some nylons and a dress, It makes me feel so damn sexy. and when I am that way and alone with a man, like you said, game over. :P
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  10. Lori added a topic in Message Board Rules   

    Message Board Rules
    The TGGuide message forums are a free service provided for transsexual, transgender, cross dressing and intersex people to create a fun, friendly, intelligent and informative atmosphere. But to maintain our atmosphere, we ask that you follow the following rules and guidelines to help create a respectable community for those who come here and prevent abuse of these forums and the people who post here. The rules and guidelines posted in this forum do not supersede any rules and guidelines posted for the site or message boards as a whole; they supplement any and all such site or forum-wide rules.
    Our Rules and Guidelines
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    a. Posts are to be made in the relevant forum and Users are asked to read the forum descriptions before posting.  A post started in the wrong forum will be moved.  Off-topic posts that become a distraction or a large part of a thread's content will be deleted or moved to an appropriate forum if the post meets the description of a target forum.  Follow-up posts to off-topic content will also be deleted or moved as appropriate.  Posts to this board may be modified by registered members, but moderators are under no obligation to remove the posts of a present or former member.
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    • 0 replies

  11. Jo'C. added a post in a topic Age   

    Being 20 I don't know anything about getting old, not from experience anyway. What I do know is that when I look into the future I see myself as an old woman (I'm TS not CD), not an old man, so I can relate to not wanting to give it up just because you're getting older. We're all going to get old if we live long enough and it's better to be yourself and old then somebody else and old. A lot of young people seem to have an attitude that once they get to a certain age life will end as they know it and they'll be just like there parents or grandparents. I've always been able to talk to adults from a very young age though, and I've found that many people still have the same passions, listen to a lot of the same music, and in many ways feel the same way they did when they were nineteen, only much more experienced. I listen to old interviews with rock stars and DJs who believed that, because the music they were playing was exclusively associated with the youth culture at the time, they would outgrow it by there thirties, or at the latest by there forties. History has proven this to be a misconception. We continue to be who we are, and in a way that is very comforting.
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  12. Eileen added a post in a topic Age   

    At 57 you are still in the prime of your life girl! I wish I had been more active at that age. I am quite a ways past your age, but do not intend to let that slow me down in my journey to become the woman I truely am. It is difficult to imagine ever being too old to enjoy being a woman!
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  13. Jo'C. added a post in a topic I'd rather wear a dress   

    I see no more need to "cure" cross dressers than I do to “cure” painters or sports fans. I don't see cross dressing as any sort of disorder, an abnormality perhaps, but not an intrinsic problem. It is true that the urge to cross dress can cause a person a great deal of anxiety in a society that is not accepting, and that to act on that desire may impair an individuals ability to function in society, but this is due to no defect on the individuals part. I believe that the real problem is emotional, not psychological, and that the cause of the emotional distress is the denial of ones gender expression.

    Full blown gender dysphoria, on the other hand, is a disorder in my opinion. I think that it has been improperly classified though. "GID" is no more an identity disorder than it is a physical disorder, and being as both the mind and the body are in themselves healthy I think it is improper to classify it as either. The problem is a mismatch of mind and body and as such I think the remedy is to correct the incongruence. One could change ether the body or the mind, and since I am my mind I would rather not be the one to do the changing. From what I have heard psychology isn't that effective in changing an individual’s gender identity and the prospect of psychiatry finding a way to do it is just too frightening.

    I want you to know, Oweena, that I am not trying to discredit your work or the psychiatric field in general. I'm sure you know a lot more about this than me. I do however take exception to the long held perception that certain personality traits are sicknesses when in my opinion they are healthy abnormalities. In fact I believe that it is this very perception that causes most of the problems that effect trans people. The thought that you are defective as a person is devastating to ones self esteem. People out in the community also see trans people as "sick" or, as an extension of that, "a sickness" and therefore ostracised and sometimes even commit hate crimes against us.

    I apologise for getting so political, but I think this issue is crucial to an improved relationship with our selves and our communities. I also really respect your approach to helping others live with their gender issues. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot. Though I am a critical reader I am also open minded, so please don't take this as a personal affront because I really value your input.
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  14. Guest added a post in a topic I'd rather wear a dress   

    HI eddie i feel for you as i am living in the same shadow as you my wife also doesn't understand she says its not normal, but hey what is??? the best thing is just i found is keep it quiet and drop subtle hints into watching documentries together on the subject and hope she comes round.. good luck with you always. ;)
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  15. Valorie added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    I'm 57 yrs. old and don't think there is an age limit to feeling sexy by dressing in female clothing..what do you think? Any older cross-dressers out there that would like to chat can reach me @
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  16. OweenaCo added a post in a topic I'd rather wear a dress   

    There is no known cure for cross dressing. At least I have never been able to discover one. In my 30 years of being a clinical psychologist I never found one so I did the next best thing and taight my patients how to live with their gender dysphoria. That is really the rteason I became a psychologist was because there was no one I could find that was able to help me with my gender dysphoria.

    Love you;

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  17. Guest_Julie added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    I definately like the way women's clothing feels. I'm mostly just into lingerie type clothing. I find it's comfortable and a nice change from the boring look and feel of male clothing. This is one of the reasons why I crossdress.

    The other reason is what I would like to hear some input on. Maybe it's just because I'm young (22) but 95% of the reason why I crossdress is because I find it so darn SEXY. It turns me on so much to the point where it's all I can think about. When I put it on I become _so_ interested in meeting another guy whether he's into crossdressing or not.

    For me I don't feel like I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. I don't feel like I have a deep feminine side to me that I desire to explore. I am perfectly content being a guy and I am very attracted to women even though I am very curious what it would be like being with a guy. Again, the male thing would be purely sexual. Is this bad to feel this way? I've read a couple forums and such and I seem to be the only person who feels this way I think.

    When I'm with a woman I am very relationship oriented. Although sex is very enjoyable it is not my primary goal for a relationship nor do I strive for it right away. I really enjoy taking our time and watching the relationship develop. However, I definately have a very strong sexual drive and once I put on lingerie it's game over. My sexuality peaks to the max.

    I just would like to know what people think about this. Is this considered ok amongst the crossdressing community? Also if anyone feels like emailing me then that would be great.
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  18. Lyla added a post in a topic all my sisters   

    Hi Steph; I know what you mean. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, that my mother became aware that things were missing from her wardrobe; funny story, really. I'm 17, by the way.

    Anywho, I love dresses; but blouses and skirts are way fun too. :D
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  19. stephygurl added a topic in Male to Female (MtF) Crossdressers Discussion   

    all my sisters
    hey girls
    im new here and i just wanted to say im only 18 but i LOVE to wear my moms clothng,panties dreses skirts everythin,i just love the way being a woman feels.
    well respond to this message if you want
    • 14 replies

  20. Southern Belle added a post in a topic Hair Everywhere!!   

    My girlfriend shaves *everything*. I didn't think much about it and haven't noticed that anyone else does either. Legs and all!

    Several estheticians have said that the only treatment they haven't given guys is a leg wax. They've even done butt waxes.
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  21. JamieTVgirl added a post in a topic How many of you Cd's actively date men?   

    Some of the best guys I have dated were guys who liked me both as myself and as Jamie. We can go play tennis together was myself and we can go back to my place and I can slip into "something more comfortable" or not and either way, they accept it and enjoy it. That's the kinda man we all need to find if we date men.
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  22. Tsumetai added a post in a topic How many of you Cd's actively date men?   

    I'm not attracted to men at all. I've really only had one girlfriend, but that was before I realised I was TS. I want to wait until I'm a little older and move in with my friends so that I can be female all the time, and then meet a woman who loves me as a female. But right now it would be too hard to be female around a girlfriend.
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  23. willow added a post in a topic How many of you Cd's actively date men?   

    when i was dating guys many eons ago... they never wanted me for who i am. they only wanted the impossibility of the best of both worlds. since i am ts and not cd it isn't something that can exist due to hormone changes and body changes. yet they always tried and tried... so i threw them out.

    since then i have become lesbian and only date women. mostly butch as they completely understand me and the dynamics of butch-femme are perfect for who i am.
    i will never date men again. they never wanted to date me, only my ugly parts. it was the same thing with bi women.

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  24. Rhonda Lynn added a post in a topic Hair Everywhere!!   

    I usually shave my furry bosums and forearms, of which they're actually only two of so I just don't understand where the fore part came from, as well as my legs just when I'm on vacation because I have the free time to go like total Rhonda. Other than that I figure the dust bunnies in the closet don't mind if I'm a bit furry. I do however shave my palms on a regular basis, when I can find my thick glasses, and I have the presence and clarity of rational thought.

    Ta Ta and Ba Bye Bye Rhonda Lynn ;)
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  25. Annie added a post in a topic Hair Everywhere!!   

    Of course, waxing opens you up to the possibility of ingrown hair and pimples. It's a trade off.

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