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  1. Here are some more tales from your blogging road warrior. Anyone who has been in sales knows that it is a roller coaster with highs and lows coming almost hourly. This week was no different.
    I started early Monday morning before our 9:00 meeting and set one appointment right away. It was to be my last of the week. I struggled Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday doing follow-ups and breaking new territory--for me anyway. Nada. I can't say it was a total loss because I did uncover some promising businesses that will warrant a call back next week. But for the most part, it was heavy slogging either not being able to see the decision maker, or getting a flat out no, or finding out that the company already had AFLAC or a competitor. (Note: We don't replace existing policies.  We provide coverage where none exists) So it was a matter of carrying on believing that it would work out eventually.
    As I mentioned previously, I had four appointments on Thursday to open accounts. The first one went very well, and the owner we dealt with ending up buying just about every policy we presented to her. Unfortunately, her husband was not present. More on that later. The next stop, not quite as well. Our owner here is getting married this month and has a lot on her mind besides opening an account with AFLAC. Still my District Service Coordinator (DSC) persevered and we did establish a group for the company. Enrollments will wait until the middle of December, after the wedding. Our next one required some more deliberation and consultation with outside partners, so no group set up. I think it will still fly eventually. And there was a glitch in our last meeting in that Rich (DSC) had arranged for a Spanish speaker to give a presentation to employees of a pre-school, but he bailed at the last moment, and no replacement was available. Addtionally, the owner of the pre-school was not available so we wouldn't be able to move forward anyway. We'll reschedule. Rich does not have high hopes for this one. We met with one other potential client later that afternoon, however, and that shows some promise.
    So, here it is Friday morning, and Rich is up early and wants to meet me to wrap up the first client. Our owner, Sophia, is a real gem. She is sharp and a straight shooter. But, the husband wanted to be involved, so we had to wait for him to show up which took most of the morning. Rich had to re-sell everything again, but in the end it was a go with two polices yet to be decided. It was still a good sale, especially for a small company, and the owners made smart choices on their coverage. Rich and I came back to my house to work on the computer. We finally got the other employees enrolled and the account was transmitted to AFLAC.  It was a little messy, but we got her done. Rich says you always remember the first one. So it ended well, and I'll get a nice commission check by Tuesday plus an additional $150 bonus for making my fast start level and I also get free  business cards now. Now that was fun. I have an ambitious goal to  open 10 new accounts by the end of the year. With what I have in the pipeline, that is not out of the question. We'll see. I don't want to get overly excited or optimistic, but I also want to enjoy the moment. I did work for it after all.
    More and more, I think my involvement with TG Guide is going to be right here. As I have previously alluded to, the chatroom has gotten to be more of a chore for me. I hate to say that and maybe I'm being selfish, but the conversations have gotten so repetitive, and sometimes it's difficult to even get anyone to say anything. I still like to dress, and I am glad there are places where you can go and be yourself, but it's not where my head is at right now. I don't need to be told what I need to do to be feminine. I can do that well on my own, thank you. What I would like is stimulating conversation on a variety of topics. Not really into tweeting though; that seems to get nasty at times. So I'll just hang out here. This works for me  Until next time...
  2. so im at 7 months now. i feel great physical but emotional im depressed, lonely, sad. i been doing this transition without support network pretty much alone since i start. i am have a hard time wanting to or trying to integrate into society since job loss. things just keep getting more isolated for me. still dressing as a man in public but i standing out a lot more. my face and skin has soften, my anger is gone, i keep looking out for someone like me but dealing w unemployment and looking for friends who are living similar life to me just make me seem like baggage and problem. i dont know what i doing. i am pretty much go through female puberty now. so many changes to liste i cant even summarise where my mind at. i dont know whether im losing strength in the ocean or afraid to get in the water. i feel like my soul getting ripped in half because i cant give it what it needs. with all this going on im not suicidal, just scared im not going find a way to a meaningful life. having to fight a public perception is like swimming with sharks. i dont regret what im doing, wish i had done it sooner. its just going all the way and not getting stuck in the gender fluid ocean. maybe some are ok w that but it not what i want.
  3. i remember when i first realized that i wasn't like my brothers, that i was like my sisters. it seemed like a delicious secret  but .it didn't take too long for that delcious secret to become a nightmare. By age 5 i prayed that God would make me a girl (i still do). From age 8 until i was18 i dressed in my sister's clothes daily. It always felt soo right to be wearing girl clothes and always i felt calm, the only time in my days when i did feel calm. Until was 11 i thought that i was the only one like me. At age 11 I read about Jan Morris and for the first time i thought that maybe i wasn't alone.
    When i turned 18 the impossibility of being me was overwhelming, everyday all day i would see other girls and ladies and feel the pain of not being able to be openly like them. i became angry at being trans and even hating me being me. In the next years i ran from me fell in love, got married had 4 children earned 2 degrees all the while hating the best part of me and always when i would pause i would feel the same pain of not being me only every day every year the pain grew worse, it still does. 
    For those of you who are young and hesitating to transition please do whatever it takes to transition. You can run from being trans but it won'ty go away. YOU CAN"T RUN FROM THE BEST PART OF YOURSELF no matter how hard you run or how faryou run. Please don't be cowardly like me and find yourself at 59 years of age hurting soo badly because you need to be the woman you were born to be. May we all love the person we are and be willing to do what it takes to be true to ourselves everyday of our lives. i fear that for me it probably is too late but there are some wonderful things that have happened to me. My maternal instinct makes me an outstanding special educator and i now have grown to love the girl i am.
     
    To any who might be reading this, please know that you and i are friends whom i haven't met yet. i will love you forever.
     
  4. I'm going to ramble tonight which is what I usually do anyway. My 75th birthday on Friday passed quietly as expected. Funny that I got more congratulations from my neighbors and co-workers than my own family. My sister sent me a short text--no card this year; and I didn't even hear from my brother. One daughter texted that a late card was coming--she is always late; the other called a day later. My erstwhile son didn't bother either, but we have only recently re-established communication so maybe that's not surprising. A few congrats and likes on Facebook and Linkedin. Another day in the life.
    I did reconnect with my chatroom friends. I haven't been dressing as much and don't feel right about entering the chatroom en homme. Also, it has been late when I finally get finished with all my paperwork and organizing that I'm not up to spending a lot of time there. After a full day, I am ready for bed. (I have been tempted to use "just" so many times. I think I am getting better at eliminating it from my usage.)
    As I have mentioned previously, I have several potential account openings this week. The appointments have been set up, and we are ready to open my first business accounts. I have quite a few things in the pipeline now, so I am hopeful that at least some will happen. I am doing this for the money of course--that's why you get into sales, after all--but even more importantly for me, I am trying to prove to myself that I can do it. I have tried numerous times before, and while I have not been a total failure, I have not set the world on fire either. This feels different in that I am able to give it my all, and even more importantly, I am not desperate for the money--eventually, maybe--but not for quite a while. So, what will be, will be as the song says. My expectations are moderate. I think my sales coordinator is more optimistic. He is now counting on my to make his district quota for new account openings. 
    Then with that, I have to get my dogs to the groomer on Tuesday morning. I have my monthly eye injection on Wednesday afternoon followed my the Comcast tech coming to install a new internet for me. Friday, I've been invited to a Thanksgiving lunch at my previous employer, PACE Center of Girls. Busy indeed.
    BTW, I did get dressed tonight for a short visit--skirt and blouse and a pearl necklace. Simple.
  5. By Chrissy,

    Hi all,
    So I wanted to throw this out for discussion - I've been thinking recently about the term "transition" as it relates to the trans community. For starters, I hope nothing that I say here will suggest that I think everyone needs to use the same terminology, particularly for their own experience and journey - it's our story, it's our terminology!
    But in a broader perspective, I have some concerns about the term "transition."  Transition is defined as "the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another." Put simply, my fear of it's general use, with respect to trans-identified people, is that it perpetuates the narrative of being born X and "transitioning" to Y. In my view, I was NOT a man who transitioned to a woman, I was born a woman with some wrong parts. My "transition" therefore was essentially a medical correction along with a change in my personal presentation.
    And of course that does reflect a transition, so the word works. The problem is that there is an entrenched history of believing that we were born one gender and changed to the other - and I think that the term transition is linked to that narrative. Perhaps it's time to look for a new word, or stop using the word entirely? I think back over my process and wonder if I could have gone without it - in what circumstances did I need the word? For people who knew, I could say that yes, I'm getting some medical support to correct some things, and I'm working towards living my authentic self.
    The "trigger" in this case was discovering that my field placement location uses the initials "CGHT" (cross-gender hormone therapy) for HRT that is being prescribed to trans-identified clients. I'm working on that issue, but I realized the big problem I had with it is that it reaffirms that same narrative with staff who see and use that terminology - I DO NOT take "cross-gender" hormones.
    I am by no means sold on all of this, it's a thought I've been having and wanted to share and see what others in the community think 
    xoxo
    Chrissy 
  6. Today, I had five appointments. My District Sales Coordinator (DSC) ran them with me since I am not yet qualified to do an employer presentation. The first two went well, and we are scheduled to open my first two business accounts. The third appointment had to be rescheduled but remains active. My fourth appointment was run by my Regional Sales Coordinator since the DSC was not available. This one also went well and could be a possible account activation. The last appointment was a bust due to a misunderstanding. But, all in all, a very good day that could lead to me actually making some money out of this deal. Of course, nothing is final until the signature is on the dotted line, but our feeling is that it will happen.
    I have two more appointments set for tomorrow, one with my DSC and one with the RSC since I am now working in two geographical locations. We'll see how they go.
    I am starting to get more of a feel how this all works, and it seems at this point that my efforts will pay off. In the meanwhile, I'll keep on working and learning. I have more online courses to take so I will be in student mode again. My wife used to say that I am a perpetual student. I don't see anything wrong with that.
  7. By MichelleLea,

    Today was one of the first days in a while that I have not been running around trying to get things done. Now that I think of it, there were probably some work things I could have done, but I took the time for me instead. So, I read two long New York Times articles, one a free-wheeling interview with John Boehner, former House speaker; and another on the disarray of the Democratic party. I also subscribe to the Miami Herald and the Washington Post,  so this was catch  up on the news day. One thing I read about John Boehner was that he was very meticulous about his dress and irons all his own clothes, which inspired me to do my own washing and ironing. I even polished my shoes. I joke that when I am out prospecting, all I have is a smile and a shoe shine. Even watched a little TV. I never did see Lincoln . Very powerful, but that's Steven Spielberg for you. I had to get the news of the latest shooting from my neighbors. This is getting to be an almost daily event. Nothing will be done of course. I don't know what it will take. There is little moral courage in this country it would seem. We here will do what we can.
  8. By MichelleLea,

    This blog has become more of a journey into my new career rather than a journey into my transition from maleness to femaleness. But that is pretty much my life as of late. I don't mind the male side of me, as I really don't pay much attention to it when out in the world. I don't have to because that's who I am too, and I take pride in being well-dressed and well-groomed as much as I can in the business world. I don't know that I'll ever really be out of the closet as far as dressing goes. Sometimes I get gussied up because it's fun, but mostly I just like more lounging attire to unwind after a long day. I just like wearing whatever feels good to me at the time without anybody telling me that it's wrong. I admire those who make the transition into their true female selves. It takes a lot of courage, which is a shame since we just want to be ourselves. Anyway, all of the new AFLAC associates had individual meetings with our "bosses" and the head trainer today. Although, after my fourth week in the business, I haven't opened any new accounts, everyone is impressed with my work ethic. All they said was to keep doing what I'm doing and the money will come. So, that's what I'll do. I'm going to do some tweaking with my approaches and also call on some of my old contacts to get things going, but other than that, I'll keep at it. If nothing else, I'm getting a lot of exercise and fresh air  and meeting a lot of people. So, we'll see.
  9. I mean, I really wasn't going to get dressed tonight--well, maybe some lounging clothes--but nothing serious. As I mentioned previously, some nights this week, I have not even bothered with that and have gone straight from my dog-walking clothes to my nightie for bed.  I have also been avoiding the CD Chatroom for several reasons, mainly because being dressed is de rigueur for being in the chatroom--I do approve of this unwritten rule, by the way. Also, it has become rather boring and one note, I'm afraid. For me, I can only talk about what we are all wearing and how feminine we are for so long. I go along with it, and I have made some good friends there, but it's usually the quietest chatroom. Very few go there.
    But anyway, after working in the yard, I definitely needed a bath, and I needed to do some shaving, and then I put on some panties and a bra with breast forms--haven't done that in a while. Then I dug out a long skirt and and a blouse to go with it and a little jewelry, and voila! Here I am. So there. I will probably visit the chatroom later. I haven't watched a movie in like forever, so maybe I'll see what I can find.It's nice out tonight, so I might just sit on the porch with my dog and watch the stars.
    One last thing, this is funny. I actually got asked out on a sort of date today. It was one of the cashiers at Walmart that my wife and I have known for at least 10 years. She is Mexican and is my age--she told me--and as it turns out, her son has the same birthday as I do--November 10, next Friday. So, she thought that we should have a joint celebration, and we exchanged phone numbers. i don't know if i will even happen, but she is a nice lady, and it wouldn't hurt. I am certainly not looking for any relationship myself, and I don't see her as a fit in any case, but I don't want to let her down either. We'll see.
  10. Hello and greetings, 
     
    Today L and I took a leap into the tranns world.  We went and picked out a new hair piece together.  220 bucks worth and boy oh boy I tell ya.  We got a baby sitter for the afternoon and went and had our nails done.    then we went out to dinner in Downtown and at a fancy place also.   I felt natural as I ordered dinner and played with my boys and smiled and almost cried a couple times at the total peace I am starting to feel in my skin.    
     I got home to find my gaff had arrived and I ran into the bedroom shed my attire and put it on.  I then put on some skinny jeans and a shirt and told L to look at me.   never had I felt more alive than when she touched my  nether region and there was nothing there. I felt like a natural woman. It has taken me many years and tears to feel that way and when the love of my life reached down and touched me and kissed me I knew we would spend the rest of our ives together.    I am still working on mannerism stance and stuff but i have 41 years on man crapolla to rid myself of.     Well night all lets see what tomorrow holds 
     
  11. I can't say that I have had much trans activity this past week. I have just been too pooped at the end of the day along with a lot of follow-up paperwork that needs doing to even think about dressing. The only dress I want to see is my nightie. It's not all bad, really, although it will be better when things finally start to pop. I am making a lot of approaches and setting appointments, but then there are always those that fall through for one reason or another. The two really good ones I have has so far this week won't make a decision for another six months. Nothing happens fast, that's for sure. I have four presentations scheduled for the morning, so maybe one of them wiill come through.
    I have been working some with a co-worker, Kathy, whom I have previously mentioned. As I said, she is very sharp and was a big person in IT with American Express making major bucks as she tells it. But she loves to talk, and takes soooo looong to do things, that it does get to me. She also obsesses over her prospects that are not happening and just eating up more of her time. I have to keep moving. If you are serious, fine. If not, I have others to see. Some agents do very well working with a partner. I'm so used to being on my own. My wife used to say that I don't really need anybody. It was a harsh statement. Maybe, it's true. I do enjoy good company, but it's hard to fine people with interests similar to mine, or maybe interesting people period. I will say that I have met interesting and alive people here at this website. I am grateful that it is here.
  12. (L)
    Good morning,
    I came in from taking son to school and Deedee was sitting at the dining table looking all pretty with a long sleeve white tshirt, jeans and her boots and hat on.  I wasn't expecting to see it when I came in the front door and I guess I sort of looked dazed (I mean, it was 8:15am, I was, and still am, half asleep).  She thought that I was not happy about her going to work that way, but it wasn't true, I was just surprised and not sure, in my half asleep state, what was going on.  I know I should expect her to begin dressing up more and more, but it is still sort of a jolt to my system when I see her that way.  I will get used to it, over time.  And, it is Halloween also, so later on, when I had woken up a little more, it occurred to me that today was the best day as any to go out dressed up when it is light outside.  So far, it has been at night, and in dark restaurants.  She looked good, as always.  I guess I can't say handsome anymore.  
    We are selling our house, and at the end of this month, we are going out on the road.  We don't know our destination, nor where our journey will take us.  This is a huge move, with lots of loose ends to tie up here, and I'm also leaving the area that my job is in, and taking it on the road, so if I have meetings I need to attend at the office, I'm trying to tie up all that stuff also.  Besides the usual move stuff; address forwarding, school papers for the boys, shot records from drs, packing what stuff we are not taking on the road, to be stored until after the first of the year, selling the things that we can before we leave.  My mind is full of stuff to do, besides the usual stuff, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, etc.  Yesterday, Deedee and I had a little disagreement about starting the HRT.  She came to me and said, I made an appt at a doctor for next week.  I thought we were going through this journey together, so that was shocking to me, that she would make an appt without asking me, or figuring out a babysitter for the boys, etc.  So I simply said, I thought we were doing this together? She took that to mean that I was against the whole idea.  I simply asked a question, and then I wanted to voice my concerns that considering I already have so many things on my plate that it would be better for my sanity if we waited until after our road trip, possibly the beginning of the year, to find a Dr and begin it then.  I can only handle so many things, emotionally, physically.  I was called selfish though, so I let it go.  After talking about it for a few hours, over the course of dinner time and getting kids to bed, I guess going to the appt isn't all bad.  Even if they give her the meds that day (which I doubt), at least it is a start.  We will find out the dosage course, and then look to transfer to another facility up north when we get there.  I will have to just watch myself even more to stay on an even level with my emotions, and not think too much when/if she gets overly aggressive or mean.  I already deal with a 5 yr old with ADHD and a 1 yr old that thinks everything is his, and screams bloody murder if he doesn't get what he wants.  If I turn off my emotions for a few months, its all good.  Momma is saving her sanity...
  13. By KarenPayne,

    This morning I went down to chat with a fellow co-worker, asked him "I wonder if people here will dress up today?". I asked because not every year they will, kind of hit or miss. He was unsure same as me.
    He then told me that a former co-worker told him that I killed it one Halloween (way back in 1996) when I dressed up as a female. I vaguely remember until this jogged me memory. I had dressed in proper business attire, mid-size high heels, black stockings, black dress, just above the knees, while blouse and black blazer. As the story goes (because I didn't know this) was that this former co-worker arrived and thought to herself, who is that woman sitting in Kevin's desktop. She didn't say anything, waited for me to turn around and took a minute to realize I was dressed as a female.
    Any ways the former co-worker told my present co-worker I killed it in that it was not apparent that I was "me" until she stared at me for a minute. 
    That brought a smile to me today, twenty some years later, I will take it
     
     
  14. Today Was a good day,   came out to a dear friend and.   Still have and probably will for a while have some ups and down with the wifey mainly because the fear of loosing her man but hey she's gaining a woman.   I know i need to assure her that I am not going anywhere and I will always be here.    This blog will be full of our thoughts about transition.   I made the appointment today to get hormones.  I am debating wether or not to start them before or after our month long vacation before Christmas and new year.    I think I would like to start them as soon as I get them but L is afraid I will ruin the Holidays with teenage puberty.    I don't think I will,  I think it could be a beautiful time with the Children and L in the mountains as I begin the journey to womanhood.     I actually felt a flutter in my stomach after the appointment as made.    I think its really going to happen and I am going to free the inner Beauty I used to call her Erica when I was younger but I have found it easier to go by DEE DEE since those are my initials. whichever name I choose to keep is our decision and no one else.    I will be happy when I have breast growth and when my hair and face are more feminine and I will be so thrilled the day I can have this headache removed from between my legs.   That day will come.   I know it will.    I hate my male genitals; I have hated them for years.   They serve a purpose and that was to make babies and we did we made 2 awesome boys.   Daddymommy needs to be freed of the enslavement of this meat mass.    this is just how I am feeling today.   I sure hope L post something later.    
  15. By 4EverYoung,

    Good Morning this is DeeDee.    
     
     
    I was about 5 years old when I first felt like a girl in a boys body.  My mom and Dad knew something was different with me but due to their extreme religious beliefs they were unable to see that I was just a Girl trapped in a boys Body.    I spent many years growing up wearing my sisters clothes in secret and even repressing the feelings of femininity. Then I went through boy puberty and found my penis,  don't get me wrong I had fun with it but fun and true joy are two different things.    anyway well touch on all that another day.  I am 40 years old now and I am beginning transition.   
     
    1. understand this is the real deal and not a fantasy
    2. have the support of my wife who is my life and means the world to me
    3. begin hormones
    4. start dressing full time.
     
    wow so much to begin and I am excited.   6 we






  16. By 4EverYoung,

    Good evening,
    My husband and I decided to start this blog to track our journey.  Here is a little back story.  We have known each other since 1991.  I was 13 at the time, and he was 15.  There was attraction on both our parts from first sight.  We somehow can't stay away from each other  ​ We love spending time together, mostly driving out on the open road.  We have 2 young boys, and they are definitely a huge part of our lives.  Our baby is 1.5 years old, so we took time to get him through the baby stages, and when we confident that these 2 boys completed our family, the journey into my husband feeling more comfortable in his skin could start to transpire.  It wasn't like we planned it that way.  Since the boys arent quite as needy as they were, about 6 months ago, we started putting ourselves, and our relationship, to the forefront of our every-day.  We would spend hours talking after the boys went to bed, and it was then that we learned so much more about each other.  This talking brought out his feelings about how uncomfortable he was in his body.  I, of course, want him to be confident and comfortable,  no matter what, or who, that is.  I love him for him, period.  
    Slowly, over the past like 5-6 weeks, he has begun to dress more as a woman, and is becoming more confident going out in public.  He wants to go all the way, so that is the ultimate goal, no matter how long it takes to get there.  The process of telling our 5 year old has been slow and steady.  He is becoming more and more comfortable with it, and even him and Daddy went into a convenience store the other night, while Daddy was dressed, and neither one were embarrassed! It is a huge step!
    This blog will be both of us writing, as we feel something that needs to be shared, or documented, for our journey.  If I am writing, I will put an "L" to let the reader know it is from my perspective.
    We are excited what the future will hold and look forward to this blog filling up quickly lol.  Goodnight for now. "L"
     
  17. I had a few things on my "to-do" list today, but putting the house back together and doing yard work were priorities. AFLAC had almost completely taken over the dining room area, and that had to come to an end. As I wrote last night, I have  decided to use an excel spreadsheet to manage my prospecting, and am in the process of inputting all my business contacts. The sum total of my progress in that area, except for a few entries last night, is to move all the stuff from the dining room into the den. So now, I'm sitting with piles of stuff in the den which I guess is an improvement of sorts. At least it's out of direct site should anyone come to visit. Actually, my neighbor, Jeanie, is the only one who comes, and that's to let the dogs out. Anyway, it looks better for me to look at.
    So then, while I'm cleaning the living room, I decided it was time to do some rearranging there. I have always thought that our recliners are way too far back from the TV, so I figured out a way to move them closer without having to redo the whole room. It came out well, not that I watch TV anymore. I had one casualty when I moved the couch. It was backed up against the wall, and the paint stuck to the leather and came off with it. We were without power for a week during the hurricane, and the humidity must have weakened the paint. It is out of sight for the time being. Another project. Oh,and I put the leaf back in the dinette table where I eat, so now I have more room there. In the afternoon, I tackled the yard. The arica palms in the front need constant maintenance to keep them at a reasonable height. And the oleander needed some work. And there is always weeding. I like living in Florida, but everything grows all the time, and it's really a challenge at times to stay on top of it.
    I have a busy week ahead. Hope something pops. I have low expectations. I well keep on keeping on.
  18. It is a dark and stormy night--couldn't resist. We have another system moving in which is expected, as far as I can tell, to bring some wind and rain. It really doesn't sound too unusual for south Florida, but my neighbor had to warn me that I had better pick up my yard.  I'm really not going to get too shook about it. I think Chris just is an alarmist. And while I'm on the subject, another thing about Chris. He's a nice guy, and I like him, but he is somewhat of a gas bag. If you tell him how you did something, he will tell you that it was wrong, and then proceed to tell you how it should be done. Anymore, it just let it go in one ear and out the other. I know what works for me. Sue wasn't crazy about him because he was all talk and very little action. Besides, his yard is not kept up, and Sue was big on appearances. She actually was like Hyacinth in the British TV show Keeping Up Appearances , a show she really liked.
    It's raining hard now. Getting the dogs out will be a challenge tonight. Hopefully, we won't lose power. Right now, we're all huddled in the den, cozy, safe, and dry. I did my weekly grocery shopping and lawn mowing this morning before the rains started. This afternoon, I started to organize all the piles of notes and business cards and assorted papers that have taken over every unclaimed space in the kitchen/dining area. As Bette Davis would say: "What a dump!" Despite what my instructor said abo ut the simplicity of using 3X5 cards to organize business contacts, it is just not working for me. I am going to use an Excel spreadsheet and be done with chasing all this paper. Once set up, I will have an easy record of my contact history and can print one sheet of paper when I visit businesses again. That is my plan anyway. We'll see if it is less cumbersome than the paper trail.
    So, I did manage to finally get in the shower and get cleaned up and do a little grooming. Nails need cutting periodically, you know. I painted my toenails a while back, and I'm letting them grow out. Now I have about a 3/4 paint job on my nails. I'm sort of using it as an experiment to see how fast my nails grow. I've heard that good nail growth is a sign of good health. I'm not sure what good hail growth is, but they are growing, so I guess that's a good sign. Beyond that, I didn't get overly dressed up tonight. Work has been so all-consuming that I haven't felt very "femme" of late. In truth, I haven't had time to feel much of anything. So, maybe it's time to give it a rest. I do feel that I should do something--this is a transgender website after all. I was sort of femme today with my part-colored toenails and  ladies flipflops. I wore a beaded necklace and bracelet with a men's shirt and jeans. A little of both--girls do all the time, so why can't I. I am a CD, darn it. I'll see who's in the chatroom tonight. It has been very quiet of late.

  19. By MichelleLea,

    This was a busy week, but lately, aren't they all? AFLAC was running a contest to kick start the quarter, so we were all encouraged to go out there and rack up some good numbers. The ones who reached a certain level would be invited to a fancy downtown bar--Blue Martini--this coming Monday. I was a little handicapped since I had a full day of training on Tuesday, and another hald a day training on Thursday. Additionally, on Monday I worked with someone else which was a little different for me. Kathy has been in the business a little bit longer than me and is just starting to make some headway. She is sharp and has a good approach, although she is much more analytical than I am and is more selective of the businesses she calls on. I may get that way, but right now I don't do much discriminating. Pretty much, if it's got a door, I'll go in. Still, we ended the day with 53 approaches and one appointment set. 
    Wednesday, after my second time through Level 1 sales school, I really pounded the pavement and made 79 approaches and set 7 business appointments and 1 direct sale appointment. As some of you may know, sales is an up and down deal. On  Thursday, after my morning training, I went out and made 43 approaches and came up empty-handed. i even went downhill as I lost one of the appointments I had previously set--I wasn't terribly disapponted in this one as it was pretty iffy to start with. My boss gave me some encouraging words last night, and I bounced back with 23 approaches today and 4 appointments set. Kathy also did an employer presentation for me which went well. Hopefully, it will translate into some enrollments and get me on the board.
    So, this weekend I will catch my breath and get myself organized the for comng week. I have 10 appointments with employers and Kathy and my boss Rich are going to do them for me. I haven't been to Level 2 training yet, so I don't know enought to do them on my own. I will have a lot more leeway when I can make my own presentations. So, little by little I seem to be getting there. It does take time and there is a lot to learn. In due time. BTW, I am invited to the Blue Martini on Monday. I don't drink anymore, but hopefully the food will be good. I will try to post the picture that was taken at training. I put it on facebook and have gotten a lot of likes and comments.

  20. Last night the feminist group I belong to had a discussion about trans issues in the feminist movement - I was the organizer/moderator of the event.  The event was titled "Are Trans Women Real Women?" (the title was intentionally provocative with an obvious "YES" answer).
    I was pretty nervous going in - public speaking isn't really my thing, or at least hadn't been - the group organizer asked me, before anyone else was there, if I was nervous - I said "Yes." But I also said that it would pass as soon as I started talking. I realized later what a change that was - in the past I would have been nervous until it was over, not just until I started talking. But that is what happened, my anxiety peaked right as she introduced me, and then passed immediately. The rest of the way was pretty easy going. We played 4 short videos, the first was from a TERF (just so that they're perspective was shown) and then 3 trans people (the video links are below - the 2nd one is so incredibly moving, I still can't watch it without crying). They we had people pair off to discuss the question "What is a woman?"  Then we came back together as a group and talked for about an hour.
    So that put me in an interesting place - I was the only trans person present, and I was the moderator. So early on in particular I tried to hang back and let other people talk, even when I had a clear answer to a question or point. That worked nicely, there was a lot of value in letting the group work through issues that they hadn't before. The question proved particularly good as it was one that most people hadn't thought about before ("What is a woman?"). One person acknowledged that she probably had always gone through life without a definition but with a "I know it when I see it" belief.
    It's a really good group, we always have good discussions, and I think some good came of this, particularly in terms of people having a better understanding of trans issues and cisgender privilege. They even came to recognize that by even having to have this discussion suggests that the feminist movement is largely a cisgender movement (in addition to being a white movement).
    On a personal note, I'm thrilled at having done this. It's one more thing that I would never have thought about doing pre-transition, and now not only did I do it, but I want to do more of it.
    xoxo
    Chrissy
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLG6rqN8vjU (Jenni Murray)https://youtu.be/E0v_idyvjco (girl with cards)https://youtu.be/S8DwxjDrNNM (Lee Mokobe)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsowxKx_-_c (Janet Mock)
  21. I had a good day. I have been going like mad trying to get my prospecting numbers in for the week, and then having to spend time with my District Sales Coordinator, that I have been a little scattered. So, I pretty much took the day for me to get my parts together. I organized my employer contacts that showed some promise and did some recalls this morning. Nothing major, but I did secure one appointment for my efforts. I also sent out some emails to businesses that I can't reach any other way--I'm not holding my breath on those. But I also sent my former employer, PACE Center for Girls, an email asking them to consider AFLAC. At least here I know the principals. I don't know what will come of it, but it would be a big account if it materialized. Worth a shot. I also reached out to the handyman who did our house remodeling. He and his wife befriended both Sue and me, and he gave his condolences. I hope to see him again soon. I also got dental insurance today from the same carrier I had at PACE. Of all things, I can't get a policy from ALAC--too old. The cutoff is 70. I'm just three weeks shy of 75. Anyway, I have pretty decent coverage again through Metlife which I will need since I'm contemplating an implant in January. I need to keep up with my dental hygiene.
    My last thing of the day was to finally finish my credentials for the AFLAC policy writing platform. I have been having a devil of a time getting the software to cooperate, and have spent way too much time talking to tech support and customer service. In the end, I got it to work so now I know how to set up an employer and enroll employees. I passed the test and got my certificate. Whew!
    This weekend, I will be planning with my prospecting partner, what areas we will hit. I also have a laundry that is piling up, and I will need to do some ironing. Good old youtube. I'm getting a little better at it. That's it for now. See you later.
     
  22. By Emma,

    A couple of months ago while driving north in Oregon I thought of a custom license plate for me: "EMMAGINE." Unfortunately the DMV only accepts 7 characters or fewer so I dropped an M. I love it!

  23. So, I just now finished reading a rather lengthy article by Alex Mar in Wired, courtesy of my Flipboard app, called "Love in the Time of Robots." It's about Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro, who builds beautiful androids, humanoids if you will. It gets deep fast as we delve into what it is to be human and how we relate to each other. Now, after a day of doing weekend chores--shopping, mowing, setting up a new laptop, doing my social obligations, and having dinner of the lasagna that my neighbor brought me the other night--fortunately I was dressed normally, and not in some of the get-up i usually wear later in the evening--I find myself in a somewhat pensive mood. (Boy, that was a long sentence.) 
    My earliest remembrances as a child were about what am I actually. At a very early age, and being brought up Catholic, I could attach a label, "child of God." But, it never ended there and I'm still trying to figure out life--a heavy duty trip, a friend of mine once told me. I am a fan of Eric Barker and his blog,  "Barking Up the Wrong Tree."  He writes about of lot of life and living based on neuroscience and influenced by the teachings of the Stoics. His contention is that we are not only our thoughts. In other words, our thoughts are not who we are. I have to agree. i have long held the view that the mind and the body are one, and that who we are is as much a matter of our physicality as our thinking. When I was in the seminary in college, a friend and I contended that every encounter had an element of sexuality involved. It drove our priest-professors nuts. Maybe that was the idea.
    There is also the notion--and I'm thinking this as I write--that our brains are physical too. Eric Barker says that when we learn, our brain structure actually changes. We are constantly forging new pathways and new neural connections--that is, if we continue to learn. If we stay stuck in our patterns of thinking, the rut keeps getting deeper. I think some people have a hard time changing because they have invested so much into one way of thinking. They don't want to lose all that effort they put into building the structure, even if it doesn't work.
    So, anyway, I had dinner, and finished reading my article, and had a little chair nap. I then brushed my teeth and had my shower, and then what. I wasn't feeling particularly feminine or playful or girly, but our of habit, I put on a pair of panties and a bra, and then I thought maybe I'll wear my new metallic pants but with a red VS top, then my fake pearl necklaces and bracelet. That is what I'm wearing now. So, how does that change my thinking and my mood? Tonight, not too much. Other times, a whole different personality. Usually, I feel different depending on what I'm wearing  whether it be a sharp men's suit or a dress. Brain change--maybe. Basically, at this time of the day, I just put on whatever, because I can. My boss told me to de-AFLAC over the weekend, so that's what I'm doing.
    But, getting back to who we are. Some say that we are our choices. I think also maybe our values. Maybe we should just be. Zorba says to his English boss. "You think too much." Or as Kipling says, to think and not make thoughts our aim. And with that, enough thinking for the evening. I'll see of there are any other girls to chat with. Bye.
  24. By MichelleLea,

    I have been working pretty steadily with AFLAC, but iooks  like I will have to work even harder--and smarter--to get off the ground. Most of my appointments for the last two days didn't work out for one reason or another, mostly no-shows which is common enough. I think I can reschedule most of them, however. My boss and I did get one the looks likely to be a buyer as well as being a broker who can make referrals to me for added business. So, we 'll see how that pans out. I still have some things pending, and tomorrow I make some recalls to see if I can catch the owner. I'm going to keep going.
    BTW, I "just" read that we should try to eliminate using "just" in our speech and writing. The writer said that it adds a note of subservience to our communications, and we are more direct and purposeful without it. Women seem to use it 3-4 times as much as men. I use it a lot which says something about me. I'll try to cut down on using it. My readers can check on me.
    Right now I have to finish my course on how to use the writing platform so I can write policies and make some money. That will be nice. I have two trainings next week as well, one all day, and the other half day. On top of that, our region is running a major push next week, so I will definitely be putting some hours in. I'll be working with a go-getter female partner for a good part of the week. I think it will be good for me to work with someone who is a bit more agressive. Maybe the two of us can make a good team.
    Anyway, that's it for now. My feminine self is taking a back burner for a while, which is not all bad. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know.( I have a really bad joke on that, but I'll save that for another time.) Later.
  25. By MichelleLea,

    On Sunday, I finally got around to cleaning out my wife's medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I am still going through bathroom stuff--I gress I have been putting it off. It's strange going through someone else's personal belongings. My wife and I were together for over 30 years, although we were not intimate for the last 14 years or so. She couldn't deal with the idea of dressing let alone the physical expression of it. I think it became so ingrained in her thinking that she couldn't modify her stance. And then 8 years ago, she go cancer, so that was another chapter. And then, we had the aftermath of all the treatments, wh​​ich virtually left her house bound.​ Massive diarrhea. She sometimes spent most of her day, and night, in the bathroom. Both of us cleaned a lot of messes. Many trips to the doctors over the years with little improvement. In the end, we did make some headway with her bowels, but then COPD kicked in, and that seemed to be the last straw. Her body just wore out. So, going through her things, you see what someone does to cope with life as it is. In her case, it was a fear of running out of something, so she has loads of medicine and you name it. I think I have enough food in the house to last a year. Just need to buy fresh things. I wonder what someone will think when they go through my things. I think I want someone who knows who I am.
    So, I am super busy with my new career. Lots of meetings and training and courses to take on line. Right now my prospecting is in the hard grind phase because it's all I know how to do at the moment. I do have a direct sale opportunity pendintg with one of my neighbors who I think will buy and accident policy. Yesterday, after Monday meeting, I spent three hours walking around our local industrial parks, stopping in businesses, and trying to make appointments. Hard go. I stopped in 51 businesses, talked to 20 decision makers DMs, and got zero appointments. I did get some positive responses, however. So, it will be worthwhile to call back. Today, I did 43 stops, with 8 DMs, and did get two appointments. I think it will get easier. I'm sure getting my exercise and fresh air if nothing else.
    I had a teeth cleaning this morning, and I had to tell Trish, our hygienist, that Sue had died. I had previously let the office know, but word never got back to her. We had both gotten to be good friends with Trish, and so I had to tell the story again. I think everyone knows by now. I told Trish that I thought of her every time I brushed my teeth.
    So that's it for today's edtion. I do have to rein in my clothes shopping, at least a little. Now I have to buy a laptop for work, but that's a business expense, and it looks like i can get what I need for around $250 at Walmart. Not bad. But then, we still get all these catalogs in the mail, and I ended up buying a posture bra from AmeriMark. I just couldn't resist, and besides, I do need to improve my posture--right?