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  1. KarenPayne


    Prior to transitioning there were times where I could not validate a move forward course of action so I know it can be difficult but once you (can) get past the naysayers validation is easier. If one can't get past naysayers and must struggle with those people and finances can lead down a dark path. What I've seen locally to new friends who were on the fence about any form of transitioning, after having serious discussions with me in regards to the commitment and mindset coupled with proper therapy was a change of heart from being unsure to an affirmative path to which direction to move towards be it part time, full time (no surgeries or just hormones) to moving forward with the entire transformation to the gender they feel they should had been.

    I can't fathom struggles with finances other than flipping the entire bill along and feel for you. I do know of less than a handful of transgender people that are moving forward with some form of government or   employment aid yet both seem to take forever to advance towards one's goals. This is so similar to things like dental insurance where what one really needs insurance does little or nothing to assist.

  2. KarenPayne


    First off thanks for sharing!!!

    Many valid points made in these videos especially the “trendy” aspect of not authentic. I disagree when one looks at transgender overall as looking for attention. I would had loved to stayed in my born gender yet my brain and many of my body features were undoubtable female and repression was not the solution. Yes there are a segment of the population that are like the man mentioned in the one video with full blown facial hair identifying as female and a handful of my Facebook friends that I know full well are cisgender females claiming they were born as male which are the trendy one’s that give the true transgender people a bad name.

    A valid point for instance is those who transition will never fully experience things like growing up as female when born as male or know the pain and joy of childbirth but the key here is for the true transgender that transitions fully or partially without any intent to draw attention to themselves usually needs it given they have followed sound advice from a therapist which of course some don’t and move forward regardless of professional advice.

    Where I currently stand is being content as I can for the cards given to me as the choice to transition was a necessity whether I wanted this journey or not. I’m in my mind female as much as I can be.

    1 person likes this
  3. Kitrah


    Hi Chrissy and Emma,

    Thanks for encouragement. Validation is something hard to achieve sometime. right now im not concern what other people thinking i just try to focus on what it is that i need to be doing for myself. I try to focus more on positive energy and meditation right now.

    Kitrah

    1 person likes this
  4. Andrew


    Hi Emma

    Being Slimed is when you get covered in green goo. It is normally used in Nickelodeon or other Children's game shows etc.

     

    3 people like this
  5. EmmaSweet


    Dear Chrissy,

    Happy Birthday, even if I'm early! I loved reading your timeline history. You've made such great progress. I also get hopeful that I will also have at least some depression lifted in transition. I don't expect it to change everything at all, but do expect that being a woman will finally solve a major problem for me. 

    We all have fears of being alone, rejected. That's so sad to feel that way. As Karen wrote I also feel that there is someone out there for each of us. But it's scary to think that we just might not encounter that person. I know this: all the times I met new dating partners I wasn't looking or trying. I was just being myself, doing whatever it was I was doing. I think that's a better way to live anyway. Easy for me to say.

     I'm also sorry to hear about your sister. It sucks how she is treating you. 

    Be you, Chrissy, you're good and lovely,

    Emma

    4 people like this
  6. EmmaSweet


    Hey Charotte,

    Good to hear from you and sorry about those nasty people. I don't know what being slimed is. I guess it's good? Hope so!

    And, great to hear about those superbike riders. Goes to show that for younger people being trans or gay is just another example of human diversity.

    xoxo

    Emma

    2 people like this
  7. bluemoon


    Chrissy, happy almost birthday – you have so much to celebrate! I have a few comments about the effects of your transgender status on finding a man. One is that there are always aspects of all kinds that others find unattractive or attractive to different degrees. Even though transgender is a big one, it is still only one of many and you obviously have so many wonderful qualities, such as being smart, articulate, warm, caring, and sensitive to others.  While transgender may deter some men, most of them are probably not the type you want anyway. Conversely, someone who sees you for who you really are is more apt to be the kind of person you like and are compatible with too.

     

    I’m so sorry that you are in that position with your sister, which I described before as something along the lines of her terrible loss and limitation. Unfortunately, family members are often the last to fully accept you in all kinds of ways, especially when it comes to changes. Their image of you is rooted far back. Since the core of it forms in childhood, it is often difficult and slow, at best, for them to see you in any other way. Families should come with a warning label with a long list of side-effects, interactions, risks, and unforeseen effects.

     

    Good luck in this next year of being more you than ever.

     

    3 people like this
  8. Chrissy


    Charlotte,

    That's so nice about the riders, it must have felt nice ☺

    Sorry about the other incidents, it's horrible but it is a reality for trans people. I wish I had something more inspiring to fall back on but I can say that in my experience the positives about living an authentic life far outweigh the bad.

    Stay strong!

    Xoxo

    Chrissy

    2 people like this
  9. KarenPayne


    In regards to finding a man, one is out there for you, it's simply a matter of getting out there in the right places. For me finding a female was not that bad but had to change my mindset and of course present myself in the proper fashion.

    2 people like this
  10. bluemoon


    That's happened to me too with being androgynous and with intersex disclosure. Sometimes it involves pressure from family or friends, but sometimes through their own insecurity about what their family or friends will think about them. They fear that their gender status or general social status will be questioned or compromised. A girlfriend that was particularly drawn to my female aspects loved that we could be secret lesbians except to close friends that we knew would accept us. She had been occasionally attracted to other women but was too afraid about what others would think to become sexually involved with them.

    3 people like this
  11. Chrissy


    Dear Ladies,

    Please keep in mind that ONE OUT OF THREE adult cisgender women wear wigs or hair pieces.

    Wow, I didn't realize the number was that high. I haven't given them up entirely, I just need to know that I'm wearing them as a choice, not because I feel less like a woman without. I know that's not objectively true - I'm every bit as much a woman with or without a wig - but it's a self-perception I need to work through.

    2 people like this
  12. bluemoon


    Emma, that sounds like fun, the hairstyle hunt. I also appreciate your post, Monica, since I had no idea that one out of three cisgender women wear wigs or hair pieces and that seems freeing in case I ever want to try it.

    2 people like this
  13. MonicaPz


    Dear Charlotte and Emma,

    There have been some situations where people AT FIRST supported a transgendered person, but then changed their mind (probably under pressure from their family and friends).

    This has also happened to me as a Lesbian.

    Yours truly,

    Monica

    2 people like this
  14. MonicaPz


    Dear Ladies,

    Please keep in mind that ONE OUT OF THREE adult cisgender women wear wigs or hair pieces.

    Have experimented with wearing a wig.  The wig flattered me very much and was much more attractive than my natural hair.  Wore it daily but kept very good care of it.  Sadly, even though it was an $85.00 wig, I had to give it up, because the wig only lasted three months, which would have been financially prohibitive for me.

    By the way, artificial hair wigs are much more comfortable than natural hair wigs, in my experience, and just as natural looking.  Also, I think artificial hair wigs seem to stand up to wear and tear better than natural hair wigs.

    Yours truly,

    Monica

    2 people like this
  15. EmmaSweet


    Blue, I've been collecting photos of women with possible styles, and plan on reviewing them with a pair of women friends who know me personally so I can get their opinions. Then I will also show the stylist and get her feedback. I hope that works or at least makes the best of it! I should be able to post a photo in about a month...

    3 people like this
  16. Steph53


    Hiya Karen. Good on You Honey. Firstly out Driving, and then being hit on by 2 Guy's Twice. Karen, You cannot blame Them Babes, because You are A Gorgeous Young Lady. Karen, It Is Always Great to hear from You Sweetheart. Keep Smiling, Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    3 people like this
  17. bluemoon


    Emma, I can't wait to see it and whether you go pixie or try something else. A tremendously talented hair stylist might know what is best for you, but I have found them exceptionally rare so you would probably know best what works as well as the kind of look you want.

    3 people like this
  18. Chrissy


     I have a high forehead and some hair recession/thinning there too. I really hope mine will look as good as yours!

    A "pixie cut" seems to be a good option for those things ☺

    2 people like this
  19. EmmaSweet


    I agree with Blue. I loved the way you told your story and the outcome of course, too. I'm not happy with wigs for myself and am going to get it styled in about a month. I have a high forehead and some hair recession/thinning there too. I really hope mine will look as good as yours!

    3 people like this
  20. bluemoon


    Chrissy, congratulations on your hair independence now that you are free to wear your own hair or a wig. I just want to tell you how much I understand the importance of hair to your gender identity and overall sense of self, appearance, and social persona. That has always been an issue with me, beginning in middle childhood when my desire for long hair became a terrible battleground for me with my parents. That made me hypersensitive about it for life. You portrayed your hair unveiling so vividly and I could totally see myself going through a similar thing if I were you or in similar circumstances. I've rarely been entirely happy with how my hair looks and it being as androgynous as I want it to be rather than too male or too female looking. I also have a so far unfulfilled desire for feathers in it, especially ever since I saw Steven Tyler with them years ago on American Idol. 

    3 people like this
  21. Chrissy


    Kitrah,

    I echo Emma in saying that I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. Experiencing pain from surgery can certainly magnify anything else that's going on around you, so I hope that your pain will subside soon!

    The fact that you keep pushing through despite the pain and without the full support of family and friends says a lot about your strength! It is important for us all to know who we are and what we need, but validation from others does help, I hope that you get some of that on this site and hopefully you'll find other people in your life who will offer it as well.

    xoxo

    Chrissy

    3 people like this
  22. EmmaSweet


    I just had mine pierced three weeks ago! It was a little scary and hurt a little but it was over pretty quickly, with new titanium studs in place. They are healing fine, no pain. As far as I can tell they are healed but I've been advised strongly to keep up with the twice daily saline soaks for at least 6 weeks. Okay, better safe than sorry...

  23. EmmaSweet


    Hey Kitrah, sorry you're having a tough time, especially with your family and friends. That, combined with money worries, is a heavy load to carry. I wish I had something helpful to offer. You seem to be thinking it all through very well. Maybe the best thing to do is try to stay patient, heal and get over your physical pain, and keep recording your options. At some point a new path will open for you to try out. Maybe that will be to move out of the US. Or maybe to another area or state. 

    Best wishes to you. I'll be thinking of you.

    Emma

    3 people like this
  24. Chrissy


    There's definitely no such thing as too late ^_^. We always have the rest of our lives.

    I def find it easier to live healthier being out and transitioned - nothing like living authentically to get you to care more about your health!

    3 people like this
  25. bluemoon


    Chrissy, so personal to happen with your sister and must hurt so much but her terrible limitation and loss.

    4 people like this