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  1. Briannah


    The pods moving won't really solve the main problems here, along with the there is absolutely no place to even put one where we are staying currently (the yard is tiny, and so is the driveway, and we have three cars crammed onto it and there is no street parking while a pod was here for a day, the back tiny yard is fenced, no way to put anything in it, and the front yard has a drastic slope.  Secondly, Nikki really doesn't want to carry all the boxes OUT of the basement.  I don't blame him.  So movers is the way to go this time, and let someone else do the schlepping. :)  And, ​I'm cheap.  Why pay a storage fee for my pod when I can continue using the storage it's in now for free. LOL

    I have brought them to my doctor, but most of them don't seem to have a cuase, she ran a bunch of tests and checks over my food diary and sleep log from my fitbit, and can't find a pattern or basic cause for most of it.  :(  So ​apparently I age weird.  She's still plugging away at it though. :)  So ​I'm getting the same result you are, 'everyone ages different, and that's probably the cause!".  Meh.  On the bright side, still only have the smallest amount of gray hair in my roots.  (hair is currently blue, but I can see a bit of root).  It doesnt' really matter to me, if it all went white it would be easier to get the crazy colors I like, but it drives certain annoying members of my family who went gray in high school crazy. 

    1 person likes this
  2. Kitrah


    I just unerstand my place. It can be better but it can be worst. My life was better in the closet. I have girl role. I not sure how all this ppl think they empower. Nd when I’m free this situation where I going to go what I going to do. I unerstand why you just take the abuse. Cuz it alway can be worst. I think I will alway have friends until I wake up and can’t get one pick up the phone. When u don’t have family or normal life this is what there is. You get to loud and ppl just say I don’t want the drama and that’s it. 

    I get it. I’m not the only one. My ex constant torture me say she going tell ppl things and in that way I’m glad I transitioned cuz nothing to say now. No more blackmail. 

    I wish they will bring back term Gender Identity Disorder. Because I have keep up two identities to surviving. And unless u did it you don’t know. Newest trans ppl not going have that apply to them they get be who they are.

     

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  3. Emma


    Dear Kitrah,

    Please internalize Monica’s message. It’s how I feel too. 

    Best wishes,

    Emma

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  4. MonicaPz


    Dear Bree,

    Bring my physical changes to my doctor's attention, only to be told, that's a normal part of aging.

    Am trying to be as active as I can, as you are doing, Bree.

    You may consider PODS moving, where they drop off a container in your yard, you pack your own boxes, and put them into the container, they ship the container to your new house, in your yard and you unpack your own boxes into your new house. The containers come in different sizes and are priced accordingly, along with the distance they are being shipped. Haven't used them, so I can't vouch for them, but it is an idea you can consider.

    Your friend,

    Monica

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  5. MonicaPz


    Dear Natalie, Emma and Bree,

    Didn't take the test because I found it confusing, but some of it resonates with me.

    Have epilepsy, and I can spot people with epilepsy on the sidewalk, especially if it is not well controlled. About half of people with autism have epilepsy.

    Took care of a man with Asperger's Syndrome for 10 years, and I learned a lot taking classes, taking him to support and social groups and attending symposiums on the topic.

    Have issues with loneliness, and I am not sure if it has to do with the fact that I am disabled, poor, or that I am average looking. Must confess I felt more accepted when I lived in Florida (there are many more disabled and poor people there, and, amazingly, they are much more T/LGB-friendly. When I lived in Brooklyn, I was almost as well accepted and well-treated as I was in Florida, and here in upstate New York, I seem to have much greater difficulties than I had in Florida and Brooklyn.

    Thank you for allowing me to share.

    Your friend,

    Monica

     

     

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  6. MonicaPz


    Dear Kitrah,

    No one deserves abuse, physically or emotionally, even though it is epidemic and pandemic in our culture, toward both women and men (men's dirty little secret). 

    We are all healing here, and we are here for you.

    Your friend,

    Monica

    2 people like this
  7. Natalie


    Agree with you about vaccines Briannah, Its well known about Andrew Wakefield and his flawed research, families who have genetic autism like mine we just feel sorry for those who can't accept that their genes carry the answer. Like I pointed out, they would blame the family dog instead of themselves or their relatives :) 

    3 people like this
  8. Briannah


    I would just like to pipe up ant say, the claims about autism with vaccines?   The original author made it up.  He made up the study, and it came out on scrutiny originally that the tests were poorly controlled and done, but he later admitted he'd pretty much made up most of it.  Unfortunately, there is a large population of the population who will not hear that, or all the studies about it.  My best friend's son has autism, so I sporadically follow the new related to it, and often get directed to interesting things by her.  

    I'm glad it brought you peace.  Learning what my disorder is and isn't(add), and where I can separate out behavior issues alongside it and improve as well as coping mechanisms for the actual disorder has brought me much peace.  I have not asked for concessions from people, just let them know I have the disorder and that is why I need to make so many notes for myself learning a new position for example.  So when my brain is jumping around like crazy I have a visual reference to reorient with.  I still get accused of playing the 'add' card.  People get weird with a mental disorder.  Like the brain is some sacred incorruptible organ, rather than a flesh and blood organ that can go wrong like a kidney or a heart or lung.  Mental health really is just another form of physical health at the end of the day, something has gone wrong in an organ, and we have stigmatized it to be something else so we can blame victims instead of helping them it feels like sometimes. :(  You can't find a solution or treatment for an illness wtihout understanding the illness, adn it's causes. 

    3 people like this
  9. Emma


    I took the test and here are my results:

    Your AQ Test Score is: 31. The official criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome is an AQ score greater than 32. According to statistical analysis, 26 – 31 Is a borderline score. 86% of people with a score of 26-31 can be correctly classified as having Asperger’s Syndrome.

    Wow! That's so interesting. I think it's accurate to say that I'm borderline if anything. Still, maybe this adds some perspective and context about what I've experienced in my life. I may very well bring it up with my therapist next week to get her viewpoint. She's amazingly perceptive. 

    I wonder what therapists feel about this test. For example, the COGIATI test is available for people to "test" whether or not they are trans. IMHO it's hogwash. More like a parlor game than anything substantive. 

    2 people like this
  10. Natalie


    Thanks Emma, it really is something I have studied and researched about since my kids diagnosis. It would appear that there is a significant number of people who deny everything, like its some kind of fatal disease when their children get a diagnosis. They would blame the family dog if they thought it was possible, not their genes, but it has to come from somewhere. People like me on the spectrum are amused about this because its given me so many abilities, I am a detailed colour pencil artist, I know that is something  I could or couldn't be regardless of my dis 'ability' but its also something that autism has enhanced. I never stop learning, its something I have to do, ask questions all the time, #neverstop thats me, No.5 is alive.....need input :)

    It does have its negatives, isolation, lack of face to face and telephone communication skills, unable to read social cues, (big one that, I talk too much, or not enough and eventually say nothing at all) I misinterpret other people......one thing that we all do on the spectrum when looking at a face, its always the mouth/teeth that we concentrate on, the eyes are almost totally avoided. I'm not unhappy being trans and autistic, it makes me who I am :)  

    For anyone who is inquisitive enough, here is a test, it means nothing but its a standard test that gives someone an idea about their personality.
    https://www.aspergerstestsite.com/aq-test/

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  11. Emma


    Very interesting, thank you Natalie. I looked up autism traits to see if I might have any. Some are a bit familiar but on the whole I don't seem to fit. I well understand how much better you feel having your own diagnosis. Perhaps it similar to how I felt as I came to understand that I'm trans, it's not my fault or some sort of predilection. What if it was? I think I'd have a much harder time claiming my space in the world. 

    Sorry, I didn't mean for my comment to be about me. I just wanted to give you some support.

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  12. Natalie


    Apologies Monica, the description of your transit ride and library gave and what has happened gave me the wrong impression.

    You're right though about libraries, they have always been a place where one can go and find a bit of quiet time for study and reflection, not to be harassed by the worst of society for any reason. Society is becoming worse in so many ways, its not just in your country, mine is much the same, we appear to be going backwards in that regard.

    I hope you have a better day today :) 

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  13. MonicaPz


    Dear Not Allowed,

    Am not transgender, but a cisgender Lesbian who is an ally.

    Have been mistaken for a transwoman several times.

    Am a member of the Mid-Hudson Valley Transgender Association.

    Seems like the bullying comes in waves. Not surprised that this happened after the New Year, because people get on a high through Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. During these three holidays, it seems people are on their best behavior.

    Am amazed to see this BEHAVIOR in a LIBRARY. Has always been my experience that libraries bring out the best in people, like churches, but no more for either! 

    Had a bad day today.

    Thank you for your friendship.

    Gratefully Yours,

    Monica

     

     

    1 person likes this
  14. Natalie


    Dear NotAllowed and Emma,

    Have noticed that there is a more "rough crowd" riding the bus and subway, as well as visiting the library, 

    As for the bus, I try to ride as close as possible to the driver (in the front).

    In the subway, I try to ride in the FIRST card (by the conductor) but I notice that there are more "conductor-less" cars, but I would still try to ride in the first car.

     

     

    ​Hi Monica, I really hope that you are able to overcome what appears to be a terrible time you are having at the moment. I don't know your transition history but building up a resistance to these bullies is vital, its not easy but the more you are able to the easier it becomes. Hurtful words and verbal attacks are dreadful but please remember that it says more about them than you. I know thats cold comfort when all you want to do is be yourself, but try not to isolate yourself too much. Is there any transgender support where you live like groups and clubs perhaps?

    If I can be of any help with advice etc, please let me know, (((hug)))  

    2 people like this
  15. Natalie


    The first motivation I had was when I made contact with one of my cousins (I have two that are trans) and her voice was perfect. This was way back in 1978, that was my first attempt at transitioning. She explained to me that by pushing my voice to an octave higher is what I needed to achieve. At the time the BeeGees were all the rage, Saturday Night Fever and all the songs that flowed from that album were in the chart. So thats where I began, and very soon I could feel the muscles developing. My throat became sore, and when that happened I allowed my overstretched larynx to rest. But that of course produced a reasonable falsetto with no tonal quality.

    I am autistic too, now that came in real handy because imitating people is what we do, its how we learn to interact with others. I started imitating natural female voices, in fact I pick up accents quickly and accurately, a lot autistic people do that apparently. All of these different exercises helped a lot, like training any set of muscles, and eventually a natural tone developed. I eventually went to a voice therapist because I wanted to make sure I hadn't damaged my vocal chords and what she had to say amounted to a brilliant pat on back. She said, "There is absolutely nothing I can do to help you, in fact your voice is exactly how it should sound. You have achieved what I try to teach people in your position, lift the larynx higher up and then slide it backwards." So what I am doing essentially is to use my throat muscles to squeeze the larynx, and then my oral cavity and sinuses for volume control. 

    A better vocal sound is achieved just by singing along with female singers, or male falsetto voices that have a mature tone, I used my favourite Motown group, the Temptations, their falsetto lead was Eddie Kendricks, (and others) and black singers seem to have that more developed voices at higher ranges. Luther Vandross is another good voice trainer, helps with the tonal values. Once the pitch has been achieved its a case of adjusting the tone to create perfection, the more control of the tone is vital, it gives you the ability to bring emotion into the voice, soften and/or harden how you speak. 

    Having a good voice increases confidence, it is key and I have always recommended this any new transitioners to work on it, because it will confuse those bigots like hell.....and I love taking on bigots :D 

     

    I have another trans friend (Joanna Santos, Toronto) who also moves about society in complete stealth. Like you, she taught herself about her voice. I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you achieved that. My voice coach is wonderful and I hope to "graduate" within a couple of months. It's pretty expensive and, I believe, I am steadily improving on playing my "instrument" (as she calls it) and will be able to at least join the junior orchestra. 

     

           

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  16. MonicaPz


    Dear Emma, Lori and Briannah,

    Thank you for your birthday wishes.  Am proudly age 60.

    Emma, I love the pictures of your cat.

    Will be writing about this milestone soon.

    Yours truly,

    Monica

     

     

    2 people like this
  17. MonicaPz


    Dear NotAllowed and Emma,

    Have noticed that there is a more "rough crowd" riding the bus and subway, as well as visiting the library, 

    As for the bus, I try to ride as close as possible to the driver (in the front).

    In the subway, I try to ride in the FIRST card (by the conductor) but I notice that there are more "conductor-less" cars, but I would still try to ride in the first car.

    In the library, I try to use the computer/tables as close to the librarians at the front desk as possible.

    Always carry a "Five Star Responder," by Great Call (www.greatcall.com) and if I press the "panic button" for 5 seconds or less, I get a trained operator, and if I press it for 6 seconds or more, I get BOTH the operator and police.  Also,my exact location shows up on the operator's and police's map.

    Just before I wrote this, I was harassed by two Latina/Hispanic young women (for what reason, I don't know) and had to report them to the librarian.

    This is one of the reasons I am saving up to get my own computer, so I don't have to go to the library as often.  Hate using the public computer as I feel so vulnerable.

    The trans- and homophobia here in upstate New York is so oppressive!

    Yours truly,

    Monica

     

     

     

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  18. Emma


    Yes, it is a great feeling. I've recently adopted a mantra that helps me a lot:

    Whenever we feel fear we're up against a kind of wall... on the other side of the wall is a kind of freedom.

    I feel these fears fairly often and use the freedom I know I'll feel to motivate me to climb the wall and jump to the other side. 

    I have another trans friend (Joanna Santos, Toronto) who also moves about society in complete stealth. Like you, she taught herself about her voice. I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you achieved that. My voice coach is wonderful and I hope to "graduate" within a couple of months. It's pretty expensive and, I believe, I am steadily improving on playing my "instrument" (as she calls it) and will be able to at least join the junior orchestra. 

    That said I'm lucky to live where I am, in Seattle. I dress nicely and appropriately and even though I doubt I pass anyone's scrutiny everyone is very nice to me. My goals for having a truly feminine voice are to remove a cognitive dissonance I feel when I hear myself speak, and to help people I meet more automatically gender me appropriately. And yet, the wall of a passable voice is quite steep and tall for me. 

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  19. Natalie


    Great feeling isn't it? I am pleased that my blog has given you encouragement and hope.

    I have just had a visit to my doorstep of two 'Witnesses' and while I am not into their version of religion, I am a Spiritualist and we had a good conversation about our different views.....they never had an idea I am trans, its something I keep very well under wraps, totally stealth. My voice is indiscernible now from any other woman, eventually they had to go, I had talked them into oblivion. Thats the power of getting the voice correct, great tool to have in your armoury.

    Any other help I can offer please ask, I have many achievements and adventures and if any of the experience can aid someone I would be delighted to describe how I overcame the problems.

    2 people like this
  20. Emma


    Yes, VERY interesting and useful. I’m very early in my transition (almost 6 months) and well remember my fears of riding the metro train to the downtown area for my weekly voice lessons. It’s no big deal now; I’m grateful for that. Now that I’ve read your thoughts I feel a contentment that my transition is going well too.

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  21. Briannah


    I hope yours turns out as well!  And that the getting it ready is as painless as possible!  It's the first time I ever sold a house, so... it was a wee bit overwhelming.  I don't do well with first time situations.  Summer is a great time in my neighborhood too, you get the college kids whose parents realize buying a house for four years is acdtually cheaper than the dorms at the local SERIOUSLY overpriced university.  

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  22. Lori


    Good luck Briannah!  I'm preparing to place a house on the market. I'd rather wait for summer but a life situation is pushing for a faster sale.  It is a rental property, so nobody worry about me being homeless. Hope all turns out well for your sale. :) ​

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