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  1. Emma


    "De-AFLAC" sounds like a great idea. I was also considering what I should do tomorrow. I'm retired and have so much to do in my fixer-upper house, I could definitely work all day tomorrow. We all need to decompress and that's what I plan to do. Maybe spend the day in my nightgown and pink fluffy robe, reading a little, napping, and just downshifting. Monday comes soon enough!

    I do think it's important to keep track of little things you can do and/or look forward to during the week or anytime. For example I plan to stop by a nearby Vietnamese restaurant on the way home late Monday afternoon to buy a take-out order of their vegetarian appetizer rolls. For $3.85 they are a delicious, nutritious and cheap meal that I'll enjoy that evening for dinner. "It's the little things."

    Emma

    2 people like this
  2. Emma


    So much training is hard to absorb in such a short time. I hope you have plenty of time and experiences in between so the training has relevance for you.

    1 person likes this
  3. MichelleLea


    Oh, the trials and tribulations of life. Getting what we don't want, and not getting what we want. BTW, I have a date with the dental hygienist tomorrow. Lovely lady. We always have a lot to chat about.

    1 person likes this
  4. MichelleLea


    Wow! I'm impressed. You are doing it, and I think you should be so proud of yourself. It is a process, isn't it? You're overcoming your fears is paying off though, as it is becoming more natural for you to be out as you. I don't know that I'll get that far, but who knows? As it turns out there is a CD boutique in the same industrial park where I have been making my calls. Maybe I can network with the trans community here both as a customer and an agent. Just a thought. I'd like to find a trans friendly hair stylist who could cut my hair so that it could be both masculine and feminine. Wouldn't that be neat. It was also International Day of the Girl. I only knew it was coming out day becuase I saw a tweet by Ellen. Now I know better. Anyway, again, good for you, Emma!

    3 people like this
  5. MichelleLea


    Thanks as usual for your astute comments. It's nice to hear another gal semi-colon user. I think you know that I used to teach English , and grammar and punctuation were my forte. (I don't think it's taught that much anymore, at least not that I could tell). I will keep the Ben Franklin close in mind. The next step is sitting down with the prospect and determining how we can meet their needs. I will have high-powered help with that part until I'm up-to-speed. Right now, I have 7 appointments  set for next week. Some may be single, direct sales; others maybe the business. We'll see.

    2 people like this
  6. Emma


    I’m the Queen of the Semi-Colon! I use it all the time. It’s such a handy punctuation.

    You’re awesome, BTW, how you’re cold calling, taking the negatives in stride, and collecting appointments. Look girl, you’re going to knock this one out of the park. Let’s see, your cold-call to appointment rate is maybe 10% right? Maybe your close rate is 25% of the appointments. Maybe higher, we’ll see. You have four appointments I think, so aim to close. 

    Did they teach you the “Benjamin Franklin close?” You take a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle from top to bottom, and tell them that this is how ol’ Ben made hard decisions. The left side is where he listed reasons he should go with the proposal, and the right side is where he put negative reasons. You offer to help by slowly filling in the left side with benefits that the prospect agreed with. And when you’re done you let them try to fill in the right side. They quickly can’t think of much and it’s apparent looking at the paper what he should do: go to with your proposal. 

    Good luck!

    Emma

    2 people like this
  7. Chrissy


    Monica,

    That seems like it might have been a little while ago? From what I've learned there aren't any time limits. What matters is how much, if at all, the grieving process is interfering with daily living. It can certainly go beyond 2 years (my parents died 13 years ago and I still have moments of grieving)

    Chrissy

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  8. MonicaPz


    Dear Friends,

    Just because you have known a person for a long time, doesn't mean they will grow parallel to you.  

    Emma, I hate to say this, but this man hasn't grown much since the first grade when you knew him.  By the way, education does not always imply maturity.

    When I attended my 10 year high school reunion, I was amazed that those who attended looked and acted as if they graduated YESTERDAY.  Asked to be taken off the mailing list!

    When I moved to Dutchess County, I reunited with a friend of mine from high school and I wondered why I was ever friends with her.  She did not look or act like she had grown at all, and she and I had graduated 40 years ago!

    My youngest brother, he claimed he did not recognize me on an emotional or physical level in the ten years we were out of touch.  Took this as a compliment!  

    The upshot is that we all grow at different rates and directions.  Even if we compare ourselves to ourselves, every ten years every cell in our body is replaced, and if we are growing at a healthy pace, we should show significant differences every ten years.  Even when I look at myself from six months ago, a year ago or two years ago, I see significant change in myself.

    By the way, that man was just plain RUDE!

    Your friend,

    Monica

     

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  9. MonicaPz


    Dear MichelleLea, Emma and Chrissy,

    When my mother lost my father due to heart disease, she joined an organization called, "Widow to Widow," which was free, run by a woman psychologist.  My mother got a lot out of it, but the greatest thing she got out of it was that the grieving period should last no more than two years.  This is the point that the widow should clear out and give to charity the unusable property of the deceased partner.  The psychologist said it was unhealthy to grieve beyond two years, and that the survivor should get counseling.

    Hope this helps.

    Your friend,

    Monica

     

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  10. MonicaPz


    Dear Chrissy,

    Strongly feel that transwomen are "real" women, and those that identify as Lesbian are "real" Lesbians, as well as those that are Straight women.  Have always looked in between the ears ("character counts").

    This also goes for transmen.  

    Want to emphasize I feel this way both about pre-op and post-op, pre-hormones and post hormones.

    Somehow, I can sense the gender and sexual orientation ("gaydar") energy of people, and beyond, the beyond I can not discuss here, as that would require a book!

    Have to accept that some others do not have this capability, and they have a lot of confusion about it.

    Just wished that people who do not understand something, did not feel the need to be hostile about it, but just accept that they do not understand it at this place and time.  By the way, there are many things I do not understand, and I accept these things as things I do not understand yet.  Hope that makes sense!

    Your friend,

    Monica

     

    1 person likes this
  11. MichelleLea


    We still have a long way to go in this country. Your encounter, unfortunately, is pretty typical of what you get for feedback. I don't think that anyone who is not trans really has any understanding of what it's all about.

    3 people like this
  12. Emma


    Ah, a relaxing Sunday! I woke up lazy but couldn’t help from having a busy day:

    • Worked on my voice feminization exercises, of which I’ve been delinquent. Reminds me of college when I’m supposed to be studying and find myself cleaning out my refrigerator.
    • Ordered a whole bunch of lumber to build simple shelves in the basement.
    • Bought a bunch of stuff at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, taking advantage of their 20% off coupon.
    • Returned a new women’s jacket at Nordstrom Rack (had a hole in it) and bought another better one. Proud of myself that I unflinchingly told the clerk that they were mine! She didn’t bat an eye which was no surprise.
    • Groceries at a Trader Joe’s. Have you tried their Crisp Bread? It’s so tasty and pretty healthy too. I love TJ’s!
    2 people like this
  13. MichelleLea


    Emma, I always appreciate your comments and your willingness to share your experiences with me. I have come to the conclusion that life is one big learning curve, and as long as we keep learning, we'll be okay. I like your thoughts on reflective practice. By going over how we can do better, we do improve. Then, it's a matter of practicing the right things. At least, I'm on my way. I'll take it a step at a time. Love.

    3 people like this
  14. Chrissy


    You never need to apologize for feeling sad or down. Grieving isn't a predictable or linear process, it's completely natural to feel it for almost any length of time. I can imagine how getting checks with just your name could trigger it.

    It's good to hear that writing about it helps. Keep writing! It's also perfectly normal to want or need some sympathy - so don't hesitate to say when you're feeling down.

    Xoxo

    Chrissy

    2 people like this
  15. Emma


    I can recommend many books. Tell me what you like and I’ll send titles! 

    It’s to be expected that you’re feeling down. Sure, it’s fun and all to be on your own, to dress when and how you like. But longer term you’re without your wife and that is sad. Give yourself the patience, caring, and support you need to work it out. It may take quite a while, there is no certain path or timeline. 

    I wish you well, sleep tight,

    Emma

    2 people like this
  16. MonicaPz


    Dear MichelleLea,

    My heart and prayers are with you.  I KNOW you can do it!

    Selling insurance is a challenge because you are selling PEACE OF MIND, and it is an abstract concept rather than a concrete object.

    Am cheering for you!

    Your friend,

    Monica

    1 person likes this
  17. Emma


    I'm pretty laid-bak too, and now that I re-read my comment I'm thankful you didn't misunderstand me. i didn't mean to say that you're having the troubles I wrote about. When I was writing I was remembering my first experiences in sales. Although I was in a professional sales role (like you) I feared that people would expect me to be like a used-car salesperson, or think of me that way. I also remember getting hit with objections that I didn't have an answer for. Each time as I drove to the following appointment I'd replay the exchange in my mind and almost always come up with a friendly and effective come back. I was proud of myself later to be able to use those come backs during meetings! 

    Yes, slow and steady. That's often been tough for me!

    XXXOOOXXX

    Emma

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  18. Emma


    Attagirl, Michelle! There is a lot to learn. But your approach and attitude will help you so much. Try emulating your manager and soon you’ll find your own style and voice. Handling objections is tough, especially the first time for each one. After, you may wish you’d countered with something and sure, the meeting might have gone better. But each time you learn more, and next time you’ll be better prepared. 

    Many people think sales is easy, for those who speak quickly and able to convince people to buy. In fact, sales roles are hard and sleaziness doesn’t work. Stay patient with yourself, learn each day, and in a short time you’ll feel empowered and see how you’re offering a real and valuable service to your customers and your company.

    Emma

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