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jennifer38 : (20 December 2014 - 03:43 PM) I'd like to thank everyone who dialed into my phone conference, earlier today.  It was a wonderful time.  Lord willing, I plan to do more of these after the holidays.  I will announce one as time gets nearer.
carrell : (19 December 2014 - 01:40 PM) Any members in New Mexico ?
jennifer38 : (19 December 2014 - 12:16 PM) I still plan to have another phone conference, tomorrow.  All members are invited.  Details are on the calendar.
UsernameOpti... : (18 December 2014 - 07:55 PM) Happy Birthday to stephani
MonicaPz : (18 December 2014 - 06:17 PM) Happy birthday, Stephani!
AshMich1945 : (18 December 2014 - 10:57 AM) Hello...my name when I'm transformed, is Ashleigh Michelle James. I'm a lifelong cd/tg from sw Connecticut. I've been fascinated by female attire and femininity since I was very young. Now that I'm mature, I can enjoy all the benefits of being a woman. I hope to meet many more members from CT and share my experiences with them as well as possibly go out for shopping trips, coffee latches and brunch.
CharityLynnC... : (16 December 2014 - 01:24 AM) lol
veronicabeta : (15 December 2014 - 10:16 PM) Recalling all the times I cursed "dial up" and was worried the Interweb might have become self aware !
UsernameOpti... : (15 December 2014 - 09:30 PM) Duct tape, bailing wire, bubble gum and a good hammer will usually fix nearly anything!
Lori : (15 December 2014 - 08:43 PM) Sorry about the outage today. We had server problems but banging on it with a hammer seemed to work! ;)
CharityLynnC... : (15 December 2014 - 08:22 PM) what in the world cause this site to be down for a day...lol..tried to get on and got an sql server error..
jennifer38 : (15 December 2014 - 10:56 AM) I plan to hold another conference this Saturday at 3 PM Eastern.  For those who came to the last one, the number and meeting ID are the same.  Anybody who does not have the number and is interested, please message me, as I've been advised to not openly post the number and ID for fear of them falling into the hands of troublemakers.  Also, anytime I bring up religion and The Bible, it is not meant to intimidate or embarrass anyone.  I'm sorry if anyone feels put down, because I have no intentions of doing so.  In spite of my transgender feelings, I have a deep love for Christ, but I respect those who don't believe like I do.  My goal of these telephone chats is simply to create a telephone hang-out for us fellow trans on all levels of the spectrum, and for our allies.  I hope to see you all there.
cross2play : (13 December 2014 - 07:57 PM) I cross dresser 1st time in days & walked on high street as her it was amazingly incredible : cdsing in moderation he he !
PamalaFlinn : (12 December 2014 - 02:56 PM) Jay P . I am in Baltimore sometimes.
MonicaPz : (12 December 2014 - 01:15 PM) Jen, it was great, and I can't wait!
jennifer38 : (12 December 2014 - 01:12 PM) I thank everybody who called into my telephone conference.  It was wonderful.  I feel good about talking to others and hearing their perspectives.  Lord willing, I will hold another one, soon.  The conference number and ID will always be the same.  I will let you all know when I plan to do this, again.  God bless you all.
JayPea25 : (12 December 2014 - 11:50 AM) Anyone in Baltimore!?
veronicabeta : (12 December 2014 - 12:16 AM) Dug the Vid Warren. T.Y.!
Bonnie : (11 December 2014 - 02:45 PM) Fun video, Warren, except for the ending.  The jumping while running hand in hand.  It is good to see a video like this though.  Thank you.
jennifer38 : (11 December 2014 - 11:41 AM) This is a reminder about my telephone conference, tomorrow afternoon at 3 EST.  Come out and enjoy yourself.  This is a general chat about our various transgender feelings and issues.  This is a great way to get to know one another better.  Details are in the calendar.  If you have any questions, please message me.  Hope to see you there, tomorrow.





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An introduction!

Posted by suzettedefemme , 05 December 2011 · 159 views

Well, I suppose that i am writing this blog not only as a journal, but also as a bit of a release of the feelings, emotions and experiences that have led me here!
This is the story of the transformation from a supposed‘normal guy’, who had given everything, physically, emotionally and mentally, to try so desperately to save his marriage! All he recieved in return was simply to be pushed away by his wife, who said that she didn’t love him any more, and step kids, who simply used, or abused him (verbally with threats of physical!)  I knew that it would be a slow process. The healing, which had to take place, would take time, before the rebuilding could come, mentally, and emotionally, I had nothing left, I was on the verge of an intense breakdown, a black hole from which I knew there would be no escape, I no longer knew who I was, who I wanted to be, or what lay ahead.
The only thing I did understand that to stay would push me over the edge, and I would never come back, so I did what I had to, I got out!
There were many tears, many screams, times I just sat there numb. My new place is peaceful though, with lots of areas for walks and solitude, just what I needed to help me discover myself!
Then, in the depths of despair, i reached deep inside, and remembered a part of myself that i had hidden and suppressed for so long that i had almost forgotten, and, once again, just had she had done so many times before, Suzy reached out, and came to rescue me!
slowly, piece by piece, Suzy re-entered my life, helping me cope, helping me survive, giving me the strength to continue. Gradually, the realisation began to dawn on me, Suzette de Femme was not ‘guiding’, ‘inspiring’ or helping me to ‘rebuild my life’, no, it was far more than that, ‘Suzy’ was my life, my soul, and it was not Suzy who was helping me to carry on, it was SUZETTE who WAS getting on with my life!
Life’s still no bed of roses, and, I think, it never will be, though it does seem to be getting more ‘rose tinted’. The friends i’ve made through networking have been a fantastic support (thankyou again, love you all. x x x), and feedback so far has been very positive. I know that some things will take time, and others will hurt, but I’m so used to hurting now, and at least, I suppose, I have some measure of control over what happens next.
However, i have rediscovered some of my self belief, and I just know I’ll survive and become stronger.
I don't honestly know what the future holds for me at the moment, or the role i will eventually take, things are still very tense between myself and my ex, who is, at the moment putting immense pressure on me, especially regarding my stepson, whom i love to bits, and couldn't bear to lose, so i have to keep my true self hidden in most ways at the moment! I don't know whom i'm lying to more though, them or me!! Only time will tell, i suppose!
well, thats part of the story so far, there's more which is too painful to get out at the moment, maybe one day, but hopefully time to move forwards and start enjoying life again!
XXxxxx

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Thanks for sharing your story. We can all relate to elements of your experiences so you're among friends here. May you find your place on the transgender spectrum, along with happiness and fulfillment in life. :)
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PlagueBubonic
Dec 07 2011 11:01 AM
Dear Ms. Suezett
Sorry ,thing like that happened to you; you seem like a nice person. If I may add that this, thought life changing experance has help you embrace the truth about who you are; all the better for you!! Rembember life starts NOW!! and,
"that which does not kill us only makes us stronger."
Peace Out >^.^<
PS If you ever need a friend please look me up
I listen and try to help. BIG HUGZZZZ
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suzettedefemme
Dec 07 2011 04:01 PM
thankyou both so much, means so much to me at the moment! Xxxx
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