Jump to content

Change
VISITORS: Your access to view photos and site information is limited as a guest.
Click here to join now


Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

Bobbirox : (17 April 2015 - 05:06 PM) Good evening everyone. I hope everyone is having a great day.
Missymarieme : (17 April 2015 - 02:06 PM) good afternoon ....Can I say I hate dishes ....
jennifer38 : (17 April 2015 - 07:41 AM) Hello to all newcomers and regular visitors to this website.  It's shaping up to be a beautiful day in the Pittsburgh area in spite of a little rain.
Bobbirox : (17 April 2015 - 06:29 AM) I spent a couple of weeks at Ft. Drum when I was in the National Guard.  Hated those 2 weeks. LOL!
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 07:29 PM) wow Albany I did a big project at fort drum in the 80's
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 07:28 PM) I'm in a small college town called alamosa its southern Colorado valley aera
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:39 PM) I am near the Albany area.
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:39 PM) Where in CO Missymarieme?
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:29 PM) Of course living in Colorado is not much different lol
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:27 PM) Hello Bobbirox I use to date a girl from buffalo just to cold me up there
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:21 PM) Hello everyone from Upstate NY. New to the site and looking to make friends. :D
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:17 PM) :)
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:14 PM) Hi everyone wishing everyone a good night from Colorado where it is snowing right now
veronicabeta : (15 April 2015 - 03:32 PM) Hi missysoul! Glad to see you here! :)
missysoul : (15 April 2015 - 01:46 PM) My english not good for now bud I am learning english :)
missysoul : (15 April 2015 - 01:45 PM) hi :)
ViBetaSCOT : (15 April 2015 - 06:49 AM) doing ok just a little bored
kasandra : (14 April 2015 - 02:36 AM) HI everybody! i just got home from school :) how's everyone doing? :)
ViBetaSCOT : (14 April 2015 - 02:12 AM) and I feel like everyone should have a good week.
ViBetaSCOT : (14 April 2015 - 01:46 AM) sorry haven't been around much lately.ButI hope everyone is doing well.





Photo * * * * * 1 votes

An introduction!

Posted by suzettedefemme , 05 December 2011 · 174 views

Well, I suppose that i am writing this blog not only as a journal, but also as a bit of a release of the feelings, emotions and experiences that have led me here!
This is the story of the transformation from a supposed‘normal guy’, who had given everything, physically, emotionally and mentally, to try so desperately to save his marriage! All he recieved in return was simply to be pushed away by his wife, who said that she didn’t love him any more, and step kids, who simply used, or abused him (verbally with threats of physical!)  I knew that it would be a slow process. The healing, which had to take place, would take time, before the rebuilding could come, mentally, and emotionally, I had nothing left, I was on the verge of an intense breakdown, a black hole from which I knew there would be no escape, I no longer knew who I was, who I wanted to be, or what lay ahead.
The only thing I did understand that to stay would push me over the edge, and I would never come back, so I did what I had to, I got out!
There were many tears, many screams, times I just sat there numb. My new place is peaceful though, with lots of areas for walks and solitude, just what I needed to help me discover myself!
Then, in the depths of despair, i reached deep inside, and remembered a part of myself that i had hidden and suppressed for so long that i had almost forgotten, and, once again, just had she had done so many times before, Suzy reached out, and came to rescue me!
slowly, piece by piece, Suzy re-entered my life, helping me cope, helping me survive, giving me the strength to continue. Gradually, the realisation began to dawn on me, Suzette de Femme was not ‘guiding’, ‘inspiring’ or helping me to ‘rebuild my life’, no, it was far more than that, ‘Suzy’ was my life, my soul, and it was not Suzy who was helping me to carry on, it was SUZETTE who WAS getting on with my life!
Life’s still no bed of roses, and, I think, it never will be, though it does seem to be getting more ‘rose tinted’. The friends i’ve made through networking have been a fantastic support (thankyou again, love you all. x x x), and feedback so far has been very positive. I know that some things will take time, and others will hurt, but I’m so used to hurting now, and at least, I suppose, I have some measure of control over what happens next.
However, i have rediscovered some of my self belief, and I just know I’ll survive and become stronger.
I don't honestly know what the future holds for me at the moment, or the role i will eventually take, things are still very tense between myself and my ex, who is, at the moment putting immense pressure on me, especially regarding my stepson, whom i love to bits, and couldn't bear to lose, so i have to keep my true self hidden in most ways at the moment! I don't know whom i'm lying to more though, them or me!! Only time will tell, i suppose!
well, thats part of the story so far, there's more which is too painful to get out at the moment, maybe one day, but hopefully time to move forwards and start enjoying life again!
XXxxxx

Attached thumbnail(s)

  • Attached Image





Thanks for sharing your story. We can all relate to elements of your experiences so you're among friends here. May you find your place on the transgender spectrum, along with happiness and fulfillment in life. :)
  • Report

PlagueBubonic
Dec 07 2011 11:01 AM
Dear Ms. Suezett
Sorry ,thing like that happened to you; you seem like a nice person. If I may add that this, thought life changing experance has help you embrace the truth about who you are; all the better for you!! Rembember life starts NOW!! and,
"that which does not kill us only makes us stronger."
Peace Out >^.^<
PS If you ever need a friend please look me up
I listen and try to help. BIG HUGZZZZ
  • Report

suzettedefemme
Dec 07 2011 04:01 PM
thankyou both so much, means so much to me at the moment! Xxxx
  • Report

April 2015

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
121314151617 18
19202122232425
2627282930  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories