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Bobbirox : (17 April 2015 - 05:06 PM) Good evening everyone. I hope everyone is having a great day.
Missymarieme : (17 April 2015 - 02:06 PM) good afternoon ....Can I say I hate dishes ....
jennifer38 : (17 April 2015 - 07:41 AM) Hello to all newcomers and regular visitors to this website.  It's shaping up to be a beautiful day in the Pittsburgh area in spite of a little rain.
Bobbirox : (17 April 2015 - 06:29 AM) I spent a couple of weeks at Ft. Drum when I was in the National Guard.  Hated those 2 weeks. LOL!
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 07:29 PM) wow Albany I did a big project at fort drum in the 80's
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 07:28 PM) I'm in a small college town called alamosa its southern Colorado valley aera
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:39 PM) I am near the Albany area.
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:39 PM) Where in CO Missymarieme?
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:29 PM) Of course living in Colorado is not much different lol
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:27 PM) Hello Bobbirox I use to date a girl from buffalo just to cold me up there
Bobbirox : (16 April 2015 - 06:21 PM) Hello everyone from Upstate NY. New to the site and looking to make friends. :D
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:17 PM) :)
Missymarieme : (16 April 2015 - 06:14 PM) Hi everyone wishing everyone a good night from Colorado where it is snowing right now
veronicabeta : (15 April 2015 - 03:32 PM) Hi missysoul! Glad to see you here! :)
missysoul : (15 April 2015 - 01:46 PM) My english not good for now bud I am learning english :)
missysoul : (15 April 2015 - 01:45 PM) hi :)
ViBetaSCOT : (15 April 2015 - 06:49 AM) doing ok just a little bored
kasandra : (14 April 2015 - 02:36 AM) HI everybody! i just got home from school :) how's everyone doing? :)
ViBetaSCOT : (14 April 2015 - 02:12 AM) and I feel like everyone should have a good week.
ViBetaSCOT : (14 April 2015 - 01:46 AM) sorry haven't been around much lately.ButI hope everyone is doing well.





Photo * * * * * 1 votes

A Surprising Lack of Fervour

Posted by lilybf , 29 April 2012 · 247 views

I don't believe I've said it before, but it should be noted that these blog posts are (and are going to be) mostly stream-of-thought pieces with minimal editing.

Studies have found, I am told, that emotion cannot be maintained for significant periods of time. Whether a person's life and environment are good and bad, key moments not withstanding, most people will keep a dull and steady equilibrium of neutrality.

Perhaps that theory can explain why I do not on a daily basis tear my hair out, shriek myself hoarse or attempt to throw myself from some precipice or other. I rarely shake myself to pieces with self-loathing and fear I will never begin to approach my ideal - feminine - self image. Weeks can go by in emotional mediocrity, where I might almost be resigned to remaining... as I am.

I wonder, am I unusual in this as a transitioning would-be-woman. Does it show a death of hope? Or, more terrifyingly still, that I was mistaken all along?

Am I, in fact, cismale?

No, that can't be right, I am sure of that much at least. I react to that thought as I might to the existential horror of realising I am some inhuman, Lovecraftian being.

But still... the concern remains - why do I not feel as keenly as I might?




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