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UsernameOpti... : (26 February 2015 - 09:36 PM) Welcome to all the new members who have joined over the past few days!
TJDavies : (23 February 2015 - 05:22 PM) I hope to be a part of the next call x_x I keep on missing them.
Mattie20008 : (22 February 2015 - 11:25 AM) Thanks all for the great phone call yesterday...
EmmaSweet : (21 February 2015 - 10:01 AM) Cross2play: Please check the calendar entry for today. The conference call info is published there. I'll also send you a PM with this information.
cross2play : (21 February 2015 - 09:06 AM) RSVP I will try make it but where is phone chat as am on mobile device?
MonicaPz : (17 February 2015 - 06:38 PM) To RSVP for the weekly phone chat, under "upcoming calendar events," click on "weekly phone chat" that is on the right of "community calendar."
Mattie20008 : (17 February 2015 - 12:27 PM) Haha, I was having coffee with my daughter and we noticed- we were wearing the same shoes : )
veronicabeta : (16 February 2015 - 05:11 PM) Happy Birthday spikysam, wherever you are! :)
veronicabeta : (16 February 2015 - 03:29 AM) OK UsernameOptional. Understood. have to learn to type better or proofread better, but that works for me ! :)
UsernameOpti... : (15 February 2015 - 04:46 PM) The shoutbox is just that - for making a shout out like for announcements, birthdays, bringing a thread to the attention of members, etc.  Posting things in the shoutbox leaves no opportunity for discussion.  And if those who happen to notice do go into a little chat, it can scroll off before anyone knew it even existed.  And unfortunately, the edit feature is kaputt whether your session is active or timed out.
veronicabeta : (15 February 2015 - 02:51 PM) Hey, LUV the shout box, but is anyone else having issues with the "edit" shout feature. I'm on my six core gaming system now, and when I tried to edit my last shout, after hitting the edit button in the edit dialogue box, it just timed out?
veronicabeta : (15 February 2015 - 02:48 PM) What? Disnosaurs are evil? Don' tell that to Godzilla! He doesn't take insults well. She might wake up and go all "Spanish Inquisition" on the Human race.
DanielleCaswell : (14 February 2015 - 11:46 PM) one thing i cant stand is stupid christians thinking that dinosaurs can cause a child to think bestially  and bite  someone. id love  to smack the woman who is leading this stupid crap... http://guff.com/chri...ids/20?ts_pid=2
veronicabeta : (14 February 2015 - 12:51 AM) Happy B-day michellesmithuk, SexyKikyo32 and jesseboo ! :)
DaniellaQE3 : (13 February 2015 - 09:50 PM) Looked up redneck to be sure I got it right.  Dictionary says that a redneck is "an uneducated white farm laborer, especially from the South." Good honest labor on a neck bowed to the sun while working the fields.  I've done that.  Course some of my kin are red all over so I guess that makes them rate lower than just a redneck.
DanielleCaswell : (13 February 2015 - 05:33 PM) https://www.youtube....h?v=9ja4Z41_8BI Incase anyone has NOT seen this.. it is great. If you are not in the deep south you can not imagine the pure stupidity that they come up with to back up hate. This man Jeremy Todd Addaway made the funniest video letting all the rednecks know "its ok the world did not end"
UsernameOpti... : (13 February 2015 - 05:05 PM) WTG, Jennifer =)
UsernameOpti... : (13 February 2015 - 05:05 PM) Welcome to today's new members
MonicaPz : (13 February 2015 - 04:51 PM) We're proud of you, Jennifer!
DanielleCaswell : (13 February 2015 - 02:30 PM) cool





Photo * * * * * 1 votes

A Surprising Lack of Fervour

Posted by lilybf , 29 April 2012 · 243 views

I don't believe I've said it before, but it should be noted that these blog posts are (and are going to be) mostly stream-of-thought pieces with minimal editing.

Studies have found, I am told, that emotion cannot be maintained for significant periods of time. Whether a person's life and environment are good and bad, key moments not withstanding, most people will keep a dull and steady equilibrium of neutrality.

Perhaps that theory can explain why I do not on a daily basis tear my hair out, shriek myself hoarse or attempt to throw myself from some precipice or other. I rarely shake myself to pieces with self-loathing and fear I will never begin to approach my ideal - feminine - self image. Weeks can go by in emotional mediocrity, where I might almost be resigned to remaining... as I am.

I wonder, am I unusual in this as a transitioning would-be-woman. Does it show a death of hope? Or, more terrifyingly still, that I was mistaken all along?

Am I, in fact, cismale?

No, that can't be right, I am sure of that much at least. I react to that thought as I might to the existential horror of realising I am some inhuman, Lovecraftian being.

But still... the concern remains - why do I not feel as keenly as I might?




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