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Gennee : (21 July 2014 - 08:46 AM) Hi Imriya.     :D
imriya : (18 July 2014 - 11:33 PM) hi all
Avalon : (16 July 2014 - 11:47 AM) :)
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UsernameOpti... : (12 July 2014 - 08:22 PM) Why does the media continue to mistakenly identify anti-TGBL haters as, "pundits?"  Doesn't calling a blithering bigot a "pundit," qualify as oxymoronic?
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TJDavies : (28 June 2014 - 03:12 AM) I wanna go to the parade so bad this weekend.... But I have work from 12-8 lol
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Photo * * * * * 1 votes

A Surprising Lack of Fervour

Posted by lilybf , 29 April 2012 · 213 views

I don't believe I've said it before, but it should be noted that these blog posts are (and are going to be) mostly stream-of-thought pieces with minimal editing.

Studies have found, I am told, that emotion cannot be maintained for significant periods of time. Whether a person's life and environment are good and bad, key moments not withstanding, most people will keep a dull and steady equilibrium of neutrality.

Perhaps that theory can explain why I do not on a daily basis tear my hair out, shriek myself hoarse or attempt to throw myself from some precipice or other. I rarely shake myself to pieces with self-loathing and fear I will never begin to approach my ideal - feminine - self image. Weeks can go by in emotional mediocrity, where I might almost be resigned to remaining... as I am.

I wonder, am I unusual in this as a transitioning would-be-woman. Does it show a death of hope? Or, more terrifyingly still, that I was mistaken all along?

Am I, in fact, cismale?

No, that can't be right, I am sure of that much at least. I react to that thought as I might to the existential horror of realising I am some inhuman, Lovecraftian being.

But still... the concern remains - why do I not feel as keenly as I might?




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