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cross2play : (25 November 2014 - 06:50 PM) And subscribe so I can make more videio's :)
cross2play : (25 November 2014 - 06:47 PM) jennifer38 watch my youtube channel - its exactly for conflicting self's!
EmmaSweet : (25 November 2014 - 04:42 PM) I'd found it this morning in the Hurfington Post and added it as a comment to my blog post on depression and suicide: http://www.huffingto...lar,transgender
CharityLynnC... : (25 November 2014 - 04:35 PM) yw ... postively trans facebook group  posted this and ive been posting this everywhere i can
UsernameOpti... : (25 November 2014 - 04:16 PM) A big thanks to Charity Lynn for finding this website.  We have added this link to the list of online resources in the Mental Health and Crisis Intervention forum.   As always, if you or someone you know is in IMMEDIATE danger of harm, dial 911 or the emergency number in your area.
CharityLynnC... : (25 November 2014 - 01:24 PM) if you know anyone in the transgender community who is feeling suicidal..please give them this website that has a  number they can call for help. http://www.translifeline.org/
jennifer38 : (25 November 2014 - 11:54 AM) I got my blog up and running!  Hallelujah!
jennifer38 : (25 November 2014 - 10:49 AM) I've been trying, all day, to start a blog.  I created it, but I can't find where to type the main text of my entries.  For now, I seem to have the easiest time with the shoutbox.  I know I'm heard, here, for sure, and I can easily find other stuff I've already typed, here.
CharityLynnC... : (25 November 2014 - 10:23 AM) transgender suicide hotline has arrived for those in need. http://www.translifeline.org/
EmmaSweet : (25 November 2014 - 07:21 AM) Hi Jennifer, I suggest you start a blog on this topic and any others that you have now or later. I'm sure there are people here, like me, who would be happy to help however we can.
pushkal : (25 November 2014 - 05:34 AM) Hello to all
jennifer38 : (25 November 2014 - 04:36 AM) Good morning all.  Its after 7 AM Eastern.  Cold weather's coming back to PA.  Yuck.  Anyway, in response to someone I read, I would like to start a thread on my unique issues.  I wonder if this is what intersexed is.  When setting up my account, I wasn't sure which gender option to choose.  All I know is, I want to honestly state my true physical makeup as a man, but just as honestly confess my internal female feelings.  I've always wanted to meet other people in my exact situation.  I trust I am not alone in this, and this forum is a great way to vent these feelings I cannot just tell anyone.  At least I shouldn't be criticized or judged for this.  I'd certainly get it if I told family and church members.  I've hinted at it to my family, but I definitely did not go into all the vivid detail like I'm doing here.
pushkal : (25 November 2014 - 02:09 AM) I had purchased The Ultimate Genital Hiding Gaff Pink "Satin"
pushkal : (24 November 2014 - 11:25 PM) I want to appear in public as transgender
UsernameOpti... : (24 November 2014 - 10:39 PM) Hello jennifer38, and welcome.  Perhaps you would consider starting a thread on this topic - there may be others who encounter the same issues.
jennifer38 : (24 November 2014 - 07:57 PM) Here's where things get tricky.  I like my short hair and men's clothes, but my inner self feels feminine, and it is for that reason I crave the right to use ladies' bathrooms.  My inner and outer selves are constantly at war.  I've been deathly afraid to openly tell anybody outside the TG community.  I'm glad I can open up, here.  Please, any ladies on here, talk to me when you can.  I'd like that.
PamalaFlinn : (24 November 2014 - 07:57 PM) Sometimes it is better to bite the upper lip and give the flies the honey . You will be better off in the long run . Stand clear flies for the future may hold new truths.
PamalaFlinn : (24 November 2014 - 07:52 PM) One's most inner instincts must be trusted.
PamalaFlinn : (24 November 2014 - 07:46 PM) Can one carry a relationship with someone they have never met in person ; To build , grow , and flourish . One
jennifer38 : (24 November 2014 - 07:41 PM) Hi, everyone.  I;m new at this.  I am a man on the outside, but a girl inside.  I'm 38 and I've been blind all my life.  I fit in the category of non-op.  In the real world, I am forced to be a man, but on here, I'm glad I can be one of the ladies.  I am glad I found this site.  After several attempts, I finally was able to create my account.  Perseverance pays off.  Anyway, I'm glad to be on here.  I am glad I can declare myself TG based on feelings.  I can forget about the external for a while.





Photo * * * * * 1 votes

Starting my new lifestyle

Posted by KaitlynBaily88 , 23 July 2012 · 334 views

Well to begin with, i always felt like there was something different about me. When i was young i would sometimes look in the mirror and wonder what it was like to be a girl, but at the time i didn't give it much more thought than just "what if". When i started going to middle school i was paying a little more attention the the girls clothes. I remember thinking "why don't they make stuff that pretty for us"? Puberty went by pretty much unnoticed. Not sure if that's normal for some TG's but no real problems so i don't often question why i don't remember puberty. Anyway, around age 14 or 15 i found an old dress in the back of a closet. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. When i saw myself i got really self-conscious and confused so i tried to repress it and keep it out of my head from then on. I can recall a few times between then and now that i did a little more experimenting(panties, bras and eventually dresses again). It was still very scary and confusing and the shame kept me from talking to anyone about it. A few years ago i met an Australian woman named Caitlin (which is how i chose my name. Her idea and i loved it). I felt a connection with her that i never felt with anyone before and eventually i felt safe enough to tell her all my innermost secrets. She couldn't have been more supportive. After several long and deep talks(and a few dress-up sessions) over the past few years i have become much more comfortable with myself and i can identify myself as TG (tho i have to admit i don't like the title) without shame. I even found the courage to tell my best friend. She didn't take it too well at first but has accepted me for me. I asked Caitlin to marry me not long ago and she said yes :D. I'm looking forward to the many changes this new life is gonna bring. My mother is undergoing treatment for leukemia at UCLA so for the sake of keeping her stress to a minimum i have decided not to come out to my family yet. I'm not looking forward to the reactions but i will cross that bridge when the time comes. I know i can expect to loose alot of my family and the thought of that is so depressing. I love my family and there is not 1 relative that i am prepared to loose. My fiance tells me if they don't accept me then its their loss. Well thats the problem. Its not just theirs. Its my loss too. But which is worse? Ridicule from the ones you love most or the constant torture of hiding yourself for fear of ridicule? I have lost so much sleep just trying to find that one answer. But in the end the only one that can answer that is me. Maybe it wont be as bad as i think (coming from a baptist family i can imagine some pretty harsh scenarios) But for the first time in my life i like me and i don't want to give that up. Thanks for reading



Kaitlyn




Good Luck Kaitlyn. I truly empathize with you! Wishing you lots of Love! Calista x
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