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Two months post surgery


KarenPayne

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Things that come to mind without blinking an eye, yes, surgery is a big deal but pales (at least for me pain-wise) in comparison to dilation. No sugar coating it, it really hurts. On the bright side it gets better but not before you have done this about 300 times. For me the next thing is cisgender females will talk to you about things you would never even guess, it’s a totally different world. Even cisgender females that you don’t talk to but notice in a glance or passing by on the street, for me (and I know it’s not my imagination) there is an unspoken thing, it might be a smile or a slight nod of the head. By no means do all females do this but just this week I had a handful of nods and smiles and right back at them.

Next up is my mindset has changed, I am now very picky about how I present myself clothing wise. Just this morning I tried something like five outfits on, left the house and then two blocks down was still questioning my current attire. Another thing on mindset, sometimes I feel like a teenager, learning about my new body. It’s the little things, the care is different than before. Then there is hooray, no more tucking with tight underwear. There is nothing like getting dressed or pulling up my underwear after using the toilet and that’s it, no tucking. Of course tucking is small in comparison to having a vagina, it makes all the difference in my identity. And Marci was not lying, it’s sensitive down there. When my mind goes to that special place I get excited and sensations radiate from down there, so much different than the male counterpart.

My hope is at three months out I will not even think about mentioning dilation which I am off to do now followed by relaxing after a long but good day at work.

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