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Seven Words can break a Heart


WarrenG

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Work today started off as usual. I got there, I got rid of my backpack and such, got changed into my chef's gear, and got to work. Everything was normal. Well, as normal as it could be, anyway.

That is...until after lunch.

I headed to my locker to get my headphones for my ipod, but something fell out of my locker.

A little piece of paper, folded up, crinkled, and written on.

"Gender Queers Dont belong here, f*** off"

It took me a good five minutes to read this fully, and for it to punch me square in the jaw like I'd been hit and run over by a freight train on the run.

I had to sit down and stare at the note. I looked up at my locker, realizing that my nametag on my locker door was torn to shreds on the floor.

Why cant I get a break? Even a little one....why not?

Nearly numb with hurt, I brought it to my coworker. "Bring it right to the manager!" she gasped, shocked that it had happened. (She knows im transitioning)

I did so, and brought it to him, and showed him. He then shrugged it off as if it were nothing, and threw the note in the trash. Like it were nothing to him, and the whole situation meant nothing.

I broke down, walked outside, curled up and lost it.

After probably five to ten minutes, I eventually calmed down and went back to work.

I was livid that they didnt care. But I couldnt explain to them about WHY it bothered me so much, because then they would know. Then it would click, and they would see what I were hiding.

They'd see into my closed closet doors.

Later, it finally clicked to them how serious this was. The manager took the note out of the trash, apologized to me for "blowing you off", and took the matter to higher management. He then came to me and said basically that this whole situation was bull**** and he will NOT stand for it.

This is all good and such, and great that they're now taking it seriously but...

I just handed in a note that insulted me as a Gender Queer, obviously upset about it...they're going to put 2 and 2 together and realize what's going on.

This is not how I wanted this to come to light.

I dont know what to do...

Warren

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Sidenote: Out of fear of more notes, I have surrendered my locker to a coworker who wanted one, and emptied it completely tonight.

I dont want it...not after this.

So now I have to change into my chef's gear at home, and keep all my uniforms in my car.

:(

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Dear Warren,

I'm so sorry to hear of this. I can barely imagine how devastating it is to you. You are absolutely doing the right thing by telling us about it, and I assume also your BF, right?

Your manager screwed up initially but for some reason came around. Maybe someone (like your friend) talked to him. No matter, at least he's gone on record to support you.

I think you also did the right thing by cleaning out your locker. Some may disagree but at least you're removing the target from the coward who assaulted you. And that's exactly what he/she is, a F**king Coward, who can't stand up to you. Whatever, that is their problem not yours.

My 2c suggestion? Hold your head high. Do a great job. Make your manager and your coworkers damned happy to have you on the team. And absolutely resist fighting or being angry on the level of the Coward. By holding the "high ground" you'll show the kind of good person that you truly are.

But if you do trip up and get angry or emotional, that's okay kiddo. You're human after all, and dealing with something that takes a lot of bravery and courage. We're all right behind you, Warren.

Sincerely,

Emma

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Yeah my boyfriend knows, and hes not too pleased about it either. He realizes that not only does this emotionally hurt me like crazy...but now more people probably know about my situation.

They told me that if I recieved more notes, to let them know. But I didnt want to recieve more notes. I didnt want to read those things again.

So I took away the locker, so they couldnt send them anymore.

I'm too afraid to back into that room. I dont want to ever step foot in another womens locker room again. I dont belong in there, they're right about that part. Even I know that. But where else am I to go? Obviously not the men's locker room...

I'm trying to remain calm on the situation and not stoop to their level, but its hard. I have such a short temper, and this hurt me to no end. Seven little words. Seriously...that's it. Yet it felt like they physically beat me to a pulp.

My biggest problem isnt physical violence. It's not emotional outbursts. It's my past that I worry about.

My self harm. I've done good so far, over a month harm-free. But this...This has pushed me over the limit. Tonight's going to be a long night.

Warren

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Hi Warren,

Please don't hurt yourself. You're hurting enough without that. I hear you, where to go. Men's room = no. Women's room = no. I don't know what to suggest except that the women's room should be safe. Women are much less physically threatening than men, right?

Warren, please take care of yourself. Don't cut or harm yourself. And let us know how you're doing. I will be so sad for you if you hurt yourself. Don't let them win.

Sincerely, really,

Emma

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"Your manager screwed up initially but for some reason came around. Maybe someone (like your friend) talked to him. No matter, at least he's gone on record to support you." -Emma

I try to think and believe positive...but I can't help but believe this joker did not have a change of heart in regard to Warren - he realized that his actions could get him in hot water if the issue found its way to his superiors or even further. Personally...I believe he came back to cover his butt.

"My biggest problem isnt physical violence. It's not emotional outbursts. It's my past that I worry about.

My self harm. I've done good so far, over a month harm-free. But this...This has pushed me over the limit. Tonight's going to be a long night." -Warren

Keep hammering out the blogs, and posts in the forums. Wear the keyboard out...that's what they're for.

-Michael

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Michael,

I thought exactly what you are about Warren's manager but based on Warren's description of the managers later actions and words, it seemed sincere. Regardless, we know where the manager's heart is.

It's an ugly situation. Your advice to wear out the keyboard is right on.

Emma

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