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transgender spectrum


jennifer38

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Over the years, from hearing about other trans people and examining my own self, I have concluded that just like autism, transgenderism has various levels. I am not sure how I would classify mid-level transgenderism, but I can clearly see both ends of the spectrum. This morning, I watched a YouTube video Emma shared with me. The link is as follows:

I saw that those children are an example of the high end of the spectrum, even at a very early age. I, on the other hand, am on the low end. I do not want to cross dress, as it violates my personal conviction that is based on Deuteronomy 22:5, in The Holy Bible, where it is written that a man shall not wear a woman's garment, and vice versa. I am paraphrasing, here, and am not trying to impose my beliefs on anybody. I have been delivered from my judgmental and condemning attitude I used to have. Anyway, another thing that puts me on the low end of the spectrum is how I like my hair to be short. Again, the Bible shows me, personally, that it's a shame for men to have long hair. Again, please don't see me as preachy. I'm merely voicing personal convictions.

You may be wondering why I consider myself trans, then. I still have, as I've stated aforetime, the classic feeling of inner female. There's nothing on my outer shell that is remotely feminine, save for a slightly larger breast on the left side, something that has shrunk since I lost nearly 40 pounds between 2009 and 2013. My female feelings have only grown. I have tried ignoring and rebuking and suppressing and disguising them, and yet I still have progressed to the point that I, just last Saturday, searched the Web for transgender support and happened upon this site. After some hesitation and prayer, I took the plunge, just the other day, and signed up. I'm glad I did. By meeting others, I can compare and contrast my experiences with theirs. I have concluded pretending and ignoring and disguising does not work. I believe even God wants me to be honest, and so I am thankful that you don't necessarily need surgery to be classified as transgender. I also have a growing discomfort of men's restrooms. Blame that on the inner woman, something that feels more real when I'm with the guys. It neutralizes when I'm with the girls, weird as that sounds.

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Hi Jenny,

Nothing you write here sounds weird or preachy, so don't be concerned. You're a wonderful human being, in God's image, and you deserve the same love, respect, and acceptance as all of us.

I agree with you on the video, that those children or at or near one end of the spectrum. In some ways I envy them since the middle ground, where I'm at (and you seem to be) is so hard to pin down. The middle area is so wide!

Regarding crossdressing and the Bible: to set some context, I have no religious convictions regarding any of this. But you wrote: "it is written that a man shall not wear a woman's garment, and vice versa." Should this be interpreted to mean that women who regularly wear pants instead of skirts or dresses are in violation of the Bible? I suspect your answer will be no; otherwise, virtually all women on Earth are in violation of its precepts. And, as we go back in time we know that men and women's attire has shifted dramatically, where one days' common wear shifted from typically masculine to feminine.

I agree with you that ignoring your inner feelings doesn't work. I've read about people trying to find "cures" or trying abstinence in the hope that they'll be able to leave their transgender feelings behind. I have certainly tried this as well - many times. It doesn't work, at least for me or anyone I've read about. I believe that peace of mind and spirit comes from accepting ourselves as we are, and allowing trusted others to come into our world. Through that we are validated as real, valued, and loved.

Thank you for your writing and for joining TG Guide. May you and your family and friends have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Emma

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