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Dawn13 : (22 October 2014 - 07:56 PM) Is anyone looking at photos?  I have posted some fairly good ones lately but cannot tell if anyone has stopped to see them?
Gennee : (22 October 2014 - 08:05 AM) Happy Birthday, Daneela!   :D
AVPerry : (22 October 2014 - 05:46 AM) I just posted in Transgender Television & Movies, check it out :) Stay Blessed!
UsernameOpti... : (21 October 2014 - 12:11 PM) Happy Birthday to Daneela
Bonnie : (21 October 2014 - 11:25 AM) Should be good now, Dawn
Dawn13 : (20 October 2014 - 11:45 AM) Bonnie - I cannot message you
Bonnie : (20 October 2014 - 11:43 AM) Hi all you new people! Welcome!  I hope we can help in whatever way you need.
Chloe4230 : (20 October 2014 - 10:06 AM) New to the site. Hi all.
TJDavies : (20 October 2014 - 08:15 AM) I GOT MY NEW BINDERRRR :D
AVPerry : (20 October 2014 - 01:03 AM) I just updated my posted in Trans Books and Print Media..check it out! Stay Blessed x
AmberShock : (19 October 2014 - 03:38 PM) Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum, can't wait to explore and make some new friends.
AVPerry : (19 October 2014 - 01:31 PM) I just posted in Trans Books and Print Media..check it out! Stay Blessed x
sarah1 : (19 October 2014 - 12:20 PM) hi
GypsyMen : (19 October 2014 - 12:17 AM) Hello hello.. New here happy to meet you all
AVPerry : (18 October 2014 - 03:49 PM) Add me, I want to reach out to transgender people all round the world
CharityLynnC... : (18 October 2014 - 02:10 PM) *points to her topic in transgender care*
Dawn13 : (16 October 2014 - 08:17 PM) Again Thanks Monica - I have a new FB account and a new e-mail where I can be free.
Dawn13 : (16 October 2014 - 05:41 PM) Thanks - Monica
MonicaPz : (16 October 2014 - 04:03 PM) The safest way to set up two FB accounts is to have two e-mail addresses (one Dawn, the other your male name), two snail mail addresses (Dawn would have a P.O. Box, your male self, street address, etc.  Keep ALL information TOTALLY DIFFERENT between the two FB accounts.
Dawn13 : (16 October 2014 - 07:14 AM) Can anyone direct me to a good set of info on how to set up a second FB account using Dawn as my site name.  Regretfully, I still have to live two lives and do not wish to have FB join the two of them.  Maybe this is impossible.





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coping strategy 001

Posted by amie , 13 August 2010 · 73 views

On my last visit to the doctor I had my first experience of someone laughing at me in public as a transwoman.  I am reasonably sure the laughing was about me but I chose not to look as I passed by the two young men.  I felt like I was a little kid again, first day of school where someone made fun of what I was wearing.  Following the laughter was some real faint whispering, when the men began to chat more about what they just saw. (what is ironic is that the two men whispering sounded like what you would expect from some little girls, not boys) I mentioned the experience to my doctor and she asked me how I handled it.  I thought for a moment and came up with what I thought to be a pretty good plan of attack to this issue in my life.  She liked my response and said that it would be good for me to write it down.  I hope this thought process can also help someone else.


For that one moment in time that someone may laugh or discriminate against you is it worth suffering a lifetime in the wrong body by not transitioning, just to avoid those little moments?  After all, those little moments will pass again and again.  Then you will be left with all of the rest of the time that you must live with yourself.  So why not ignore the little moments and decide to be happy in the big moments of life; the moments that go on and on and have you in it.  The moments when you really live life in your work, in relationships and personal time.  

Right now it seems like the little moments are big moments, but they are not.  The real bad comments or looks are all passing moments usually from strangers.  The little moments can turn into big bad moments if I let these things bother me and ponder them for hours or days.  For every moment like that where I move on quickly,  I become a stronger person.  I learn that what matters most in my life is how I feel about myself (am I at peace with myself?)and my ability to live life to the fullest despite the challenges.

I look forward to the day that I can look back and say I did it!  I also look forward to each new day as I wish to try to enjoy the journey to womanhood to the best of my ability.  As of now I am more like a little girl learning a new way of life and slightly different method of relating to people than I am used to and I should enjoy all of these moments as realistically as possible as I didn't exactly get to live them out earlier in my life.

So in Summary... I am the one who lives with myself all of the time, my relationship with everyone else and the majority of my experiences with these people are only small moments in time.  Which part in time do I want to enjoy the little moments that pass, or the big moments that can even give birth to smaller little moments that really matter?

I choose life, my life, my way, my happiness.

Amie




Very good Amie!  A good way to deal with these situations even though it does hurt some it is best to get past it as quickly as you can and move on.

Bonnie
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CarolineTyler
Sep 06 2011 02:07 AM
I like your take on this, too often I have let a random comment from someone I don't and never will know bring me down.
Hugs
Caroline xx
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