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  • Lori

    Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

    By Lori

    Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices flowing; A daily journal about your life and experiences
    A journal documenting when you go full time
    A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery
    Dating experiences and tips
    Crossdressing tips
    Experience with makeup
    Passing in public
    Your experiences when you go out in public
    Restroom experiences
    Transitioning at work
    Dealing with counselors or medical personnel
    Introspection about your particular gender identity
    Dealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs
    Dealing with addictions
    Dealing with self-destructive behaviors
    Interactions with police or government workers
    Changing your drivers license, birth certificate, etc.
    Applying for jobs
    Your big day, when you go full time
    Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations)
    Experiences with electrolysis
    How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences
    Your recommendations to others about to follow your path
    Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender
    Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed
    What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity
    Poetry or prose
    These are a few ideas to get you started. Feel free to leave comments to suggest your own ideas, or just start a blog and share with everyone. Just log into your control panel to start your own blog. This could be interesting!
    • 28 comments
    • 7,404 views
 

House and Garden

I had a few things on my "to-do" list today, but putting the house back together and doing yard work were priorities. AFLAC had almost completely taken over the dining room area, and that had to come to an end. As I wrote last night, I have  decided to use an excel spreadsheet to manage my prospecting, and am in the process of inputting all my business contacts. The sum total of my progress in that area, except for a few entries last night, is to move all the stuff from the dining room into the den. So now, I'm sitting with piles of stuff in the den which I guess is an improvement of sorts. At least it's out of direct site should anyone come to visit. Actually, my neighbor, Jeanie, is the only one who comes, and that's to let the dogs out. Anyway, it looks better for me to look at. So then, while I'm cleaning the living room, I decided it was time to do some rearranging there. I have always thought that our recliners are way too far back from the TV, so I figured out a way to move them closer without having to redo the whole room. It came out well, not that I watch TV anymore. I had one casualty when I moved the couch. It was backed up against the wall, and the paint stuck to the leather and came off with it. We were without power for a week during the hurricane, and the humidity must have weakened the paint. It is out of sight for the time being. Another project. Oh,and I put the leaf back in the dinette table where I eat, so now I have more room there. In the afternoon, I tackled the yard. The arica palms in the front need constant maintenance to keep them at a reasonable height. And the oleander needed some work. And there is always weeding. I like living in Florida, but everything grows all the time, and it's really a challenge at times to stay on top of it. I have a busy week ahead. Hope something pops. I have low expectations. I well keep on keeping on.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Michelle Time

It is a dark and stormy night--couldn't resist. We have another system moving in which is expected, as far as I can tell, to bring some wind and rain. It really doesn't sound too unusual for south Florida, but my neighbor had to warn me that I had better pick up my yard.  I'm really not going to get too shook about it. I think Chris just is an alarmist. And while I'm on the subject, another thing about Chris. He's a nice guy, and I like him, but he is somewhat of a gas bag. If you tell him how you did something, he will tell you that it was wrong, and then proceed to tell you how it should be done. Anymore, it just let it go in one ear and out the other. I know what works for me. Sue wasn't crazy about him because he was all talk and very little action. Besides, his yard is not kept up, and Sue was big on appearances. She actually was like Hyacinth in the British TV show Keeping Up Appearances , a show she really liked. It's raining hard now. Getting the dogs out will be a challenge tonight. Hopefully, we won't lose power. Right now, we're all huddled in the den, cozy, safe, and dry. I did my weekly grocery shopping and lawn mowing this morning before the rains started. This afternoon, I started to organize all the piles of notes and business cards and assorted papers that have taken over every unclaimed space in the kitchen/dining area. As Bette Davis would say: "What a dump!" Despite what my instructor said abo ut the simplicity of using 3X5 cards to organize business contacts, it is just not working for me. I am going to use an Excel spreadsheet and be done with chasing all this paper. Once set up, I will have an easy record of my contact history and can print one sheet of paper when I visit businesses again. That is my plan anyway. We'll see if it is less cumbersome than the paper trail. So, I did manage to finally get in the shower and get cleaned up and do a little grooming. Nails need cutting periodically, you know. I painted my toenails a while back, and I'm letting them grow out. Now I have about a 3/4 paint job on my nails. I'm sort of using it as an experiment to see how fast my nails grow. I've heard that good nail growth is a sign of good health. I'm not sure what good hail growth is, but they are growing, so I guess that's a good sign. Beyond that, I didn't get overly dressed up tonight. Work has been so all-consuming that I haven't felt very "femme" of late. In truth, I haven't had time to feel much of anything. So, maybe it's time to give it a rest. I do feel that I should do something--this is a transgender website after all. I was sort of femme today with my part-colored toenails and  ladies flipflops. I wore a beaded necklace and bracelet with a men's shirt and jeans. A little of both--girls do all the time, so why can't I. I am a CD, darn it. I'll see who's in the chatroom tonight. It has been very quiet of late.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

TW3 #4

This was a busy week, but lately, aren't they all? AFLAC was running a contest to kick start the quarter, so we were all encouraged to go out there and rack up some good numbers. The ones who reached a certain level would be invited to a fancy downtown bar--Blue Martini--this coming Monday. I was a little handicapped since I had a full day of training on Tuesday, and another hald a day training on Thursday. Additionally, on Monday I worked with someone else which was a little different for me. Kathy has been in the business a little bit longer than me and is just starting to make some headway. She is sharp and has a good approach, although she is much more analytical than I am and is more selective of the businesses she calls on. I may get that way, but right now I don't do much discriminating. Pretty much, if it's got a door, I'll go in. Still, we ended the day with 53 approaches and one appointment set. 
Wednesday, after my second time through Level 1 sales school, I really pounded the pavement and made 79 approaches and set 7 business appointments and 1 direct sale appointment. As some of you may know, sales is an up and down deal. On  Thursday, after my morning training, I went out and made 43 approaches and came up empty-handed. i even went downhill as I lost one of the appointments I had previously set--I wasn't terribly disapponted in this one as it was pretty iffy to start with. My boss gave me some encouraging words last night, and I bounced back with 23 approaches today and 4 appointments set. Kathy also did an employer presentation for me which went well. Hopefully, it will translate into some enrollments and get me on the board. So, this weekend I will catch my breath and get myself organized the for comng week. I have 10 appointments with employers and Kathy and my boss Rich are going to do them for me. I haven't been to Level 2 training yet, so I don't know enought to do them on my own. I will have a lot more leeway when I can make my own presentations. So, little by little I seem to be getting there. It does take time and there is a lot to learn. In due time. BTW, I am invited to the Blue Martini on Monday. I don't drink anymore, but hopefully the food will be good. I will try to post the picture that was taken at training. I put it on facebook and have gotten a lot of likes and comments.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Feminist Event - follow-up

Last night the feminist group I belong to had a discussion about trans issues in the feminist movement - I was the organizer/moderator of the event.  The event was titled "Are Trans Women Real Women?" (the title was intentionally provocative with an obvious "YES" answer). I was pretty nervous going in - public speaking isn't really my thing, or at least hadn't been - the group organizer asked me, before anyone else was there, if I was nervous - I said "Yes." But I also said that it would pass as soon as I started talking. I realized later what a change that was - in the past I would have been nervous until it was over, not just until I started talking. But that is what happened, my anxiety peaked right as she introduced me, and then passed immediately. The rest of the way was pretty easy going. We played 4 short videos, the first was from a TERF (just so that they're perspective was shown) and then 3 trans people (the video links are below - the 2nd one is so incredibly moving, I still can't watch it without crying). They we had people pair off to discuss the question "What is a woman?"  Then we came back together as a group and talked for about an hour. So that put me in an interesting place - I was the only trans person present, and I was the moderator. So early on in particular I tried to hang back and let other people talk, even when I had a clear answer to a question or point. That worked nicely, there was a lot of value in letting the group work through issues that they hadn't before. The question proved particularly good as it was one that most people hadn't thought about before ("What is a woman?"). One person acknowledged that she probably had always gone through life without a definition but with a "I know it when I see it" belief. It's a really good group, we always have good discussions, and I think some good came of this, particularly in terms of people having a better understanding of trans issues and cisgender privilege. They even came to recognize that by even having to have this discussion suggests that the feminist movement is largely a cisgender movement (in addition to being a white movement). On a personal note, I'm thrilled at having done this. It's one more thing that I would never have thought about doing pre-transition, and now not only did I do it, but I want to do more of it. xoxo Chrissy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLG6rqN8vjU (Jenni Murray) https://youtu.be/E0v_idyvjco (girl with cards) https://youtu.be/S8DwxjDrNNM (Lee Mokobe) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsowxKx_-_c (Janet Mock)

Chrissy

Chrissy

 

EMAGINE

A couple of months ago while driving north in Oregon I thought of a custom license plate for me: "EMMAGINE." Unfortunately the DMV only accepts 7 characters or fewer so I dropped an M. I love it!

Emma

Emma

 

Saturday Night Musings

So, I just now finished reading a rather lengthy article by Alex Mar in Wired, courtesy of my Flipboard app, called "Love in the Time of Robots." It's about Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro, who builds beautiful androids, humanoids if you will. It gets deep fast as we delve into what it is to be human and how we relate to each other. Now, after a day of doing weekend chores--shopping, mowing, setting up a new laptop, doing my social obligations, and having dinner of the lasagna that my neighbor brought me the other night--fortunately I was dressed normally, and not in some of the get-up i usually wear later in the evening--I find myself in a somewhat pensive mood. (Boy, that was a long sentence.)  My earliest remembrances as a child were about what am I actually. At a very early age, and being brought up Catholic, I could attach a label, "child of God." But, it never ended there and I'm still trying to figure out life--a heavy duty trip, a friend of mine once told me. I am a fan of Eric Barker and his blog,  "Barking Up the Wrong Tree."  He writes about of lot of life and living based on neuroscience and influenced by the teachings of the Stoics. His contention is that we are not only our thoughts. In other words, our thoughts are not who we are. I have to agree. i have long held the view that the mind and the body are one, and that who we are is as much a matter of our physicality as our thinking. When I was in the seminary in college, a friend and I contended that every encounter had an element of sexuality involved. It drove our priest-professors nuts. Maybe that was the idea. There is also the notion--and I'm thinking this as I write--that our brains are physical too. Eric Barker says that when we learn, our brain structure actually changes. We are constantly forging new pathways and new neural connections--that is, if we continue to learn. If we stay stuck in our patterns of thinking, the rut keeps getting deeper. I think some people have a hard time changing because they have invested so much into one way of thinking. They don't want to lose all that effort they put into building the structure, even if it doesn't work. So, anyway, I had dinner, and finished reading my article, and had a little chair nap. I then brushed my teeth and had my shower, and then what. I wasn't feeling particularly feminine or playful or girly, but our of habit, I put on a pair of panties and a bra, and then I thought maybe I'll wear my new metallic pants but with a red VS top, then my fake pearl necklaces and bracelet. That is what I'm wearing now. So, how does that change my thinking and my mood? Tonight, not too much. Other times, a whole different personality. Usually, I feel different depending on what I'm wearing  whether it be a sharp men's suit or a dress. Brain change--maybe. Basically, at this time of the day, I just put on whatever, because I can. My boss told me to de-AFLAC over the weekend, so that's what I'm doing. But, getting back to who we are. Some say that we are our choices. I think also maybe our values. Maybe we should just be. Zorba says to his English boss. "You think too much." Or as Kipling says, to think and not make thoughts our aim. And with that, enough thinking for the evening. I'll see of there are any other girls to chat with. Bye.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Cleaning Up Loose Ends

I had a good day. I have been going like mad trying to get my prospecting numbers in for the week, and then having to spend time with my District Sales Coordinator, that I have been a little scattered. So, I pretty much took the day for me to get my parts together. I organized my employer contacts that showed some promise and did some recalls this morning. Nothing major, but I did secure one appointment for my efforts. I also sent out some emails to businesses that I can't reach any other way--I'm not holding my breath on those. But I also sent my former employer, PACE Center for Girls, an email asking them to consider AFLAC. At least here I know the principals. I don't know what will come of it, but it would be a big account if it materialized. Worth a shot. I also reached out to the handyman who did our house remodeling. He and his wife befriended both Sue and me, and he gave his condolences. I hope to see him again soon. I also got dental insurance today from the same carrier I had at PACE. Of all things, I can't get a policy from ALAC--too old. The cutoff is 70. I'm just three weeks shy of 75. Anyway, I have pretty decent coverage again through Metlife which I will need since I'm contemplating an implant in January. I need to keep up with my dental hygiene. My last thing of the day was to finally finish my credentials for the AFLAC policy writing platform. I have been having a devil of a time getting the software to cooperate, and have spent way too much time talking to tech support and customer service. In the end, I got it to work so now I know how to set up an employer and enroll employees. I passed the test and got my certificate. Whew! This weekend, I will be planning with my prospecting partner, what areas we will hit. I also have a laundry that is piling up, and I will need to do some ironing. Good old youtube. I'm getting a little better at it. That's it for now. See you later.  

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Working

I have been working pretty steadily with AFLAC, but iooks  like I will have to work even harder--and smarter--to get off the ground. Most of my appointments for the last two days didn't work out for one reason or another, mostly no-shows which is common enough. I think I can reschedule most of them, however. My boss and I did get one the looks likely to be a buyer as well as being a broker who can make referrals to me for added business. So, we 'll see how that pans out. I still have some things pending, and tomorrow I make some recalls to see if I can catch the owner. I'm going to keep going. BTW, I "just" read that we should try to eliminate using "just" in our speech and writing. The writer said that it adds a note of subservience to our communications, and we are more direct and purposeful without it. Women seem to use it 3-4 times as much as men. I use it a lot which says something about me. I'll try to cut down on using it. My readers can check on me. Right now I have to finish my course on how to use the writing platform so I can write policies and make some money. That will be nice. I have two trainings next week as well, one all day, and the other half day. On top of that, our region is running a major push next week, so I will definitely be putting some hours in. I'll be working with a go-getter female partner for a good part of the week. I think it will be good for me to work with someone who is a bit more agressive. Maybe the two of us can make a good team. Anyway, that's it for now. My feminine self is taking a back burner for a while, which is not all bad. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know.( I have a really bad joke on that, but I'll save that for another time.) Later.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Busy Days

On Sunday, I finally got around to cleaning out my wife's medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I am still going through bathroom stuff--I gress I have been putting it off. It's strange going through someone else's personal belongings. My wife and I were together for over 30 years, although we were not intimate for the last 14 years or so. She couldn't deal with the idea of dressing let alone the physical expression of it. I think it became so ingrained in her thinking that she couldn't modify her stance. And then 8 years ago, she go cancer, so that was another chapter. And then, we had the aftermath of all the treatments, wh​​ich virtually left her house bound.​ Massive diarrhea. She sometimes spent most of her day, and night, in the bathroom. Both of us cleaned a lot of messes. Many trips to the doctors over the years with little improvement. In the end, we did make some headway with her bowels, but then COPD kicked in, and that seemed to be the last straw. Her body just wore out. So, going through her things, you see what someone does to cope with life as it is. In her case, it was a fear of running out of something, so she has loads of medicine and you name it. I think I have enough food in the house to last a year. Just need to buy fresh things. I wonder what someone will think when they go through my things. I think I want someone who knows who I am. So, I am super busy with my new career. Lots of meetings and training and courses to take on line. Right now my prospecting is in the hard grind phase because it's all I know how to do at the moment. I do have a direct sale opportunity pendintg with one of my neighbors who I think will buy and accident policy. Yesterday, after Monday meeting, I spent three hours walking around our local industrial parks, stopping in businesses, and trying to make appointments. Hard go. I stopped in 51 businesses, talked to 20 decision makers DMs, and got zero appointments. I did get some positive responses, however. So, it will be worthwhile to call back. Today, I did 43 stops, with 8 DMs, and did get two appointments. I think it will get easier. I'm sure getting my exercise and fresh air if nothing else. I had a teeth cleaning this morning, and I had to tell Trish, our hygienist, that Sue had died. I had previously let the office know, but word never got back to her. We had both gotten to be good friends with Trish, and so I had to tell the story again. I think everyone knows by now. I told Trish that I thought of her every time I brushed my teeth. So that's it for today's edtion. I do have to rein in my clothes shopping, at least a little. Now I have to buy a laptop for work, but that's a business expense, and it looks like i can get what I need for around $250 at Walmart. Not bad. But then, we still get all these catalogs in the mail, and I ended up buying a posture bra from AmeriMark. I just couldn't resist, and besides, I do need to improve my posture--right?  

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Dressing for success!!!!

Much has been said on this website about dressing - obviously! - here was my experience this morning. I'm at my field placement today, which is a social work internship, so it requires a good balance of looking professional, without going too far and creating the appearance of a power imbalance. Add to that mix that I had a dental appointment in the morning before I came here. Usually that wouldn't impact anything, but I go to the NYU Faculty Dental Practice, and the student I go to is really, really cute. So, add to the equation trying to look as cute as possible for the dental student :-) Last time I saw him he mentioned a girlfriend (which was admittedly a little painful to hear), but that was back in June, so who knows!  More important though is that I decided it doesn't matter if I actually have a chance with him, I want to learn to act, and dress like I do (not just for him, but generally). So I think I found a good balance :-)  (had it been a non-internship day I would have worn one of the tank tops that I have that I think are very flattering) Of course then I get to the appointment and the first thing that happens when you're in the chair is that they put that protective bib on you - why even have cleavage to show!?!? Then they have these goggles for you to wear to protect from the spray while they're doing the cleaning - so at this point there's no way I look at all cute :-( But the takeaway remains! I want to date, I would like a relationship, so I have to take that into account now and then and dress accordingly :-) xoxo Chrissy

Chrissy

Chrissy

 

Saturday 10-14-17

Here it is, Saturday night, a party night for some, and I sit in my den typing on the computer, my two dogs with me, asleep as usual. I am fairly dressed up. I am wearing pantyhose, which I don't do as often as I should. They feel and look good on me, but often I'm just too lazy to make the effort, or they aren't right for what else I'm wearing. With the animal print dress, they are just right. And for now, I have overcome the need for a strapless bra by just tucking in the straps-duh. I could cut them off, I suppose, but I don't want to ruin the bra. It's an inheritance from my wife. She wore a 36C for most of her life, and now they fit me, even without an extender. I used to be a 40 long in a suit coat, then 38, and now my chest is down to 36. The incredible shrinking man. I have lost about 10 pounds since Sue died. I am eating, but not a lot of heavy food for the most part. I am vain enough to want to keep my girlish figure, but I don't want to be too thin either-- not healthy and doesn't look good. (Talk about random thoughts--more like meandering thoughts.I really need to meditate on a regular schedule.) So, anyway, with all that said, I'm good. You'd think that now that I'm on my own and can do whatever I please, I would get out more, but I really don't have any desire, and I don't have anyone to go out with anyway. This is better. I go down the street every afternoon around 4 with my two puppies to give them their afternoon outing and stop at old friends of ours, Dave and Jeanie. Dave is a retired stone mason of almost 83 and Jeanie his wife is a few years younger. Both are pretty conservative to say the least, but for some reason, both Sue and I became good friends with Dave. He has his shortcomings--don't we all--but he has always been good to us, and he is easy to talk to. Jeanie is a bit of a constant complainer, which does get a litle wearing, but she means well, and is always ready to help.  That is the extent of my social life except of course for here and the chat room. And with that said, I think I'll head that way. I'm sure Andrea is waiting for me, and we'll see who else shows up tonight. One never knows.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Dressing 2

I have been pretty absorbed with AFLAC this week, which is perfectly natural as it is my new career and I want to do well. I am encouraged starting out and believe that in time I will develop a rhythmn and a daily routine. Right now, my week is pretty chopped up with required online courses and meetings. Also,  i will be dependent on my sales manager for the time being and have to work around his busy schedule. For example, I can't make appointments until I know when he'll be available since I don't yet know how to present proposals to prospects. In due time. I spent a couple of hours with another newer agent this morning, Donna, a very nice and sharp young lady of 60--I'm getting to the point where most people are younger than me. LOL Anyway, she has had a previous career in banking and IT, and is now starting out like me on a new career with AFLAC. Interesting. Like all of us, she was a little timid starting out, but is doing very well now. Her advice is to give it time and effort. I'm i n. Now, with all of that, I still make time to get a littl e dre ssed up in the evenings--I am a crossdresser, you know. I found a crossdressing superstore online that happens to be in the same industrial park that I worked this week. I tried to stop in there this afternoon, but no one was there. It might be more of an online store. I did end up setting up an account with them and ordering a pair of sheers (as the British say) and a garter belt.) I also wrote to them to ask if they have store hours or maybe would open by appointment. It's a family-owned business, but I will mention AFLAC to them. I think I mentioned before, maybe I could target the trans friendly stores in our area. Might be fun. On a whim, and because I decided to hold off buying a new cell phone and got a greatly reduced rate now that I am only paying for one, I ordered an a kind of outrageous outfit from JLUXLABEL. I got it because it is somewhat outre--clingy and metallic. Just for fun. I'm in a long skirt that I got at the thrift shop tonight with a satiny blouse that I bought from the Chinese company. I also am wearing a bosomy bra and some fashion jewelry.  A little lipstick. Pretty comfy and casual tonight. And so on to the chore-filled weekend.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Coming Out on National Coming Out Day

Yesterday I read this article on Transgender Universe by Mila Madison (I love her writings): Is It Safe to Come Out? You see, yesterday was National Coming Out Day. On reading the article it occurred to me that for most people the definition of "coming out" is a single event, coming out of the closet, letting others know ones true/authentic nature (sexuality, gender, etc.), and then it's done. That stirred up some thoughts for me as I considered that I came out all of the past year and see myself continuing to come out for at least the next year and maybe beyond. i added a comment to MIla's article that I've edited below: I think a point can be made that coming out isn’t binary, all or nothing. For example, I started coming out to selected friends, family and professionals one year ago. I kept a list on my phone, marveling as the number slowly grew from single digits into the teens. I told them, mostly in person, that I am transgender and had been since my earliest memories. All were more or less supportive. About six months ago I couldn’t wait any longer and wrote a long-ish email to about 50 colleagues and friends. I then forwarded it to others as I thought about them. Most answered very positively, a few didn’t answer, and no on disparaged me. My number had grown to about 100. About six months ago, very tentatively, I started dressing and going out in public. What fear and anxiety! Buying clothes on Amazon, afraid even to return those that didn’t fit for fear that the UPS guy would discover my secret. I started by attending all professional meetings (therapist, doctor, stylist, etc.) presenting fully as Emma. Thankfully I have a supportive network of friends. One girlfriend took me to Nordstrom Rack and Sephora for shopping a few weeks ago. We left loaded down with bags like the women in Sex and the City. Another suggested I go to a local woman’s consignment shop; they were wonderful. Last week I ran errands, first to a lumber store to buy a bunch of wood for basement shelves, to Nordstrom Rack to return a jacket (and yes, buy another), Trader Joe's, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond... all as Emma. Yesterday I went to pick up some sheet metal to fix a door, presenting as a woman. Talk about a bastion of testosterone. No one batted an eye. I also went out for coffee with a male friend whom I had told I’m trans but had never seen me dressed. As of yesterday I’m starting to dress all or most of the time, authentically as myself, a woman, Emma. I take the public transportation downtown, go grocery shopping, the bank, you name it. I agree completely that we need to be visible so that our sisters and brothers behind us will witness our progress while the cisgender population learns that we’re just out and about, living our lives in peace and harmony with everyone. So what's left? There are more bridges left to cross, such as: Using my feminine speaking voice that I'm taking weekly lessons on. I'm nervous about that. Thank goodness my next door neighbor liked the way my "Good morning!" sounded to her this morning and volunteered to make herself available for me to practice as needed. Go for a bra fitting. I'm waiting for my breasts to bud more before doing that. I imagine that one of these days my breast forms will feel even more uncomfortable riding on top of my natural breasts. Oh, and then I'll be wearing a bra all the time, too. Select and wear a women's swim suit out and about. Likely next summer. Go to Macy's and places like that for a makeover. I could really use professional help with my makeup. Get my fingernails and toenails painted. Gosh, once that's done there's really no way to present as anything but a woman, is there?  Get my hair styled and maybe add some highlights. My hair will be long enough in 4-6 months, I think, so I have some time.  Change my legal name, drivers license, passport, etc. That's probably for 2019! That's all I can think of for now but I'm sure I'll come up with more! Hey, that's part of the fun isn't it? XXXOOOXXX Emma  

Emma

Emma

 

Beginners Luck

I am supposed to be working on the computer this week learning how to use the AFLAC enrollment platform--which by the way is pretty cool if I can ever figure it out. However, I have been plagued with technical issues. First, I couldn't log into the system, and after a day and a half of trying, I finally got in so I could take the required courses. Now, I can't get the learning lab to work. Oh well. Support is closed for the day, so I'll call them in the morning. You'd think their training would be a little more user friendly.Technology is great when it works; not so much when it doesn't. (I like to use semi-colons. I don't know many who do.) Anyway, rather than sit at home and be frustrated, I have been going out in the field and approaching businesses like I was told to do. I wrote about yesterday's endeavor--most of which got lost in cyber space--20 approaches with one appointment set. This morning I did a small industrial park. In a little over an hour, I made 22 approaches, made contact with 11 decision makers, and set three appointments. I should do pretty well if I can keep this up, but you never know. I could make 40 approaches and end up with a zero. Still, I am encouraged. My boss asked me what I'm telling them. He said I don't need him anymore--not true. Now we'll have to see how many of these prospects convert into clients. I can't do that on my own yet. Still learning. In other news, I finally got a knee-length pleated skirt that I ordered ages ago. It's cute and fits so I'll keep it. I'm just not sure it's my style. I think I like maxi skirts better and dressy flowing pants. So anyway, I'll keep trying. Happy International Day of the Girl!

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Feminist Group event

Hi everyone, I'm pretty excited about an upcoming event that I'm involved with - it's part of a feminist Meetup group that I belong to. Each month we have a moderated discussion on some issue within the feminist movement (last month was about racism in feminism). This month I'm moderating the discussion on transgender issues - the title is "Are trans women real women?" (the title is meant to be a little provocative, and to have a very obvious answer - the organizer was worried about using it, but since I was ok with being identified as transgender in the blurb about it she was ok with the title). We're going to show a couple of short videos - one by a TERF explaining why she doesn't accept transgender people as women, and then one by Janet Mock, explaining how she realized that she was a woman (well, a girl, she was 5 when it happened). Then we'll have a discussion about it! The topic is really "what is a woman?" which should be pretty interesting - I expect some discussion about nature vs. nurture ("Female brain" vs social construct). This is another example of where I've gone over time, since it was only within the last year that I was trying to pretend I'm not transgender - now I'm openly leading discussions about the topic. That of course is another huge thing - I told a friend about this, she's known me for 8 or 9 years, and she was thrilled, but also recognized how far I had come, back when we met there's no way I would have been willingly doing a public speaking event. More later! xoxo Chrissy

Chrissy

Chrissy

 

Into the

I didn't write yesterday as I had an eye appointment, and my eyes were still dilated. Makes it hard to see. I was in AFLAC meetings all morning and into the afternoon prior to my doctor's appointment. I didn't even have a chance to grab lunch which is a rarity for me. I'm not much of a snacker, but I do like my three meals a day. I would say that the meetings were fairly typical for sales meetings. Goals were laid out; top producers were recognized; contests announced; plans set for the week ahead. It was a little bewildering the first time. Every industry has it's own jargon and acronyms, and it takes a little time to even know what everyone is talking about. After the meeting, I met with my sales manager to lay out my schedule for the week. It was supposed be a week doing lessons so that I could be credentialed to use the policy writing platform--it's all cloud-based now. While not best practice, you can even write a policy over the phone and have a signature texted. Paper is so 20th century. LOL. Well, that was not to be. I was finally able to log onto the AFLAC website, but then it asked me to change my password, and all I could get was an OOPS! message. So, I spent almost two hours with tech support--when I finally was able to get ahold of someone--and my issue is still not resolved. Maybe paper was better? Anyway, I had previously told the folks where I used to work that I would stop by to say hello. I haven't been back since I lost my job at the end of June, although some of the staff did come to my wife's memorial gathering. I felt it was time to check in. I got a warm welcome from staff and the students who were still there. I feel that they were genuinely happy to see me and I liked seeing them too. I even got invited to their Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know if I had mentioned, but I worked at PACE Center for Girls for almost 14 years as an English teacher and guidance counselor as well as special needs support. It's a program for girls who need extra acacemic and emotional support. I was often the only male figure there out of 40 staff and 80 girls. I seemed to fit in. Before I left, we did hire a facilities guy, Mr. Jose. He was really sad to see me go. So, we plenty of time on my hands, I figured I might as well get to work. I had read through and practiced how to approach businesses at the one-day sales school, and I had seen how my manager worked. All that was lacking now was for me to get out there and give it a go. The worst that could happen would be that people would say no. I picked areas that didn't look overly promising because I needed the practice. Mostly the business owners weren't there, so I would have to go back. Most of the ones I talked to weren't interested and I couldn't even convince them to see me for 10 minutes, but that happens. In the end, I did make one appointment for next week and even had to call and reschedule. At least I got 

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Sunday Again

I did my usual dusting and vacuuming and bathroom cleaning this morning. I also made a hamburger helper dish with the pound of hambuger that was in the freezer. I am trying to work my way through all the food we have on hand. My wife was a great one for stocking up. I can eat for a while on what we have on hand. My foray into cooking is going well enough. HH is not that big a deal. I didn't have any milk on hand so I substituted Eagle Brand Sweetened condensed milk which made the dish somewhat richer and heavier. I do need to keep a few things on hand, or at least read the directions before going shopping. My manager gave me a homework assignment for tomorrow to make some lists of people I know and businesses I deal with. So, I worked on that. This afternoon, I called on several of my neighbors to fill in some of the blanks. It was hit or miss, but I actually did get one positive response from a neigbor I don't know well who wants to look at my policies. So, you never know. I'm in meetings most of tomorrow and I will be doing coursework for AFLAC for the rest of the week. Back out to do follow-up and more prospecting after that. I'm just taking it easy tonight. I did start a new book, a P.J.Parrish crime fiction novel. So far, so good. I'llcheck in with the girls. It has been quiet there lately. We'll see what happens tonight.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Ho-hum

I guess everything is finally catching up with me. I have been pretty much in a whirlwind since my wife died in July what with one thing and another. I have kept myself super busy  while at the same time trying to make room for some social life which consists of daily visits to my friends down the block and chats with the girls. I have not minded being alone for the most part, I have to admit. I have enjoyed the freedom to be able to dress when at home and wear whatever feels right at the time. Otherwise, my life hasn't changed a whole lot. I am a homebody for the most part, and anyone who has a house knows, THEY ARE A LOT OF WORK! Most of which I don't mind doing--I like it when the place looks good, and I like being outside. Even when Sue was alive, I spent a good part of my day doing household chores.  Today, I got my new checks in the mail with only my name on them. Maybe that brought home the fact that I am truly on my own now. I'm not going to apoligize for feeling a litte down or sad. I think I'm entitled to some of that and I don't want anyone who reads this to feel that I need a lot of sympathy--well, a little maybe, but I'm basically okay. I read recently that it's not even healthy to try to be super positive, rah-rah, all the time. It's not natural. We all have our rhythms, and this is part of mine. I must say that it feels better just to write about it and put my thoughts and feeling on paper.  i did make the effort to get cleaned up tonight, and that felt good. I am dressed pretty casually, still in girl clothes but simply. I think I need something fun to read. I haven't read a good book in a while. I'm missing that. I say hi to the girls and crawl in bed with something good. Nght all. 

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Ho-hum

I guess everything is finally catching up with me. I have been pretty much in a whirlwind since my wife died in July what with one thing and another. I have kept myself super busy  while at the same time trying to make room for some social life which consists of daily visits to my friends down the block and chats with the girls. I have not minded being alone for the most part, I have to admit. I have enjoyed the freedom to be able to dress when at home and wear whatever feels right at the time. Otherwise, my life hasn't changed a whole lot. I am a homebody for the most part, and anyone who has a house knows, THEY ARE A LOT OF WORK! Most of which I don't mind doing--I like it when the place looks good, and I like being outside. Even when Sue was alive, I spent a good part of my day doing household chores.  Today, I got my new checks in the mail with only my name on them. Maybe that brought home the fact that I am truly on my own now. I'm not going to apoligize for feeling a litte down or sad. I think I'm entitled to some of that and I don't want anyone who reads this to feel that I need a lot of sympathy--well, a little maybe, but I'm basically okay. I read recently that it's not even healthy to try to be super positive, rah-rah, all the time. It's not natural. We all have our rhythms, and this is part of mine. I must say that it feels better just to write about it and put my thoughts and feeling on paper.  i did make the effort to get cleaned up tonight, and that felt good. I am dressed pretty casually, still in girl clothes but simply. I think I need something fun to read. I haven't read a good book in a while. I'm missing that. I say hi to the girls and crawl in bed with something good. Nght all. 

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

First day

My district manager met me at our local Dunkin Donuts to help me get started today and show me the ropes as it were. Basically, we went around the shopping center stopping in stores and restaurants, day care centers, you name , it in an attempt to set up appointments with the owners. In the end we actuatly did get to talk to three owners and set up three appointments. The next step is to go to the appointment and present our product line and see how it works for each business. My manager, Rich, is an old shoe kind of guy, a bit on the heavy set and pretty down to earth. His casual approach and easy-going manner work well for him , and is something I can easily adapt to. He bought lunch for us a Hurricane Grill and after lunch he let me do a few approaches on my own. It will take some practice, but it really isn't that hard and it is kind of fun to meet new people and get acquainted with all the shops and stores in my area. Next week, I will be completing more courses for AFLAC to get fully on-board. I'm finding that there is a lot to becoming an agent. Getting there. He wants me to start making money soon. This is a good thing.

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

 

Book Project

Hi all, I met on Tuesday with a person who is working on a book project about "transformations." Although not gender-specific, she indicated that most of the people she thinks will be featured will be female. One section of the book will be dedicated to trans-identified people, and it looks like I'm going to be one of them  Each person featured will have a short blurb, something about their story of transformation, and then a few related pictures. I'll write the initial blurb myself - my slant on it, as of now, is the idea that what started as a transition that I viewed as being to "become a woman" turned into a transition that I viewed as being to "become me." I'm also going to write the general introduction for the transgender section - her goal is to elevate our stories through this book, so that should be a really awesome project to be part of. More later  xoxo Chrissy

Chrissy

Chrissy

 

New B

Well, it didn't have to wait long to get started. This morning while I was chatting with Andrea and Cassandra, the AFLAC District Manager (DM) called to determine my availability and to get the ball rolling. I spent most of the morning filling out paperwork to be signed on with AFLAC and talking to people in the office. So, tomorrow I am in training all day, and then on Friday, I go out with the DM to make some calls and get my feet wet--pun intended. I am excited to start and a bit nervous as well. I believe I can be good at this, but I will feel better after I sell my first policy. I will keep my followers--Monica, Emma, and Chrissy--up to date.  

MichelleLea

MichelleLea

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