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  • Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

    By Lori

    Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices flowing; A daily journal about your life and experiences
    A journal documenting when you go full time
    A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery
    Dating experiences and tips
    Crossdressing tips
    Experience with makeup
    Passing in public
    Your experiences when you go out in public
    Restroom experiences
    Transitioning at work
    Dealing with counselors or medical personnel
    Introspection about your particular gender identity
    Dealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs
    Dealing with addictions
    Dealing with self-destructive behaviors
    Interactions with police or government workers
    Changing your drivers license, birth certificate, etc.
    Applying for jobs
    Your big day, when you go full time
    Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations)
    Experiences with electrolysis
    How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences
    Your recommendations to others about to follow your path
    Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender
    Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed
    What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity
    Poetry or prose
    These are a few ideas to get you started. Feel free to leave comments to suggest your own ideas, or just start a blog and share with everyone. Just log into your control panel to start your own blog. This could be interesting!
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    Well to begin with, i always felt like there was something different about me. When i was young i would sometimes look in the mirror and wonder what it was like to be a girl, but at the time i didn't give it much more thought than just "what if". When i started going to middle school i was paying a little more attention the the girls clothes. I remember thinking "why don't they make stuff that pretty for us"? Puberty went by pretty much unnoticed. Not sure if that's normal for some TG's but no real problems so i don't often question why i don't remember puberty. Anyway, around age 14 or 15 i found an old dress in the back of a closet. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. When i saw myself i got really self-conscious and confused so i tried to repress it and keep it out of my head from then on. I can recall a few times between then and now that i did a little more experimenting(panties, bras and eventually dresses again). It was still very scary and confusing and the shame kept me from talking to anyone about it. A few years ago i met an Australian woman named Caitlin (which is how i chose my name. Her idea and i loved it). I felt a connection with her that i never felt with anyone before and eventually i felt safe enough to tell her all my innermost secrets. She couldn't have been more supportive. After several long and deep talks(and a few dress-up sessions) over the past few years i have become much more comfortable with myself and i can identify myself as TG (tho i have to admit i don't like the title) without shame. I even found the courage to tell my best friend. She didn't take it too well at first but has accepted me for me. I asked Caitlin to marry me not long ago and she said yes :D. I'm looking forward to the many changes this new life is gonna bring. My mother is undergoing treatment for leukemia at UCLA so for the sake of keeping her stress to a minimum i have decided not to come out to my family yet. I'm not looking forward to the reactions but i will cross that bridge when the time comes. I know i can expect to loose alot of my family and the thought of that is so depressing. I love my family and there is not 1 relative that i am prepared to loose. My fiance tells me if they don't accept me then its their loss. Well thats the problem. Its not just theirs. Its my loss too. But which is worse? Ridicule from the ones you love most or the constant torture of hiding yourself for fear of ridicule? I have lost so much sleep just trying to find that one answer. But in the end the only one that can answer that is me. Maybe it wont be as bad as i think (coming from a baptist family i can imagine some pretty harsh scenarios) But for the first time in my life i like me and i don't want to give that up. Thanks for reading

    Kaitlyn

  1. Tr{Anndy}

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    {A Word to the Wise: the last time I wrote a blog was for a class about the Social Net in which we read Gregory Ulmer and were introduced to his "puncept;" therefore, I apologize in advance for my frequent use of puncepts in my writing. And while we're on that topic, I apologize for my terrible writing, period.}

    I suppose this is my introduction, and despite my ability to write a mean essay (present thesis excluded), I'm really rather horrible at writing about myself. Anyway, I imagine that my story isn't unlike most of your stories... although I tend to imagine that most of you are much further along your trans* journey (my therapist calls this projection, I believe). The first time I remember thinking I was boy rather than a girl was in kindergarten when all the boys got to be loud and fun and the girls were expected to jumprope or whatever it was that girls were supposed to do. I never did it.

    But this story really starts a number of years later, when I was 14 (15? the years are blurred thanks to PTSD, but that's another subject all together). I spent a lot of my younger years on dial-up AOL pretending to be a guy: first a straight guy, then a gay guy. For a while there I was extremely obsessed with gay guys, and my "bff" at the time, Ro, was a gay guy (unfortunately he was/is in deep denial about this). He was the first person I came out to. "I want to be a gay guy." (I probably confessed this to him during one of our makeout sessions on my grandfather's golf cart--I was a wild child *insert sarcasm here*.) Being the kind of friend he was (and the kind of mom I had, who thought all my friends were hers as well), he told her my secret. I grew up in an ultraconservative part of South Carolina and my mother, of course, was slightly disturbed at this new information. Give her some credit, it was 2001, and even though I have these fantasies about going back and coming out at a younger age, the truth is, it was a totally different time then. So, she swept me off to a therapist.

    Depression.

    Social Anxiety.

    And the biggie...

    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    My life from then on was defined by this diagnosis. I got away with dressing like a guy for a long time because I was goth in high school, which, oddly enough, my mom loved. Things changed when she died in 2006. My mother never knew me as the daughter she always wanted (in fact, she lost 2 daughters: a miscarriage before I was born, and me... the odd, in-between daughter). To cope with her death, I became the person I thought she wanted me to be. Ultra girly. Happy to go shopping, polish my nails, play with babies, or whatever it was that I thought defined the feminine.

    I still played boy online. It was my only escape.

    It used to be that you only ever heard of MTF trans*people. In the months after my mother died (I remember this clearly because I was living with my dad) I ordered a copy of "The Big Gay Book of Erotica" or something. The last story was about a transman. What? (I'm imagining Jack Skellington singing "What is This?!") So there it was. I was a FTM. It took me 5 years to accept that. And here I am.

    And I will leave you with some lyrics from Jack's Lament. Because I can.

    Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones

    An emptiness began to grow

    There's something out there, far from my home

    A longing that I've never known.

    And finally... I'm Anndy.

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    I have sat here wondering, "should I write this story, and, will anyone actually believe it?" Well, here I am making a start, and hopefully, a finish at some later date. And, if you believe it or not, is not something that I can control. All I can say is, its true, every word. No matter how dramatic, or, how much like an Hollywood movie it may seem like. This is a true story, written as it actually happened. And this blog, is by no means, the whole story. But maybe I will get around to that later, if you enjoy this little snippet.

    Oh, and please forgive my bad grammar etc. I have dyslexia.

    So allow me to begin at the beginning, the beginning of the end! I went on a six month contract, However, 18 years later, I was still there. I worked in Saint Peters burg and Moscow, the two disputed capitals of Russia. I was a croupier by profession and went to work in one of its many grand casino's that had sprung up, after the wall had fallen down. However, that is another story. My story, for this entry, starts 10 years later, in the very polluted, industrial city of Zaporozhye, in Ukraine.

    I was married to a beautiful Ukrainian girl, her name is Olea. I never lied to her about who I was, in fact, I told her on our second date. She was fine about it, and not only that, she went out and bought me a dress. A black velvet cocktail dress that must have cost her a whole months salary, at least! We were happy together, very happy. She became my best friend, soul mate and, after a year, my wife. I thought it would never end, as I suppose, everyone does.

    So, here and now, I will hold my hands up and take the blame. Why? Because the reason I went to Russia in the first place was to save enough money to pay for my Gender reassignment. But instead of saving, I had lived the high life, spent the lot on Drink, girls, guys, fancy hotels and big cars. So, I decided to move to the Ukraine, start again, and save for my Gender reassignment. So, allowing myself to be distracted again, was absolutely crazy, Especially when my gender identity was beginning to drive me out of my mind, as it does us all, eventually! And the problem is, no matter how hard people try to understand what it i to be transsexual, unless you are transsexual, you simply cannot.

    Olea tried to understand, she did her best and gave it her all. However, I was getting worse by the day, my fem me side was becoming more and more demanding, and as a result, I was falling into depression. I was angry and my mood swings were beginning to drive us apart. I was giving up on life as a whole, and began to spend hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month and now year after year, with my head buried in World of War Craft. From being a means of escape, Azeroth, had become my whole world, my reality, my home. My female character had become more than a character, she was me! For 3 years or more, I don't remember exactly how long it was, I lived my every waking moment in Azeroth, my life had become a cartoon character in cyberspace!

    In all honest I had become completely oblivious to the real world.

    It was a warm August evening when I finally dragged myself out of Azeroth and checked my e-mails. There must have been 30 or 40 unread mails, mostly junk mail. I started to go down the list, ticking the junk as I went, for deleting. Until one e-mail caught my eye, "Hi Roxy, do you really know your wife?" It was strange because only a hand full of close friends knew my fem me name, and I had never used it online, anywhere. I re-read the title again, then clicked the link to open it.

    It simply read, follow the links below if you want to know the truth! My curiosity was pricked.

    There were 5 links in total, all containing the words, sex, naughty, even school girl and Daddy's Girl. But the most striking word of all was my wife's name. I sat back and gazed over the links, again and again. Studying them, not wanting to open them in case I did find a truth that I didn't want to know. Casually, I scrolled the mouse over the first link and double clicked. The page opened, and the page content appeared. In the top right hand corner of the screen was a picture of my wife, she was kneeling on a bed with her legs open. She was dressed on a school girls uniform, she had pig tails in her hair and she was sucking on a lollipop.

    There was a description of herself, and what she enjoyed doing in bed. And what she was willing to do, and how much it would cost. There was pages of reviews, all good reviews and a page full of pictures. All the other links took me to similar sites, showing my wife naked, half naked and wearing school uniforms. My stomach began to turn, I felt sick. Rage was building up inside me, it was a good thing she wasn't there at the time I exploded. I picked up the monitor and slammed it down onto the desk again and again until it was smashed to pieces, then I kicked the processor repeatedly until I had smashed all the plastic off it, then I pulled the drawers out of the cupboards and thew them at the walls. I pulled cupboards over and smashed pictures on the walls. I lashed out at everything, until I fell down in the middle of the wreckage and cried. I lay their, crying and sobbing like a baby, until I couldn't cry any more. That was the first time in my life that I had considered suicide, and seriously wanted to die. It was also the first time in my life that I had seriously considered killing someone. And she was due back, at any time.

    M.T. F Soon!!!!! Watch this space.

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    Latest Entry

    I wrote this some time back as a letter to many of my friends on Facebook to clue them in on who I am. I also wrote it as an encouragement to anyone else that may be traveling the same road I am. We all have issues, problems or obstacles that keep us from moving forward in our lives. It is only by the grace and mercy God has shown me that I have gotten as far as I have. No matter what journey you find yourself on, I hope I can lend some encouragement along your way.

    You might have seen some of the videos from some famous athletes, politicians or other celebrities. Well, I thought it would be important to add my voice. I’m nobody famous. I’m just someone who understands that your teenage years can seem to be some of the most difficult times of your life. It took a life time to come to the point of accepting myself. Don't make the same mistake I did.

    ALL through high school and for many years after, I denied the world to see who I really was. As a good friend once told me, it wasn’t so much as I 'came out', but I finally let the world in. I finally summoned the courage to let the world know the really me. You see, I wasn’t born Meggan Renee, I was born Mark Thomas.

    Growing up, I truly feared what people might say or even do if they found out the real me, I did my best to hide that I wanted to be a girl. Feeling different kept me somewhat isolated from the other kids – don’t get me wrong – I had my friends and those are the people that have stuck with me for over 30 years, even when I told them I was transitioning.

    All through elementary school, I was the smallest in my class. That alone made me target of bullies from kindergarten all through my senior year of high school. There were times I faked being sick and went home from school just to avoid the bullies waiting for me between classes. In high school, my Christian faith was also a source of ridicule. With all of that going on, I never had the courage to speak up and let people know I felt different – I didn’t want the bullying to get worse.

    Trust me when I tell you that depression and the thought of suicide was a constant in my life. I felt many times that if I just walked off and disappeared, no one would miss me. In my adult years, I dealt with Anorexia and Bulimia, just to feel I had some control in my life. But I have just now started to truly learn that it is not the good and easy times in our life that strengthens us. It is the storms in our lives that help us learn to live. God gives us strength to endure and over come the obstacles on the road of our lives. Many times, that strength God provides us comes in the way of family, friends, teachers, pastors, and even professional councilors.

    I want to tell you, You are NOT alone!! There are so many people around you that want to help if you are feeling isolated, different, or alone. There are three words I want you to remember - It gets better!

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    Hi there,

    I so suck at writing but here goes. I am biologically a male in my early 30s at this point. I wanted to create this blog to be able to write wherever I am about the truth of what goes on in my mind and heart. Truth is I mostly hide from the world in real life and stay away from many people that do not know the real me. I will explain more as I write more here. I used to have another personal diary online years ago where I opened up about things but I got locked out of that one through changing emails and such and then couldn’t recover my password, etc. I tried to start a new one over at this other unnamed site but the format and everything has changed so much and it looks to complicated. Hopefully this one works better. I do have a hand written journal but I am better actually typing things out instead of hand writing them.

    So, I don’t want to babble on about that. I will open up more personally about me (pictures and such along my journey) but not really going to be sharing details such location, etc while I am coming out here and starting my journey. Mainly to prevent any privacy issues with family members and such finding this and reading about what really goes on in my brain, in my heart and behind closed doors. Also, there have been some hate crimes where I live. More on that another time. I am sure one of my closest friends will be reading this blog but I trust them with my life so. Though I am not positive they will.

    A short and not so sweet bio of me is this: I suffered from mental and physical abuse from childhood up through my teen years and the main consequence of this was developing what is called Dissociative Identity Disorder. Most would know it more as having split or multiple personalities. I have now suffered from this since the early 1990s and it is not fun though it has improved greatly to where I can function in society. I have male and female personalities. The most prominent one being female. She is the alter who is in control the most. Sometimes I think even more than me. Her being female and the most prominent alter I know she is a part of who I am deep in my being but being free and happy as a female. I have always related to girls more than guys since I was a kid. I always played with girls in school more than boys and always flocked to my girl cousins as well. I even was more interested in “girl” toys, books, movies, etc while I was alone. Heck, I even wanted to play Barbies, My Little Pony more than the action figure stuff growing up. I remember adopting my Aunt’s baby doll that she still have from when she was a child when I was 7 years old and loved it and wanted it with me always until my parents got rid of it out of embarrassment. My grandmother even hand made me a Cabbage Patch Doll after I insisted on having one like my 3 girl cousins had their own. (they were one of the most popular girl toys in the 80s). That disappeared after a few years as well. I was biologically a boy after all and according to my parents I needed to act like one. Mainly I think because of my father. He was and still is a “man’s man” and yes even a “homophobe” I realise now. My father even forced me to stop referring to him as “Daddy” when I was 8 years old as this was not boyish to him. AS a teenager hearing words like “I wont have my boys being cocksuckers. You have never ever bring home any boys.” So classy. He will never change. Most of his family is the same way. Even my younger brother now.

    To this day as an adult I find myself fitting in with women more than men and wishing I was one physically. Yes, it is also not a strange thing for someone to question my sexual orientation. My main sexual history has been with women though. I have enjoyed sex with women sometimes, though it was less of a “sexual attraction” and more of enjoying having physical love from someone. Experiencing them as the people they are, sharing love and admiring and wishing I had the same biological body as they did. That was always the true me in my mind and in my heart. Then of course there was my female alter fully living female life quietly, though not in a sexual way. There have been some “connections” I have had with males physically but I may talk about that in other posts. Obviously I just spoke about my family, that would have really made the shit hit the fan. I guess officially I can say I am bisexual as I do find myself attracted to guys as well however and if I at this point I can see myself in a relationship with a guy and not have an issues with it. I am open to either gender. At times though I am just not very “sexual” at all. Many times I can see myself also just not having that type of relationship with someone and just living life with out sex I guess. Though I would love to have that strong connection with someone through everything of my being and to share my journey, life and everything with. No matter what gender.

    I would and I and am working towards the possibility of physically transitioning into who I am inside. I do have a friend who is a pre op transgendered female to male. I identify with him a lot and I know my female alter, does a lot being completely female in every way without any confusion or fear, taking that fact and running with it but stuck in my biologically male body. I can say without question if I had a choice to magically change my gender I would make myself female without thinking twice and be thrilled about it. That being said, I havent been out in public in “female” clothes and makeup (except on Halloween). I am in the early stages of transitioning so not decided on, nor do I have the financial resources to go having surgeries or taking female hormones at this point or see myself doing it at any point in the future until I get myself financially secure and living in a more comfortable area. The extent of that so far has been having long hair or my female alter wearing a wig, painting nails, wearing make up, etc when in private or around my closest friends and as I said Halloween where I was in my glory. I do shave what body hair I do have as I have never liked it. That never caused much of a problem as I have never been a super hairy person. Even for a male body. I know that might sound weird to most. I dress mostly covered a lot of the time. As I said in so many ways I am forced to be male but I am starting to take this journey as I need to be happy.

    I have never been really close with my parents, my one and only brother, or any of my extended family as an adult. In many ways it is for the best as I have to pretend to be “manly” around them. I see my brother and grandparents maybe once or twice a year and even then it is not for very long and my mother maybe once every six weeks for a few minutes. My father lives on the other side of the country so it is maybe once a year as well. I smile when my father and brother make a comment “That’s so gay.” about what I am watching, saying, listening to, etc. If only they knew the true me.

    I have been out of work at this point for almost a year due to “health reasons” which have a lot to do with what I have just been talking about. More the DID and depression though my condition with that is improving a lot.I will have to go back to work here soon though. More pretending to get used to but I am feeling very positive about my future and hoping to be able to fully come out sooner than later to everyone and be the happy true female me. So I know this turned into an extremely long post but I wanted to tell a bit about me. I doubt anyone will really be reading this crap anyway. Anyone, who does I think you very, very much as I need all the support really right now.

    Until next time. I hope to post lots more to share what is on my mind.

    Sam xo ♥

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    Would like to say making Davina a smooth sissy was easy, it was not.

    Wax strips worked to a degree but it was a slow process so we resorted to a razor in the bath and just concentrated on a smooth chest and stomach and legs.

    After lots of messing around the result felt good and enpowering and hopefully a more complete hair removal session will happen soon but as they say live and learn.

    The photo taking that followed was great fun and hopefully you like some of the results shown below.

    Davina

    twitter @davinadiva

    blogentry-22387-0-22426500-1337156879_thblogentry-22387-0-20097700-1337157033_thblogentry-22387-0-86217400-1337157180_thblogentry-22387-0-08884600-1337157379_thblogentry-22387-0-56288600-1337157517_th

  2. Latest Entry

    I recently received an e-mail notice from here that someone had wanted to start a personal message. The e-mail stated that the individual wanted me to use their hotmail account to do so. Under some circumstances I would not mind. Under some I would.

    The person used a screen name and the hotmail address gave no indication who they were. The names did not appear familiar.

    I do not blame people for using screen names. Safety, workplace discretion and families all may play a part when one is transgender. I can understand that.

    I typically do what may not appear to be the brightest thing in the world. I use my real name and tell the truth about myself. I personally do not care what anyone thinks. I have my reasons for what I do and if that offends some so be it. When I am offended I tend to forgive as I would hope others would forgive me.

    I do not try to hide the fact that I am a heterosexual cisgender male minister. That alone causes some to have preconceived notions about me. Some may even hate before knowing anything about me. Sort of how people treat some of you as transgenders.

    Neither do I hide the fact that in accordance with the word of God I do not agree with transgender views.

    You will note that I never openly use the word of God to slam any transgender posts. Neither would I do so in private.

    Some may wonder why I am here then. Not only the transgenders here but people who may know me in real life both in workplace and ministry.

    The truth is that even though I am in disagreement with transgender views I still know that I would want people to treat me right. That means that if I was not sure about anything and questioning I would hope someone just might be around that could help and have the guts to go where some may not.

    That is part of the basics of Christianity. While I may not agree with the views here there may be that babe in Christ that is wondering about some things about what the word of God says. In such a case I would hope that I could give the right answer.

    Not to agree with everyone. Not to disagree with everyone. Just to be honest and tell the truth.

    There are those however on any site that would just love to ask a question so they can set someone up. Run back and tell all that guy is a trans basher or whatever when it isn't the truth.

    I have gay friends and co-workers. I also have some co-workers that I suspect to be transgender but not out.

    I would never out any of them nor embarrass any of them. I merely try to treat them like anyone else. What they are or how they feel about straight, gay, cisgender and transgender issues means nothing at work. If they wish to reveal they are such and such to me at work they will. If not they won't. I'm there for a job and not to please people or gossip.

    The reason I say all of this is because naturally I won't answer e-mails if I do not recognize the person in one way or another.

    If people realize that I am here and open about who I am they should be open about who they are to me in private.

    Anyone in ministry has their life a rather open book to the world. Many watch just to see if they can find fault. Sadly some try to find fault so they think they have an excuse at the judgment seat of Christ. "Well he did this or that" or "Well he said this or that" or "Well he was on such and such a site."

    The truth is that we all give account of what we do and say in this world on that day. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. If someone sees me here let it be known that it is in the hope that should there be a babe in Christ and that individual wants to ask someone that is willing to be here about scripture that I am willing to help.

    I am not seminary educated but then neither were Peter and John. They took note they were ignorant and unlearned men but they were with Jesus.

    I guess in conclusion what I am saying is that if a person ever wants to send an e-mail be honest about who you are.

    I probably have enough enemies and people wanting to either set me up or gossip about me just like you all.

    I don't have any ill will towards whoever sent the e-mail. They evidently joined and sent it and then left. A search of members revealed nobody by either names. The link on the e-mail showed it could not be found here even though it brought me to this site.

    As I said, even though I do not agree with transgender views I hope that the vast majority of my blog posts show I do not judge you all. How you live and what you believe is between you and God. I only drop in from time to time as on other sites I have had people send pm's asking questions about scripture and such.

    To me the most important thing in this world isn't whether or not I am liked. It isn't what I possess or what the Lord gives me.

    The most important thing to me is that even though the Lord shared all glory with his Father before this world was created he chose to come into it and die for the sins of people like me and you who could never repay him.

    He lived a life of poverty and being hated by all men for what he spake and what he did. When he told the truth and rebuked those that were wrong they wanted to kill him. He knew that when he returned and drove the moneychangers out of the temple they would want to kill him. Yet today nobody wants to believe that he will get angry when people insist on doing that which he hates.

    He was so poor that it took a miracle for him to pay his and Peter's taxes. Two hundred pennyworth is not a great wealth. I'd like to see some of the rich ones try to live on $2.00 today. It's a far cry from a mansion or jet.

    He was blindfolded and beaten and his beard was pulled out and yet he stood there silent for those he would soon be butchered alive for.

    They debate if he was white or black when scripture shows him to be the olive tree in the garden of the Lord God. A scourge removed much of that skin and I wonder as they pulled his beard out how much flesh came off with it.

    All fled and nobody was there to even give a word of encouragement as the all this happened and he went to the cross.

    Still he spake forgiveness and forgave the one thief that repented.

    He finished the building of the house of God and gave up the ghost. He never once railed out against those who mocked, beat, scourged and crucified him.

    He was the perfect witness of what Christians should be.

    He was honest and it caused him to live in poverty and being hated of all men.

    I would hope that more would try to be honest.

    Even in a worst case scenario it would never be as bad as what he went through.

    Having said such should anyone lurk and know me or be a member and want to send an e-mail all I ask is that they be honest about who they are.

    It should be clear that would not out nor hurt anyone.

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    It's unreal how many times in a day people ask me the same kind of question when they learn I'm an FTM transgender. It seems to be common for people to ask if I want to be a man because I like women.

    No, I like men. I'm highly attracted to men. Gay men. I'm a very dominant person by nature.

    Then I have to explain further. It's not a want to be a man it's a need. My inner self and my outer don't match. I wasn't meant to have breasts and a vagina. I was meant to be a man and it's a deep true feeling. It's not easy to explain but that's about the easiest way to explain it.

    Then they ask me how I have sex. And then it's awkward because I will tell them and they get a little grossed out and defensive. It's not my fault they asked. ~shrug~

  3. The Reality of Being a Transsexual

    By Cindy D. Keranen

    I am often asked what I would do differently if I had the choice to do it all over again. This is a powerful question and its one I have pondered many times. Looking back I made so many mistakes and it has cost me so much in terms of heartache. I wish I would’ve done so much differently.

    When I decided to become a, “fulltime woman” I could not have known just how difficult it would be. I was working a good job; it paid well and the hours were great. I was commonly complimented on my work ethic and praised constantly over my ability to get things done. Before I, “came out” no one knew what I was and I made the mistake of talking to my supervisor about becoming fulltime. I informed him I was getting my name legally changed and I would look very different when I reported for work. He assured me I would have no issue; I would learn this simply wouldn’t be true in the end.

    When I first came out I wasn’t very passable. My makeup was horrible, my breasts were silicone forms, and I was very odd looking for a West Texas girl. I dressed as any other, and my mannerisms were feminine enough, but my features were not well hidden. The awkwardness of my appearance was only further enhanced with the fact I was wearing high color shirts. I wasn’t able to show any cleavage because my breasts were forms. My voice was feminine, my mannerisms were feminine, but it was not a secret what I was.

    When I came out I was harassed, debased, humiliated, and made fun of by my coworkers who made a habit of calling me by my birth name and also sir. To make matters worse, management was only not supportive as they said they would be, but they apart of it. Ultimately, when I was threatened by a coworker and I physically confronted him my employment was terminated. This would be an issue over and over again.

    I applied to jobs time and time again. Because it took me some time to get my makeup down and also because I was wearing long sleeve shirts with high collars in the summer time, I was unable to find a job. When I was hired and subsequently discovered, I was terminated because of the other employee’e uneasiness with my situation.

    There I was, unable to revert to being a man and unable to find gainful employment as a woman. I have been fulltime for almost two years now and still I have been unable to even start my HRT regiment. I am only passable now because I have taken the stand of, “I don’t care anymore what you think” and my confidence and makeup skills compensate for any doubts. I am no closer to now to the end of my transformation then I was two years ago. I shower with my eyes closed, I shave in the shower, and I apply my foundation in total darkness. I don’t open my eyes until it’s at least applied. I hate my body; it isn’t mine, and trying to fix the issue is proving all too difficult.

    So, my advice to anyone considering becoming a fulltime transsexual woman is this; take your time, get your ducks in a row, and be prepared to find new employment. Save your money, get going good on HRT, and most of all get good with the application of your, “war paint”. Be prepared; don’t make the mistakes I did. If I would’ve stayed, “in the closet” only another six months, I would have had my breast augmentation and the money for my SRS. (I was 3 weeks away from my breast surgery when I was fired and one paycheck). Be sure you are passable, and be prepared for a long and difficult road.

    I am almost 33 years old and there is little hope I will ever have my surgeries in time to be young enough to ever enjoy all the benefits of being a woman in our society. Please, be prepared!

  4. I don't believe I've said it before, but it should be noted that these blog posts are (and are going to be) mostly stream-of-thought pieces with minimal editing.

    Studies have found, I am told, that emotion cannot be maintained for significant periods of time. Whether a person's life and environment are good and bad, key moments not withstanding, most people will keep a dull and steady equilibrium of neutrality.

    Perhaps that theory can explain why I do not on a daily basis tear my hair out, shriek myself hoarse or attempt to throw myself from some precipice or other. I rarely shake myself to pieces with self-loathing and fear I will never begin to approach my ideal - feminine - self image. Weeks can go by in emotional mediocrity, where I might almost be resigned to remaining... as I am.

    I wonder, am I unusual in this as a transitioning would-be-woman. Does it show a death of hope? Or, more terrifyingly still, that I was mistaken all along?

    Am I, in fact, cismale?

    No, that can't be right, I am sure of that much at least. I react to that thought as I might to the existential horror of realising I am some inhuman, Lovecraftian being.

    But still... the concern remains - why do I not feel as keenly as I might?

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    Back to the old favorite...using song titles as blog titles -.-'

    I've manged to do a week of uni without productively doing much at all. I didn't think that was possible.

    This is only a quick blog update with things I've gleaned this week.

    1. One of my old friends from secondary school who i'm close to (in the way we're friends) drunkenly asked me out via text. I was apprehensive and brushed him off but he was persistent. I proceeded to question him about his reasons for doing this because i swear we'd had this conversation before and he'd previously said he couldn't date me as a ftm because he was straight. His views appear to be fluctuating. Although i'm sad that i'm making my friends question their sexuality.
    2. I stayed with my sister over the weekend because i'm photographing her for my course. I've just concluded that if i'm ever in peril or need to talk to someone i just go there. I don't know why i don't now. She's ridiculously open to everything.
    3. I had a lip piercing done on Friday of this week (27/04) I only got round to telling my parents today. From my mothers reaction you'd have generally though i had just told her i was pregnant and i was quitting uni. I thought she'd be more open with stuff like this...but clearly not. This also ties in here, i thought i was making progress with my parents with the whole gender dysphoria thing. Clearly not.

    I think i'll just be staying at my sister's this summer :3

  5. Can gender dysphoria cause sleep problems?

    I should be asleep right now, but I'm up way earlier than I'm supposed to be and it isn't the first time.

    I'm used to a certain amount of insomnia after working 3rd shift for over a decade. That changed two weeks ago, and after a brief period of instability I've been living on a normal sleep schedule for the past week or so. It's been great for me and for my family. Well, at least the waking part. At night, I feel like I spend a considerable amount of time in bed either dreaming vivid dreams or tossing and turning. I think the transgender confusion is causing it. Feels like it based on some of the dreams and odd thoughts that race through my head during the tossing & turning phase.

    Like I said, life has been pretty good over the past week. My marriage is on much more solid ground than it has been in a while. But the TG cloud still poses a threat. I went over some of those issues in a previous blog (). My wife and I both worry one of us will eventually leave the other over this whole situation. She predicted we'll just end up at an impasse and split from there. Hopefully not. Hopefully we can make compromises to both sides' satisfaction. For now, I guess I'll enjoy the days and endure the fitful nights until a resolution can be found.

  6. new to the site here. guess the best way for others to know me till I get more pics up. make a blog of the things I have faced trying to become the person I have always felt I should be. still do till this day. lot of things may sound clecheish. but these things do pertain to me.

    on a nice cool monday morning there was a son born in houston texas. 8:00am in the morning. at a hospital which has been closed since then and now the herman hospital in houston. the year was june 24, 1968. time approximately 8:00am in the morning. young brian was born. some people can remember back to the day they were born. me I can remember back to about when I was four. that was when playing with my sister. playing with boys never felt so right.

    when playing with the boys the games and what not. never felt comfortable. at home playing with my sister in her room. felt more natural. now growing up my family. they are the family who believe that boys should be boys. and girls girls. not boys be girls.very set in their ways. there were many of times when with my sister I let her fix my hair. we played with the makeup when our parents were not around. when our parents caught us. they came down n me the most.

    even at that young age I have always felt like a sister. my mother a year after my sister was born was pregnant again but after 6 mon ths had a miscarriage. it was a lil girl. they tried again and then came their son. I always wonder if the child they lost was really supposed to be me. I was just given a second chance to be born. but was born in the wrong body. was the girl she miscarriage was that the true me. for I have always felt I should have been her.

    I grew up in a very country home. predujice was at a all time back then. someone like me ever was to be found out. could very possibly be in grave danger for being who she is. so whenever my parents were not around. I always dressed as the girl I knew I was.

    in school say like in physical education class. I was always uncomfortable about dressing in gym clothes in front of others. when we play team games. they would split the boys into two teams. one make them take their shirts off for skins. the other left their on for shirts. that always petrefied me the most to be on skins. always wanted to cover my chest. so flipped my shirt over my neck so every chance i had I could pull my shirt down.

    never really wore shorts cause shaved my leggs alot. and being a boy with shaved leggs was not right for a boy to have. I hated so much knowing I was getting body hair. I do have to admit the emotions I felt inside. I did give a thought or two. suicide but believed in god and made it through.

    I never had the attractions to girls like a boys should have. the emotions to girls was the emotions a girl would have. the new clothes that were out. fashions such as dresses, tops, pants and shoes. what kind of makeup was out and the latest perfume. things I only wish I could have. my parents never would get it and I was too young to buy.

    15 I got my first job. I was getting my own money. had my beginners permit to drive. father gave me his lil truck to drive. it was then I started to buy my clothes for the first time. couldn't buy many cause I had to keep them hid from my parents. my parents were not rich and always struggled with what they had. so if I wanted something. I had to get it myself.

    things had gotten complicated at home when I was 17. 3 months after school I was forced to leave by a choice I didn't want to make. when on my own. I started to buy more clothes. the high school I went to last made me cut my hair cause i always had long hair. I got my first wig at 17. I started to adventure out. live several places around close to home. moved back a couple of times. I started to hang out at a church for students at a major university they have in that town. I was catholic so did do alot for the church. one time I was back at home my mother found my clothes. all hell broke out. they took everything I had and got rid of it. they acted like I was possesed or something. took me to the priest at the church I was hanging out at. devastated me so much. my secret was out.

    my mom was getting rid of some of her clothes remember she asking me if there was something I wanted. she didn't mean it. I told her yes and she made sure I knew she was messing with my head when I was being serious. 2 weeks later moved out for good. never lived at the house again.

    I bought alot more clothes and makeup and started to take trips around town. never could go to public places still cause of the predujice all around. you had the typical country back woods rednecks. you had the infamous kkk which was very strong at the time. white supremisives, and the black panther and other black groups then.

    I moved to a town 65 miles away. seemed like everyday my parents were there. so being on my own never felt that way. the town I moved to did have a gay community. but still had to becareful what I did of all the other radcial groups. that was when I went to my first gay club and met robert.

    now in this town the gays were in a group all of their own. when I learn about drag queens, tv, and ts's. back then transgender wsn't in the dictionary I guess cause noone ever mentioned it.

    back to robert. I always had my idea of what or what I thought my life consited of. the club was called chances r. I sold things to clubs around town and so scared to death of this place cause going in there I never knew what to expect.

    I walk in with the girl I was replacing. when going they say always back then go with someone of the opposite sex. if not the gays would test you if they saw you were straight. first person I came up to was what I thought was a talking wall. his name was robert. 7' 6" 500lbs. we shook hands. lokk up at him. with his blue eyes he looked into my blue eyes with my knees trembling. he replied, you have really pretty eyes. my throat sunk in my stomach. he knew I was nervous then he whispered to me. he had my back. come to him and he would back me up. after that point. being in that kind of atmosphere I then felt like this is where I belong. watched the drag show and the others. felt like it was at a new home. this was where I belonged.

    somehow I got into the strip club scene. that was such a learning experince for me. seeing the girls naked never really affected me. I actually had talks with the girls like any other girls would have. I watch how they did makeup. how they did hair. for 20 years I worked those clubs and learn so much.

    whenever I wanted to spend time as female my parents always came around. got where it didn't still feel like I was away. so I moved to south texas. 400 miles away. I always did miss seeing them but kept in contact and visited when I could. going to south texas I had more chances to go out more. I was so happy.

    I know now when doing hrt. always go through a doctor. so I was ordering overline my female hormones and estrogen. and my steroid blockers. I always worked trying to make a living. all dead end job. had two good ft jobs but got laid off at both. parents always say need anything just call. yea right. when I did they gave me slack about it and lots of time never got it. my nephew was grown and he asked so much that when it came to me. it was always no. many of times I thought I was going to be homeless. I took the pills when I could. afford them that is.

    as time went on. started to hear the word transgender. so did alot of research on my own on the transgender community. got really familiar with it. for I was transgender but never had to income coming to pursue it. still as of 4/19/2012 I do struggle alot. I wish I won the lottery so I could do my hrt. I have already contacted a hospital in california for the srs. when that happens I would like the ffc as well. I am hoping to get implants this year so far. I have a psychiatrist lined out for my therapy. but she is like 25 miles away and the cost is alot for me on my income.

    the job I have now. I have tried to transition some but they won't see it. I can't really go against their rules even those it is against the law for denying what I am becoming. my skin is softer. hair is thicker but need to do so transplants to get it to grow right. at work all my under garments are females. bra, panties, etc. if I could know of a job they would let me transition and paid good with benefits I would go. but right now stuck here at this dead end job. so at work I have to portray my male side. but at home I live all female. the hospital in california said even if it is just at work I am not female but the rest of the time I am. after the therapy and year on hrt. they would do my srs for my. so when they said that it did give me more hope.

    I feel female. I live female. everything I do away from work is female. being female is the life I only know. so hopefully one day I will win the lottery and I can quit here and go ft as the women I feel inside. long time ago I was petrified going out in public. now its only natural for me.

    so the obstacle I have faced in life. the banishment from the parents. the predjudice of the many radcial groups. surviving everyday doing what came natural for me. thinking of my friends that are like me that didn't make it. I miss them everyday. helps make me stronger everyday.

    so if you ask me today what I am. I would reply transgender working on my transition. but with the obstacle I face with money and challenges with others. just takes so much longer.

    my biggest dream is this. when I die. I want to leave this world full female. I came in as male but always felt the body that was given to me wasn't the right one. the miscarriage my mother had. to me that was the body that was meant for me.

    I work hard everyday on my transition. and look for others girls, ts tv, and women that can except me for who I am and let me be me. as for men I would like to meet one one day. but he has to see me as me only. that is what is on the inside not the outside and treat ne with the highest respect that way.

    there is so much more about me than what is listed here. I could go on for days. even though it just seemed I did. I am always open for questions. cause I studied so much on my lifestyle. I never mind giving advice to others. only thing I regret in life. I wasn't more informed on the steps and was able to become a full women much earlier. my life is good. but if I could have transitoned earlier. I would have been so much happier.

    well hope this gives you the background of me and the challenges I had to face and stil have yet to come. feel free to ask anything. I am very open to all aspect of my life. I appreciate you all take the time and reading. hope you find what you seek when it comes to me.

    samantha christine

    ( friends call me sammie)

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    I started dressing when I was 5 or 6...I used to wear my moms panty hose and heels...I just love the feel of the silkyness of the hose against my skin..And loved the way walking in high heels felt...My mom suspected something when she went to put on a pair of heels and there were none in her closet...She found them all under my bed..."Stupid kid" LOL....I continued to wear her clothes,gradually expanding to her panties,bras and dresses..I just loved the way wearing womens clothes made me feel..When I went to visit and stayover my grandparents Id sneak into my grandmothers rooms and go thru their stuff...My dads mother had this amazing bodyshaper I just loved...It had shoulder straps and came down to an opened crotch with garter straps....I would have it and thi high stockings on the entire time I was there...I just loved looking at myself in the mirror.....As I got older and started going over friends houses I started looking thru their moms stuff...There was nothing like finding sexy panties and lingerie...Id always try something on....And once I got caught...But my friends father didnt let on he knew till awhile later when I went to see if my friend was home...Thats how I got introduced to the wonderful art of oral sex...But thats another story......KISSES

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    Hello everyone, and welcome to my first blog.

    I am so happy to have found this site to share my thoughts, my story and whatever advice I can with all the other TG people out there. I wanted to start off by sharing my story so far with everyone and we can go from there.

    Once upon a time....j/k thought that would be kind of funny. Anyways,

    Ever since I was about eight or nine I have always enjoyed wearing my sisters clothes, it wasn't anything sexual, it somehow just felt normal. I also want to point out that I was also brought up with two sisters and two step-sisters, this will come up later on. My childhood was pretty much the same as any other boys childhood was, I played in Little league (although at the time I wasn't that good), I played street hockey, I did what any other boy my age was doing. Now that I've come to the realization that I'm trans, I have realized that I was quite different back then, even if I did grow up just like the other boys.

    I was never one of the "cool" kids, actually I was one of the ones they picked on, I was always teased about how I crossed my legs (even though guys DO cross their legs).

    As I hit puberty the usual things happened, getting erections, attracted to girls, changing of the voice, etc. I don't need to explain eveything (or do I?) j/k. I never really had any girlfriends, I had girl friends (if you know what I mean). I also had boy friends, they were the ones I grew up with I never really made any new guy friends at my new schools, but somehow always connected with the girls.

    My teen years were to be as expected, go to high school, get in trouble, (although I got into more trouble than most). I got older and eventually moved out on my own. This is where it seems I was finally able to spread my wings and fly.

    A friend and I had got an apartment together and we had people over had the parties and what not. One day we were all talking about sex and other things and one of the guys who was new to the group had said that he masturbated a lot, and he thought about being with a guy, and that he might be gay, or at least bi-sexual. Everyone had made fun of him, but not to the extent of hurting his feelings, I know because I asked him about it later.

    Although everyone was making jokes about his sexuality, it got me thinking about my own sexuality. After awhile he became "one of the guys" and then one day, I went over to his house to talk about the situation, and well I won't go into detail, but one thing lead to another. I have been with girls before and this just seemed to fit, I was actually happy and I was actually satisfied. That was the only time with that guy, not because of what had happened but for other reasons him and the rest of us just sort of drifted apart. Ever since then I was always curious about what if I am, or maybe because it was different, I wasn't sure. I eventually had gotten my own apartment and one night sitting alone I decided to try one of the phone chat lines, I started with the single girls side and after awhile I switched over to feed my curiosity. I quickly met up with someone that wanted to get together and BAM, I was hooked. I felt total gratification in what I was doing and it seemed normal (to me). Although I can't say I'm proud of it, but I turned into a slut, I wanted it from any guy whenever and so forth. Ok I'm getting carried away.

    I eventually met one guy who (was supposed to be) a one night stand, give me his phone number. At the time I thought, ah whatever I won't call him, threw the number on my dresser and forgot about it, until the next day. LOL, I know right. Although you laugh, after eight years (and counting) I am still with that same guy. Since then I've come out to my family and friends and seemed happy, until now.

    Although the past eight years I was happy, or at least I thought I was it seems like I was in grade school again, happy with my life, but something was still different, something was missing. I have done a lot of research and finally came to the conclusion that I am trans. Anytime I thought about it or was watching videos, I always came to this realization that I was happy, and it seemed like the missing piece of the puzzle.

    So here I am, at the bottom of the mountain looking up to the achievments (and hurdles) I must get through to reach my goal. I have an appointment already to go talk to my Dr., about seeing a therapist, because I don't know of one that may be experienced in gender dysphoria in my city, so hopefully he can help me out. This is my first step to becoming Melanie!

    Hugs,

    Melanie

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    Here is my blog.I am currently a pre op ts started hormones at age 14.My life as a boy was a living hell and had feeling I was a girl at an early age.I began raiding my mom's closet trying on her pantyhose and shoes.My mom found them out of place a few times and caught me when I was 14.Finally came out out and she did not accept it at all including my father.They kicked me out for good telling me I was not to come back.I thought I was a lost cause after that.I recieved a second chance thanks to my Aunt Bev,said I was welcomed in her house.After that saw I was not happy at all and I could not take it living as a boy anymore.It came down going through my closet throwing my male clothes out and replaced with girl's clothing.It was the transformation too,began growning my hair out and got my ears pierced including my nails done.I was much happier when I saw the new me and moved on.My Aunt Bev got me help too,diagnosed with gender dysphoria at age 14 and began hormone therapy 3 monthes after I was diagnosed.I approved for the SRS when I was 19 and turned it down.I wanted to keep what I was born with and and knew it would be a huge regret having the SRS.Love my life now,have a boyfriend Brandon of 2 years and he does know I am a pre op.Told him 2 weeks before we dated and he had feelings for me after I told him.He does love me and we live together,is a very open minded person.My journey has been going well and keeping this way.I have a special friendship with my Aunt Bev ever since,still loves me and would not give up on me.

  7. Latest Entry

    I thought that I would go ahead and add a new entry To My Blog , Possibly Just to get some of this out .

    Ok , Well for the Last Six Months I have been Attempting to Clean up the life that I had lead before I Transitioned , This is no small task , there are simply so many loose ends that one must over come after transition if you had done so during a Marriage .

    I often think it might have been so much easier just to have left and hid away within the vast country that we live in , then again , I have also had thoughts of Just moving to another country all together , would this fix the problems of the past life , No .... They will still follow , we all have to release the ties and some of them are tied to our hearts with deep Entangled knots that take some time to work apart I Strain to keep up with the realities that face me on a daily basis and the Mess that prior life held , so often they over come each and become a tangled mess that must be sorted though before we can move forward to the next bit that we find still needs attending to .

    I have tried to make the two compatable and in harmony with one another but you know what I have found , The Two shall never become compatable nor a coheasive organization of life expieriances , they simply cant coinside with one another just life I could no longer coinside with being that male that I was defined as at my birth , and the Woman that truelly resided within that body .

    Its a saddening thought that no matter what the truth is that our old lives can not come along with us on our new lives , it must be released all those ties that bound us to that life need to be Broken or Cut , they will continue to entwine within the new and make for a life of even more troubles then we would have within the old or within the new , I have no way of knowing why I cant make them work but at every step the fight is stronger then I am , this has caused me to become within this Darkened Place that we or maybe just I have lived for so many years .

    My nights consist of darkened Nightmares that cause me to have to take A Very Strong Anti- Anxiety Medication . I hate being tied to Medications , yet with out them I am affraid I would Go to the darkened place I am so affraid of , as some of you know Last year I had Two Major Nervious Breakdowns , that took some time to over come , Yet Here I am Back on the verge again , More so my Psychologist is yet again Worried about me , She isn't the only one , I worry and it leads to greater anxiety and depression , which is a visious cycle , So Difficult to come out of this one , Yet I still Fight , I still Struggle For My Life , I still Fight for My Sanity , it isn't better nor will it become just because Of Transition it has all just taken a new form , a form that hides the new and the old , a form that must be worked through so I can Step out into my life and not the life that the two have existed within , it is not easy But I find it an obtainable goal , I may be worn down and about to fall upon my knee's but I have been there before and I have been able to rise so once again I Fight for my life , I fight For Stephani .

    No one from My Past will forget nor move forward , so My only options are to Move forward without them , each and every Heartbreaking event that I cross and cut though will be a victory not a loss , I will win this battle and No matter what I will Win My Life .

    I cant say this action will work for others But I am understanding by every twist of the clocks hands that no one wishes to live within my life they wish for me to live within theirs , and this is my life not theirs so I have to move on even though it is Painful and heartbreaking my life has to move forward the staggnet bogg that was my life is slowly moving behind me I still find it trouble some to move forward but I still do make steps to a life that I create and not one that was writen for me .

    Hugs

    Stephani

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    Although I won't be starting testosterone therapy until Thursday, I have been passing in the community for some time now. My body language, clothes and speech is male. I even have a thick masculine mustache. No one knows how I grew it. I remember one day standing in front of the mirror looking at myself and saying, "I want a mustache" in a rather forceful but positive manner. Before I knew it the mustache grew out. I think that this was due to mind over matter. I am looking forward to the physical changes I will exerience as a result of testosterone therapy. I'm going to post a "Before" photo of myself, and then take pictures every week to record these changes.

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    Well everyone, it's another day in paradise (not). I'm still looking for a job and someway of being Vicki fulltime. I would like to meet some other t-girls for fun and to help me bring Vicki out. Hugs to all-Vicki

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    Hello, my name is Myralee, an out and proud trans woman living in Kentucky! I want to welcome everyone to my blog. Please enjoy yourself and feel free to respond to my posts and have a conversation. I am open to any topic ideas as well. So once again, welcome.

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    I want my HRT really bad and the Dr says I can't have it yet because my kidney function is elevated and my liver enzymes are high, but my other Drs cleared me for the treatment and so I want the hormone treatment, I've had the blood tests to show where my testosterone levels and my estrogen levels were, now it's up to the Dr. :angry:

  8. Today I received a call from a trans center; the person on the phone invited me to a group meeting at 4:00pm to 6:00pm. I called them about a month and a half ago, and didnot here a thing till today, 2/6/2012. So I got ready<as best I could> and I drove over to the adderess I was given.

    I arrived a little before 4:00pm, about 10min early; So I desided to sit in my truck and see if I saw any other transfolkes. The reason I did this is, because I learned to be cautious as a serpent, yet mild as a dove.I also, know this area very well, and know it is a known hood for gang members; I grew up there.

    So I sat there ......I didnot see one Transperson; I said to myself, "if I see one of them I go in the building." I waited till the clock read 15 min past 4:00pm; all I did see was a family come out of the place, and many gang members go in; not one of them looked to be trans/nada!!

    So I left then I decided to right this experience down....Be Careful!!

    When you look for a center on line.

    Thats where I found this one, I didnot like the area...Call me a chicken, but I'm a live one!!

    This was nothing like the LGBT Center I belong to!! So in short I just don't want to read in the news paper about another transgender person getting hurt, or worse. I don't like anyone taking advantage of one of us. In my eyes if one of us gets hurt we all get hurt!! I really mean this; it's how I feel.

    Peace Out!!...>^.^<..and be smart & safe!!

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    hi everybody wherever you are love joy happeness be with with you all thisa is my first blog so i know i will make mistakes so plse forgive me if i do at this time im in transition and hrt in the hope that one dayi will be what i want to be its not easy is it for any of us we face lots of problems which we all have to overcome in our quest to be ourselfs i welcome all comments good or bad so please feel free to do so i look forward to talk with you in the future You know sometimes you have to forget whats gone appreciate whats remains and look forward to whats coming nextl

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    rules of the trangendered is not the same as the rule's of the rest for instincts if a transfem dresses fem he still has to use the mens restroom because he has both a male lisence and male orgains but why cant there be a unisex restroom every where for our kind there's a handycap restroom every where. If we get pulled over we have to give a given name rather than a name given to our sexuallity, I also know there are those who would take an unlawful advantage if it were so but if a diagnoses were given it should be aloud regardles of the actual sex tell me you're thoughts on the subject.

    a. sex should be law.

    b. sex should adjust by sexuallity.

    c. who cares?

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    I was reading a blog on google+ today and it was about george michaels to how i was a big fan and had a very big crush on. any ways he's in the hospital with severe pneumonia were as a group of christians were praying for his passing on while he was in recovery. i thought to myself what has this world come to they wanted him to die because his belief was differnt than theirs no i sent him a message on the internet "please get better michael we need your music in this world " as a christian i think we need to pray for a persons health and well being not their demise that aint no way for a christian to act and i wanted to let each and all know this.