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  • Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

    By Lori

    Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices flowing; A daily journal about your life and experiences
    A journal documenting when you go full time
    A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery
    Dating experiences and tips
    Crossdressing tips
    Experience with makeup
    Passing in public
    Your experiences when you go out in public
    Restroom experiences
    Transitioning at work
    Dealing with counselors or medical personnel
    Introspection about your particular gender identity
    Dealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs
    Dealing with addictions
    Dealing with self-destructive behaviors
    Interactions with police or government workers
    Changing your drivers license, birth certificate, etc.
    Applying for jobs
    Your big day, when you go full time
    Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations)
    Experiences with electrolysis
    How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences
    Your recommendations to others about to follow your path
    Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender
    Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed
    What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity
    Poetry or prose
    These are a few ideas to get you started. Feel free to leave comments to suggest your own ideas, or just start a blog and share with everyone. Just log into your control panel to start your own blog. This could be interesting!
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Our community blogs

  1. Latest Entry

    Apologies, I have just realised you can link to your external blog.

    I have now done this I will therefore not be updating THIS blog anymore.

    Please refer to https://daniellaargento.wordpress.com/

    Thanks

  2. I did it! Two weeks ago my daughter and I went to the mall and we both got our ears pierced. I conquered another fear of being different and it was great. I now haver a shared experience with my wife and daughter that I will remember as a fun thing we did together. What I didn't know about pierced ears was how they have to stay in for about 6 weeks without taking them out. How many of you have taken this plunge? I got both ears pierced because I don't believe in any of the attached meanings about 1 or two or right or left ear. I got both done because I like things symetrical and it is what I really wanted. I inherited my mother's earings and she had a beautiful collection. Now all three of us can enjoy my mothers collection. I used to buy my mother earrings and always wished I could wear them, now I am one step closer to feeling prettier and more comfortable with who I am. The earrings are obvious and so I realize I may get some comments, however in two weeks so far not one person has said a thing (that I know of). Experiencing new things in life can really be exciting!

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    Hello, my name is Myralee, an out and proud trans woman living in Kentucky! I want to welcome everyone to my blog. Please enjoy yourself and feel free to respond to my posts and have a conversation. I am open to any topic ideas as well. So once again, welcome.

  3. One of the members here recently was feeling down (I hope that you feel better today:) and discouraged. One of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites.

    This is such an annoyance for transgender women and makes us all to aware how we can be objectified as fetish objects by a certain type of guy who don't really see us as real people, let alone women. Sometimes you just get so fed up with it, and at the wrong time, it can really get to you. They all seem to say and ask the same or similar things which can run the spectrum from ignorant, to insulting, to just so creepy that you feel like you need to take a shower after reading them. I'm thinking why not have some fun at these creep's expense. I'm going to list some of the typical things, usually the opening line from a message that I've gotten. Tell me if it sounds familiar and add some of the ones that you've gotten, ok? Of course, I can't include the more X rated comments that I've gotten.

    1. You a tranny?

    2. I'm curious and want to "try" a tranny, you want to be my first?

    3. Do you Skype?

    4. Text me. 555 555 5555.

    5. Send me pictures.

    6. Send me naked pictures.

    7. Do you still have "it?"

    8. Is 67 too old? (I'm 19)

    9. Give me your number. (like I'm going to give a complete stranger my phone#!)

    10. Give me your phone number and I'll send you a picture of my.....

    11. What are you wearing?

    12. Do you have boobs?

    13. How big is your....

    14. Hi, do you like me?

    15. I'm on he down low, do you want to be my secret thing? (yeah, I want to be somebody's "thing")

    There are so many more that are probably worse, and many too creepy to say here on tgguide. These are a few that I've heard over and over. On a dating site that I tried recently, some of the user names tell you right up front what these guys are all about. I also can't write most of those here, but for example, how many girls are looking to meet a guy that calls himself "freakdude69?"

    It can be so frustrating, I so understand why this gets to other girls. At first i was actually a little flattered that guys were (I thought) interested in me, but I got onto what they were about and really got so sick of it.

    So girls, are there any particularly weird, clumsy, funny or bizarre things that guys have said to you? At least things that you can say here, but nothing to "graphic."

    Again, I'm leaving out those that are too creepy, sexually graphic or disgusting....which are most of the comments that girls like us get.

    La la la:)))

    KML

  4. Hello! It has been almost exactly a year since I last posted. Partly because I've been busy and partly because I couldn't find the site because I forgot what it was called! I have a lot of updates, this is almost an origin story so get comfy ;)

    So, in May/ June i decided that I was done with moping around being a miserable git and feeling sorry for myself, it was time for change. I started to compile a letter to my family and friends the tell them about the new me. The first draft was about 3000 words and didn't read very well but with a little tweaking I got the count down and it was ready. I sent one to my mum, sister, best friend and I hand delivered the one to my girlfriend because she lived in my city. I know there would be a mixed bag of reactions but the one coming first would be from my girlfriend because she didn't have to suffer the Royal Mail. I was absolutely terrified! I had the letters teetering in the post box, only half in because once there in thats it! No take backsies.

    Ill be more than happy to share the letter with you all if you would like, just let me know in the comments. I know it would probably have been better to say it all face to face but it was logistically not possible and I can't speak what I want it comes out as jibberish when I'm nervous.

    So later that evening I received a text from my girlfriend to ask me to come over. I gave her an out in the letter and said that I would understand if she didn't want to be with me because of it, its only fair. As soon as she opened the door she burst into tears and I almost broke down myself. She wasn't crying because she was breaking up with me, she was crying at the idea of not being with me. It was all very emotional and we talked for hours about the future and what's going to happen next.

    The next day I got a call from my sister crying, but it was more of a happy cry. She was very supportive and continues to be so to this day. I also got a text from my mum telling me she got the letter. *Back story, both my mum and my sister skipped to the end of my letter because they thought it was a joke. Mum then called, crying, and in the outset she seemed supportive. I went to go see her and she back tracked a lot, she didn't get it which is understandable and she didn't necessarily agree with it. The trip made me very sad and I cried a lot in bed that night. She has since become the amazing mum she had been for many years before.

    That was all in the space of a week in June, there was a lot of emotion flying around.

    Fast forward a month and my city's annual LGBT festival was happening. Oh wait I missed a bit, my girlfriend decided to stay with me because she is amazing! Honestly I wouldn't be the person I am today without her help and support. I am merely pieces of a person but she is my glue, keeping me together. So yeah LGBT festival, I wanted to go out as a woman for the first time. I figured that if I don't look perfect then that would be okay because everyone's dressed up and heading to the gay bar! I picked out an outfit, which was approved by my gf ;) and we headed out with our friend. It was the happiest moment in my life that I can remember for a long long time. Being out, being dressed up, it was exhilarating! I once went to a fancy dress party as a girl when I was 16, no one cottoned on to what I was doing which was fantastic and sad at the same time. So that was pride!

    Not much happened in the months following, I started epilating (ow) and practicing with make up. Then when Halloween rolled around I took another chance to go out as Faith. Oh yes, my new name is Faith :) Halloween is a wonder out time where people can be anyone they want, so I did. We had a party and then hit the town. I was having a great old time and even bumped into a few people from uni who didn't recognise me which felt great! Of course my friend rumbled me by calling me by my old name but hey, who cares! I also went out New Years and unfortunately got entangled in a conversation with some random people which was tough because I don't have a woman's voice as of yet but they seemed nice and didn't point it out.

    I have taken some big steps to becoming Faith, I have changed my name, I have been put on the GIC waiting list (2 years) and I have planned me entire look as cheaply as possible. While I have taken these big steps, it doesn't feel like enough, I still feel the same. I felt great, I told everyone and everything was going to change and it was going to be great. Nothing changed, that is indeed the issue, every time I see a woman I get a pang of jealousy and then struck with sadness. I don't want to die, but it's getting harder to live like this, I haven't told anyone this because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and baby me. Its just hard, I know I'm not alone it's hard for all of us at times, just seems like all the time at the moment.

    So that is me fully updated! Thanks for reading if you made it this far ;) look forward to coming back to the blog and talking to some people! 

    Lots of Love
    Faith

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    As I entered into my middle age a little over a year ago I noticed that I had had more breast tissue than I ever had. I did a little research and found out that a lot of men go through some of these physical changes naturally. Since I always wanted breasts I embraced the changes that were naturally occuring and discovered a way to feel more feminine than ever before. There is information online about male lactation and male breast-feeding if you look for it. I tried various techniques of nipple stimulation for long periods of time both manual and using a breast pump. After regular intervals for about a week I was absolutely amazed at the results. Even though I did not produce milk as of yet I seemed to start a process in my body that caused changes in my nipples and breast similar to a woman who is pregnant. My wife confirmed with me a few weeks later that my nipples were taking on the characteristics necessary for lactation. Using a breast pump was not pleasant at first, but getting past the unpleasant stage brought comforting feelings that one has to experience to truly understand. After some time I could express some liquid from my nipples and it is fascinating. The reason I have started this blog is not to try to guarantee results but to mention something that has brougt me closer to being feminine naturally, without having to actually take a prescription. Pumping the breast made me sleepy and relaxed. Feelings of motherly love, especially when imagining a baby actually suckling from my breast. The feeling of let down even though the breasts are not yet fully ready for this. The very gradual but noticable increase in breast size from practically nothing to at least an A cupsize. Since I used these methods I feel more like a woman than ever and have accepted these physical changes rather than worry about them. Does anyone else have an experience like this to share?

    I have eaten a lot of carrots and cucumbers and chicken over the last 10 years since my wife has been more interested keeping us healthy I do not know if some of my diet has also contributed to an increase in my natural hormones or not. I have heard that some men and women can lactate from intense desire as well so I do not guarantee results this has just been my own personal observation. I am not concerned about a medical problem because the breasts are shaped uniformally and the nipples have increased in size and they have become darker pink in color.

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    Today was my big day at the hairdressor. For 30 years I have been going to salons, but I never really got the style I wanted. Whenever I went in I always had the same perm. If I ever had a chance to look at the picture books they would always hand me the guys haircuts. Though I didn't want to be teased in those years I really wanted the hairdressor to style my hair with a feminine touch. But I never was able to get the words out. A long time has past and I realized I can no longer go on holding back with the person who has the most potential to help me feel better about myself.

    When I called for the appointment I first mentioned that I was going to be sharing something confidential with her when I came in. I asked for an appointment when it wasn't so busy. I managed to tell her that I would be wanting a woman's style and that I was comfortable with that. She said she would have some choices ready for me when I came in.

    Appointment day came (today). I got there early so that I could be relaxed. There were two older ladies over 70 and they immediately smiled when I came in. I figured half the smile was for my new earings. One of them asked me, "so are you the hairdressor?", I calmly said No, just here for a haircut.

    Then the owner came around the corner and did the usual. She saw the girls cuts I was looking at and she said, "too long for you and handed me the guys book again". This time however I was prepared because knew I had talked about this earlier with my hairdressor. I was polite, but immediately placed the guys book down when she went back behind the counter and picked up another girls book. This time I saw a few pages were marked with light blue paper. I looked at the styles and said, "this looks pretty good I wonder if these marked pages were for me". A few moments later my hairdressor called me up and I brought the book with. I showed her the cuts I liked and she agreed with me and told me she had marked the pages. I mentioned that before we selected something she needed to see one more set of pictures. From an office file folder I presented her with the Close-up head shots that I had recently posted on this site in my photo gallery. This was the ultimate adventure for me because I had no idea how things were going to go. I said, are you familiar with transgender? She said yes, and she immediately pointed to my favorite picture of the group. She started talking about the picture in the third person. I stopped her and said, you know that's me right? and she nodded her head. I asked if she was ok with all of this and she said yes. The next 5 minutes or so she began to explain my options and talk to me like she would have to any other woman in the shop. We settled on a style that gives me a lot more options than ever before and then got to work on my hair.

    I enjoyed every minute of this experience I really started to feel more like Amie as the haircut and perm shaped my hair into something special. We talked about a lot of the usual, because other people were in the room, but sometimes I mentioned things that I knew just she would understand. It was like little code words here and there that let her know I was willing to share.

    Almost at the end of the perm with lots of big rollers in my hair the older customer was beginning to leave, she stopped and said "when can I see how he turns out". Both hairdressors said we know he's young and handsome but he's married with children. For a moment I thought she was spoiling all of the fun but then I laughed when she asked me how she thought my family was going to take the perm. I said, "no problem, I have been doing this for years". You see the big difference was the type of cut and the extra pampering that I got with this style. I begged the client to go without seeing me because I said I'm sure we have more than a few minutes left here. She smiled and wished me a good weekend and then my hairdressor got back to work on the masterpiece.

    When she was finished she took a little extra time to show me the different ways I could show off my new style. I felt so good inside. Another one of those big weights was lifted from me. I also had one of the nicest conversations with the hairdressor and strengtened my relationship with the salon owner. Both Hairdressors new I was more nervous today and really helped me feel at home. Before I left, they assured me that I should not be too worried about other people because I carry myself well. They said they like my personality and that looking different on the outside didn't matter to them. It was at that moment that I realized that they let me into their circle. I was accepted as one of them. A real woman. We entered into that sacred circle of trust and I felt a real sense of finally belonging. If I never made that phone call ahead of time and took a chance with showing Amie's picture I would have had the same old haircut and would have missed all that fun.

    My good experience had a lot to do with the salon I picked. This was a small salon. I was told that sometimes its harder to maintain a sense of privacy at the bigger salons. If you are someone trying to hold on to your current job before getting something different as the new you, it makes sense to do just a little careful questioning and research before jumping in.

    Earlier this morning at work an older woman friend of mine noticed my earings. She point to her ears and said to me "I like the new addition". She also made me feel so good inside. I said no one had commented about them yet and she said they looked nice. Today was a good day, considering the way the week started, I have confidence that I can do this now, I just need to start using my women's intuition.

    Finally, I realized that with all the people that may reject me, when you find someone who really cares it makes it all worth while. While the hair dressor and I were talking between perm applications, I came up with a statement she liked so much she wrote it down on a note for herself.

    It reads: "Sometimes when you overthink things, you can miss opportunities".

    This was one of those days. I took a chance and gained two new friends today. Just one day at a time.

    I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience I hope to share more stories as they unfold.

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    I started dressing when I was 5 or 6...I used to wear my moms panty hose and heels...I just love the feel of the silkyness of the hose against my skin..And loved the way walking in high heels felt...My mom suspected something when she went to put on a pair of heels and there were none in her closet...She found them all under my bed..."Stupid kid" LOL....I continued to wear her clothes,gradually expanding to her panties,bras and dresses..I just loved the way wearing womens clothes made me feel..When I went to visit and stayover my grandparents Id sneak into my grandmothers rooms and go thru their stuff...My dads mother had this amazing bodyshaper I just loved...It had shoulder straps and came down to an opened crotch with garter straps....I would have it and thi high stockings on the entire time I was there...I just loved looking at myself in the mirror.....As I got older and started going over friends houses I started looking thru their moms stuff...There was nothing like finding sexy panties and lingerie...Id always try something on....And once I got caught...But my friends father didnt let on he knew till awhile later when I went to see if my friend was home...Thats how I got introduced to the wonderful art of oral sex...But thats another story......KISSES

  5. I set pondering upon the time I have spent here , so many questions so many answers , what to hold onto what to let slip away , I know that I cant take all this information with me because it slips away like the sands held within my grasp , am I mistaken , do I reatain the guideance I have learned from so many here , I would like to think that some where within this cluttered mind within my skull it is all their waiting for the moment it is needed but I grasp to remember and nothing comes forth , am I simply growing to old to draw on it or has it been dumped for some thing newer and more relevant to the time I am currently passing through , The next shinny piece of information I know holds the answer to my question , oh how badly I feel when I cant recall every thing I have learned , I poke I prod but nothing dribbles out .... So sorry I have drawn a blank what was I talking about .. LOL , oh yeah My mind is to full time to organize this stuff any one know how to dewy decimal this stuff I failed Library in grade school , LOL . I know just another bit of rambling but hopefully it took your minds off of a days worth of information over load like it has for me .

    Love ya All .

    Steph

  6. Day one Post Op:

    Pain  and Mobility Expectation - To be too sore to live and need help with absolutely everything.

    Reality - I have taken my pain meds every 4 hours, and I am not in much pain, just a little sore. It's more of a discomfort.I am able to lift cups of water and pillows. I can't lift my arms higher than my chest muscles, but turn on lights using my head. I couldn't twist bottle caps off yesterday but I can tonight.

    Comfort (sitting, lying) Expectation - I wasn't sure, but was expecting it to be miserable and hard to get up and down.

    Reality - I first have to use my LEG muscles to sit on the edge of the couch and slowly scootch back. I have a "dead" neck pillow behind my low back, two firm pillows propping up my legs and a pillow under either elbow, plus a neck pillow. My caregiver needs to add these to my sitting situation. Bed is the same except I have a regular pillow under my back and a leg pillow sits slightly under my butt. If it's not there, I am not comfortable at all.

    Sleeping Expectation - I thought I'd be out cold for a week!

    Reality - The most sleep I have had in one batch was 2 hours and 16 minutes. Oddly, I am not that tired. As soon as I watch tv, I doze. I hear the show with my eyes closed, but not sleeping per se.

    Burping Expectation - None.

    Reality - OMG OUCH! Also,last night I thought I was going to vomit prior to every burp. I got the bucket ready, and just burped into it (Except once, which was just from eating an orange)

    Drain Tube Expectation - Not sure, but assumed there would be some.

    Reality - None.

    Bruising Expectation - Lots and dark.

    Reality - Minimal (but I guess it could get worse over the next few days)

    Recovery isn't as terrible as I thought it would be. I don't know what would happen if I wasn't taking my pain meds though. I saw my surgeon for follow up today, and the car ride sure sucked with all the bumps. My left nipple is still bleeding, she said thats normal. It also appears that I do have nipple sensation still, which was very important to me. She asked if I could feel my nipples, and I said no, so she came over and scratched me harder than I was doing and I felt  a tiny sensations. She said that would most likely come back stronger with time.

    The most odd thing about this experience is that a small portion of my bottom lip is numb, still 46 hours post op. It's from the ventilation tube.

    Honestly, the worst part about this entire experience was getting the IV put in. I have small  and curly veins, so they pricked me a few times. I was also expecting my hand to be bruised because if it, but nope, not at all.

    I guess if I had to give advice to anyone having (top) surgery in the future it would to be to work your core and leg muscles, because those are the ones you'll use to get up and down. Also, have a wide variety of sizes and firmness in pillows on hand.

     

    pre_post_op.JPG.b2f9167f6d953871aa130acdf5c1dfcc.JPG

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    Hello everyone, and welcome to my first blog.

    I am so happy to have found this site to share my thoughts, my story and whatever advice I can with all the other TG people out there. I wanted to start off by sharing my story so far with everyone and we can go from there.

    Once upon a time....j/k thought that would be kind of funny. Anyways,

    Ever since I was about eight or nine I have always enjoyed wearing my sisters clothes, it wasn't anything sexual, it somehow just felt normal. I also want to point out that I was also brought up with two sisters and two step-sisters, this will come up later on. My childhood was pretty much the same as any other boys childhood was, I played in Little league (although at the time I wasn't that good), I played street hockey, I did what any other boy my age was doing. Now that I've come to the realization that I'm trans, I have realized that I was quite different back then, even if I did grow up just like the other boys.

    I was never one of the "cool" kids, actually I was one of the ones they picked on, I was always teased about how I crossed my legs (even though guys DO cross their legs).

    As I hit puberty the usual things happened, getting erections, attracted to girls, changing of the voice, etc. I don't need to explain eveything (or do I?) j/k. I never really had any girlfriends, I had girl friends (if you know what I mean). I also had boy friends, they were the ones I grew up with I never really made any new guy friends at my new schools, but somehow always connected with the girls.

    My teen years were to be as expected, go to high school, get in trouble, (although I got into more trouble than most). I got older and eventually moved out on my own. This is where it seems I was finally able to spread my wings and fly.

    A friend and I had got an apartment together and we had people over had the parties and what not. One day we were all talking about sex and other things and one of the guys who was new to the group had said that he masturbated a lot, and he thought about being with a guy, and that he might be gay, or at least bi-sexual. Everyone had made fun of him, but not to the extent of hurting his feelings, I know because I asked him about it later.

    Although everyone was making jokes about his sexuality, it got me thinking about my own sexuality. After awhile he became "one of the guys" and then one day, I went over to his house to talk about the situation, and well I won't go into detail, but one thing lead to another. I have been with girls before and this just seemed to fit, I was actually happy and I was actually satisfied. That was the only time with that guy, not because of what had happened but for other reasons him and the rest of us just sort of drifted apart. Ever since then I was always curious about what if I am, or maybe because it was different, I wasn't sure. I eventually had gotten my own apartment and one night sitting alone I decided to try one of the phone chat lines, I started with the single girls side and after awhile I switched over to feed my curiosity. I quickly met up with someone that wanted to get together and BAM, I was hooked. I felt total gratification in what I was doing and it seemed normal (to me). Although I can't say I'm proud of it, but I turned into a slut, I wanted it from any guy whenever and so forth. Ok I'm getting carried away.

    I eventually met one guy who (was supposed to be) a one night stand, give me his phone number. At the time I thought, ah whatever I won't call him, threw the number on my dresser and forgot about it, until the next day. LOL, I know right. Although you laugh, after eight years (and counting) I am still with that same guy. Since then I've come out to my family and friends and seemed happy, until now.

    Although the past eight years I was happy, or at least I thought I was it seems like I was in grade school again, happy with my life, but something was still different, something was missing. I have done a lot of research and finally came to the conclusion that I am trans. Anytime I thought about it or was watching videos, I always came to this realization that I was happy, and it seemed like the missing piece of the puzzle.

    So here I am, at the bottom of the mountain looking up to the achievments (and hurdles) I must get through to reach my goal. I have an appointment already to go talk to my Dr., about seeing a therapist, because I don't know of one that may be experienced in gender dysphoria in my city, so hopefully he can help me out. This is my first step to becoming Melanie!

    Hugs,

    Melanie

  7. I really think I lost it this morning probably because I've been off my estrogen for a week(intending renew prescription soon). But coming into this room I saw only things contaminated with the past. Things that made me angry, or only reminded me of who I was trying to escape. Rather then taking the rational “im the walking away route.” I ignored the option ripped piece of masculine clothing off the hangers even broke a few in a fit of rage I screamed in random protest of growls and liberating grunts covering every inch of my room with fabric. An made plans to go out with friends this week end to burn it. But even though I made this intended progress what to do I do next. Do I really burn though I think this idea is best this is who I need to be to the point of being assured . I want to eventually have to have another day in some kind of work force . Because being paid out of some type of Tax break loop hole, or stealing to get medication is eventually gonna run out. Is it really possible I can justifiably lie on a application and say im just a woman with out the background checks,id's or body examination's to prove the otherwise so soon?Times like this I really miss college or times i really wish i had much more interest in suicide so i didn't have to consider all this.

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    Although I won't be starting testosterone therapy until Thursday, I have been passing in the community for some time now. My body language, clothes and speech is male. I even have a thick masculine mustache. No one knows how I grew it. I remember one day standing in front of the mirror looking at myself and saying, "I want a mustache" in a rather forceful but positive manner. Before I knew it the mustache grew out. I think that this was due to mind over matter. I am looking forward to the physical changes I will exerience as a result of testosterone therapy. I'm going to post a "Before" photo of myself, and then take pictures every week to record these changes.

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    My grandma's 15-year-old Collie isn't doing too well. His back legs aren't working at all. It's like he's paralyzed. We aren't sure what happened but we think my uncle-in-law had something to do with it. I visited my grandma's house yesterday and saw her dog's condition. He was shaking and panting while he was laying in front of a fan on the floor. It was obvious he was in a lot of pain. He has hip dysplasia and a twisted back.

    My grandma is in a retirement home that doesn't allow animals so my family is taking turns taking care of her dog.

    Things were going well until yesterday. My dad went over to pressure wash my grandma's patio around 2pm yesterday. He said when he got there, my uncle-in-law was there. They talked for a bit before my dad went to get the pressure washer out of his car. As my dad was walking back to the backyard, he saw my uncle-in-law holding Duke (the collie) like a sack of potatoes. My uncle's arms were around Duke's chest and Duke's back legs were dangling while his front legs were out in front of him. Duke is a very old dog and is fragile. You would think my uncle knew to handle Duke with care.

    My dad was furious, as was my other uncle (my dad's brother). They think the way my uncle-in-law was holding Duke, damaged his back even more and caused his paralysis. My uncle-in-law is a big man, tall and rough. He usually handles everything (other than humans) roughly. He has a dog of his own but it is a small dog. I understand that my uncle-in-law doesn't know how to handle big dogs, but it's common sense not to hold a dog like that, especially an old collie!

    My uncle-in-law and aunt (my dad's sister) live all prim and proper. They do what they want and don't really help out much unless it involves their nieces has nephews. My aunt and uncle-in-law have pissed my dad and his brother off a lot but this has gone too far. My uncle (my dad's brother) was close to tears after he saw how much pain Duke was in.

    Since yesterday was a holiday in the US, Duke's vet wasn't at work. We considered taking Duke to the animal hospital in town but he was in too much pain and we were afraid to move him. Today though, my dad is going to call Duke's vet's office once it opens. I haven't heard anything from my dad yet so I don't know if the vet is going to visit my grandma's house or if my dad will have to take Duke in. I will update my blog once I find out though.

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    We are so concerned about our “passibility” quotient that it can at times completely overwhelm us, to the exclusion of many other important aspects of our lives. We beat up on ourselves; become our own harshest critics because of who we see looking back at us in the mirror. Are my shoulders too wide? Thank goodness shoulder pads are back.

    I am guilty of these same self-critiques just as much as anyone else is, despite having gone through great lengths and expense to modify my face and parts of my body to correspond with that of a cisgender female. I am fortunate to say that I never get “clocked”, and I am currently living in stealth mode. Despite this, I sometimes look in the mirror and see nothing but imperfection. Telltale hints of my hidden masculinity. A little too much jaw muscle right there. I am so sorely tempted to do what I have done in the past: throw down exorbitant amounts of cash on the desks of surgeons to remedy what I perceive to be major imperfections. It reminds me of the old joke: “Q: What is the difference between someone who is transgender, and a transsexual?” “A: About $45,000. But where does this end? When do we reach the point where we are finished?

    This is a dangerous time for me, because I recognize that there is a glaring mismatch between how I often perceive myself, and how others perceive me. Have I come to the point where I am “good enough”? Are the standards that I am attempting to adhere to impossible, even for cisgender women?

    There are some subtle hints that my mind gives me that tell me that I am for the most part “just right”. For one, the subject of SRS: SRS for me is not a desired option. I enjoy having a penis for aesthetic reasons, although HRT has rendered it virtually useless. I think that it makes me more erotic, more exotic, more interesting sexually. When at an outdoor concert or event in which Port-A-Potties are present, it’s not a bad thing to be able to take advantage of this biology, given their general cleanliness (or lack thereof). I enjoy being penetrated, but I have never had the desire to feel that sensation in any other area of my body beyond those areas that currently exist. I really do want to undergo an orchi, but not vaginoplasty. In medical terms, it would eliminate my need to take anti-androgen medications. I would not be so susceptible to the discomfort associated constantly “tucking” and all of the attendant skin issues that this brings about. I would finally be able to wear those sexy skinny jeans I bought earlier this year.

    Maybe I am happier therefore to exist as a “third sex”. And being that this is so, can I be more forgiving of my superimposed maleness that may or may not be present in my body and face? Can we all be? Not at this point in time, I’m afraid. Honestly, I am a chickenshit. I’m not that much of a pioneer. I’m not that brave. Until we live in a society in which gender and gender identity are generally recognized and accepted as having great fluidity, we are at great personal risk. We cannot deny that people (men) want to injure and kill us because of who we are. Maybe there will come a time when we are accepted, not merely tolerated, for who we are, the way we are. A day when we can finally dismount this mirrored merry-go-round, where surgeon-saints hold brass rings just outside our reach. Until then, we cannot help but to overly critique ourselves, make ourselves nuts, and spend oodles of cash chasing the rainbow.

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    Beem having a hard time hiding the 5 o clock shadow need some make-up tips my make-up only lasts a few hours can't stand all the hair what are the costs for perm removel

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    So as I mentioned in the Introductions area, I wrote a letter for my teachers to have and/or hang in their classrooms. Here it is:"Hi there! If you're reading this, then you're my teacher. Good for you! I will warn you though, I can be a bit of a handful.Allow me to tell you a bit about myself.The school "knows" (has me listed as) -------------------, and my gender listed as Female.I will tell you now, this is wrong.I identify as Male and prefer the name Andrew ------------HOWEVER.My family has yet to call me Andrew, so if you'd be so kind, use the name -------- and Female pronouns around them.What the term for this is Transgender, or gender dysphoria.Also, I'd like you to know that I am open for any questions you may have, any concerns, and anything else you'd like to know. I'd also like you to know that I am not Google, so up your knowledge a bit before you dump questions on me.Lastly, if you would like to, you can hang this letter in your classroom for other students to read. If you do, please black out my names.These are some points of reference you may use to better understand your Transgender student.Transgender 101: A Simple Guide To A Complex Issue ---- $9.99 on the App Store, may or may not be available in the Public LibraryThe Transgender Child: A Handbook For Families & Professionals ---- $9.99 on the App Store, may or may not be available in the Public LibraryBe Yourself: Questions & Answers for LGBTQ Teens ---- Free on the App Storewww.tgguide.com ---- A forum where trans* people share their stories and offer advice to trans* and cis people alikewww.transstudent.org/teachertips ---- an advice page for teachers of transgendered studentswww.gendertalk.com ---- A page about the Gender Spectrum"

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    Well i heard about it but never believed it until now,I used to smoke and have done since age 9,Hrt made slow to no progress but i gave up only 4 weeks ago and have noticed the skin is sofening and breast buds have enlarged, has any one else gave up and noticed the same,nothing,something or is this just a coincidense :blink:

  8. I have always been a female in heart and mind since I was 7 years old and seeing professional help starting at 11 because my Father told me I was sick and needed help. He was a lifer in the USAF and brought up by a mean Grandmother. I started wearing girl cloths when I was 7 years old, I had a girlfriend and her mother help me discover who I was and helped me be who I was, my Mother stayed neutral, but was confused by my choice. During my life I always found other girls who supported who I was and lived a secret life shared with select few, moving around a lot was difficult. My father continued to get me the help he thought I needed, my professional help told me there is nothing wrong with me and to live as I wish. Most of my young life my Father beat me. Later in life I lived as a Girl with 3 of my Girlfriends for 5 years full time. I was 22 years old and had no problem passing a one of the girls. If I had the resources at that time in life would have made the change then, but things change and I had to change to survive in life. I am 61 now and have the time and the desire to start Hormones, next month I start. Support

  9. Latest Entry

    Hurray! I finally finished the album I've been working on for the past two years. It's still not going to be officially released until 7/19/11 because I have to pay for the UPC and digital distribution, but I wanted to let everyone here get an advance listen. After all, this is going to be my most public exposure so far as Maya, it was written as a way of coping with my frustration over living as a man, and I probably wouldn't have been around still to finish this if it wasn't for the support I've found, primarily here!

    Anyway, it's meant to be quite soothing, so if you're in a crappy mood, it might just make you feel better. You can listen at: http://michzimmerman.bandcamp.com/

    It's $10 to download the whole album (free for the bonus tracks), but if anyone here would like to download it and can't afford to, I can send a message with a code good for one free download. :)

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    What I knew

    By: Telzey

    I wonder how it’d be,

    If they were turned to me,

    And wore the world around as I have done

    To feel the pain I’ve felt,

    And know where sorrows dwelt,

    I'd do it all again this time tomorrow.

    Trepidation abounds when you step into a new situation, not much more newer than finding yourself all wrong and trying to reshape the world. I know all the words for this one: nervousness, fear, foreboding, terror, a thousand others and none at all. The journey is more frightening than the result and yet we find that it is the only road left to take, and there is no signage that tells the way. What could possibly make that easy, nothing, so trepidation it is, and shall be?

    To that sad story I add that I have found great solace in writing, it isn’t very good but it helps me through the rough times, times I believe we all share one way or the other.

    Finding support is another area, when we're new to the issue and must still find our own way even though it's sometimes not obvious where to look. For these individuals time is of the essences and support all the more important. I was one of these, and found support while standing on the brink. For this I am eternally thankful.

    We are all individuals that only wish the opportunity to be who we are and to live out our lives in peace. But for us, here, it will always be just a little harder, and we're tempered early on to make sure we can handle it, I hope to pass the test and prove my metal, meanwhile I will write my pain and continue with life, all is not lost, the road is but a step away and I have my pin and hiking shoes.

    I realize that this is rather serious and droul, but I hope it is ofset by a little chuckle from my ditty. we all need support, for ourselves and for those still learning the truth. Thank you all for your patience and support.

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    wanted to post some pictures so you all know who your talking to (or about) but it will not take them. any help will be great

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    This Blog is to give support to those who have carried heavy guilt and shame their whole lives because many religions and cultures suggest we are disordered and an insult (abomination) to God. What follows "coming out" to a fundamentalist is the idea that God might work a miracle; that some how ones brain will magically become different and see things the way "normal" people do. In these next paragraphs I write for those of you who are troubled because you have lead good lives and worked hard to be the best you can be and yet because of this "one" thing we feel incomplete, secret and maybe even a little ashamed. The thoughts of wanting to right something that is wrong often dominates at least some portion of every day and at some times every moment of our life.

    Many of you have begun to realize that there is nothing to fix on the inside. Rather, by re-working the outside package we better reflect what is on the inside. But when we try to do this we are often faced with rejection or just the fear of rejection from a culture that does not understand.

    To me there is a similarity between "transition" and that of buying an old house or moving to a different apartment. Sometimes we redo our home by just re-painting rooms, and redecorating, other times we literally tear down walls. Some homes have so much work to do that we realize we will be taking each project according to priority a little bit at a time. Other times when time is limited and may go for a major reconstruction and rebuild from the ground up. Whatever the case our reason for doing all of this work is to make the home fit us and our personality. We want to be comfortable in a place where we sleep, work, and entertain at day after day after day.

    If you have finally reached the point where you understand that there is nothing wrong with who you are on the inside then you are well on your way to inner healing.

    Since most of us care what people think, we are constantly kept from reaching our full potential because of what a few people might say. When you reach a point in your life when you think you have heard it all, suddenly you recognize that if everyone left you today, it would just be you and God if you have that spiritual connection. If all you have is yourself, who are you then, what makes you happy.

    I have believed in God my whole life. I pray every day to God in my own way. All of my prayers have been answered over the years, I think because of what I ask for: usually wisdom, strength, learning the real meaning of the word love, help in making decisions in life, self-esteem issues, peace of mind, longing for tears, etc., getting answers to some really big questions that I know only God has the real answers to.

    I recently specifically asked God to help me find out who I really am. I asked God to help me with this identity crisis. I immediately started writing a diary which help me get the thoughts out and then God helped me by leading me to people who have had a similar experience as myself; through this website.

    Two weeks ago I thought I was alone. Now I know there are more like me. We are troubled, we fear, we worry, we are anxious, we are excited, and we are sometimes severely depressed. Together we help one another see how our similarities and our differences come together to represent a new complex being. We are different and yet the same. We are special and unique with gifts and talents yet to be discovered if we are allowed to be free.

    Earlier in my life I wondered about whether or not I should "Transition" to the gender I identified with. The thoughts never really left me and I continued to remain silent to the people in my life. Now years later I realize I have always been in transition. As to how far this transition will go, is yet an unknown, but I do know that however it turns out in the end, I will have the loving touch of God to comfort me.

    What has really been helpful for me spirtually was to separate the purely sexual behavior (and often explicit material that can be associated with this issue) from the more innocent spiritual side of things. I found that much of the secret feelings and unhealthy deceptiveness began to diminish when I finally accepted myself as simply different. I realized it was necessary for me to let the person inside me be a part of the real world. It is the many little risks in life that prove to be good or bad only when you have actually put them to the test.

    Before "coming out" to any difficult person, one needs to know in their heart what is right, between you and God. When you have resolved the person you are to yourself and feel accepted by your own moral self, you are no longer looking for opinions. Once the inner conflict is resolved and you know God accepts you. At that point, when you share yourself with the real world, you begin to find out who your real friends are.

    The research I have done into Gender Identity Disorder has helped me realize some facts about myself.

    I am a very sensitive person who tests and identifies completely with the female gender. Because I have a male body, people expect me to identify as a male. It is their expectations that caused me to take my feelings to the closet and repress this feminine self for many years. I became disconnected with myself, unhappy and even suicidal at various times of my life. As terrible as the roller coaster ride was I seemed to be able to pick myself up over and over again. Constantly trying so hard to be somebody that I was not.

    But the mind cannot handle this forever. Sure, the outside world thinks the problem is solved, because they don't have to see the brokenness, they don't have to look at, what for them may be weird and out of place. Instead you live in anxiety the rest of your life and your own rejection of self begins a process of degeneration to your whole body from the inside out.

    My transitioning started years ago as a baby from day one, when I stroked my favorite super soft baby blanket to when I played house with my friends, my first tap dance recital, when I first put on girls clothes, to when I got my first perm at a salon at 11 years old, to when I first shaved my legs. Every other year or so I became more and more comfortable with the little hints of feminine that I could accept in myself as being Ok for me.

    Eventually all of these little changes I was making in myself added up and I realized that I was still alive. I still had friends, and most people never said a thing or didn't even notice. Currently I am almost completely dressing the way I want. Until two years ago, I had much guilt and shame about my secret and I would purge everything once in a while thinking I was cured forever. Finally, this year, I was able to realize that I would not be cured. God did not make a mistake with me. I am different but no less human then anyone else. There were plenty of other things in my life where I could find my sins, but this GID was not one of them.

    We are living in a society that can finally give us the chance of a little added protection from abuse and discrimination. How we approach what is going on with us to others will have long term effects for generations to come. I have come out to my oldest child of 14 years and he accepts me brokenness and all. He doesn't completely understand yet but he knows that if he has something he wants to share with me in the future I will be there for him.

    Everyone on this site who has written posts is helping me realize what a process this is. One day at a time.

    Thank you everyone for sharing. I hope you will find a similar comfort in your life from the wonderful communications on this website.

    Amie

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    rules of the trangendered is not the same as the rule's of the rest for instincts if a transfem dresses fem he still has to use the mens restroom because he has both a male lisence and male orgains but why cant there be a unisex restroom every where for our kind there's a handycap restroom every where. If we get pulled over we have to give a given name rather than a name given to our sexuallity, I also know there are those who would take an unlawful advantage if it were so but if a diagnoses were given it should be aloud regardles of the actual sex tell me you're thoughts on the subject.

    a. sex should be law.

    b. sex should adjust by sexuallity.

    c. who cares?