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Still Figuring Things Out

Entries in this blog

The Strangled Sleep

Can gender dysphoria cause sleep problems? I should be asleep right now, but I'm up way earlier than I'm supposed to be and it isn't the first time. I'm used to a certain amount of insomnia after working 3rd shift for over a decade. That changed two weeks ago, and after a brief period of instability I've been living on a normal sleep schedule for the past week or so. It's been great for me and for my family. Well, at least the waking part. At night, I feel like I spend a considerable amoun

JanusTrepide

JanusTrepide

In a Tight Spot

I am sure there are numerous factors leading to my current TG conundrum. One I want to focus on right now involves my love for hosiery. It may be one cause, it may THE cause. Who knows? I do know I absolutely love the way tights feel and look on me. No other garment turns me on in ways that tights do, and I don't mean sexually entirely. I admit they do provide a sexual thrill like a fetish. I've always been attracted to women who wear hosiery, and I LOVE when my wife wears them (even if

JanusTrepide

JanusTrepide

In the Land of Confusion, Despair Is King

In these blogs I find I keep describing my situation as being lost in a limbo of gray fog. It's the best analogy I can adopt to explain the ongoing confusion in my head. Inside this fog springs worries about whether I could even BE a woman. I'm rather new to the TG community. I've learned a lot in the past couple weeks, but there is still so much to know. One thing I'd like to know is just how difficult it is for TG men to become women. I know it is a very difficult road to take, but at

JanusTrepide

JanusTrepide

Where Do I Start?

This exploration into possibly being transgendered or a crossdresser feels like a new development right now, but I've actually been struggling for a really long time. The difference now, I believe, is I refuse to sweep things under the carpet anymore. I don't know yet what or who I am. I don't know if I really am TG or just dealing with Depression and deluding myself for some reason. There are three things I DO know as fact: 1.) I really love wearing tights. Skirts are nice too, but I don

JanusTrepide

JanusTrepide

The Choices We Face

This phase I'm in, unsure exactly of whether or not I'm transgender and what I'm going to do, has been a dreary limbo over the past couple weeks. What I've come to face is the choices that need to be made in order to move forward. I have to choose whether to heed this inclination towards being a woman, heal the conflict in my head and take the step to transition. My other option is to continue shouldering the burden for the sake of my wife and children. At my most optimistic, I thought I

JanusTrepide

JanusTrepide

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