As much as I am a women, I remain a man inside
I am living as girl on 24/7 basis, and I enjoy every minute of the wonderful experiences I receive from my bipolar transgenderism personality. As much as I live as a girl, I also live myself in his shoes and carry on the responsibility of being a man. The importance of being a 2 nation theory personality is key in having dual characteristics of attributes.
As I wonder about my long term goals, for surgery, I am unable to transition due to Family purposes. Now ask yourself if you are to go to surgery, you have on back of your mind, a lingering thoughts of your own financial burden, well the question answers itself automatically.
I love living as her by receiving positive gestures all day long but I need to do my job as himself in order to sustain a paycheck to paycheck at end of every month, which is important.
For instance the job where I work for, I couldn't have done it without being him! That's why I have dual genders for purpose of attaining employment. I have said it before but without negative impact, if I were to get a real job as transgenders person in a straight man's world's, I would have it by now, but I don't, as I wasn't so lucky in my endeavors! At least that are my experiences I have to share with.
Well in conclusion, I have to keep my job, as far as surgery is concerned, it will be after 10 or 15 years depending on financial support I get. Well it's season of greetings and hope and togetherness! I hope everyone has a great Merry Christmas and wish happy new year 2017 !
Visit Shazy Jeo on YouTube channel videos and check out http://outcast-all.com for all those living abroad individuals feeling homesick, or Misfit students anywhere, and don't forget to see (A to Z list section) there is something for everyone !
Hi ! It's been a while since back logging on to tgguide community forums! I had two reasons for not logging on regular basis!
Firstly I lost access to my tablet due to battery failure and I just bought it on new year's! Secondly I thought I was the only transgender person in a mega city as I reside in! But after my 4 years of hardcore transitions on or off, I have found a exact replica of my cross dressers to transgender community meeting every Monday in my area of residence!
To my delight I have witnessed over 200 transgender community people similar to (me ) or diverse range of groups attempting cross dressing to living as either females or males, yes (we, feel like I am a contributor) have female to male individuals eg, # of 3-5 at least etc!
It's a very interesting community as myself have been a member of tgguide as a last resort to deal with similar issues yet online only. Only when someone as Monica attempts to unify the best of us by holding (telephone) conference calls was a pleasure. But of course, meeting in person way off on another scale.
I knew somewhere in my back of mind there was a community but didn't find it. But now it has been my 4 th month of weekly meetings where government sponsored sexual consent focus groups to online dating seminars to take place, you name it they got it!
I hope to promote my YouTube channel for all members of transgender community not only cross dressers! Few that's a big scope. Visit Shazy Jeo on YouTube.
Well I better start getting down making videos ciao
How ever one satisfies as transgender people we strive to further improve your inner core! We all know about online dating since my article will focus on dating & sensual pleasures of tranz folk. Let's begin without further wasting, we know online dating doesn't work for most. For me a male to female transition to on & off straight orientation to bi sexual orientation. I find many pleasures of dressing up as her, with all kinky things attached being & living as girl without sex. Well sexual pleasure are good either way, but its the small things to turning into big things with being her that matter the most. The other day I went dressed casually to cinema as her with a couple of girly friend's and their friends. I had the most amazing time sitting between model personality if not babes. Everything was unplanned, I've learned the more you plan better you fail. So spontaneous is my answer. Maybe I am living as a girl too much. Today the most amazing thing happen to me at the ladies gym in changing room. I am not on harmones, or had any surgery thus far. I am 1 happy cross dresser as of today. Imagination goes bonkers wildly when I go for harmones in future or breast pills etc!! As a cross dresser I admire feet or having a feet fetish, I spend on average in a month $200 for pedi`s! I wear silicon breasts to show off bust. I am totally passable to average Joe. I can't think of what more I can do beside beautification facial surgeries(without GRS, SRS surgery god forbid)? I haven't done electrolysis yet prefer every 2nd day shaving my body & facial hair!!! Remember the Chewbacca syndrome that's me from mid east typical dude. I luv dating with men on 1 particular website, where I have been picked up 4 times in last year alone!!! Will not get into that. I am trying to date a girl who is super model. My family supports me all the way, which I wouldn't be anywhere without them. I am going at the rate of washroom of VIP clubs of turning down glances of babes feeling the urge. My all close girl friends want to date me 1 by 1. But I don't drive
my Volvo S40 for over speeding. I drive a moterbike with my heels yet strap on rubber long boots every now or than. My fetishes can start from a stick to all the way to beauty of feet, legs or breasts. I don't know which way to go yet being spontaneous guides my surges in right path. I look like average girl but there is wild boy waiting to leash or be pleased. Visit on YouTube Shazy Jeo or outcast-all.com
After 3+ years of cds-ing on & off, my peers have analyzed & fine tuned my personality to being a better responsible transgender person. Not that before I was performing in difficult times or any way's!
After some difficult experiences with other member's of public, I have talked about certain issues in order how to deal with impossible issues to future similar situations.
Some people go one way (in terms of gender living as in one state) while others stay on & off that is me.
Sometimes we have to be on defence versus offence in one gender or vice versa while being defence in another gender! A lot of the forums posts that are worth or termed serious, one can easily see the ladies ( m to f) get hurt repeatedly for lack of experience to financial to plain unknown factor's! While analyzing same problems I learned NOT to repeat those same mistakes by those ladies and stopped altogether performing cds-ing sometimes for 3-4 weeks in contrast doing every second day! If I wouldn't halted my emotion less state could have been in another mood let's put it that way! I have truly adapted my bi- polar personality & its NOT as simple as one can imagine. I cherish the time to pause bad experiences briefly & proceed with amazing experience next, simply! I was born a man, a simple man, wish to remain simple all the way yet perform the bi-polar inside me.Maybe when technology arrives to perfect anti agiing life for next 150 years that's when I will go for surgery.
Watch It's weekend-What R U doing, Coming out one's Shell & Reboot-Watch part 6B Mobile version
Visit outcast-all.com or Shazy Jeo on YouTube :)
Visit Outcast-all dot com for serious analysis for level 2 increments with NEW SECTIONS added monthly - the website is offline & will be live online on August 29 2014 !
With addition of components integrated for user experience - Galleries of 3D art called reflections to msg forums & classified section in development.
A daily journal about your life and experience
Please visit outcast-all (dot) com for detailed analysis of Cross dressers AFTER LIFE to PRE or POST CDS-ing level - moods our new sections depicting by 3Dreflections & chats & new section for Classified & etc the next level of gender change !
My discovery on trans forums
As I was transforming myself to cross dresser professional level to doing it in public for first couple of weeks initially at the beginning last year. I was compelled to learn a new fact of life most males in their original country of birth ( Please check my youtube channel and under factual playlist topics videos ) As someone opposed from foreign country such as me living in an international country or country of not his or her birth. UPDATE : To 2nd series of topic video has been uploaded for subscribers ONLY. The 2nd part of the above topic has been uploaded [on August 18 2013 ] & the link is embedded in part 1 video description page.. there will be part 3 as well as I am finding out more statistics daily about the above topic in reality. THIS TOPIC IS DEEPER INTO SUBJECT NOT FOR NEWBIES FYI
A journal documenting when you go full time
Please watch my dedicated channel on YouTube or this intro video on youtube youtu.be/K4EYIrblkNc
A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery
Well it's still male gender for now since I am thinking of re-assignment in 20 years time. Trying to build a cross dressing concept of without gender re-assignment surgery to act as both genders while retaining original gender watch video on youtube here youtu.be/Hu0bZSWhFEM
Dating experiences and tips
It wouldn't be fair to talk about personal issues on dating after cross dressing since the response after cross dressing is huge or mega in comparison to single gender dating.
I think the net has enough resources for to access instead of me giving tips or re-inventing the cross dressing tips and tricks cycle. Lets go to next of couple of cds-ing levels so one has discovered to put make on whats next ?Whats after cds-ing? is it gender re-assignment surgery? or not?
Experience with makeup : these message forums are not make up discussion but on serious note for higher level of glancing at Parallel Reality instead of AI (Artificial Intelligence ) Lol.
I am getting way good at it. Please watch my dedicated channel on YouTube link here youtu.be/s3ZMRCmbVVI or search for CrossDressing001 and hit enter.
Passing in public
It's a walk in a park, for those who pre-planned life years in advance (by my age now i could be a couch potatoe or like Arnold S as Escape plan, but instead i am crossdresser. Yesterday I changed my clothes and put on my wig in less than 7 minutes between 2 columns in a lobby while people were walking and no one noticed me, when I stepped out I was a girl. Watch link again on youtube here youtu.be/5LOXaKROPWo
Your experiences when you go out in public
Mind boggling and I will publish a book with detail analysis for someone to walk in my shoes and experience it or have the pleasures that I am having as mdma reaction or similar experiences of the effect. Watch on youtube link here youtu.be/cMf3ar4yvQg
N/A. Watch my channel.
Transitioning at work
I just got job interview at dance strip night club, while working on 2nd part time retail at shopping mall!
Dealing with counselors or medical personnel
I have my own psychiatrist & personal docter.
Introspection about your particular gender identity
Watch AcidMix released Oct 15 2013
I am 2 people in 1.Please watch my dedicated channel on YouTube search for CrossDressing001 and hit enter. Videos coming soon on this topic but feel free to watch a very realistic approach towards cross dressing in today real world motivational or reasons for cds-ing youtu.be/VowVSxolY6M
watch AcidMix youtu.be/9X2D5wvYL2Q or search for Cro youtu.be/9X2D5wvYL2QDealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs
To go all the way with re-assignment surgery later on or not?
Dealing with addictions
Shopping is my weakness so I have to limit myself in other ways of performing her. It can get over addictive. Videos coming soon.
Dealing with self-destructive behaviors
Getting too aggressive or over confident and doing something silly. Trying imitating normal personalities as her.
Changing your driver's license, birth certificate, etc.
Applying for jobs
Your big day, when you go full time
Almost every day once at least or 3 different malls at a given day.
Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations)
Experiences with electrolysis
Not done it yet still old fashion shaving and blades.
How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences
They all luv me from the ones who unable to do cross dressing those ones all hate me it is very simple logic in scientific form. Just watch my channel I don't even look at it that much people subscribe monthly.
Your recommendations to others about to follow your path
Accept cds-ing to ones comfort zone not anything nothing less.
Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender
Not applicable but my whole theme for video development is for living as a girl without any medical seurgical methods, only cross dress with limited treatments as facial removal to retain original gender.
Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed
Oh My God! Oh my gosh just amazing in super attention to low attention in original gender clothes. Revealing body parts to attributes to what not it will all be published in my book.
What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity
10% failure in activities participation.
Poetry or prose
A lily inside a rose to blossom naturally as original self.
I did cds-ing after 10 days, it felt so new & wonderful to be back in physical stage versus "dreaming state of mind" at nights or fantacy in "Artificial reality". The transition was as from one world to another in matter of seconds or as in teleportation in space to another planet. From fantasy to doing it reality or alternate state of mind or even parallel universe.
But to convert from male clothes to female was very difficult for first 15 minutes even though I have done it before under 2 minutes, but after initial change of clothes from pants to tights and sleeve less blouse went to 3 shopping malls where 2 as enfemme and 1 as male, the speed of walking to eye contact to slow movements was just as perfect as I did cds-ing 10 days ago.
Watch me on Youtube channel crossdressing001
Let me begin with first starting the topic as in entertainment to leisure activity to using time to
efficient to quality purposes as possible & whenever I had free time. Some things were learn’t by
trial & error while others occurred naturally. In order to accomplish what I have achieved & still
discovering new possibilities day by day, was very difficult at first in the beginning but not
impossible to now just another change of clothes routine or sip some different way coffee.
I am a straight religious believer in god which anyone going abroad to study should see the gravity
of the situation in living abroad. As I am experiencing certain situations regarding
some individuals living on university campuses I am discovering the pitfalls or major blocks.
Beginning to see the realities of international males life in everyday and all walks of life areas
to government buildings to any major important decision making authority.
Lastly it's a personal choice away from spending lots of money to finding a third hobby for different
mindset or privilege groups, using free time beside the routine and not any pressure from anyone or
•A daily journal about your life and experiences
Well I am waiting to publish a book for my experiences but an average day would be something
as since am living alone.
•A journal documenting when you go full time
You can see when one is totally comfortable into cross dressing versus when not upto the
full mood, so one can choose the right moments as to what will be achieve to when one might
hit or miss on which days per say.
•A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery
Sorry not into this topic since being Islamic beliefs but really nothing to do with religion
but I am very comfortable being myself as male & female. But using her when in need at times.
•Dating experiences and tips
Oh I have made so many new serious friends to good pals from both genders its amazing what
cross gender role can do for one in another platform or level altogether! Now sometimes
my buddies or sisters like hangouts in happoween to special occasion events.
There are so many fields but all I can say learning new ways by practicing same in and out
dressing up as enfemme or fine tuning to do the same thing better.
•Experience with makeup
Well first I was reluctant to put anything on as a child always said to myself what is this
gross stuff but when am in dire need to be someone else for a change for the next 2 years
I just think of taking e pills as I did back in university so an cheaper alternative is use to make up
specially but specifically nail polish just turns me on. I am writing a book about all this soon to be
•Passing in public
Oh this is such a amazing topic, first there is the 'awe and shock' to overcome, than after the changing of clothes gets comfortable I say to myself "don't worry be happy", "just do it" and the rest is history.
The passing in public for me comes in 2 dozes, one for passing in high end shopping retail fashion line name brands front of model sales girls and second the more difficult one is in public transport sitting in right in front of freaking 1 foot away. Keeping my composer to act with minimum
noise coming from everyone watching me and keeping a straight eye contact with no one to pass my
ride in the public transport to get to my destination without losing my enfemme mood is my challenge
everyday. But I don't want to get into boners, ooh its mind boggling yet very basic for now lets hope
its stays this way shall we?
Year 2012 overview
•Your experiences when you go out in public
Its all going to be published in a book.
Oh my god I didn't see so many beautiful feet but as compared to male WR my god every thing is hush hush but you have the occasional noise breakers to WR security checking on all in here.
•Transitioning at work
No I don't believe in mixing pleasure with work for a fact, I learn't at a very early stage
to not to mix or match otherwise more headache.
•Dealing with counselors or medical personnel
•Introspection about your particular gender identity
Well to be honest I am more male than female or will be like this as I did cross dressing at a very late age rather than back in university I am in my 30's, but better late than never.
in star wars the last prelude episode III, "one should learn all aspects of Jedi instead of dog matic narrow view jedi council" now that I think of it objectively the life possibilities would for sure
would have been different if done at age 18. I am not complaining now better late than never!
Its all going to be published in a book.
•Dealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs
Its about religion, in Islamic tradition now has changed for the totally open society since the addition of hijra's are accepted to run for the President in my birth country I am tri holder of passports.
So we have to look at inner self of what will be possible for our children in less than 20 years the
movies theme to general fashion clothes wear etc.
•Dealing with addictions
I have to be in self check not to go over board since I go for the maximum when I know if capable of, therefore just to keep in check I have log list of whatever I wanted for the day versus crossing off as in prodocts etc. One has to learn to control the behaviour of self by praying in the Friday prayers to cross level headed routine not to go overboard. Since I am working in 2 different careers I have learn't to control its easy but don't abuse power its very easy too.
•Dealing with self-destructive behaviors
In public transport when I am sitting or someone comes and sits in front of me with silly abnoxious noises to what not regardless of male or female, can't bear the obvious repeatitive behaviour from another person in public.
•Interactions with police or government workers oh lets not get this up close. But had a close interaction with security guard at mall but that was that, nothing happened.
•Changing your drivers license, birth certificate, etc.
No its against my personal belief to keep it safe.
•Applying for jobs
•Your big day, when you go full time
Weekends both or all three fri sat or sunday, yeah.
•Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations)
•Experiences with electrolysis
still have to try it one day but I stick to shaving regularly so to keep my both genders as real as possible.
•How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences
I mean it gets obvious living with 6 blokes where is he why is going out so much per week why is he so interested in out goings yet not staying in. There is only so much one can do out side being male whether a student or working professional.
•Your recommendations to others about to follow your path
Please watch my youtube channel on specific to very detailed to professional or casual cross dressing.
•Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender
Not at all, any one can do it except an very obese person or doing it public.
•Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed
Way to much difference to discuss in text. I remember while back in university
I was with blokes who used to go for rave parties yet some introduced Ecstacy pill or
hardcore ones took LSD but I was typical old school so I went with the minimum approach of
doing e pill, and made my mind up this is exactly who I can be in future when in hotspots
for cross dresser as a girl. But seriously I still want to James Bond! he he.
•What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity
I don't even want discuss about it since it is mind boggling how far I have come to
where I could have ended up per fact. Let me give an example, after quiting my job
it took me 6 to 9 months to get re-hired on self before cross dressing
instead of financial reasons since following back on family support.
But after age 30 when losing another high stake job I got rehired in 5 other related similiar field jobs but not staying at one employment for a fact for professional purposes. So after CDS-ing I have increased output to 5 times more than pre Cross dressing with out using any outside substance such as e pill or whatever! I have started wrighting articles like crazy not about cross dressing but of life
using resources such as driving my own car little be little to using public transport
being green per fact. This code of conduct honestly speaking is powerful & it only goes to show one the strength of within self.
•Poetry or prose
Its like a Rose inside a Lily on planet X. More to come in future. Check my channel on youtube