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About this blog

This blog is dedicated to telling those who read the entries about my journey in hopes that something can be learned. 

Entries in this blog

Coffee at work

I emailed a co-worker whom I told he could use my parking spot at work that I would be in for HR work. He said let's all go out for coffee, which I said sure thing. When I got to work about 10 or so co-workers came over to see how I was doing. I gave them a brief on how things were going and that I will be out for several more weeks (Robin at Marci's office emailed me today and said I can go back to work around March 2nd). So six of us took a walk over to the nearby Starbucks, got coff
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Journey part II

I wrote about my consultation for breast augmentation recently and now just wanted to say like with my GRS I will by blogging about this part of my journey. So far I have a pre-surgery appointment on May, 8th were they go over what will happen on the day of surgery, May 21st. My friend is being driven down from her home, thirty minutes from me to stay overnight, next day come with me to the hospital, we are taking a taxi. She will then come home with me after roughly a four hour surgery an
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Transgender through time

I just watched the video below which some might think is boring yet in my mind is well worth the time and energy to sit down and watch. They talk equally to M-F and F-M. There are many who think they have it rough today but I believe after watching this video you will think differently. One transgender, April, she is the epitome of making the right decision and is gorgeous to boot. I did learn that in a James Bond movie there was a transgender  and is was very hot. Of course not all transgender
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Low odds but cheap

The majority who are transgender that want to have surgery don't have funds to move forward. The best path is to be diligent and save money for surgery and not lost focus on the end goal. One day you might have nothing to contribute while other times a few dollars. No matter it adds up in time and the key is time. There are no magic path other than saving money but if you have two dollars to spare then by all means get a Power ball ticket for tomorrow's lottery, 450 million dollars. I might play
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

The aftermath

So in my last entries I focused on assisting a trans person through SRS/GRS/GCS (pick one). They ended up with Rectovaginal fistula. So after the initial surgery they stayed in the hospital for a week, back home for a week, back to the hospital for repairing the botched surgery, stayed there a week. On top of this they were discharged to a recovery company for at least a week. So there are plenty of these surgeries done each year, some overseas and here. A common factor for most is "I need this
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Is HRT right for me?

This is a game changer for life so the answer to pursue hormone replacement treatment should not be sought after until you have taken the time to place yourself into isolation many times and come out with "this is right for me" The following may not be suited for everyone and even so might possible change your opinion of me but I am coming from a very different place here So while teaching a group of people mixes included everyday people and military I posed the question; in front of you is a ch
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Permanent cosmetics

Many years ago, I made a fatal mistake of plucking my eyebrows and did a horrible job in that when still moving between male to female then back to male looked bad in male mode but looked good in female mode. November of last year I researched permanent cosmetics for my eyebrows. The research began with a fair amount of time looking at pictures of woman who had their eyebrows done followed by researching who to check out and discuss my needs. At the end of last October, I had a list of five p
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Well someone has to say it - rated R

Hopefully I can keep it clean. Been thinking about what is it going to be like pleasure-wise for my new parts so on the way to the grocery store I stopped off at a adult shop, ask for female lube and took the sales lady's suggestion. Went home and searched the web for something that might arouse me, found one. I know it was good because feelings radiated out from that area. Used the lube and a play toy to enhance things. Bottom line, it's been five minutes after the fact and I can still fe
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Adventures with Comcast

I had several free hosting of web sites on Comcast for many years that worked great but two weeks ago was told someone could not access the site. So I contacted their customer support via phone and got nowhere. Called again, no luck, visited the local office, no luck. Went to their forums and posted a question, how can I get to my files as some were not backed up locally. A member contacted me who seems to know a great deal about this and said you may be out of luck but said to try another membe
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Two females and 12 males training hard today

Several of the things I am certified to teach require recertification like tactical batons its every three years, firearms every year, hand-to-hand combat and edge weapons every year. The Hand-to-hand and edge weapons lapsed last year because of my transition. I informed the Grand Master about this about six months ago and was very supportive of my transition and said make sure you come to training (which was today). He lives in Florida and does certifications at various locations around the
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Karen 1.1

It's been ten months since gender reassignment surgery and during that time had breast augmentation to complete things, so I thought. Although not physical I now know my sports car has changed me a great deal mentally. What follows next can only be seen and heard so stay tuned for a audio/video for the next evolution of Karen 
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

A story to share on a trans-woman and others

"True Trans Laura Jane Grace" http://on.aol.com/show/true-trans-518250660.288/518451031 I found this woman’s story well worth sharing. Below are some pieces I thought say volumes without explanation for this audience.  Laura Jane Grace has a large fan base in regards to her music. Amazing, simply amazing stories told here. I was so touched by these stories, my emotions overwhelmed me. Misalignment, Struggles, Turns into shame. Parents would disown me, Try to lock me away, Turn to alcohol and
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Friends visit tonight

My best friend arrived tonight with a flower bouquet with a balloon "it's a girl". What happened at one point after she took several pictures of me and then broke down crying saying "I have never seen you this happy" to me and pretty much seconds later I had tears o joy. This will be a memorable moment in time for me which really there are no words to tell people how I felt at that very moment.
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Swingers club round 2

Continuing from my last entry, today I received an email (sent w/o giving out my personal address) from one of the men who was admiring me last weekend.  He gave his name but could not figure out between two of them which one it was. So I replied back and found out it was yet another man whom I did not expect to receive an email from. Then I looked at his user name "The Monster" and remembered the owner saying he might be a good fit for me. I was told he can go forever in bed and has a monster (
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Pooping (a serious topic)

It is critical that one can poop before being discharged. With past surgeries I had a great deal of troubles unlike this time. What made the difference? Consuming massive quantities of water and a decent Amount of prune juice. Past and present I had same amount of stool softener. With that guess were I am heading :-)
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Surgery images

I have noticed that there are not a lot of images for GRS so I slapped three together that I thought might provide a bit of perspective. The image has three, one immediately after surgery which looks rather raw, second (must have a strong stomach for this one), third is three weeks post surgery and can still see some stiches. I do photos once a week and will post another one in a couple of months. NOTE: Please do not share this image as I am only sharing here for those who are curious to w
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

I am truly honored

I was just reading Emmasweet’s latest blog post and realized how fortunate I am to have found this safe haven unlike no other on the web. Not to leave anyone out but Monica, Emma, UsernameOptional and Lori are wonderful people and if you have not looked at other sites this one is the best. Way too many focus on one or two high level topics of interest unlike this one. Well this entry was not meant to win any awards, just wanted to put this out there
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Revealed Karen to my daughter

I told my daughter I would call her next week but she thought it was going to be this week eek. So I came out in a well thought out manner, in short she was fine with it then proceeded to chatter away on normal stuff for over an hour. Yeah see we are close knit but I delayed telling her for several good reasons. Phone call ended quickly because my bowel was a moving :-) and wanted to say good bye to my poop. Oh, she is moving from the East Coast to Oregon in the fall and will be living
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Post surgery report thoughts

It is save to say that I am doing well now other than feeling crappy from not taking a shower since prior to surgery and plan on taking one this morning as I was given the okay to take a shower. From the post surgery visit yesterday they explained to me about the current status of my breast skin and what to expect in the next few weeks which is what I will report on next so others who will have breast augmentation will know about what to expect. In retrospect It is critical that you have a suppo
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Just had a thought

I was reading another blog post that lead to another off-site post and just had this epiphany that be it wrong or right to think this way but I don't consider myself transgender for a long time now but never actually came to terms in writing before. I go through my daily life as any other female would. Heck today I spent an unGodly amount of money on makeup today, 64 dollars. When I got to the counter I must of had  a face that begged to ask me "is your day going okay?: I said up to now, jeez, n
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Work asked me to...

I am still on sick leave but went into work yesterday to try out my new username for signing into the local network. Talked to my boss, told him that I most likely would not be back next week as Marci's office has not given me a letter to return to work yet. He was fine with that. He then said, could you please write something up for your business partners whom do not know about your transition. I told him that I already did this. He then asked if I would write something up for our IT divisio
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Last entry on identification

I started the process for my name and gender change the last week of last November which took five weeks. The gender part in short (I did write about this before) is allowed before surgery by a therapist on a special DMV list. In the month of January I did my social security card, all my credit cards, bank checks (did not arrive till after I returned from California) and PayPal account. Today the final card arrived, my insurance card. Wish I had this card before surgery simply because the
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

3

Worst part of my trip to California

Yesterday started out good but ended up as a very frustrating day overall. Got up, took a shower then ate breakfast followed by checking email. One of the messages was from Alaska airlines indicating there were congestion issues forecasted at the San Francisco airport (which is ten minutes from my hotel) and that my flight was moved to San Jose which is just over one hour away. Called the limo service right away and said no problem. Wait for two hours, limo driver comes to pick me up and advised
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

2

Assisting with gender reassignment surgery part 2

My suspicions prior to my acquaintance undergoing the knife were right on point which I will get into here. We headed off to the hospital at 4:30 AM, arrived at 5:30 AM, admitted and shortly afterwards she was taken back for pre-surgery. About one hour later she was off to the OP, they had given her a sedative already (I was not given one at this point). There is a leaderboard that updates through the stages e.g. prep, in room, closing, out of OR.  She told me ahead of time the surgery was sched
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

New blog

I just started a new blog on word press but can not paste the site address in from my new Windows 8 laptop so I will need to figure out how too
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

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