Milestones are fun lol So yesterday was a rare awesome day. First started off with me waking up to the LEGAL NATIONWIDE GAY MARRIAGE!!!! Omagerd I was so happy!!! Originally I was like "it doesnt include me, but I'm excited anyway!" until I realized it DOES include me. If/When I change my Gender to male, if I ever want to marry a man, that includes me!! After that I got a call about my broken down jeep, so I went to investigate. After a week of searching for solutions, they realized its two ch
It's been an extremely long time...but yeah, I'm still here. Nothing much has changed and I lost the ambition to blog because it was an endless parade of the same thing every day. It felt like a waste of time to keep repeating myself. Not sure why I'm here again, but I think maybe on the rare chance that anyone was wondering where I went or, by chance, was worried; I wanted to let everyone know that I'm alright. Whats New: Just over a year at my job in Security, and nothing has changed too drast
So, I went north (3 hr drive) and got my little sister for a week with me. So far it had been great!
I finally got her to eat (shed been basically starving herself) and she's been eating randomly the whole time, which is awesome. (She's 16). She's kept up her end of the deal and hasnt done any self harm, and neither have I. We've both behaved.
I've been spoiling her rotten, and I love it Bought her a new necklace which she hasnt taken off since we bought it, new earrings since none of her oth
Hey Ladies and Gents and Robotics of the future who are posing as the usual nerds who actually know the key to the universe but are keeping it secret to watch us make fools of ourselves.
You know, because they're absolute asses.
And face it, we can be rather amusing to watch trip over our own feet sometimes.
Come on people, admit it. You laugh when others run into glass doors.
We're hilarious.
ANYWAY, enough about the stupidity of the human race (which would be solved by removing warning
I've been seeing a lot of hate lately towards the gorgeous Caitlyn Jenner, and frankly...its saddening. I know it is difficult for people to understand the gravity and complexity of being Transgendered unless they have LIVED it. No one will understand it unless they have witnessed it in their own lives, or gone through the judgement of something in which you have no control. Many saying she is no hero. She is not courageous. Well what you may not realize, is she is a hero. Perhaps not a metal of
Hey guys...I know, right? Been a long time...I havent felt like blogging lately. I even skipped out on my youtube videos because I felt like...I dont know. Like they're not going anywhere. Not doing any good I guess? I'm at a loss I'm back into that feeling like....nothing I do, does any good. All my waiting for surgery and help is wasted. All my optimism and hoping is falsified. I'm really....really at a loss you guys. I broke my cut-free streak again. I couldnt help it...I've tried so long a
Hello everyone,
I apologize deeply for being gone so long. Life has been a bit chaotic as of late, and with all the winter storms hitting us hard up here in the north, this become even more chaotic.
You guys havent really missed too much, I'll be honest.
Only things that have happened lately is that I didnt go to my therapy session today.
I got a call from Joan at 7am this morning to call off our appointment due to road conditions and black ice, and she did want herself nor I to risk it.
Th
Okay, I will admit and submit to my foolhardy wish for winter. Yes, I did crave a nice snowfall. Some nice puffy snowbanks would have been nice, ON CHRISTMAS. But now that it's Janurary, the sudden drop of -3F weather and ice covered everything is getting really old. It's not that I dont like the cold (hell, I've been going to work in my work sweater and work boots as my only bundling up causes lol) But the fact that it rained directly afterwards and coated everything in inch thick ice is really
How's it goin' people? I figured I'd update all you guys on what's been going on lately. So I had my appointment with Dr. Feins in Manchester NH for a surgery consultation for my top surgery. I felt like my head was gonna explode with having to wait for it to get here, then that morning I was dreading it the whole 2 hour ride. I did NOT want to take my shirt off and have him take pictures of my chest. Believe me, it was torment to wait and drive closer and closer, yet I didnt dare go home and ch
Like the title of one of my favorite songs, "I'm Still Here"
I havent forgotten anyone, and I havent fallen off the face of the planet either!
This month has been rather hectic for me, in truth. December begs to be a difficult time for everyone, naturally, since everyone has SOMETHING going on for the holidays, no matter how much of a hermit you plead to be.
For me this year, I was blessed with the company of my little sister for the month. For me, it's a huge thing, and I were doing my absol
I'm still with you guys/gals/people
I havent left you, despite my almost complete disappearance. Things got so hectic and depressing that I had set aside all of my extra things (youtube, blogging, etc) and abandoned all of my activities in the trans community. I didnt want to be a part of any of it anymore and I didnt want to deal with any of the dysphoria that came with watching the progress of everyone else. It was too much.
I met friends through the many groups but they kind of drif
Since I am more able to express/explain myself on paper or online, I decided that since I'll be in town that I should get my butt in gear and suck up my pride.
So, I did research. I wrote emails. And...I wrote a letter to my therapist.
I'm gonna share it, since I figured it might give others ideas, and hopefully what I did was right.
"Dear _____,
I hope your Thanksgiving went well and you didnt get buried in all the snow. I talked to a few online friends about my last visit with you, and d
Hello people of the page, this is your friend Warren As many of you know and are in the same rocky boat as I am, it's that time of year again. Time to run around like your head's been severed and wrack your brain for those brilliant christmas gift ideas!
I apologize for not being on here to rant and rave very much of late, as not too much as been going on except for the chaos and hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping!
This year though, my Christmas is being spent a little different on a dif
So after some prompting from the boyfriend (Really wasnt in the mood due to the news in the previous blog) I decided to get off my butt and dress up for halloween. I had to work this halloween which is fine because I love to see all the costumes and knew it would cheer me up somehow. He let me use him as my first victim before getting myself ready. Here's the Results: Justin as a skeleton thingie (first time Ive ever face painted someone) And me, A zombie Police officer, intended in reference
So halloween went epic as ever
One of the challenges I faced as a (attempting) FTM is costumes...Sadly many costumes are gender based or seperated. Originally I were trying to go for the werewolf look, but it turned out to be a zombie from The Walking Dead. Either one was fine with me
I was one of the only ones who dressed up at work, and must say that I put the most work into mine.
One person was a Professor from Hogwarts and she looked really cool, another was a nurse, and the head manag
Gender Equality is such an issue here in the USA. frown emoticon I hadnt realized how bad it was until I stopped and thought about it, especially knowing that I've been a victim to it first hand. For example: I worked FULL TIME as a chef doing over 46hrs a week at 10.50$ an hr when I was legally registered as FEMALE. After changing my gender to MALE, I also changed my job. I now work as security, part time, doing about 30ish hrs a week at 11.80$ an hr squint emoticon like, wtf? On top of tha
I'm not going to lie, I'm extremely frustrated.
Maybe from not taking my meds last night, maybe from being tired, maybe even from just being restless.
I'm so frustrated at the moment that I could just scream and start a fist fight.
This whole month has been one big bowl of rotten, festering cherries in my face.
First I had that fight with my sister, who has now decided that I'm a bad influence around my nieces, therefore she doesnt want me around them so long as I'm going to be warren, not k
So, I'm kind of at a loss and need some advice or something, though I'm sure others here have way bigger issues than I do right now.I have a friend whom I have been friends with for just over a year. In the beginning, we were great friends and she helped me out a lot with my transition and acceptance and etc. But ever since my downward spiral, it's gotten.....weird.Originally, we'd planned that I would fly out to her state and hang out for a week (mind you, I'm on the east coast and shes all the
So this is my first time with this...First time even blogging, actually. At the current moment I am several hours overdue to go to bed before a trip back north to see my mother, and perhaps this is why I have finally convinced myself to perhaps seek some guidance and support from others 'like me'. I say that as if I'm damaged cans at a grocery store..that's rather shameful I suppose.
So, a little about myself I guess? I'm 22 years old, I love horseback riding and enjoy writing in my own books,
So today was my first day of therapy EVER, and it goes without saying that I were a nervous wreck. I got up much earlier than I even needed to, and wandered around the house like a bored lunatic.
When I finally decided to leave and went as slowly as I were comfortable, just killing time and cruising along, I still showed up at the office a little more than half hour early.
Signed in, no problem.
So I was sitting there for a while and the secretary comes over and sits next to me.
"I overlooke
After several days of torment, several attempts not to harm myself, and several agonizing hours of enduring the silent remarks of those around me.....I finally had a tollerable night.
Nothing too chaotic happened, really.
My binders actually behaved today. I got up on time, did my exercise, and got to work on time.
One of my co-workers actually has caught herself and is trying hard to make it a habit not to call me by any nickname feminine. She's really trying, though she messes up now and th
So, my mother doesnt call me, and that is completely fine with me! I do not have contact with my older sister either. And when my younger sibling (Changed their name to Kai apparently which is fine with me. Theyre pretty sure theyre FTM as well but I'm respectful at the fact that they've decided not to make perminate choices on the matter until they are POSITIVE theyre transgender. I GREATLY respect them for that!!) has asked me if they can come down to hang out again at some point. I told them
Anyone going through the journey of one gender to another KNOWS that every day changes.
For me, I have three stages I could hit. One day, I tollerate it. TOLLERATE it. It's on my mind all day, but I do my best to just do what I'm doing and ignore what's going on.
Then I have my heartbreak days. Days when every instant that I remember what I'm going through and how I'm physically stuck, makes me want to curl up in a bathroom stall and cry till I cant breathe anymore. It physically HURTS to know
Everyone should have a 'transition song'.
I listen to mine every single day. Every time my transition gets to be too hard or too frustrating.
"Silhouettes" by Avicii is mine. Not only because of the video that comes along with it, but for the lyrics.
"We've come a long way since that day, and we'll never look back at the faded silhouettes."
It means you have to keep looking forward. You're not the person you were back then. You're not the same person you were on the day you decided enough wa
