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About this blog

MTF currently transitioning to living full-time. Started HRT on 4/18/2015.

Entries in this blog

11/29/2014

11/29/2014 I'm starting to wonder if I am not Trans Female rather bi-gendered. There are some mornings and I feel perfectly content getting up and being male. Other mornings, not so much. In general, I feel like I should have been born a girl, however, it is such a pain in the butt getting ready and presenting female. So, I don't know if my distain for getting ready is behind this or if I genuinely like being male some days, which would make me bi-gendered (though when I was 4 years old that

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11/27 - 11/28/2014

11/27/2014 I was up late the night before talking to my sister more about what I've been going through these past two and a half months. She just listened, didn't ask many questions. Looking back I wonder if I kind of lost her in the conversation. But I let her know what I'm feeling inside, some of the things that I talked to the therapist about. And let her know that if I don't get on top of this, I will probably need to transition. I think she understands but did not know what to think. I'm

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11/24 - 11/26/2014

11/24/2014 So, we left to go to my mom's in Perrysburg OH. I was thinking about bringing some of my girl clothes with me but did not. As we left, I felt a tremendous amount of anxiety. Never felt this way before and don't know why. It's almost like I felt like I did not have that outlet if I needed it. However it felt much more than that. Anyways, the trip went well. Though most of the time I thought about what I was going to tell my mom regarding my current situation. She knows about me d

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11/22 - 11/23/2014

11/22/2014 Today I was 100% feeling female and thinking about it. It was distracting but since I didn't need to work or doing anything it was okay. I talked to my wife about my appointment with the therapist and going to the support group and mentioned that she recommended that I go out dressed as much as I need to meet others like me and get the support that I need. I told her that if I cannot get on top of this soon, I will need to transition. This was upsetting, and I knew that it would

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11/21 - 11/22/2014

11/20/2014 I had a better day than the rest of the week. I definitely felt more connected to being male. So, what I noticed when I was younger, was that stress would trigger feelings of wanting to dress or be female. But lately, it is the opposite. When I feel stress, I want to retreat to my male role. In my mind, being female increases the stress level. And I think that it is because I am seriously considering a transition. Anyways, I did have some big stressors that triggered this rea

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11/17/2014 Monday - Another crisis day for me.

11/17/2014 So out of the last two months, Monday had to be the worst gender - identity day for me. It was a crisis. Very distracting at work. I was sick to my stomach all day. Did not sleep well. All and all, not a good day to be a guy for me. I did ride the metro in. I am a big people watcher, so looking at all of the girls dressed to go to work made me think that I should be them. So, for me (just to let you know) this is no fantasy. I am extremely realistic about what I will encounter t

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

11-19-2014 - Another day. Not so bad.

Today went much better. I had my moments but I was able to finally focus on work somewhat. I feel like I am putting on such an act all around it's crazy. But at least I wasn't going crazy or out of my mind. Anyways, I was contacted again by the therapist who closed her practice. She referred me to two people. I called one to set up an appointment after doing some research. I'll do more tonight. Last night I talked with my wife more. I told her more about myself. And dressing when I was muc

LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

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