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My Journey

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Trans Workers UK is a Facebook closed group that advances Trans rights in the UK workplace, I'm a member of the group and regularly advice is sought and given by trans workers on most aspects of being trans at work. However by far the most numerous postings are for trans who are still "in the closet" as far as work is concerned, who are wanting advice from those of us who are fully out in the workplace and in life. Most of these folk have come up against the societally conditioned old barrier, that they'll be ridiculed, or lose their jobs and workmates, this is by far the biggest hurdle that we have to overcome, it's our pre-judice, based on experience in society at large. Most don't realise that it's 2016 & not 1975 anymore, and that attitudes have moved on.

Anyway I posted my recent experience to help them overcome their fears;

"Last week my employer (a County Council) sent me on a Fire Risk Assessors course, with a view to my carrying out Fire Risk Assessments for the Council's properties. This sort of fits in with my existing role as a H&S Advisor. Anyway I was kinda nervous about attending the course which was held at the Firefighting College in Moreton in the Marsh. I had imagined it as being a very male orientated place, and half expected to be stared at or have the occassional joke or wise crack made at my expense. I couldn't have been more wrong, I was pleasantly surprised to find that doors were held open for me by smiling young firefighters, who were also very polite. I thought wow, if anyone had told me 3 years ago that I'd be wearing knee high boots, treggings, leopard print top, make-up and attending as a woman at the firefighters college, I'd have said "yeah, in your dreams". But there I was doing it. So to all who are contemplating gender change at work, but think it's impossible, think again, I've done it, it's so much easier than you might think. No, as a male I was not a small built effeminate man, I was a 100 kg 5'10" bloke with wide shoulders and narrow waist, and yeah, I thought it impossible to do what I've done, and yet here I am as Eve, my true self. I hope that this helps to inspire others to to do what they really want and not hang about wasteing time, I regret not doing what I did much earlier in my life. Good Luck to you all xx".

Cheers,

Eve

I watched I am Cait series 2 epsiode 1 last night, it's the first one that I've watched, it was shown on a TV channel called E, which I think is new to the UK. Anyway I had wanted to watch Caitlyn Jenner shows for quite a while but they were not shown in the UK until recently.

The episode that I watched was some sort of road trip and seemed to centre around the grand canyon, she had a group of around 10 transgendered friends with her, but I just could not believe her attitude to hearing any political views other than her own. The debate seemed to spring up after one of the group read out news about transgendered people being stopped from using the correct toilets by republican politicians and religious people. Caitlyn seemed to think it was the correct thing to do !!!! She also slagged off democrat politicians too. Please keep her in the US, I really don't want her over here, even if she has placed trans issues in the public eye, not supporting going to the correct toilet is bad for all of us, and sends out a totally wrong message. 

US political party's seem to bear great similarities to ours, although admittedly not identical. In a similar fashion over here it's easy for those rich people (born with a silver spoon in their mouths or just good at ripping people off? - few have gotten rich by being hard working and fair at the same time) to vote for issues that benefit themselves, they've never been anything other than rich or lived on easy street's gravy train. It was our Labour party over here who gave UK LGBT people most all of our present rights, the conservative party have done very little for us other than same sex marriage in some churches where the vicar (or whatever equivalent devil dodger in some other branches of the church) isn't anti-everything other straight heterosexual  partnerships.

Anyway, I won't be watching Caitlyn Jenner again...............

Cheers,

Eve

 

I have posted entries before regarding things that I did't see coming, added comments to others entries about hormones and consequently thinking differently. I have read (somewhere on the web) about the indigenous peoples of North America accepting trans people as twice blessed, and other cultures around the world having similar attitudes. It strikes me as strange that some of the religions around today, seem to have leading lights that refuse to accept trans people, and also villify us. Perhaps I should have titled this entry "beware people bearing crosses", ..............anyway I've digressed.

It seems to me that the North American indigenous population were quite right, I am now starting to realise that I have gained extra knowledge, that if I hadn't transitioned, I otherwise wouldn't possess, ok, of course you would, so what did I expect, I hear you thinking. Well I never really gave much thought, in as much as it never occurred to me, how females would be mentally and subtly so different from males, sometimes massively so, other times only nuances of difference. Of course not all cis females think the same, nor do cis males, nor for that matter do all trans people think the same, but they have all had their eyes opened if they have been exposed to the hormones missing from their birth gender, for long enough.  However, unlike the cis population I now understand more than one gender alone, - if I ever was one gender in the first place? Anyway I don't want to digress again. It seems to me that trans people are in a much better position to understand the actions of either gender (sorry to be so binary however it's only the begining of my realisation - hopefully more will follow), and consequently would make excellent counsellors, and anybody who in fact has to make judgements, or offer advice. No wonder there is so much advice on the web for trans people. 

Perhaps I'm really talking about "insight", you know feminine or male insight, well perhaps now we might be starting to have the term trans insight?

Cheers,

Eve

 

I like many others, some not even in the UK, face changes of responsibility, although in my case not of demotion. Public sector employment in the UK is being decimated by the Conservative (tory) government, they are giving public service jobs to their private contractor mates, so far my job hasn't been privatised, but the implication of privatisation is that I have less to look after, due to whole sections leaving local government employment, thus making the Council that I work for smaller.  I'm  just hanging on for my pension, which when it's large enough I'll retire. My partner also has very similar problems being a consultant paediatrician in the NHS, which isn't really National anymore, it's been so fragmented that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand's doing.  The media is mostly anti EU and wants the UK to leave, the media is mostly pro tory, not much that is derogatory to right wing views and ideals gets published in the majority of the press or aired on the BBC. I have said before that the public are mostly sheep the press are the wolves who feed on the sheep and the tory politicians are the perverted shepherds who should be looking after the sheep. It's a really cosy relationship, a very subtle sort of corruption really. But there's a new dimension now with corporatism creeping - uh?, no, leaping in with Corporations pulling the strings of the idiot politician puppets, and it seems aided by the media.

It's funny but I don't feel very free anymore, we used to pity the communist countries in Eastern Europe a few decades ago, thinking that they didn't have any freedom. To think that we have much freedom of speech, is quite laughable with a media so biased toward the new regime, who will take much notice of whatever I say whether or not it's on social media or printed in the fringe press?

Don't think that I'm anti free-enterprise though, I'm all for it, but I'm very much against giving public services on a plate to private contractors.

I want to leave the UK and live in Europe somewhere, and not be bothered with the antics of right wing idiots.

Depressed,

Eve

 

 

I received a letter from my Mortgage company that happens to be one of the UK high street banks, I was particularly annoyed to find that it was addressed to my old male identity, I thought that I had put all that behind me a year ago, when I took my Deed Poll cerificate into a local branch where they photocopied it. So I complained via telephone and couldn't get past someone reading from a flowchart, whilst they were sorry about what happened, they said that they hadn't received the copy of the Deed Poll, could I go back again to the branch and go through the same again. I was angry about this, because they had the clear expectation that I'd correct their mistake, so I offered to send scanned copy via e-mail to them, they refused and said that they could only accept a fax other than going to the branch again. I seemed to be entering the name change merry go round all over again......................what a DRAG!

So i visited their web-site and looked at how to contact their customer services, and found a "make a complaint" page, so I did giving full details of what had happened chronologically. Earlier today they phoned me and apologised asked me to e-mail the copy to them directly, they have amended the errant name details, and offered me £200 compensation and £5 for the time wasted phoning the flowchart people. Well I thought, it'd be rude of me to not graciously accept the offer, after all that they had done, but honestly all I wanted was the name on my account to reflect who I now am.

So it shows that it's worthwhile escalating a complaint if at first you don't succeed...................I've spent the money already on a new longline jacket for work, brown leather knee boots, and purple heeled sandals.........I'd been hankering after these for a month or so, but was being careful moneywise, and I've learned that if you don't buy when you can, it soon goes out of stock and rarely if ever is available again..........

Cheers,

Eve

On Sunday with the assistance of my partner and friends, all of whom are ex SCUBA divers, we put on a snorkelling 'taster session' at one of the swimming pools in Birmingham. This happened at a private session hired from the City Council leisure dept, by Birmingham LGBT under the name of Moseley Shoals. Moseley is a suburb of Birmingham for those of you who don't know, and Moseley Shoals have been in place for quite a while. It only costs £4 a session to swim, after the first session which is free, and it's open to anyone who identifies as LGBT.

I had offered to do snorkelling for them, with a possibility of continuing on to SCUBA later, the offer was very gratefully accepted. The group are very friendly and obviously open minded, and many of them tried ot snorkelling for the first time, along with some of my trans friends. The session was greeted with enthusiasm, and it turned out to be very successful. I've been asked to repeat the session next Sunday, and then to do fortnightly lessons.

Birmingham LGBT have an aim of involving more LGBT people in sport, as well as raising general awareness of the needs of LGBT people in the Birmingham area.

Cheers,

Eve

A poem

By eveannessant,

In my previous entry, I told of my Dutch/ NZ friends, I found a lovely poem written by them in the wrapping of one of their presents, it's just occurred to me to share it.

Transition

 

Testosterone Steve

Has taken his leave

(Except when driving)

Or possibly diving

 

Shakespeare said; To thine own self be true

Wise words that rang a bell for you

We know it took courage, faith and “front”

(A bit like Kenny Everett’s Cupid Stunt)

 

What we see is a big hearted lady

Who dares to be so, before she gets fadey

Look at your Mum, an example for all

Bursting with life, still having a ball

 

You talk about Sam with such great affection

And clearly love Maybelle to utter distraction

60’s a bitch, I remember it well……

We salute you, lovely Eve, be sure to live well

 

Maggy & Peter Van Krimpen,  27th December 2015

 

You might be wondering about Kenny Everett and Cupid Stunt. Kenny Everett was a gifted radio DJ turned TV comedian in the UK during the 1980's, he had a drag character called Cupid Stunt who did everything in the "best possible taste"....................

Cheers,

Eve

Hope you all had a great Christmas, mine was quiet, but the following day we went out to get party food from the supermarkets, and on the 27th my partner and I held a party, it was manic preparation all day, and then my mother arrived late afternoon followed by friends who sorted out her Windows PC for her. My lovely partner cooked loads of party food all afternoon and made a fabulous Black Forest Gateau, she put quantities of Kirsch Wasser and de Kuyper Cherry Brandy in with the cherry filling layers, it's my top favourite cake and it was to celebrate my birthday, but it wasn't large enough to place the many candles necessary for my age!

Anyway enough about culinary ingredients, friends soon started to arrive both local and further afield as far as The Hague, I have mentioned our Dutch friends in an earlier posting, he is way over 6' tall and she is a New Zealander, she had took me for a bra fitting in The Hague last April, this time she mercilessly teased me to the great amusement of all, especially me! Well much alcohol was consumed by all, including 2 bottles of pink Champagne, we had a great time. The following two days we took our Dutch/NZ friends out to see the local attractions and Birmingham City centre.

Today I have had a little more time to myself before I went out for my mammogram appointment, which is part of the national healths breast screening service. It didn't feel at all strange to me, the staff were entirely respectful and treated me exactly the same as if I was a CIS woman. 

So since Christmas I haven't really had much time to do much, so I'm really looking forward to a few quiet days to myself from tomorrow before I return to work.

My partner has really noticed how well I pass these days, no one stares at me anymore, but then again I couldn't care less if they did, but it makes her life a lot easier when we're out and about, and she's really happy now, almost as happy as I am.................Sometimes I have to pinch myself, to check that I'm awake and not dreaming all this.............

Hoping you all have a great New Year as yourselves,

Cheers,

Eve

I have to admit I'm struggling with writing these entries at times.........my clutch seems to have an intermittent fault...............I just can't get my ass into gear sometimes.

So, in my previous entry, I said I was looking forward to swimming in a Trans only swimming session, well it's also for gender non conforming people too, which I forgot to mention in my last entry. It went really well I enjoyed myself and swam 12 lengths of the pool straight off non-stop, this surprised me as I have had very little exercise over the last couple of years, other than occassional walks and cycle rides. So it seemed I was fitter than I had imagined, I could also swim quite quickly when I wanted to, this was the first time in the water in about 4 years, when I last SCUBA dived.

We could have done with a few more swimmers to cover the cost of the pool hire, but 3 of us paid extra to cover the outlay. I plan to introduce snorkelling as a taster at the next session, to see if we can attract more swimmers, I might even take along an underwater propulsion unit for fun. I have to put together an advert for the session so I have my work cut out, and I have to get my clutch fixed !

On the way back from the last TAGS session I had to call in to our local supermarket to get some stuff my partner wanted, but the thing is, I'd forgotten completely that I hadn't got any make-up on, and generally when out in public I always wear make-up, because I think I don't look femme enough without it, anyway this time I just got on with it as normal no-one stared or made any derogatory comments - as is normally the case, and it wasn't until I'd got back to my car, that I realised that it was my first time in a supermarket without make-up. I have to admit I was amazed and happy with myself (chuffed).

On a day to day basis I'm getting more and more delivery drivers calling me "luv" than I ever imagined would be the case, LoL. 

Christmas preparations are getting underway here, the trees up and decorations and lights are on, party organised for the 27th, pain killers ready for the 28th ! We're all looking forward to it, and hope that your Christmas, or whatever celebration you have, is equally enjoyable.

Have a fabulous time,

Eve

As I posted in my previous entry, it was my Birthgirlday yesterday. I recieved an unexpected confirmation of my new femininity, but I was unsure about what to do with it. I had received a letter from the Local NHS Trust giving me an appointment for breast screening. I was unsure whether or not to accept it, because I thought that maybe it was dependent upon the age of the breast tissues, and with mine being very young, they might not have needed a mammogram. So I phoned the Screening Service and discussed the issue with them, I spoke to a radiographer who said that I should attend, because the screening was not dependent on the age of the breast tissue, but was dependent on the age of the person. She also said mammograms of transgender people are a relatively common occurrence.......It's so nice to be looked after.....:D

It all goes towards my feeling very happy as the real me that I've become.

Hugs,

Eve

Birthday

By eveannessant,

Well, it's exactly a year to the day since I changed my name and became a full - time Eve begining my RLE. It's hard to believe that I haven't appeared as male in all that time, and all the things I've done and places I've been as Eve. Physical development too, especially facial features, I look in the mirror now and know that I don't look like a bloke anymore - hurray that was one of my greatest fears. I don't worry about passing anymore, I don't worry if someone realises that I'm trans either, I'm just me and I'm happy with myself. I find myself thinking about outfits and how I'd feel wearing them, I can't stop buying clothes, I just love being me.........And to steal someone elses phrase, it's my Birthgirlday, and I'm one.

Last month I attended a trial trans / gender neutral only swimming session, but couldn't swim due to a deeply gashed palm, but on Sunday I will wear a swimsuit for the first time and go swimming, I also have a swimming cap in pink! Can't wait, but I hope one day to be able to go to any swimming pool but it'll have to wait until after GRS. So in the meantime this looks as if it's the only activity when I am still in an artificial environment (closet :angry:), well I really look forward to seeing what the next year brings when I'll be two.

Hugs,

Eve xx

Jewellery

By eveannessant,

I went into Birmingham's Jewellery Quarter this morning with my Mom who has a small jewellery business, so we went into a trade only wholesaler's where we were looked after by 3 very nice ladies. I wanted a new bracelet or bangle to replace two that have recently broken, now my wrists are fairly large by female standards, and the normal 7.5" bracelets will fit but they're not loose, so I was after 8" bracelets, which I asked for, one of the Ladies then said "oh ladies Bracelets are usually 7.5"", so I decided to be right up front and said "yes but I'm Transgender", "oh really" replied the lady, "I'd never have guessed", yes, this made me feel really good, Shrodinger would have been proud! I did pass after all! There followed a little bit of discussion then about trans issues in general, and I was told that now they know me I could come back any time in the future, so that'll be handy just before Christmas!. The older Lady asked where I had got my coat from, so I told her Luxembourg where I have recently been on holiday, so she was quite disappointed at this, so I suggested that she look on the web for it, I took my coat off and showed her the label, it was sold by Belgian Company JBC, who's stuff I really like. Anyway I got a split solid silver bangle, two silver rings and a pair of genuine pearl stud earrings....... I can't wait to go back again soon.

Cheers,

Eve

Went out for another long walk in the Severn Valley countryside on Sunday with my friend Sharon, we'd done walks along the valley a couple of times previously, but this time we parked my car two thirds of the way from Bewdley to Arley at a place Called Trimpley just above the reservoirs. we walked down the valley side to cross the preserved steam railway and then walked alongside the reservoirs, under the historic Victorai rail bridge along the river side to Arley where we crossed the river and walked on the west river bank all the way to Hampton Loade railway station to wait for a train to return us to Arley. Total distance walked as worked out with dividers, rulers and OS map is 8.155 miles or 13.125 Kms, it seemed nearly twice that distance walking over uneven grass, mud, and gravel surfaces. My bad left knee (bone necrosis - scuba diving, motorcycling et al) is still suffering the following day.

Anyway we had an enjoyable time and saw some really fine preserved locomotives and carriages pass us as we walked along the riverside, including a couple of famous Locomotives  ex LMSR  no 46100 Royal Scot, and Ex LNER Replica 60163 Tornado, built in 2008 at Darlington, it's that last steam locomotive built in the UK after a 48 year gap.

Enough of my anorak mentality. All through the walk I spoke to other walkers and and passengers and staff at the railway station and no one treated Sharon or myself any differently than other passengers or walkers. So I either passed as female, or people are very tolerant of Transgender people, either way I'm happy with that.

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It's been 3 weeks since I last consumed alcohol, I've not really missed it, except for a couple of glasses of red wine with the Sunday roast or Saturday evening fillet steak with roast mediteranean veg. It's surprised me really because I loved drinking proper English cider, especially the Herefordshire varieties, but it's been easier than I thought it'd be to go without.

Why would I want to apparently give up drinking alcohol? On my last visit to ChX GIC I saw Dr James Barrett (Psychiatrist), who incorrectly thought that I was an alcoholic, and spent almost all the appointment telling me of the evils of drink, & had the audacity to recommend to go to Alcoholics Anonymous! Well I'm strong enough to do what I want and not drink or drink as I want to. He's gotten this opinion from a lower than average oestrogen count in my blood test results, this after being diagnosed with having a fatty liver by a liver specialist, who told me that some people do have fatty livers, it's nothing to worry about and it shouldn't interefere with transgendering. It was hinted by Dr Barrett that I wouldn't be recommended by him for GRS unless I gave up Alcohol altogether. 

Well my latest blood test results came through recently, and they showed no signs of any alcohol related problems, my blood was taken only two weeks after stopping alcohol, now I'm sure that two weeks is not long enough to miraculously have near perfect blood test results, if I ever had an alcohol problem in the first place. My female partner (wife) is a medical Doctor and she can't see a problem either.

However with the threat of no GRS hanging over me, I'll continue to live in an alcoholic desert until Christmas, and see if there's any improvement in my life. I have another appointment at ChX GIC early December with Dr Seal the Endocrinologist, I'll discuss the issues with him, and then follow his advice.

It just makes me realise how Psychiatrists think that they know everything, and then judge others by their own values. What the hell has Transgendering got to do with Psychiatrists anyway, how can they come to such verdicts 3-4 mins in a consultation, only having read my case notes, and not ever having seen me before.

I don't need any "well done for giving up drink" comments please, it's easy I just don't do it, it's easy because I have never been an alcoholic, It's easy because I choose whether or not to drink alcohol.  

Now food and eating is another story, especially if I'm bored, and it has everything to do with transitioning..................

Cheers,

Eve

 

It's been 3 weeks since I last consumed alcohol, I've not really missed it, except for a couple of glasses of red wine with the Sunday roast or Saturday evening fillet steak with roast mediteranean veg. It's surprised me really because I loved drinking proper English cider, especially the Herefordshire varieties, but it's been easier than I thought it'd be to go without.

Why would I want to apparently give up drinking alcohol? On my last visit to ChX GIC I saw Dr James Barrett (Psychiatrist), who incorrectly thought that I was an alcoholic, and spent almost all the appointment telling me of the evils of drink, & had the audacity to recommend to go to Alcoholics Anonymous! Well I'm strong enough to do what I want and not drink or drink as I want to. He's gotten this opinion from a lower than average oestrogen count in my blood test results, this after being diagnosed with having a fatty liver by a liver specialist, who told me that some people do have fatty livers, it's nothing to worry about and it shouldn't interefere with transgendering. It was hinted by Dr Barrett that I wouldn't be recommended by him for GRS unless I gave up Alcohol altogether. 

Well my latest blood test results came through recently, and they showed no signs of any alcohol related problems, my blood was taken only two weeks after stopping alcohol, now I'm sure that two weeks is not long enough to miraculously have near perfect blood test results, if I ever had an alcohol problem in the first place. My female partner (wife) is a medical Doctor and she can't see a problem either.

However with the threat of no GRS hanging over me, I'll continue to live in an alcoholic desert until Christmas, and see if there's any improvement in my life. I have another appointment at ChX GIC early December with Dr Seal the Endocrinologist, I'll discuss the issues with him, and then follow his advice.

It just makes me realise how Psychiatrists think that they know everything, and then judge others by their own values. What the hell has Transgendering got to do with Psychiatrists anyway, how can they come to such verdicts 3-4 mins into a consultation, only having my read my case notes, and not ever having seen me before.

I don't need any "well done for giving up drink" comments please, it's easy I just don't do it, it's easy because I have never been an alcoholic, It's easy because I choose whether or not to drink alcohol.  

Now food and eating is another story, especially if I'm bored, and it has everything to do with transitioning..................

Cheers,

Eve

 

Recently for me, there seems to be new ways of looking at things, from a very much different place than was previously the case. After reading Karen Paynes recent entry "Haloween" where she looked back a year or so ago, it sparked my thoughts about the past, dressing and early transition.

I thought about those who, like I did, like to wear female clothes around the house, wearing skirts and dresses, or leggings and tops, with outrageously high heeled shoes. This was part of my earliest practical phases of transition. And today without thinking about it too much, I just seemed to automatically visualise young kids dressing up in mommy's clothes and shoes, as small children often do, especially small girls.

So what? Well it seems to me that I was doing the same exact thing a while back (maybe not with my mothers stuff though!), looking back from my present vantage point I can see that I was practising for what was to come in my life, it was part of growing up as a transwoman.

Now, at the start of my escaping "the closet" 4 years ago, I had realised that I had to go through female puberty, and as such I had thought only in terms of physical changes and social changes and challenges. I can now see that the early private dressing in the "closet" was pre-puberty.

I have always and honestly stated that I didn't feel as if I was "born in the wrong body", but that only when I look back I can see that there were signs that I was "not right" as a male, and whether or not it's the hormonal changes that I am going through, I am unsure, but it amazes me how much of my past that I can now see, and especially the sense I can now make of my past. I did used to get vague feelings as a male of what it might be to be female, but they'd soon disappear and I just thought of it being idle curiosity, and my "closet" cross dressing as a fetish.

On the other hand, perhaps my past problem was to ignore vague feelings that I didn't have some form of proof for, is this called a lack of self-belief? Whatever, I'm now happy to be on my voyage of joyful discovery............

Cheers,

Eve

I'd always wanted a pair of nice boobs for as long as I could remember, I used to imagine what it'd be like to have boobs, what it'd feel like with my nipples placed out much further from my ribs than they used to be. Then when I came out as transvestite, dressing part-time, I used to long to be more feminine, and that really started me off with hormones, way before any sane person would have advised anybody to, so yes I self medded.

I wanted as much feminisation as possible, to enable me to "pass" and act as a female, so that I could convincingly wear tight skirts, leggings, make-up, tight tops, and wait a minute isn't this sounding what a man's idea of what a woman is? It was mine. 

Point is that I knew that HRT would feminise me, that I'd grow boobs if I was lucky, that I'd loose upper body strength (I didn't realise just how much I'd lose though!), my facial features would soften, and that weight re-distribution would happen. This has happened, and over the last 14 months or so my tastes in female clothing have also changed, they started to become much more what a real woman would wear, same is true for make-up too.

It's gradually started to dawn on me after all this time, that I'm becoming a woman, not just a more feminine version of the previous me, as I had previously been thinking of. HRT for trans women is not just about Hormone Replacement Therapy, I'd been taking oestrogen for 18 months or so before I became a patient of Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic, and during that time I had developed as a more feminine male - the more feminine version of the previous me. HRT for trans women is as much about Hormone Removal Therapy, taking away testosterone has in my opinion, been responsible for my becoming a woman - not sure if there's still a way to go yet, I can only hope so.

So it was a bit of a revelation to realise that I'm becoming a woman, but one that I wouldn't want to miss for the world. Maybe those in our community who have known from birth that they were born in the wrong body may already know that they are a woman, but there are many like me who did not posess those feelings or have that knowledge. So to those who are treading, or contemplating treading a similar HRT path, beware that you'll become a woman not just a feminine version of yourself.

Cheers,

Eve

Ooh la bra

By eveannessant,

Following on from my previous entry whilst on holiday, we had a day out in southern Belgium, now most towns in the Ardennes have a castle, a church, a river, and a WW2 Tank (normally a US Sherman, although Houfalize has a German Panther but no castle!). La Roche en Ardenne must be a more important town than most as it has two tanks - a British Achilles Mk10 tank destroyer and a US Sherman, it's where UK and US forces met when pushing back the Germans during the Battle of the Bulge. 

But an even more important sign of the towns importance was the Bunting along the main street, it was made up entirely of bras, there was also a display on the town hall too. After walking around the town, we had a meal in an Ardennais restaurant, well if we have gone all that way, we want to sample the local food, rather than international food. We had Civet de Marcassin  which is wild boar stew, and if you've never tasted wild boar and you like meat generally, you've missed out!

Anyway photo's are of the bra bunting, I was amazed at it...............& of the WW2 reminders.

Cheers,

Eve

 

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I've been sooo busy just recently, preparing for hols and also cramming in work, then going on Holiday to Luxembourg via the Channel Tunnel with our Land Rover and Caravan, stopping overnight in Northern France then driving through Belgium to Esch sur Sure where we spent just under two weeks. When we got back I had to attend a Charing Cross GIC appointment yesterday after catching up with two weeks worth of work e-mails, and then today again busy all day at work...............it's a hard life !

So Esch sur Sure, we pitched up the caravan and went out most days to other parts of the Ardennes including Germany and Southern Belgium which I think I'll cover with subsequent entries. The little village of Esch is situated on the River Sure which is a tributary of the Mosel (or Moselle en Francais), it also forms a large part of the border betweeen Germany and Luxembourg a bit further downstream. It's a in a lovely setting inside a loop of the river at the bottom (well aren't all rivers??) of a deep and steep gorge like valley, see the photo's and I hope videos if they can be attached?

It rained a hell of a lot but it didn't spoil the holiday, we went out walking along the river and through the woods on the valley sides on days when we didn't go out farther afield via the Land Rover. 

Cheers for now,

Eve

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I've been a mix of stuck and lazy recently......stuck for something inspiring to post here and too lazy to push myself.............to enter much. Trouble is that life as Eve is so normal now, I just don't think beforehand about doing things and worrying if I pass or not. I just get on with it, of course you never know if you pass or not, no trans girl is 100% sure, if you ask you most definately won't pass! we refer to this as Schrödinger's pass! I don't need him or his pass anymore!

However I've been out and about recently in the great (hey it's small in the UK!) outdoors, with my friend Sharon cycling in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire, near the Welsh border, a couple of weeks ago, and got plastered in mud from my mountain bike. And last weekend we went back to the lovely Severn Valley at Bewdley and walked up along the river further than previously to Highley. This is two stations further up the preserved steam railway, we stopped for a pint of cider again, at Arley halfway along our walk, and by the time we got to Highley my right knee was killing me (hardly any cartilage left on it, caused by a Norton Commando kick start in my youth). We were very thankful for the return journey by train.

This weekend i'm off with my partner Maybelle (that's what we decided our ex husband and wife terminology would become) to Luxembourg on our holidays, with our caravan and some freinds from my previous existance.


Oh I 'spose that I should tell of Gossard undies, their superboost bras really grab boobs and push up and together, with matching thongs of course in a smallish size to enable tucking (that begins with a T) I just bought 3 sets ready for my hols......................

Cheers,

Eve x

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I have recently purchased some new outdoors / country boots, because they are so much more stylish than my old walking boots which although are pretty unisex looking were none-the-less bloke boots - ughh. So these new boots are Dublin River Boots, they're almost knee length to within an inch (25mm aprx), they were advertised as waterproof and breathable with other desireable qualities too, I think they were originally for horse riding but are also advertised as leisure / country boots. So Sunday's forecast was for heavy downpours of rain, what an ideal day to test out my new boots!

So with my friend Sharon, we set off for the small and picturesque town of Bewdley on the River Severn which is about 25 miles west of where I live. I parked my car in the station carpark and walked off north along the East bank of the river which parallels the preserved steam railway. the begining of the walk is along a delightful country lanewhich after a mile and a half or so finishes and becomes a narrow footpath. Now one of the reasons for buying the new boots was because they'd be so much better than ankle boots in tall wet grass, so i soon had an opportunity to try them out in such grass near a couple of reservoirs, they were great and totally waterproof. Continuing our walk under the railway / river bridge we were in very muddy conditions and brown puddles - no worries for my boots. We reached Arley which is the next riverside village north from Bewdley soaked through, our outdoors coats were found very wanting! so we looked like a couple of drowned rats. We had decided to cross the pedestrian only bridge & pop into the pub on the opposite bank for a pint or so of cider, it was truly delicious (Thatchers Gold from Somerset), I gave up trying to dry my hair with the hand dryer in the toilets, and sat with hair dripping whilst drinking my pint. We had decided to catch the train back to Bewdley so we set off for Arley Station a hundred yards or so uphill from the pub. If the walk took nearly 2 hours, the train journey seemed ro take only 5-6 minutes. 

Before transitioning I used to go to this railway a lot, because Steam engines have been an interest to me since childhood, and I don't see why my transitioning should alter that, I'm highly unlikely to start liking dolls houses etc. Anyway I always used to visit the 2nd hand bookstall on the station that specialises with railway books, and the old guy that runs it used to recognise me. I was always sort of wary about marching in as Eve, but I thought that I'd had such a bvrilliant day so far, this was really the last test for me to go in search for a suitable book, and pay the old guy for it. He had seen me at a local pub in December when I first became full-time Eve and had stared at me making me feel very uncomfortable, so this was a last test of my self confidence, I just had to do it or otherwise I'd never be truly Eve. Well I did it just marched in nonchalently found a book, walked up to the counter stared him straight in the face and he served me politely, charging only £2 for a book marked at £4, I didn't really give him a chance to make me fell anything other than a customer. When we got to the car sharon said that he did look at me with a puzzled face when I walked past the counter, you know what I couldn't care less whatever or whoever he thinks I am, & yes I will return to buy more books in the future, I know now that there isn't anywhere much that I wouldn't go to.

We both felt pleased with our walk along the picturesque river and beautiful countryside, the poor weather just added to a sense of adventure, I was in awe of my boots and the bookshop was like the cherry on top of the cake.........Eve can do whatever Steve used to do!

Cheers,

Eve

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Following on immediately from my previous entry regarding paint, which I should have posted  3-4 days ago.

I think I might have developed a sixth sense, this is completely contrary to what some of my friends inform me, that they didn't think I had any sense at all! However I've digressed, apologies, over the last 8 months or so I have had feelings predicting things happening, starting with the thoughts that I needed to buy National Lottery tickets because I'd win, I did and yes I have won small amounts several times since, I am still left with the feeling that I will (not might) win a sizeable amount in the near future. That as a one-off feeling didn't really make me consider the female intuition thing on it's own, but this intuitiveness seems to have now grown to predicting where the traffic will either turn off, of carry on the same road in front of me when I'm driving. Of course I don't rely on this "intuition" other than not bothering to overtake the vehicle in front if I percieve that it will shortly change direction.

Yes I drive too fast, compared to most others, it's an ex-biker thing, and also an ex-male thing too I suppose, but other vehicles do get in my way!!

However back to this weird intuition, when I look back at my life I can see (and I discovered this in my teens which strangely is when cross dressing started) that if I desired something badly enough, It would happen eventually by one means or another, either by luck or eventually by my own efforts. An example would be in my early biker years wanting a decent motorcycle (in those days decent meant non-Japenese!), I had to do this by my own efforts with a small amount of luck thrown in. I started off with cheap junk and through repairs , renovations, and trading up ended up with a superb Norton Commando with engine modifications including increased capacity to 920cc, I just wanted that bike so much that it happened, but luck played it's part on the way with opportunities to sell high and buy low.

The same can said of my transition from male to female, although at the start I just thought that I had a kinky fetish, I wanted to be able to wear certain provocative clothing and footwear that females wore, hell that was a real desire seeing girls dressed that way day in and day out, and eventually here I am, I've done that, and passed on to dressing comfortably as a female. I also had desires for boobs, well don't most males!, but no I mean my own, I always wondered what it'd feel like to have my nipples sticking out 4-5 inches in front of my ribs, and wobbling when walking etc., OMG this is sounding more and more like a fetish to me! LoL, however I desired them and they happened.

So are desires and intuition linked or did the intuition happen because of hormonal changes, I'm not totally sure yet but I surely hope that the intuition thing increases, I love it! in fact I desire it.

Cheers,

Eve

In my previous entry I said goodbye, fully thinking that would be the case. A few fellow members have asked me to reconsider, and to be honest, after a week or so I did feel that I had "painted myself into a corner", I now feel that the paint has sufficiently dried to allow myself out, and continue with my entries. So apologies to anyone annoyed at this!

Cheers,

Eve

Goodbye

By eveannessant,

I've made the decision to stop blogging on this site, there are two reasons for this the first is I have run out of things to say that have any real trans relevance, because living life as a trans woman has become so normal after my transition 8 months ago and taking oestrogen for over two and a half years. The second reason is, I suspect that many UK trans issues are different from within the US where most of the site membership seems to belong to. This is evidenced by the lack of comments and likes from some quarters to my comments and blog entries, this lends a rather parochial appearance in my eyes. To those of you who who do not fit that description, I am sorry to be leaving, and I'll miss you.

Eve