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About this blog

What popped into my head

Entries in this blog

Animosity or Acceptance

Hi there all.   How do I start this...   I grew up asking questions and I mean this question has been asked even before I was 4 years old.   The question in question is, "What did you let the doctors do to me as a baby?"   Well the answer back then was, circumcision, and distended testicles.  And another answer was, circumcision (which I never doubted for a second) and intertwined testicles.  Okay the reason I asked as a child was because I felt like I wasn't in the right body, and I could notic

Michele800226

Michele800226

Just a quicky

Good evening everyone   Not a big thing, I'm going in on Tuesday for an operation to remove my lump.  So far no sign of imminent danger, so relieved to an extent, but will be happier on Tuesday 2016-08-16 when it is removed.   So not all smile, but some sort of smile and a grin after having a bowl of comfort food.  Can't beat chocmint ice cream.  For once a male doc that wants to learn more.   Here's to queer cheers, hell whatever kind of cheers you want to give works.   Oooh was told by my non

Michele800226

Michele800226

Why Stress Right

Hi there all   I always stressed about the most insignificant things in the world...  My looks?   Will I be loved for who I am?  Does my life matter at all?  Am I making a difference on how people view me and others like me?  Can I change the perspective of people who think less of me for not identifying with my given gender on my birth certificate?  What does my family think of me?  Are my friends just friends to find out if I will fail in life and my dreams?  How successful will I be

Michele800226

Michele800226

What next

Good day all   I know that I am sometimes just questioning what is happening, but hey, seeing that I am still a young 36 years old that looks younger apparently then my 18 year old self, then how can I say no to being a questioning fiend.   I went in for the operation on Tuesday and to my perk, I wasn't treated as though I was a weird specimen of human trying to infiltrate an alien race.  Operation was done with the highest of professionalism and only afterwards I was asked about being transgend

Michele800226

Michele800226

Warned

Hi the all   As most of you all know, I'm a police officer since January 2005, and that I can fight.   Well yesterday, one of my colleagues came to the station, and he is currently working at a unit.  We started talking as normal, and then out of the blue, no I was the only one in blue uniform.  He warned me that I've become a topic at the unit and it isn't clear what the guys intentions are.   He further informed me that they are having issues with me being trans and discussing amongst themselv

Michele800226

Michele800226

Confused but not uncertain

Good evening all   As the title says I'm confused...   The confusion comes in when people try to assimilate being transgender or intersex into a WTF area and make those people feel like they nothing and don't deserve to breath the same air as them.   Well, let me see.  I'm intersex identifying as transgender, but more specifically identifying as female and always have.  Trying to nullify my existence only gets the dragons fire breathe that much hotter, as I clearly

Michele800226

Michele800226

Self examination and fear of unknown

Hi all   As always non cryptic headings.     This week was endo week and yes the vampires took blood from me twice.  Results were good and I didn't fear any of it.   Now last night, not as per usual.  But with usual actions led me to self examination.  Yes, I've been wiping myself since the beginning of times and felt an irregularity last night.  Started feeling myself, not out of being horny or anything, but feeling something I'm not use too.  Thought at the beginning that I imagined something

Michele800226

Michele800226

Whoop whoop

Hi everyone, hope you guys have been well with me not here and that some soul who needed it was helped.   Let me see how the story format go and here is the last few weeks with the biopsy and how I was doing for the time till now.   Ooooh, my sister got her car back today, so I should probably have my car serviced   Biopsy Done & Dusted   Feelings While Unknown Date: 2016-08-16   I was taken in and first weight, making me feel uncomfortable at the thought that someone else is seeing my weigh

Michele800226

Michele800226

Post Operation Thrills

Good Evening   Operation day was 7 March 2017.   Well, no more Estrogen and no more Testosterone development for me, as no more testicles or ovaries for me.   Which was brought on 11 months prior when I developed, make that discovered growth, got admitted to hospital for chemotherapy which made me so sick that I lost 12kgs (+-26Lbs), and the 7 months ago removing the growths as the original doctor decided to be a hostile transphobic fool, and the younger surgeon with a newer practice was trans-f

Michele800226

Michele800226

Lasering is a bitch

Hi all   I know, it's all part of the transition.  But does laser hair removal have to sting this much???   Okay, so I did it a few minutes ago.  Stung a bit, but I've found better results if you don't shave beforehand.  It's also not like I have hair popping out like daisies on my face and neck.  It is still like a little blotch I've here and there.  I last shaved on Friday, because of a round trip from Cape Town to Upington (over a1000miles) and back.  Didn't think we wouldn't not sleep for a

Michele800226

Michele800226

Too much, or just enough

Hi there everyone   Know that this have been a while.  But I can promise that I have more then enough to tell.   Where to start, is a good question, and like I tell everyone go to the beginning.  But in this instance, I will take different headings for different starts.  So LONG STORY  I THINK...   DATING Well since I last was on I got in a relationship and ended it a few days ago.  But here goes the experience.   Well as I never go looking for things like this, I can't say that I was on the hun

Michele800226

Michele800226

Crucifixion wants to start again...

Hello all   Got a weird question albeit normal question the other day.   I was asked out of the blue by one of the officers at work, "Will you be capable of answering a question when the new station commander asks you about your dress code?  And have you changed it at work?"   The it is, my gender specifics and the dress code for male and female police members are slightly different at work.  Answering this officer, I clearly stated that the workplace were informed and some of my medical certifi

Michele800226

Michele800226

Some opinions

I know the title will sound like I'm rethinking something, and seeing that this is a Transgender blog, I might be thinking that I am doing the wrong thing.  But no, don't be hassling me to change for you please.  I am perfectly Michele as I am, just need a few minor modifications, make that minor modifications in the form of surgeries.   I'm currently the fleet manager as I said in a previous blog.  This 8-4 thing is killing me as I'm use to the 6-6 thing and after 2 days and 2 nights I would no

Michele800226

Michele800226

Popularity changes

Good day all   Okay, don't be all flustered and think that it changed my attitude to the world, it didn't, I'm just pointing out what I did, and somehow I am still getting people following me and hitting on me.  What I did I don't actually know.  But this is the steps that I took.  Maybe it was a form of liberation, but it was definitely a way to say, look at me and be certain that I am human and not going anywhere.   In a recent Facebook entry I made I wrote:   My bio * 36 years old * police of

Michele800226

Michele800226

38 and loving it

Well who thought that 38 could look this bad.  I didn't, cause I know when I'm bad, I'm at my best.   So who wants to disagree.  And yes I've been absent for some time.

Michele800226

Michele800226

In retrospect

Good evening all   Yes a retrospective look at what is what...   Why so many transgender or gender non-confirming persons are to denied the passing as the gender they have always known themselves to be is the hardest to understand.  It comes with the fact that some families would rather deal with a sibling or child as being heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual, but bring up the transgender or transsexual word and everyone freaks out.   So in retrospect, I was thinking of the time I was trying t

Michele800226

Michele800226

There goes another friend

Hi all   Yesterday Monday 2016-06-13 at between 02:45 and 03:00 another police officer friend of mine was gunned down.  I know that some of you will be telling me to look after myself and be safe outside, but then I can think of this to say, if it is my time to die, no matter what I do and where I go, I will die.  So I prefer to face everything head on so I know, I went out the way I lived and believed in, my way.   Yesterday's guy was on police college with me and at the interim police station

Michele800226

Michele800226

Just realized (n Bek Vol)

I never thought of it like this...   Okay, we all probably never thought of it, okay make that the persons who never gave the world a chance to influence and change your gender.  I've always been trapped in a body with a body part belonging to someone else.  And even as a child I would ask everyone, "WHERE DO YOU SEE A BOY, BECAUSE IF YOU TALKING TO ME, I'M NOT LISTENING AS I AM NOT A BOY!!!"   So did I give my parents the chance to grieve the loss of a son they never had, or is my mother just t

Michele800226

Michele800226

First Migraine After A While

Hi there all   I thought that my migraines would be a thing of the past seeing that it is testosterone related, but hey it the first I had in a few months.   The sensation of getting nauseous and disliking the way light makes my eyes and head feel is one thing I dont like.  It aggravates me to a degree that I would just want to punch a hole through a wall just to focus the pain on something else.   I know when my estrogen levels are higher with my intake it deminishes.  So I will definitely be t

Michele800226

Michele800226

To smile or not to smile is the question

Hi there everyone   Its not about being optimistic or pessimistic, it about the way my smile and looks are putting me in hot water at times.   I've come to realize that some of my male friends are now also hitting on me, because I've got a perky happy face 90% of the time if not more.  Now they are becoming like horny dogs after my ass too.  Is this a culmination of my smile, facial expression, ass and boobs or just men being like a pack of horny dogs in heat season???   With the unknown factor,

Michele800226

Michele800226

Medical Week

Tuesday came, and it was the last day of January by that.  Left work early, and got to the endocrinologist.  Marli had her normal  checks and we spoke.  But what made me zone out was, here is a referral, you need to go for a mammogram.  Lucky we already went through the blood works that I took on the previous Friday.   I got to work the next day, as the blood works is showing signs of cholesterol and that my testosterone levels are higher.  Normal male ranges but still half of what I started out

Michele800226

Michele800226

What have I done. Does this calm me???

Hi there all   I know I haven't been on in the resent weeks and I am to blame.  Well you'll see what is to blame as I continue this entry....   So, I have been chatting to this guy and thought that he is cool and everything.  Till the awkward part came of him asking me to meet him.  We continued our cheerful banter and I didn't let that phase me.  As luck would have it, I was busy chatting to a girlfriend about my gender and she being understanding and him at the same time.  Yes,  I did the bloo

Michele800226

Michele800226

Let there be??????

Hi there   I'm smiling at the thought of me saying, let there be... First thing that comes to mind is ,"Light". But which light will I be referring too? Light as in truth, or the perfect way forward. But the more I think about it, the answer slips me... What I've come to find is, my week was filled with conversation with either men I personally know or have just met on Facebook. Yes, I sometimes accept request from total strangers. In the hope that not all men are dogs or think a pair of tits ma

Michele800226

Michele800226

Sunday and a time to rest

Hi there all   I know that I am attempting to be online at the very least once a week.   This Sunday I have the sensation that I need to talk about the past week.  Yes, I know I ventured into it.  But the avenues that I haven't entered were a few more than the pooptis I was talking about earlier.  But as a recourse I think I need to vocalize and read what I know and what I can do.   First thing first.  I was told by my overall commander that I must drag him to court, and this time not just deman

Michele800226

Michele800226

Is this freaked out, elation, flabbergasted, working for me???

Hi all.             Not that many days have past since I gave my last update.   Being doing the fitness boot camp as I said, and on Thursday got certificates for attendance.  Wasn't weird that completed it, but then I got the best improved on burpees, lol that was hilarious.  Sat there and thought it was over and here I get called up for another thing.   Well, I had on this confused face and all.  Got up and went in because I somehow without knowing it became a couch as well.  And my surprise is

Michele800226

Michele800226

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