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About this blog

I have no idea what to describe here.

Entries in this blog

Up To Hour 46 Post Op

Day one Post Op: Pain  and Mobility Expectation - To be too sore to live and need help with absolutely everything. Reality - I have taken my pain meds every 4 hours, and I am not in much pain, just a little sore. It's more of a discomfort.I am able to lift cups of water and pillows. I can't lift my arms higher than my chest muscles, but turn on lights using my head. I couldn't twist bottle caps off yesterday but I can tonight. Comfort (sitting, lying) Expectation - I wasn't sure, but was expecti

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Top Surgery Update

I had surgery today and everything went better than expected.  I wanted the anchor-t or inverted-t method so I have an extra scar, but I'm alright with that. That's a whole other can of worms. i do find if I am trying to stay awake for a prolonged period of time, I get nauseous. Also if you have surgery in the future- stay away from oranges and orange juice, you will regret it! My family still have no idea I went under the knife today. I haven't spoken to either of them in a while.  I'm tired. I

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My Secret Surgery

I am having chest surgery in four weeks. I am super excited, and a little terrified. Nobody in my family knows. They're not supportive, and I don't want any passive-aggressive comments to bring me down. I'm sad that I feel I can't share this milestone with them.

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How Do I Just Let Go of Family?

(Because this is too long to get to the point, I added the end at the top, and the rest can be considered background information. Sorry it's all over the place) Basically, the reason for this post, yesterday my mom wanted to go out for dinner. She told me to be there for three so we could have an early dinner. By six, we still hadn't left for the restaurant, and at 6:30 my sister, bro in law and niece show up, for dinner too. Unexpected by me. By 8, we still hadn't left for the restaurant becaus

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Rollercoaster of the CAMH experience & OHIP coverage

I live in Ontario. We have a provincial insurance that covers doctor visits & surgeries (medical necessity, not cosmetic) Called OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan). In order for Gender Reassignment Surgery to be covered under OHIP, you need to go through the Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) at Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH). In order for ANYONE in Canada to have GRS covered by their provincial health plan, they have to go through the GIC at CAMH, and the only ONE centre in the c

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Becoming Us - Have You Seen It?

BECOMING US (ABC Family) STORY LINE (From IMDB) In this unscripted drama, a teenager named Ben learns to live with his dad becoming a woman. The series will follow Ben, his family and his friends as they support one another through this unexpected journey and navigate their new world with Charlie now living as Carly. I'd like to know if anyone who has lived something of this experience has seen Becoming Us? I just want to know if this is like reality, or some fabricated show that spreads untrue

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Media Representation

It seems to me, that trans masculine representation is vastly lacking, in the media, in activism, in resources, and I am sure other areas. I guess what this rant is, is about one person. I used to follow a prominent trans woman feminist activist, but for my sanity, needed to distance myself. Since she gets a lot of media coverage, she's hard to avoid. As a whole, I don't really have a problem with her views, but there are things that piss me off. The main one is that she claims she's "one of the

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Thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner

People have asked for my opinion about Caitlyn Jenner, and the Vanity Fair magazine, and all that stuff. First off, I am I am happy she can finally be herself. Secondly, I think she is beautiful on the cover of Vanity Fair. Ultimately though, I don't care and have no opinion. I didn't know who Bruce was before. The first time I heard that name, it was when they got into a car accident in Jan/15. That fact that Bruce won a gold medal or that he is associated with the Kardashians was something I j

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Bad Experience at the Bank

I had to do some banking in the actual bank, at the teller desk today. I have to deal with a physical person only a few times a year, but I get nervous every single time. My name is still my birth, and extremely female name. I have never had issues in the past, but today was a different story. The lady who called upon me was new, and still didn't know the major procedures so she asked "Tony" to come over to help. He looked at me, at the computer at me again, and announced my name in a loud-ish a

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I Just Want Cake & Coke Zero!

When I was in HS, I was thin as twig at 89lbs even though I ate a lot of food, all the time. I was often mistaken as an anorexic because of my size. Come to think of it, I don't know if I was hungry, or ate to gain weight - which never happened. Fast food was only a treat, about 3 times a year, or if we were on vacation driving two days to get to our destination. I walked all the time, mostly because my bus stop was the last stop before school, and it was extremely crowded. When I entered colleg

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My Name Isn't Official Yet, So Dignity Doesn't Matter.

I just learned my sister, who I thought was the most supportive and understanding about trans related things in my family, is not as accepting as I thought. She called me by my birth name over text (because she doesn't like to hear the truth when she asks my opinion, apparently). I corrected her, and her response was, "well it's not official yet!" This is the most shocking because she has actually had diversity and sensitivity training with her job, which included an LGBTQ section and focused on

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Thanks Caitlyn Jenner!

Although I had been masculine for most of my adult years, I have been officially out to my family since Jan. 2010 and I have been on testosterone for close to three years. I put off my transition because I didn't think I would have a family if I did. After many of my mom's abusive comments towards me, I finally said, "screw this" and started it. I was right. Our relationship was pretty non-existent, and when I thought I would try to rekindle a familial dynamic again, my mom plain refused to ackn

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