Hi all, a couple of quick recent anecdotes... 1. On my way to therapy the other day a random guy on the street (a contractor I believe, waiting outside a building) said "hello gorgeous" to me as I passed I smiled at him, said hello and carried on. The downside is that it put me in a really good mood ... on my way to therapy!!! That doesn't help 2. I may have met someone the other night when I was out ... well, I definitely met someone, but it could be "someone" - I may know more tomorrow, we
Hi again, I wanted to post some more now that I've actually had my surgery (YAY!!!!), especially for anyone thinking about or planning the surgery themselves - everyone's experience is different, but this might give some things to consider: Monday, Dec. 26 - I arrived in Philadelphia and checked-in to my hotel. Went to a Target Express nearby to load up on food and beverages for the days after surgery when I'd be at the hotel, knowing that getting out for food would be tough. Around noon I sta
Good morning everyone!
We're having a nice breezy, rainy day in NYC today (which is fine for Monday).
I've been thinking about my gender and sexual orientation a lot recently, specifically as they relate to each other, and wanted to put my thoughts out here to see if anyone has some ideas on the topic
First, I do realize that gender and sexual orientation are different things, and they we do all have both of them. What I've been thinking about lately though is that for quite awhile I'
Hi all, It's been awhile since I've been able to write - very busy at work, and outside of work (the outside part is all good, but tiring). In a prior post I wrote about an "exit strategy" from my current job, and that point has advanced substantially. Several weeks ago I had breakfast with my electrologist (her appointment after me had cancelled). I was telling her about my job issues and half-jokingly asked if she knew anyone who was hiring. She replied that I was asking the wrong question, a
I cannot believe I haven't written about this yet! Last Friday I saw "Wonder Woman," and it was truly amazing. There are things I could be critical of (the messaging in a few spots was a little heavy handed and the effects in a couple of areas a little cheesy), but overall I think it's a truly great movie (and I'm not really into superhero movies). I won't say much about the movie because I don't want to do any spoilers - but there were moments when I was moved to tears, and moments when I felt
Hi everyone, I recently finished my first year of school (I'm doing the 2-year MSW program at NYU) and decided that I needed a little get-away (emphasis on "little" - I don't really like traveling all that much, and can't afford much). So I decided on a day trip to the shore - my goal going into the day was to not think backwards or forward, just to try to be in the present. Of course, as I mentioned to a friend later, it was a little weird that I chose to go to a place that we used to go to all
Bonjour toute le monde! As it's passed midnight it's now officially my birthday - 49 years old today (really at 12:39 pm). In prior years i've swung between not wanting to think about it being my birthday, to putting too much emphasis and really wanting to celebrate (which never worked our as planned). This year I feel content with doing whatever comes up and otherwise doing some introspection and planning. I might go down to the shore (the "beach" for those of you not from New Jersey). I went
As I walked home today, I was behind a person who ran into someone he knows and said - quite loud - "men trying to become women, that [bleep] burns me up." He was ahead of me, so I don't know if it was directed at me (he may have turned and noticed). Anyway, I didn't confront him (I don't make a habit of confronting random idiots on the street, seems like a wise course), but my thought was "well that's not right, i'm not a man trying to become a woman, i'm a woman no longer trying to be a man."
Good morning everyone! First a few updates. Today, in addition to the little make-up touches I've been adding over the last few weeks, I did my eyebrows and am using lipstick (and lip gloss), and wearing a cute new necklace I bought over the weekend. A picture from this morning is below. I did get a "sir" at 7-11 today, but I'm ok with that, he knows me (I stop there regularly on the way to work), and he was looking strangely at me after that (a mix of confused and amused, or something like t
Hi all! So my recovery seems to be going well. I had my follow-up with the surgeon and they removed the packing and tubes. That felt so much better! They showed me how to dilate - wasn't too bad. Yesterday I came home - I've never been so happy to be home! Recovery is easier in my own place with my own stuff. For 4 weeks I have to dilate 4x a day for 20 minutes each. I'm still working on my positioning, it gets a little uncomfortable and tedious, but I'll survive :-) Otherwise for now it's a lot
Hi everyone, I've been less active here recently because of my new position at work - i actually have work to do But I am still trying to keep up with reading entries! It's been 2 months of living full-time as a woman, and about the same on hormones. With the exception of being misgendered a couple of times it's been wonderful. Between this and my new job I don't think i've ever felt such contentment. I do wish my sister would come around, but fortunately i've come out to other family member
This is a topic I've been thinking about a lot, and have been wanting to write something about - so here goes!!! It's the concept of a transgender "community" - does it exist? Should it exist? It came up during the support group that I facilitate on Saturdays, so I thought it might be time to look at the issue myself a little more deeply - and see what others think :-) In 2 separate contexts I was told by people - who knew I was in the process of transitioning - that they knew trans people who
Hi all, Well, since last I wrote I have become unemployed – YAY! It was by choice, I had been planning on going back to school part-time when my employer offered a reasonably generous “buy out” package, so I took it – this way I can go back to school full-time and finish in 2 years instead of 3 (I’ll be attending NYU in the fall, going for a Masters in Social Work). So for the next 2 months, until Orientation on August 31, I am completely free. What I hadn’t considered was the “identity crisi
Hi all, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm not sure, since I haven't written lately, if I mentioned writing to my brother a few weeks ago about my transition (we don't speak often, so calling about it felt weird). Anyway, he's not the most progressive thinking person, so I didn't know how he's react - and it had been a couple of weeks, so... He called me tonight. He admitted to not understanding it (but heck, I don't either), but he said he's not going to judge and he is supportive He had some
Hi all, It's been a busy few weeks so I haven't had a chance to read or write here - I hope everyone is having a nice holiday season! My year is ending on a nice flourish. First, I went back to Social Security with my new doctor's note and they've now corrected my gender in their records - and the woman I dealt with was extremely nice - possibly because she knows that what happened last time was so wrong. She also referred to me as "ma'am" several times I got my new birth certificate the same
So, I asked a friend (cis-woman) if we could do lunch on Saturday - just said for now there was something I wanted to talk about. I plan to "come out" to her as transgender.
It feels a little anti-climactic, after all she already knows I cross-dress and not for fetish reasons. But, outside of my therapist she will be the first person to whom (yes, i'm trying to keep "whom" alive!) I will have self-identified as trans.
To me I think the big thing, besides actually saying it out loud, is th
Hi all,
I heard about this book in several blogs and/or forums last week as I was catching up, and I immediately purchased it. I've gotten about a quarter of the way through it (I picked up the pace considerably when I decided to read it during my commute, which is when I do most of my reading).
I just finished the section on childhood years and it's already had a substantial impact on my thinking. In terms of being transsexual I would probably say that I'm not, but as I read more I beco
Good afternoon everyone! I mentioned in a post last week that I had started using Christie at work, in addition to everywhere else in my life. This week, with the approval of the Dean and Associate Dean, I asked our IT Dept. to change my email address, which they did without question and quite quickly (within an hour of my request - and they NEVER do anything that fast). An email is being put together to send to the students I work directly with, and then another for the full school which won't
Ok people, so this isn't technically - or at least not fully - about being trans, but something I need an outlet for. It might be a bit meandering. I've been going through a difficult stretch, including a series of "endings" that have left me feeling - well, I don't quite know, but I know a thought that has crossed my mind several times is "when will I find peace?" The endings - (1) I'm applying to grad school and on Friday got a rejection from one of them - the one that was by far my first cho
I didn't think this would become a weekly thing, going in I assumed I would get tired of the show pretty quickly (being on E and all), but no, I'm not. The show really is getting better and better each week, and my respect for Caitlyn grows with it (she is exec producer, so nothing happening on the show is happening without her). This week they spent more time with the less fortunate trans people in San Francisco, and Caitlyn seemed sincerely moved and in fact did a couple of really great thing
Hi all, On Saturday I had lunch with a friend from school - and then we hung out for a few hours. I know him well, we were at the same field placement during our first year and we share a love of Taco Bell :-) A discussion we had along the way on Saturday was about being "out" in class. With me it's about my transgender identity, with him it's about being a military veteran. On the surface for both of us is a desire to not be "the ___ student" (me "the trans student"). For him that might reall
I've been wanting to do this for my own purposes anyway, but since I have a blog now I should use it!
In exploring my gender I've thought a lot about the past and anything that might have been an indicator of what I really was (am!).
The earliest item is my very first best friend (only friend for awhile) - Missy (totally ironic that I now use that name for my drag name). I'm not even sure when we became friends, we were both younger than 5 years old though. She lived down the street from
It's been almost a year since I first openly acknowledged to myself, and then my therapist, that I am transgender (it was sometime in February). That got me to thinking last night about gender dysphoria. Early on I had read many accounts of people's experiences with GD, and I was having a hard time relating - most included comments about "knowing from early childhood that I was a girl trapped in a boy's body," etc., and I didn't really have those memories (I also recognized that at 48 years old
Hi everyone! I haven't posted in awhile, but I recently had these pics sent to me and wanted to share them - also to observe that I do want to share them! That's been one of the more amazing parts of transitioning, before that I didn't want my picture taken, if it was I didn't want to see it, and I certainly wouldn't have shared it. These were taken at a lunch that we had after the completion of a recent round of supervision with the volunteer organization I belong to. The person taking them i
Just some random thoughts as another week comes to an end and I get ready for a 4-day weekend (YAY!) I mentioned in an earlier post that this week I finally wore shoes (2 days) that are clearly women's. This was also the first week that I've gone 100% in female clothing. I'm still getting more "sirs" than I'd like, and someone yesterday commented on what I was wearing saying "I respect a man who can wear pink." Those things all make me wonder "what more do I have to do!?!?" Well, that's my we
