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Just another Rambling Jam


WarrenG

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Hey Ladies and Gents and Robotics of the future who are posing as the usual nerds who actually know the key to the universe but are keeping it secret to watch us make fools of ourselves.

You know, because they're absolute asses.

And face it, we can be rather amusing to watch trip over our own feet sometimes.

Come on people, admit it. You laugh when others run into glass doors.

We're hilarious.

ANYWAY, enough about the stupidity of the human race (which would be solved by removing warning labels, by the way. The universe would sort itself out eventually, to be honest. Removes the morons from the people who actually gained common sense at birth.

You know, because that’s what normal people have. Common sense…

Though sadly I have a feeling that the general population of today’s youth would perish. Sad, but nessesary.

But, once again, I’ve trailed off my train of thought because as some of you know, the rails to my train of thought are as twisted and mangled up as old spegetti you found in your fridge from last Sunday’s dinner.

SO, back on topic.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Life.

Well, life still sorta sucks a little bit. But, what else is new, right?

I went to the doctors office for my usual “lets see if you’re still functioning” visit, and I’ll admit, it could have gone better.

I unfortunately have fallen back into a full swing of my “self harm” issues, and I dare say they’re a little more consistant and addictive as the last phases of it.

So I admitted to my doctor about whats going on, and yes, I had had a few thoughts that I’m not so proud of.

I felt it only beneficial to let her know what were going on through an honest standpoint, and that my antidepressants were as effective to me as water is to a heart attack.

Naturally, she were concerned, and we discussed weening me off from my Lexapro and onto another medication, Zoloft. We’ll see how that goes, but my hopes are….well, hopeful.

Another topic we discussed is my back pain.

She had been aware of it for some time, and had previously suggested pain killers such as ibuprofen or Tylenol, which I advised her that was unhelpful, and she was nice enough to not question it.

She asked me where it hurt (which is right between my shoulders most days) and as I moved my arm up to point to the area, low and behold, my shoulder popped. Not uncommon for me, it’s been an issue since I were a very young teen.

Alarmed, she investigated, and her theory is that the weight that my bra straps had put on my shoulders as a young adult has damaged the way my shoulders matured, which makes them pop a lot. Possible, and completely believable.

When I broke down into tears about not being able to afford my top surgery and how bad my back was killing me, she decided that she would do even further investigating and be more aggressive with trying to find a way to turn my top surgery into a medical nessesity.

Thank Frogging Gerd. (I was asked by a catholic coworker to try and avoid saying the f-bomb or ‘God’, and I’m up for a challenge. Does that One time of saying God count? Crap, is that two? Damn it.)

So in one aspect, I MIGHT be closer to top surgery. No promises, and I’m not fool enough to think that my problems are solved, but I’m not hopeless enough to assume it wont work.

I have previous damage to my spine for falling off a cliff, damage to my ribs and previous damage to my shoulders from them popping out of place from lack of cartilage. Getting rid of some of my top-heavy problems will be beneficial not just to my mental state, but certainly from a medical standpoint to my health.

I don’t want to be eighty years old and unable to stand upright because of years of back problems.

On another note, I received a package today.

EmmaSweet, this shoutout is for you, babydoll ;)

Love, Love, LOVE the book you sent me!

Wonderful pictures, wonderful stories, very inspiring!!

For those who are curious, it was the book called “Transfigurations” by Jana Marcus, and it is phenomenal!

Thank you a million times over :D

Well, I think that just about wraps up this session of rambling and bologna. Impressed that I spelled that right? Yeah, me too.

LATER LADIES AND GENTS,

And a special wink to the nerds. Just cuz’ we fam, yo!

Warren AKA “RenRen”

11 Comments


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RenRen,

I'm pretty new here and don't really know you, but I read your post and i'm really sorry that your going through such difficulties :( that seems totally useless to say, but I doubt there's anything I could say that would help much.

It is encouraging to see that you have help and are trying things - and that you're able to maintain some humor through it!

If the "thoughts you aren't proud of" are what i'm thinking, then I do know a little about that, i'be had them too, a couple of times just in the last few weeks. I do manage to remember when they happen that as long as i'm here I still have a chance to be happy. If i'm wrong about what you meant then disregard what I just said :)

Xoxo

Christie

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First off, what cracks me up was my birth name was Kristy G. Just a tidbit that I found humorous :P

On another note, you were correct. And I've recently found a quote from Mark Twain that I'd like to one day get tattooed upon my scarred bicep from self harm, that you might also enjoy.

"Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably; and NEVER regret anything that makes you SMILE" Mark Twain

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The circle of life, you move away from the name and I move towards it! It was actually my middle name by birth, so it seemed a natural choice (it was my mother's maiden name)

that is a great quote - it would make for a big tattoo :)

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My intentions were to get a hawthorne tree over my bicep, with just the end of the quote as wording beneath it. "Never regret anything that makes you smile"

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That sounds like a great idea for a tattoo! I have 4 tattoos already, I want another but i'm waiting until i'm done with laser hair removal. Mine are all wolf themed

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I have a crow and wolf on my back, with a triqua in the center with "Abaachii k'eh" and "Eire go braugh" (apache way and ireland forever, i believe) and a wolf on my leg with wings that says "mathair m'aingael coimhdeachla" in gaelic. Meaning "my father, my guardian angel" for my father who passed away when I was 12

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Interesting - one of my wolf tattoos, on my leg, is a wolf drawn around the Cherokee word for wolf (My friend dre it).

Sorry to hear about losing your father at such a young age, that has to be really difficult

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Sounds epic, Veronica ;) And thanks!

Christie, thanks :) it was a rather sudden and tragic start to my teen years but we all got through it alright :)

In fact, the other night I had a very comforting dream about him and we talked about the transgender situation.

It certainly made me feel much better, even if it was only a dream ^_^

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Hey Ren!

Great to hear from you and I'm delighted that you like the book. I hope it helps you, maybe something to look at and read when life throws crap at you. (I think crap is a fine and permissible word to use.)

About the Ladies and Gents and Robotics of the Future... Sounds to me like you're talking about the Darwin Awards. These are awarded to people posthumously for their stupidity and success at removing themselves from the gene pool. Like the guy who figured he could electrocute fish in the lake as a much faster way to do it than with a pole and lures. Yep, he turned on the juice and was delighted to see dead fish floating to the surface. So, he waded out to collect them. Oops! He'd forgotten to first turn off the electricity... He joined the dead fish.

I sure hope you will be able to get your top surgery. If it's prescribed as a medical necessity that would be fantastic and paid for by your insurance, right? I'll be thinking of you and sending whatever good vibes I can to help.

It's always nice to hear from you. Don't be a stranger!

Hugs,

Emma

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Hey Warren,

Best of luck getting your top surgery classified as a medical necessity... I really hope it works out for you! (And good luck with getting your medication issues worked out too.)

But, um, "falling off a cliff"? :blink: Whoa. That's... intense. I'm glad you're still here to tell the tale.

And hey, we already know the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. It's just the *question* that's giving us a spot of trouble. ;)

Best wishes to you... and watch out for those robots from the future. Especially if they look like 1980s Schwarzenegger. 1990s Schwarzenegger should be OK though. Just don't confuse the two! :lol:

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I agree...it would be cool if you could get those suckers classified as medically detrimental. I just hope that if so, they will shave 'em all the way down. Too often, the most they will do is a "reduction." A shame the patient can't dictate how far to reduce.

I guess if they reduce them enough though... then a good binder will work wonders. As far as that goes, a neoprene waist trimmer would work, and be a heck of a lot cooler.

-Michael

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