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Wow What a Year!!

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Wow So much has happened in the last year (since 5/1/2014) the day first saw my therapist and she said those fateful words “oh it sounds like you may be transgender.” I’d never heard those words before. But those words that have turned my world upside down. No actually they have turned my world upside right, but have turner everyone else’s upside down.

So here’s what has happen since I heard those words
On May 31st came out to my wife
Sometime in July, finally said I might be transgender.
August 29th went to my first Trans Support Group
August 30th came out to my health coach
October said that I am transgender
November 2nd came out to my colorist
November 10th met a trans friend
November 17th came out to my doctor
November 17th started wearing nothing but women’s clothes every day
About November 20th stopped having migraines
November 19th came out to my nail girl
December 3rd came out to my massage therapist
December 3rd through January 31st came out to about 25 sales women
About January 1st stopped taking all medications, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, or antidepressants
January 10th saw new therapist
January 11th got fitted for my first bra
January 31st told 2 women at blood bank
About February 1st totally accepted and even embraced the fact I am transgender.
February 2nd came out to friend in Texas (1st guy)
February 18th told my new doctor
January 28th told 2 more women at blood bank
March 16th came out to my cousin
March 28th came out to my daughters
March 28th through April 30 came out to 10 other sales women
April 22nd met a new friend and she totally accepts me for me
April 25th came out to my best friend (2nd guy)

So now today I don’t hate myself. I don’t hate the fact I am transgender. In fact I love me for who and what am, and that’s a transgender woman.
On the day you I firs heard “you may be transgender” and there was a magic pill I could take to make me not be trans, I would have taken it in a heartbeat.
3 months ago I am not sure I what would have done. Today I am not taking it and there’s no way you can force it down my throat.
I used to look at it as a curse, but now see it as a blessing. I would not want to be not trans because I would not just lose part of me, I would lose me.

I am so much a peace with who and what I am I have not taken any numbing medications(sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, or antidepressants ) in over 4 months and have only had 1 migraine in 5 last months. I think that’s really awesome. It’s not that I feel better than I ever have it that I feel alive for the first time.
So today I say I am transgender,

YES I AM PROUD TO BE TRANSGENDER!!
“oh it sounds like you may be transgender.”

Hugs,
Dawn Lynn
PS by the way the translation “oh it sounds like you may be transgender.”
for me is "of course you not a sick disgusting pervert" which is what I thought for most of the first 55 year of my life" So in essence those words have freed me from my self made prison I spent my whole life in.


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10 Comments

Posted

Dear Dawn,

I love your post; it really speaks to me. I wonder what my life might have been like if a therapist had said those words to me, too. I was so ashamed of my feelings for so many decades... I was even afraid to admit my feelings to a therapist! Which seems stupid now, but my shame was in control. No more, no more.

Anyway, you deserve such accolades for what you have accomplished. Good for you. I hope we hear from you more often!

hugs,

Emma

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Posted

Dawn,

What a wonderful year!  Like Emma I wish I had a therapist say that to me at some point - but once I said it to myself I experienced the same general feeling, really almost immediate elation.  I haven't stopped anti-depressants yet, but probably soon.

I look forward to hearing about your ongoing progress :P

xoxo

Christie

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Christie, and Emma ,

 I am so very grateful I did get to hear those wonderful word "oh sound like you may be transgender"  As I too lived in total shame. Along with self loathing and hated and many other negative thoughts,   before I heard those beautiful words. I just wish I could of heard them at age 24  , instead of 54 . None the less I will take it, better late than never. As I am alive for the first time in my life, feeling better than I ever have in my life. And I feel this good and I've not even started HRT yet!!

 

Hugs,

Dawn

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Posted

Woohoo, that is wonderful, what a year you had :)

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Posted

Dawn, that's an absolutely awesome entry, it's not often that I hear so much happiness in a blog.

I see so many similarities with myself.

I truly feel the same way about the anti-trans pills....ugh horrible thought !

I was also 55 when I ditched my shame, and started to become myself, and there's no way on earth that I'm going back to be male, female is ssoooo much better, like coming out of a monochrome world and entering a technocolour world.

Hugs

Eve x

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Posted

Eve, are you joking?  (I hope so!)  Do anti-trans pills exist?  What kind of doctor would prescribe them?  Think they should lose their medical license, if you are serious!

Monica

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Posted

LOL, yes Monica, of course I was joking, Dawn referred to a magic pill that could un-trans her!:D

Eve x

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Posted

What I said was if  there was  "anti-trans" pill , when this all started for me last year I would have taken it in a heartbeat.

But today there's noway you could make to take one. There is no way you could force it down my throat. 

Hugs,

Dawn

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Posted

I sometimes think that somethings get lost between the boards of US and UK English, but just for the record, I do know that magic isn't real, and that magic pills don't exist :rolleyes: 

Maybe this is why I had difficulty when I had my first computer, and I was totally lost, trying to comprehend what Windows 95 menus actually meant in reality?

However the gaps between the planks seem to be getting narrower as time passes...............

Hugs from within the tower of babel,

Eve

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Posted

Hello Dawn - Looking at your first posts I have a similar experience - still not totally the same - but similar.  My therapist also told me she has me categorized as transgender, I am one of two, that I know she councils. Because of this she had told me it is OK to wear women's clothing that is more gender neutral to what I feel.  Also, I do wear a bra occasionally as I do have some natural breast. (Size B ) I would love to have a bra fit but Have not done this.  As you also talk about, I know my transgender part is inside me not just a sin I cannot control but actually part of who I am.  I will post more and look more at your blog when I have time.  Dawn (13)

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