"You're too sensitive."
I've heard that so many times in my life. Worse, I believe it.
I should not be hurt by rude people at work. I seem to be the only one who gets hurt. So no, I shouldn't be affected.
I should not like how I feel when I wear my dresses. After all, it's just cloth. A fabric of threads. And I'm not supposed to like them.
I should not be scared. Scared that people will discover how scared I am. Of being hurt.
I should not even write this here. After all, I'm a mod; mods don't cry.
"It's always all about you."
That hurts too. A lot. So if I didn't feel then it wouldn't hurt snd it would not have to be about me.
I should be happy, not sad. What have I got to be sad about? "I'll give you something to be sad about."
Shoulds suck. I should forget that word, delete it from my vocabulary. I like it when I feel my truegender. Inside and out. But it's just a feeling and I don't know if it's okay to feel. Is it? It doesn't seem like it.
My cursor gently blinks as I ponder clicking the Submit button. Maybe this is what blogs can be for. Sometimes to pour out my heart. Show the world that I feel. I don't like it and I don't know what to do with it but there it is.