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Surrendered to the Nyquil


Briannah

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I have a weird thing with cold meds.  I couldn't take any of them without risking a painful death when I was on my long term asthma medication, so I sort of developed a fear of them in general.  My brain makes important things habitiual so I don't forget when I'm half sleep or not paying attention.  So Nikki has to fight stupidly hard to get me to take them.  And of course, they are huge, my throat hurts, and damn near just choked myself. 

At least things with Nikki are going great.  We've settled into a comfortable environment for everyone involved, and things are going swimmingly.  We're still sorting through my tendency to big picture everything and his to narrow focus, but communication has gotten really good and we're learning.  For the spouses like me that stay, it's as much a period of change as the person talking the dysphoria.  So many things change for me too, and you really have to keep sight of balancing the needs of both.  If there's a secret to succesfully navigating this as a couple, that's it.  And as much openness as is feasible for a couple.  I Know some wives want to be completely out of it, but I couldn't be like that.  The known is so much less terrifying than the unknown.  Being included not only supports him, but it supports me.  He's happier than he's been in a long time.  Here's hoping the therapist will keep that going.  

And, of course, that i don't have pnumonia again.  If I don't feel significantly better tomorrow I"m going to the dang urgent care.  I don't have time for this crap.  I missed a gorgeous day!

WEll sorta anyway.  It was nearly sixty degrees!  SO AWESOME! I went out to lunch with Nikki, and you'd think I ran a marathon.  Wahtever this is has seriously damaged my internal energy production.  And now the scary Ohio wind has kicked up, and is finally caving in the neighbors scary chimney.  That has been falling for years and no one did anything about.  Here's hoping it doesn't break my house or our shed we have in the side yard. 

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Bree,

I love NyQuil, at least when I have a cold! Such a wonderful way to drift off into lala land... What a treat when one feels so crappy.

I'm delighted to hear that you and Nikki are doing so well. You are so right that Nikki's revelations and discoveries are affecting you as much or more than for him. You deserve and want warm hugs too. I think you're both right now in kind of a whirlwind. For Nikki it's such a tremendous relief to be accepted and not rejected. For you, maybe kind of the same although also on edge about what is right both for him and for you. I think what you will find is that over time you will both settle back into some more comfortable patterns. Maybe a bit different than before but comfortable nonetheless. 

So hold on tight to each other while also trusting that you'll be fine. I have a good feeling about you two.

Warm hugs and NyQuil,

Emma

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Thank you Emma.  It's so weird to be able to safely take it again.  Advair reacts adversely to the common medications in cold medicines, and it can get ugly, and I spent nearly a decade of my life taking that stuff.  Was worth it, my lung function improved dramatically.

And this plague is so bad even Supernikki who never gets sick is showing signs.  Seriously, he gets a cold like every three years.  I want his immune system genetics.

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Well it did take a hit when I had the radiation treatments and for like a year after got everything that came at me. My immune system has bounced back though and is ready to take it all on!  Except apparently this one. Which reminds me, time to take some of that Dayquil in case. 

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bravo with your communicating so well, supporting each other, and balancing your needs, even through being sick, which is such a challenge in itself. it seems like the dust is settling from the initial discovery shock and awe, and that there is much more security about your relationship and that you know each other so well, despite the one big new area, which means much less fear of the unknown. it's also great, kittennikki, that you are seem more content and less depressed since you can be yourself and perhaps closer than ever to bree. besides the relief and letting go of some big fears and inhibitions, maybe also making you feel better is the thrill or adventure of your new toys, clothes, explorations, and incredible acceptance and attention from bree in the most extraordinary ways. anyway, there's nothing like knowing you're loved and accepted!

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I think I'm getting better.  Throat doesn't hurt other than teh coughing.  Oh teh coughing.  I seem to be starting the clearing out phase, which I swear is so often worse than the actual illness.  :(  I'm going to lie down and hope that Nikki is well enough to feed me, and hope that tomorrow I am well enough to feed him for the next week as he progresses.  LUckily we are rarely both sick at the same time. 

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