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Just another trip!


Cyrsti

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Back to a time of confusion and loneliness and innocence.

I was on a simple journey across town when I saw a woman walking down a long drive to her mail box. For some reason my mind flipped back to the days when a trip to the mailbox in what makeup and clothes I could scratch together gave me my first tentative steps out the door as a girl.

The driveway became a different dimension. In reality it was probably about 75 yards, but during my walks it magically transformed into a mile or shortened to ten feet. If my distant neighbors happened to drive by it was the mile for sure! If I had just shaved my legs and wore a skirt, the journey was way too short!

This time of my life was similar to so many of you others. Al Gore had not yet invented the internet and I was fairly sure I was the only boy with my hobby.

Currently, so many of our blog posts are into life and death struggles with spouses HRT and the like. Why wouldn't they be? We didn't choose this particular aspect of ourselves to be so difficult and pervasive. It is a struggle!

But what was your magical moment of excitement of youth that you remember the most? A time before all of this got to be so difficult and demanding.

Maybe it was your first walk down that driveway or that first Halloween party. I'm sure that moment is one to remember!

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My moments came my freshman year of high school , I lived with my dad and his family ( step mom and half sister ) they ran a foster home and on weekends they would leave the house and me alone to enjoy My time in the house , my sisters clothes for the most part fit perfectly and what didn't I usually grabbed some thing from one of the foster girls stuff , I had all day to dress and do my chores I was in complete heaven , I didn't ever go out because of the tight nit nieborhood very christian and always peeking around the curtains to see what the neibors had going on you know the type but I was completely content staying inside just as long as I had ME time .... So calming and so necessary if I hadn't had that time I would not be here today , it was really getting that bad for me , It was back before the net so I had no information on this that now I have full understanding of ... I did have gay friends but they had no idea why I was and am the way I am so they were of no help back then I felt alone but I knew who I was and what made me happy so I simply did what I had to do to survive ....

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Stephanie,

What a great story. Thanks for sharing!

We lived a a rural area so the nearest house was a wooded lot away so being discovered was not so pressing.

In the immediate area around us there was only one girl. All boys. I often wonder if some of my total fascination with the female gender is from early deprivation! LOL

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