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Lonely


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In the thread, The Ladder, Monica expressed her desire to read the entire poem from which I took four lines to use in a post in that thread.

The poem doesn't flow very well - I just hammered out enough words at the time in an attempt to rid myself of the hurt I was feeling at the time.  I might have been trying to write thru tears in the middle third of the poem.  It wasn't until the last four lines that I was able to bring it all into some kind of statement --

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Oh, dear Michael, my friend,

You touch my heart. My heart aches with you. It's a long and winding road we travel. But with friends like you the journey is a blessing.

Warm hugs,

Emma

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Dear Michael,

Am deeply touched by your poem.  Sometimes, even when I am surrounded by millions of people, (as when I lived in NYC), I feel very lonely or alone.

All it takes is for me to find one person that I resonate with, which is so hard to find.

Even being in a loving relationship, one can feel lonely, when that person is not accessible.  

EVERYONE is lonely at times, even when they least expect it.  No one escapes at least occasional loneliness.  

Never had I seen such a touching poem about loneliness by a man!

Your friend,

Monica

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Hello Michael. Honey, Your Poem brought Me to tears. Michael, I've BEEN there, with ALL the Loneliness, and ALL the Sadness, that goes with it. Michael I have, in the Past, made 3 Serious Suicide Attempt's.    ( I Definitely Am NOT going down that Road, ever Again. ). Michael, Loneliness is NOT Funny. Loneliness IS Horrible. Michael, I hope that You are NOT Lonely Now. Michael, You ARE Among Friend's here, as We ALL are here. If You would Like to Talk, at Any Time, if You P.M. Me, I would Be more than Happy, to give You My Mobile Phone Number. Michael, You have like ALL The Moderator's/Friend's here, Always been Kind to Me. Michael, You ARE A Gentleman !  Speak Soon Honey, and Take Care. With My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xxxx 

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Thank you ladies.  Loneliness does indeed touch us all at times...but it's a little easier to shoulder when there are people like you all around.  Maybe if I had been here on TG Guide back then, that poem might never have been written.  I've considered TG Guide like a haven online.  I was "sheltered" so to speak by the woman who invited me here from another transgender site.  Over time, she has faded into the background, but not before I learned from her how to moderate.  She doesn't come around so often anymore...in fact, very rarely.  Over time it's people like you all who have filled the void.  As I'm sure you all know, acceptance means nearly everything, and for the most part, I have always felt accepted as the man that life outside of this forum doesn't even know exists.

"Never had I seen such a touching poem about loneliness by a man!"  -Monica
LOL... I guess it doesn't matter if a guy is transgender or cisgender, too many of us have a tendancy to keep things bottled up.  I never realized it, but my g/f has addressed this with me on several occasions, and even my own brother has expressed a concern about it.  But I guess every once in a while if the moon and stars are lined up just right, that bottle gets opened up, and all kinds of stuff comes pouring out. 

Love all of ya's
- Michael

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Oh Michael, the girl inside me is bringing tears of hurt.  I don't know how lonely I felt when before becoming transgender title I carry with me, but it different kind of loneliness. The missing of family, or community and being in the wrong country for homesickness etc.  But I have overcome my loneliness.  Since I have been transgender i always enjoy logging on to the tg guide forums as I certainly feel building a bond with regulars other tg folks, and it's great!  

Ooh I didn't put my nail polish on hands for 6 days I feel like man hmm

Edited by cross2play
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TG Guide has been my "home away from home" also.  It's very rare that I don't sign in.  And yes, I feel bonds with people here too.  It is comforting to know that I can come here and read posts and makes post knowing that most everyone here understands most everyone else.  There is little judgementalness, and there is always someone with an encouraging word, or a sympathetic word.

Ooh... and nail polish does not the woman make.  That's in your heart.  The polish is just so much window dressing  ;)

-Michael

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Just a hug.  Loneliness is one of the hardest things, and I'm happy to be here for you if you enjoy  my company.  :)  Feel free to pm me for more direct contact info if you'd like.  :)

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Mike,

I remembered just now that you'd started a blog and came over for a look see, and glad I did. Your poem speaks to me just now in a deep way. I really appreciate coming across it.

And no nail polish on me. I'm a woman in my heart and soul. Pretty on the inside and all that. :P

Emma

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