Kitrah

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Authentic

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People wonder why it's hard to transition. Believing the lie is more convenient. I deal everyday with friends who refuse to change their mind because they are still hanging onto idea that who I really am is not what they believe. I think this like when people meet tv personality or movie star. That what the version is. 

Why does it matter to me if other going validate or not. I think about this a lot. It matter because other people are saying it's irrelevant. This not big deal except when it's your friends and family. 

Validation an area where some people say who care what people think, be yourself. But when being yourself seem to be counterproductive you just  mask the pain. 

My situation also not great. Lack of money or work make things more difficult. This just adds to the stress by forcing me to be dependent on other people. And now after having surgery I'm more stressed because I can't lift anything and the pain really have left me a mess.  I think when I healed I just going to sell all my stuff, get a ticket and leave America. Met some new people and leave this and the people who are dragging me down.

 


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Posted

Hey Kitrah, sorry you're having a tough time, especially with your family and friends. That, combined with money worries, is a heavy load to carry. I wish I had something helpful to offer. You seem to be thinking it all through very well. Maybe the best thing to do is try to stay patient, heal and get over your physical pain, and keep recording your options. At some point a new path will open for you to try out. Maybe that will be to move out of the US. Or maybe to another area or state. 

Best wishes to you. I'll be thinking of you.

Emma

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Kitrah,

I echo Emma in saying that I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. Experiencing pain from surgery can certainly magnify anything else that's going on around you, so I hope that your pain will subside soon!

The fact that you keep pushing through despite the pain and without the full support of family and friends says a lot about your strength! It is important for us all to know who we are and what we need, but validation from others does help, I hope that you get some of that on this site and hopefully you'll find other people in your life who will offer it as well.

xoxo

Chrissy

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Hi Chrissy and Emma,

Thanks for encouragement. Validation is something hard to achieve sometime. right now im not concern what other people thinking i just try to focus on what it is that i need to be doing for myself. I try to focus more on positive energy and meditation right now.

Kitrah

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Prior to transitioning there were times where I could not validate a move forward course of action so I know it can be difficult but once you (can) get past the naysayers validation is easier. If one can't get past naysayers and must struggle with those people and finances can lead down a dark path. What I've seen locally to new friends who were on the fence about any form of transitioning, after having serious discussions with me in regards to the commitment and mindset coupled with proper therapy was a change of heart from being unsure to an affirmative path to which direction to move towards be it part time, full time (no surgeries or just hormones) to moving forward with the entire transformation to the gender they feel they should had been.

I can't fathom struggles with finances other than flipping the entire bill along and feel for you. I do know of less than a handful of transgender people that are moving forward with some form of government or   employment aid yet both seem to take forever to advance towards one's goals. This is so similar to things like dental insurance where what one really needs insurance does little or nothing to assist.

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