so im at 7 months now. i feel great physical but emotional im depressed, lonely, sad. i been doing this transition without support network pretty much alone since i start. i am have a hard time wanting to or trying to integrate into society since job loss. things just keep getting more isolated for me. still dressing as a man in public but i standing out a lot more. my face and skin has soften, my anger is gone, i keep looking out for someone like me but dealing w unemployment and looking for friends who are living similar life to me just make me seem like baggage and problem. i dont know what i doing. i am pretty much go through female puberty now. so many changes to liste i cant even summarise where my mind at. i dont know whether im losing strength in the ocean or afraid to get in the water. i feel like my soul getting ripped in half because i cant give it what it needs. with all this going on im not suicidal, just scared im not going find a way to a meaningful life. having to fight a public perception is like swimming with sharks. i dont regret what im doing, wish i had done it sooner. its just going all the way and not getting stuck in the gender fluid ocean. maybe some are ok w that but it not what i want.