I’m exhausted. It’s ben one thing after other today. Sometimes when I’m talking I feel like everone has me on mute. Like I’m stupid an airhead. I feel like I’m on this ship, making all this compromises, trying to be heard and no one listening. When I get louder so do everone else and when I’m upset, why r u yelling.
Im terrified. Like being stuck with bad driver everyday. Your like please don’t put us in the ditch pay attention. So in sense That’s the control I have.
im on the ship at sea. I’m not the captain and the only thing I do is pray there’s no typhoon.
i get whole supporting role thing cuz you got to trust this other persons decisions and I am about had it with this. Say your not afraid to eat alone cuz that’s going be one uncooked meal.
Day after day do things your way. Fine but I’m not appreciated. Tell me I’m scare the meal ticket going run out one more time. Yea I’m not happy w this living arrangement cuz I’m doing things I never thought I do and saying things I shouldn’t say. Put me back on mute. No I’m just wear my own headphones. Only when I’m quiet I get what’s wrong.
What u want me spill the beans? I can’t say what I want. I just keep going. Just one task after the other. I’m not insensitive. That’s u. I’m not bullying that’s u. I can’t show my emotion. Just continue live out whatever part I’m suppose to play.
I can take the abuse. I’m made for it, but u better try to remember my real name. It’s Kitrah. I’m not a bitch. I’m one who cook and serve your meals and do laundry and run errands and have no say what happens. I constantly write my life around this so I’m not on streets.
My name mean something. It all I got. And u and everone else not going use it like a dirty word. That how u make me feel.