So I guess I been fighting flu maybe pneumonia for past few weeks and final starting to clear. I alway feel like something more to do but I been so tired. Just ended a friendship today. I’m tired of people giving this emotionless set of direction on what I need be doing. Rather than see myself go in circle against brick wall I just say I’m done. Don’t call no more. If u can’t be heard what the point. If your views so different why keep fighting. It been quiet rest of day.
The person I live w I can’t share thing with cuz they not listening half the time so it’s pretty much been bad day. I realize I’m trapped in a situation that making transition not fun and making me hate being force back into male role and male idenity.
I find myself isolating more. I can’t seem identify or pull myself together so I spend time fantasize about girl in my head who I want be if I not living this life.
I think about be reincarnated is it going be right next time. Am I going have friends. Or is going be another empty life.
My goal this life just simple. I want full transition and fully dress as woman all time and be par of society with my own relationship. Someone I like and like thing I do.
I pretty much all girl. I just want to get surgery over w so can heal and have normal life. I don’t want this be some weird thing. If I have be alone I chose itmover be w someone who like yea your not a real girl. Cuz I am. I just have keep play this male role cuz it make everone comfortable. It not mattering it doesn’t fit or I look adrgynous. Only that I man up.
Sorry I’m not loud rude big mouth who walk around scratch belch fart.