Jump to content
Transgender Guide Message Board

Kitrah

Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    16
  • comments
    67
  • views
    1,496

Maybe

Sign in to follow this  
Kitrah

147 views

So I guess I been fighting flu maybe pneumonia for past few weeks and final starting to clear. I alway feel like something more to do but I been so tired. Just ended a friendship today. I’m tired of people giving this emotionless set of direction on what I need be doing. Rather than see myself go in circle against brick wall I just say I’m done. Don’t call no more. If u can’t be heard what the point. If your views so different why keep fighting. It been quiet rest of day. 

The person I live w I can’t share thing with cuz they not listening half the time so it’s pretty much been bad day. I realize I’m trapped in a situation that making transition not fun and making me hate being force back into male role and male idenity. 

I find myself isolating more. I can’t seem identify or pull myself together so I spend time fantasize about girl in my head who I want be if I not living this life. 

I think about be reincarnated is it going be right next time. Am I going have friends. Or is going be another empty life. 

My goal this life just simple. I want full transition and fully dress as woman all time and be par of society with my own relationship. Someone I like and like thing I do. 

I pretty much all girl. I just want to get surgery over w so can heal and have normal life. I don’t want this be some weird thing. If I have be alone I chose itmover be w someone who like yea your not a real girl. Cuz I am. I just have keep play this male role cuz it make everone comfortable. It not mattering it doesn’t fit or I look adrgynous. Only that I man up. 

Sorry I’m not loud rude big mouth who walk around scratch belch fart. 

Sign in to follow this  


1 Comment


Recommended Comments

Dear Kitrah,

Sorry to hear about how you’re feeling. I’ve been depressed and felt like that many times and it sucks. 

I think it’s very common for trans people to wish to transition quickly and live our authentic lives. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just take a pill or something? I suppose you’ve heard that we bring along our emotional baggage when we transition. I sure have and wondered how much I’d bring. For me, I found that this is quite true. I’m certainly happier and more content living my authentic self but my emotional scars and thinking patterns remain. 

Perhaps you can start dressing and presenting as the woman you are now? Or take a smaller step? Enjoy the coming out. It’s very liberating.

Emma

  • Like 2

Share this comment


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×