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Two year anniversary

KarenPayne

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It’s been exactly two years to the day since gender confirmation surgery. Looking back over the past two years I’ve notice as time rolls by (especially in the past six months) I’ve assimilated well into my new life.

I have, and not a conscious decision becoming removed from online forums that focus on the LGBT community yet still locally involved with a group in town and in Portland. Why bring this up? Over the years I’ve heard that many who transition physically will distance themselves from the LGBT community and now from experience believe that (at least in my case) it’s not always distancing oneself from the community but simply settling into the new life. I’ve never been or will be that type of person who distances themselves from the community for any reasons other than subconscious reasons of feeling comfortable in my new life.

Back at Christmas time I went on a dinner cruise (see image below) with a local Portland Oregon group known as the Rose City Girls where I’ve only met a handful before attending the dinner. I was amazed that at the girls I chatted with a dinner whom I had not met before all thought I was a cisgender female. One of the girls I met five or so years earlier didn’t even recognize me from five years ago until I told her and she said that I had changed a good deal and still was not sure I was that cross-dresser from years past. So that really confirms that I took the right path in life by making the decision to physically transition.

Do I have any regrets? My thought had been, wish I had transitioned ten or more years ago yet what if I did, where would I be right now? Better not to think too much about this and simply move forward as the past is the past and nothing can change it. 

Profession wise this month I went from a position at one state agency to another state agency one block down the road. Only the CIO know my former identity as she once worked at my former agency and had asked me two years ago to come work for them but the time was not right until the first of this month.

Dinner.jpg



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Congratulations, Karen. I agree that it's best to appreciate and learn from our more recent past and look forward to the future. There are always so many things that we would have done differently "had we only known" but that is the way life is, we don't know what we don't know. 

I actually had dinner with the Rose City Girls last May. I am pretty sure I recognize the woman in the lower right of your photo but I can't recall her name. All were very nice and welcoming, and I seriously contemplated relocating to the Portland area,

I've had opportunities to join similar groups in Seattle and I haven't. It's not that I look down upon or feel superior to crossdressers at all. As far as I'm concerned they have equal membership in the transgender community to any of us. I'd say it's more about having a common social ground. I love to get dressed up but I also feel comfortable and happy wearing skinny jeans and a top from REI, which I did last night to an annual women's clothing warehouse sale by a local consignment shop. (You wouldn't believe what I scored for $50!) We had wine and snacks before they cut the tape to open the race to the racks and tables.  Everyone was delightful to me before, during, and after. That's how I love living my life. I'm sure I don't pass particularly but that doesn't seem to matter.

I remember when you were planning to go to Dr. Marci Bowers' office in Burlingame, how you'd planned it all out. It sounded pretty scary to me especially as I was still about a year away from even coming out as trans. I don't know if I'll need or opt for GCS. These days I'm more interested in my early  progress on HRT (I see my doc this Wednesday. Yay!) and getting through electrolysis. God, that's so painful for me. I am very well hydrated but each darned hair hurts like hell when she zaps it. Yesterday afternoon I was only able to stand it for an hour and a half (we'd had a 2.5 hour session planned) and I was bummed out about that. But, that opened up time for me to make it to the warehouse sale so it's all good.

Take care and best wishes, Karen,

Emma

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Thanks for sharing Karen. I have heard similar stories from other ladies too. I look forward to the day when I am post transition and hope I can say the same. Big hugs. X

 

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Dear Karen, Emma and Chantal,

Not only have I heard this about those who successfully transitioned dropping out of the T/LGB community as they make associations based on common interests rather than seeking out others simply for transitioning, but I also see this among Lesbians, usually after they find a committed relationship.

In the case of the transwoman, I think it is a HEALTHY reason, while in the case of the Lesbians, it is because of insecurity, because healthy relationships are so difficult to find.

Living in a place that gives you MANY OPPORTUNITIES and CHOICES is key!

Your friend,

Monica

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Congratulations, Karen. I agree that it's best to appreciate and learn from our more recent past and look forward to the future. There are always so many things that we would have done differently "had we only known" but that is the way life is, we don't know what we don't know. 

I actually had dinner with the Rose City Girls last May. I am pretty sure I recognize the woman in the lower right of your photo but I can't recall her name. All were very nice and welcoming, and I seriously contemplated relocating to the Portland area,

I've had opportunities to join similar groups in Seattle and I haven't. It's not that I look down upon or feel superior to crossdressers at all. As far as I'm concerned they have equal membership in the transgender community to any of us. I'd say it's more about having a common social ground. I love to get dressed up but I also feel comfortable and happy wearing skinny jeans and a top from REI, which I did last night to an annual women's clothing warehouse sale by a local consignment shop. (You wouldn't believe what I scored for $50!) We had wine and snacks before they cut the tape to open the race to the racks and tables.  Everyone was delightful to me before, during, and after. That's how I love living my life. I'm sure I don't pass particularly but that doesn't seem to matter.

I remember when you were planning to go to Dr. Marci Bowers' office in Burlingame, how you'd planned it all out. It sounded pretty scary to me especially as I was still about a year away from even coming out as trans. I don't know if I'll need or opt for GCS. These days I'm more interested in my early  progress on HRT (I see my doc this Wednesday. Yay!) and getting through electrolysis. God, that's so painful for me. I am very well hydrated but each darned hair hurts like hell when she zaps it. Yesterday afternoon I was only able to stand it for an hour and a half (we'd had a 2.5 hour session planned) and I was bummed out about that. But, that opened up time for me to make it to the warehouse sale so it's all good.

Take care and best wishes, Karen,

Emma

Thanks Emma! Regarding the Rose City Girls member in the lower right-hand corner of the phot, I don’t know her name, only met her twice before. They are a very active group but I don’t get out with them much simply because they are generally doing things during the week were it’s an hour drive each way for me. Cass the leader of the group comes down to Salem on the third Saturday of each month to join in with a local group in Salem and we have a great time Cass is and great and interesting person who does all of the organization for the group. Last Halloween she opened her home to the group, supplied everything along with allowing anyone to stay overnight so they didn’t have to worry about driving home because of drinking or (as 99 percent are) they are crossdressers that have a hard time sneaking back home.

Regarding electrolysis, if the person performing this on you is not using the blend technique you might ask them about it. For me it was less painful. The kicker is that the blend technique is not the best for every single area of the face. My technician had two machines and would switch between them depending on what part of my face she was working on. What I thought was interesting is that the face is actually more painful then between the legs, at least for me.

Over the past year I’ve had my underarms done (well 90 percent) and going back in May to finish up. Had to stop because of a) shifting job positions at my workplace of 22 years, got disgusted with it and jumped ship to another agency one block away and with that had to put the underarms to the side.

In regards to having GCS, it’s always been my believe that it’s not for everyone.  If my dysphoria was not so bad I would had foregone surgery and breast augmentation and with that placed the money in the bank for retirement yet I could not live life without those surgeries.

Several weeks ago I crossdresser told several of us she was wondering why she even dressed anymore as she believes she is fine not crossdressing after doing so for over ten years.

I know several others who are borderline in regards to GCS and encourage them to take it slow as we all know you can’t reverse the surgery.

Going the route you are sounds like an excellent path.

PS I was wanting to meet you when there for surgery.

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Thanks for sharing Karen. I have heard similar stories from other ladies too. I look forward to the day when I am post transition and hope I can say the same. Big hugs. X

 

​I truly believe the average person who goes through surgery and lives life as they should have will (as it did with me) take time to realize these things, it's a great feeling. If nothing else, I get out with a local group of crossdressers once a month and recently been pushing to have them get out of their comfort zone. Why do I mention this? Because when the day comes after your transition if possible it's a decent idea to mentor someone who has walked in your shoes.

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Dear Karen, Emma and Chantal,

Not only have I heard this about those who successfully transitioned dropping out of the T/LGB community as they make associations based on common interests rather than seeking out others simply for transitioning, but I also see this among Lesbians, usually after they find a committed relationship.

In the case of the transwoman, I think it is a HEALTHY reason, while in the case of the Lesbians, it is because of insecurity, because healthy relationships are so difficult to find.

Living in a place that gives you MANY OPPORTUNITIES and CHOICES is key!

Your friend,

Monica

​Hi Monica, I agree in regards to living in a place that give you many opportunities.

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