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Baby Steps


MichelleLea

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It has been a while since I have been here, so I need to bring this blog up-to-date. I think I was in the process of selling my house when I last wrote. We went to closing on October 2, so that is a done deal. In the meanwhile, I bought an older mobile home in a 55+ senior park and am completing my second month here. At this writing, all is going well, and I am happy with my decisions. The park is safe and quiet. Well, I am somewhat near the railroad tracks, but I have gotten used to the trains. The bed does rumble a little when the trains go by, but it's like having a vibrating bed, and I have gotten used to it. The neighbours are nice, and pretty much keep to themselves which I appreciate being somewhat of a recluse. I actually feel more comfortable wearing more feminine clothing in my early morning outings with my puppies. I do run into an occasional fellow dog walker, but it's dark and early and nobody seems to mind at that hour. 

So, this brings me to my news for the day. As I may have mentioned, I have been a secret cross-dresser, transgender sissy for all my life. During this past year since my wife died, I have been able to express myself more fully at home which has been good, but I still present male to the outside world. That will probably be the case for the foreseeable future as I would have a hard time at t his point working as a female. I'm just not ready. But, I do have some female friends from my previous work at PACE Center for Girls. I had lunch with two of them last year, and today, we met again for lunch. I made up my mind, that I would let them know that I had a feminine side and was transgender. I was somewhat nervous and apprehensive about doing it, but I needed to be open and honest with them about my true self. As it turned out, they were very accepting and sympathetic, and I felt so relieved to finally open up to the outside world. We hope to meet again soon as we all had a good time. Next time, I will officially be one of the "girls." Maybe even do a little dressing. They already want to call me Michelle. What fun!

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Congratulations are in order. I know well the feelings you’re expressing, of secretly cross dressing. I bristle a bit at your calling yourself a sissy. That’s such a slur, that is demeaning and doesn’t apply to you.

Good on you for coming out to your PACE friends. It feels good to be authentic, doesn’t it? Slow steps, no rush. But continue to push against your boundaries. Regardless of where you need to be (e.g., transitioning) we owe it to ourselves to come into our own and be ourselves. We only have this one life to live.

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Okay, jeans?...Love the sissyboys, but don't care for skinny jeans, my legs and thighs lost too much fat with my weight lose, and they really look skinny in skinny jeans. Still need butt and hip pads, can't wait till I won't!  Have several jeans, very comfortable in warmer weather, and just knocking around.  Have had too keep downsizing though; I won't buy more until I round out my body😉. Like to wear them with cotton camis, or sweaters or loose polos, and flats, sandals, or sneakers. Have several dress slacks, too, fit and look beautiful and go really well with Chelsea and Pintuck blouses, have about 10 of those, different styles and colors. Also skirts to the knee or an inch above or below. Mostly pencil skirts and some flare skirts. even a leather pencil skirt!😉  Don't have too many clothes with patterns, just some, but mostly like solid colors. Have three dress suits, like you would wear to a board meeting, which I just LOVE!❤️❣️. One red, one black, one grey.(and shoes to match)😍  As far as dresses, mostly the type you would wear to work in an office, but have a nice selection and some knock around day dresses.  A couple of flimsy and frilly ones which I like, but would never ever wear out!  Even have my gown for The First Event gala coming up!💜.Now, that is stunning!!!! Only tried it on once about 6 weeks ago when I first got it and scared the heck out of me...almost couldn't take it off. You'll have to go First Event to see it😍 Very simple, but elegant.

My boy clothes???? 3 pairs of pants, identical.  5 open collar pullover shirts, identical, white soxs, identical, haha😆

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I know, I've had forty or fifty years to figure my style. But I'm way behind you in the one thing that counts! Maybe we'll catch up with each other at the same time. I never had as much before, that I purged, but one thing I'm sure of now is that these are keepers and the rest will follow🏆

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Oops, I did it again? At 76, I'm really not sure how cute I am, but I liked how it felt. I can send a picture if you want.

I think I mentioned that I am going to see my sister this Thursday, and my intention is to come out to her. It's time, whatever the consequences, but I am reasonably sure that she will be sympathetic. I will let you know.

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I received two gift cards from my ultra conservative step-daughter and her boyfriend. I told her that I was going to buy some clothes that I needed--like a new pair of pants, a shirt, and a sweater. Well, I did--a pair of palazzo pants, a sweater dress, and a satin blouse. Close enough, don't you think?

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I saw my sister today and told her that I was trans. She was lovely. Lots of questions. Now she plans to find out more on her own. She told me that she always wanted a sister. Wasn't that sweet? Feeling good tonight. 

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On 11/22/2018 at 5:55 PM, MichelleLea said:

I saw my sister today and told her that I was trans. She was lovely. Lots of questions. Now she plans to find out more on her own. She told me that she always wanted a sister. Wasn't that sweet? Feeling good tonight. 

WOW!!! 

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