2011 here we are. Hope everyone had a safe and happy new year and I hope everyone is still doing good with your new years resolutions. I broke one of the two of mine already but o well no big deal lol.

Anyways this year will be a BIG year for me, much better planned out than last year. I really thought it through and while it felt like this tide was moving me along in my transition, I feel more in control now and happy about my transition. Now Im just playing the waiting game. Im not waiting for any certain life events, well i guess i am, im just waiting for my hair to grow out more so i won't need to wear a wig out. Come march I am going to be coming out to my work and telling them im trans and working with my job to hopefully be able to work as a girl, be a girl full time and finally feeling right all the time. After all I'm not going to have much choice come summer. Cuz the longer I am on hormones, the more my body will be changing and soon I won't be able to hid the changes.

This is one of the last seemingly impossible hurdles to accomplish in my transition. I know that there will be a lot of hardships inbetween but when it comes to transitioning there are 5 early stages that are the hardest to overcome, #1 coming out to family, #2 coming out to spouse, #3 starting the transitioning process, #4 coming out to work, #5 start living full time. Except for the last two I have already acomplished the others and am ready to start my life living as a woman.

I realized one thing though in the last couple of months I have been stuck working two jobs trying to pay for everything, Im currently stuck in apartment that is a lot more than i wanted to spend per month but that will end soon so I may be able to quit one job and still be fine, or keep both and finally be able to start more savings and be able to afford more things and save for srs. But thats not the point, I haven't had much of a chance to talk to my tg friends so i've made up for that by going online and chatting in my fav chat rooms. Let me tell you (and this is a good learning tip for all other transpeople looking for support) be aware of who you are talking to. The majority of men in chat rooms are mostly just looking sex. Even a lot of the "trans" people in the chat rooms, are normally their to try and hook up with trans girls. I put trans in quotation marks cuz a lot of times it seems to me like men posing as tgs to get more of a chance to chat with you. Its really tough to deal with sometimes. Like just the other day I had a rough day, my brother sent me an email telling me how much he hates the fact im trans and wondering why im hurting the family like that. Which really hurt my feelings and i needed to be comforted. Well one of the guys, who i thought was nice, was chatting with me and to cheer me up sent me a picture of his.........well man part. I didn't know how to react and i was upset and felt really bad about myself like he knows im suffering and still only cares about his own sex drive more than me. Later i was talking to another supposed nice guy who was starting to be supportive, then asked what i was up to, what i was wearing, was i wearing a bra, and if he could get a picture of me in my bra. Again i was angry and felt horrible about myself. So I thought I would post this, not just to rant or complain, but to help other trans girls and boys out there who are looking for people to talk to and warn them whos out there.

Anyways I am doing great, life on hormones is fantastic and I am hoping to restart electrolysis in february. Hope everyone is going well. Don't be afraid to message me anytime or check out my vids on youtube, the link is in my profile.

<3

tiff