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A blog by MayaZ in General

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Taking Another Step

MayaZ

Entry posted by MayaZ

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I've been taking baby-steps. It's only fair, really. I'm on unfamiliar terrain composed of material I've never even encountered before. It's as different as concrete and the womb, so yes, I'm taking baby-steps. I've fallen and cried and cried for fear that nobody would pick me up and that I would not be able to pick myself up, but I've survived so far somehow, which gives me the courage to take another step.

Today, I completed the screening process for therapy at Howard Brown. They said it would be $20 a week, which is much more than I can afford, but I'm going to find a way. They suggested I speak with a therapist who deals not only with gender issues, but also substance abuse, and I felt a little lighter still. There may yet be hope.

Thanks again to everyone here at TGGuide for supporting me through these rough times. Maybe I'll be able to walk side by side with you soon. Even if it takes years, I'll be proud to do so and I'll never forget how I got walking in the first place.

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MayaZ

Hi MayaZ,

There is no time limit and we will always be here to help you however we can.

hugs

Bonnie

Thanks, Bonnie! While there is no time limit, I do get worried about a thing I read in a study on child development which said that children are least emotionally hurt by a parent's transition when they are younger children or when they are in their 20's. Since my son is 4 right now, I worry that if I don't manage to get started on my transition within the next couple of years, I'll feel obliged to wait an additional 15 - 20 years. I know that others have done exactly that, but it's terrifying to me, with all that time laying ahead.

On a positive note, to update on the situation in the entry, I met with a substance abuse counselor at Howard Brown who would like to meet with me once a week FOR FREE! She said it's not going to be limited to discussions about substance abuse, but that that program will be good for helping me work on coping.

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