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Amber is born


amberg

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I have felt passionately about a lot of things before but never could gather the will to sit down and write a blog, but this is coming so naturally. Its as almost as natural as my recent realization that I am actually a woman. I found this site today and I thought it was great that TGGuide.com was encouraging their members to write blogs, and what perfect timing because I just began my journey to becoming the best woman I can be. I have already realized that I will make a much better woman than a man. Don't worry, I will explain.

Let me give you a quick background about myself so that you have an understanding of who I am. I am a 36 year old that just realized I was born a woman, but has a penis and all the male features of a man. I will admit that I am kind of a pretty face and I hope to leverage that as I go through my transformation. You could say that I used to be an alpha-male, and I probably was.

This is going to sound unbelievable and I expect people to doubt this, but I swear its the truth! On the morning of December 8, 2012, I woke up and I felt completely different. I went online and I started looking at lingerie, cute panties, bras, and stockings. I couldn't stop looking at them and kept dreaming and fantasizing about wearing them until I reached orgasm. So, OK, usually right after something unusual like this you hit "post-orgasm depression,"...like, "What was that all about?...this was just a quick fantasy, right? The next morning, without any conscious effort, I went to the bathroom and shaved everything from my waist to my upper legs. I had to go to work and I kept looking at all kinds of women's clothing, from professional attire to sexy and slutty outfits. Without even thinking about it, I ordered 9 pairs of panties, some bandeau tops, stockings, etc.. None of these items have even arrived yet, so I hope I don't disappoint readers by telling you the truth that I haven't even worn a set of heels yet....but believe me, I am looking for nice sets of heels whenever I am not looking at all kinds of other clothing.

So the next day, I masturbate to women's clothes a couple of times and I am in awe of everything feminine. So then I have a couple of orgasms and so maybe I am over this little "phase" I am going through now that I have had a release. Quite the opposite! I started noticing everything about every woman I saw...and all of the things I used to look at a certain way, I was no longer focusing my attention on. I didn't care what her ass looked like, I wanted to know what my ass would look like in her jeans. I wanted the man she was with to be looking at me and undressing me with his eyes. Instead of subconsciously comparing myself to him, I was comparing myself to her. These feelings intensified for over 4 days and they have not let up a bit. I have done nothing with my free time but look at clothes, heels, wigs, TG forums, information about hormones, cosmetics, breast forms, etc.. Today I went online and bought lipstick, a cute pink mirror, tons of body wax, and perfume. I would have got some nails and eyelashes but I have no idea how to do any of that stuff....maybe you guys can help. I found some of the coolest TS/TG clothing sites, one which is called, suddenlyfem.com....that just really happens to explain how I feel this week...and I LOVE IT!...I am beyond obsessed right now. This is my life!

So I mentioned at the beginning of my blog that I realized that I will make a much better woman than a man. Since my discovery just a few days ago, I also noticed over that time, that I was a better person inside and out. I was not the angry grouch that I was before, I was now this beautiful, classy woman! I was much more patient with people and more understanding and I was able to communicate with people much better. I couldn't believe the changes I was noticing in myself...and I could tell that it was because I had fully accepted the fact that I am a woman. I would like to know if anyone else has ever experienced something similar....because I found it fascinating. All I know, is that I know who I am now, and I am ecstatic that I made this discovery. I cannot wait to begin the journey to becoming a woman in terms of how I look and act. When no one is looking, I am already practicing my mannerisms, how I stand, how I sit, how I walk, the things I say, how I say them...everything! I can already tell that this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know there is a long way to go and there is a lot that needs to be dealt with but I am embracing all of those challenges.

Today, after looking at clothes and all kinds of TG/TS forums and support sites for 9 hours or so, I made another big step, I gave myself a name and created a new identity for myself at facebook, twitter, gmail, etc.. My name, Amber, sounds somewhat similar to a name I was once given and I think it fits me, and it will fit my looks as I get further and further along my transition. Amber was officially born on 12/12/12.

So I am already wondering, "how far will I transition?" because I can already see my future. I am going all the way until I can live like a woman in my personal and professional life, but I have no desire to go through SRS, whatsoever...but you never know, that could change, too. After all, I never saw this coming. All I know, is that I am moving forward as a new person and a beautiful woman.

I really hope to get lots of encouragement, advice, and support from people. I think its awesome that I could start this blog now right as I have made this discovery and I hope to keep this going for a really long time. I need your support and encouragement and I will definitely need advice on what steps to take next and what I am doing right or wrong. You can expect my advice and support for whatever I am in a position to give. I would really like to hear from others who can relate to my experiences because I am still trying to fully understand how I made this discovery...and I am kind of upset that I didn't realize this much sooner, because I already feel amazing now that I have discovered and accepted the fact I am really a woman. I have really enjoyed sharing my experience with you in this blog and I hope to share much more.

Amber is born!

See you tomorrow,

Kisses,

Amber

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Amber -

Great story, thanks for sharing. I too am going thru the same set of emotions. I'm a little different though in that I'm in my early 40's now and have been crossdressing since I was 8 or 9. But I've been a total jerk to the people I love most and now for really no reason, and now I know the source of my frustration and anger. I want to join a support group in person for now, and then bring in my SO when I feel ready to take the leap. I'm not feeling like taking it to the point of SRS either, but everything else feels right. For me, I'm not attracted to boys at all, but very much attracted to girly girls and TG. Anyway, hope you have a great day and continue to enjoy your journey! xoxo, Devon

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