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How many times have you been mistaken as a girl


Dawn13

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Last week I was called Mam four times. Even had one restaurant employee say " Welcome ladies - how are you doing" as I entered his restaurant. I have given up correcting people, actually kind of like how it makes me feel. A month ago in boy mode I was at a sports expo and had stopped at a booth selling shoe inserts. The shop/booth owner was busy and asked one of his workers to "please help this woman" I could not believe myself - how feminine I must have looked to him. (Really was not trying) Yesterday, I had two women runners make commits on my shaved legs "how are they were so perfect" and "perfect looking legs"

Have any of you all had these kind of comments - even when in boy mode?

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Wow... lately people approaching me from behind, have been calling me "Ma'am".... often... like 3 times last week alone, since my hair is a lot longer, and legs are always shaved. I wear shorter shorts than most men, *and many women... lol .. Mid-thigh shorts or higher, I prefer higher, the shorter the better for me... I am liking it a lot.. but makes for some "awkward" moments... I like it though... says I'm doing something right... I don't go out "en femme" really, anymore.. just more feminine. Tonight though, I think I will push it more with short jean skirt, pantyhose, lipstick, heels, and painted toes.. It is a meeting that I go to, that is T-girl or crossdresser friendly, an LGBT group, sort of... I like to dress like that, and it is one of the few opportunities I have available, without shocking all of my family and friends...

 

Great Item - see response below - Dawn

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Reposted from "Being Transgender not a Mental Disorder"

So difficult to sort out the feelings versus the male body I have underneath.  Three days ago, I just was talking to one of my best girl friends when we were at a running expo - she was part of a staff selling running skirts when I stopped at her booth.  "I told her it was so unfair." (That men - feminine looking men like me - are ostracized when openly wanting to wear a cute stylish shirt in a race or run).  She showed me a new product that they finally have developed. A collet short for men made of the same fabric as the shirt/s and almost a skirt in form.  I bought one of these with a matching unisex headband.  She actually got the same matching skirt so at some point we hope to get a picture of us both together wearing our matching outfits.

The real point is even though I go to counceling about my being transgender - there is definitely something inside of me that goes beyond my desire to be a straight male in thought and body.  Over time I have actually become more feminine in looks to better accommodate my feelings; I now have very long hair, two earrings I wear all of the time, a weight closer to that of a women allowing me to wear junior's shorts and tops; some new breast tissue to the point I now can and actually need to wear my new sports bras.  Still I go out primarily as a male as I did in a recent running race. I remember at the race a girl runner actually saying as she walked by in a hearable voice to another runner.  Isn't that a woman (Looking at me).  Other guy friend said - no its a man.

I am now happier in my own skin.  My therapist told me it is OK to wear unisex items and girls items, shorts/tops, that are kind of unisex.  She did tell me that I should not wear a skirt because of what it appears to do to my mind.  But again - this is really who I am, a girl, in my mind.  Dawn

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My recent gender bender.  Went to my hair stylist a couple of weeks ago wearing all women's wear including a bra. (My stylist also does my pedicures and waxes my eyebrows)  She told me my hair was now finally long and was longer than most of her women customers as women currently coming to her are now getting shorter cuts.  About her she has always been a tall muscular woman.  Much heaver than me.  She commented that it looked like I had 'lost weight" and that she liked my turquois "earrings"  I said I did not think so since I had seen her last.  Then I started to think she could see my bra straps or that she knew I was transgender.  After she draped me in pink we got into a discussion of fitness and she told me she had increased her weight lifting to as much as two hours a day.  She asked me to feel her bicep and I did and it was both large and hard.  I said you can "feel mine" and she did.  'Soft' was her comment. Then she said it was "OK" and that she was going to make me beautiful and she did. She gave me a very nice feminine haircut; matching my outfit.  When I saw my image when she was done I actually felt I was passable as a woman leaving her salon.  The attached photo was taken after the visit; me in a dress.  Dawn

Dawn relaxing 1a.jpg

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Wow! Today. I was at Dicks Sporting Goods looking for some tennis panties and a superman shirt. I started looking first for the Under Armor, pink for breast cancer superman shirts and a male sales representative said "Mam can I help you." Because I was really trying to look male today, I corrected him. Then he told me he saw my "long blond hair," under my ball cap and thought I was a girl. I explained to him that I was retired and felt free to wear my hair long. He then helped me find the right size. Ended up being a boys XL. Then I went over to the women's section looking for a short that would work well under my NIKE tennis dress. Looking at the clearance rack I also found a couple of unisex looking sport T's. I was just a bit concerned that I was now being read as a male. But the store was quite large and I had really only talked with a couple of the dozen or so sales reps that were there. As I was shopping the female store manager who was doing some restocking, asked me if I needed help. I said no, but after I had made my selections I asked her if she could help me into a dressing room. (Apparently my male voice did not turn the tide as she read me as female) Without batting an eye she took me directly to the woman's dressing room. This time I did not correct her as I went right in. This is when I had a really pleasant surprise. The room was full of women's sportswear right there for me to try on. (Capris and winter outerwear.) Whoever was in the room before me must have been close to my size as almost everything fit. I actually bought two of these outfits and I may post photos of me wearing them. I am sure after I left the sales staff may be having a chuckle as I expect they will trade notes and figure out I was a guy. Still this was a truly interesting adventure for me today. Dawn :)

​I really appreciate reading your blog, Dawn. congrats on your feminine beauty !!

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Dear Dawn,

Just wanted to comment that at age 60, sales staff and wait staff mostly call me "ma'am" but occasionally call me "miss."  Started being called "ma'am" in my early 20's. As I got older, "ma'am" gradually predominates. 

Am OK with either one, as long as it is spoken respectfully.

Your athletic bra reminds me of the "jog bras" I wore when they first came out when I was in college.

You asked if I saw your post. Read TGGuide a couple of times a week. As far as I know, I've read every one of your posts. Am sorry if I was late or missed reading one of your posts. Please let me know which you think I may have missed.

Your friend,

Monica

Edited by MonicaPz
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Monica you are the best and thanks for commenting as much as you do.  Seems like I always learn much from you.

Latest trip and gender mix up.  I was at a Ross Store in GA ready to check out, in guy mode, and the female teller said I can help you over here Miss.  I thought she was talking to someone else and then I realized I was the only one there.  I checked out and am quite sure she thought I was a woman.  Then the next day while eating at an IHOP with friends the waitress said to me what can I get you ma'am, because I was with friends I corrected her saying "sir."  She repeated "sir" but when she came back she presented me my breakfast and said ma'am can I get you anything else.  This time I did not correct her as actually I was a bit flattered and later I checked the mirror to try to see what she saw.  Could be my chest/breasts are showing more (Was wearing a bra but straps were almost impossible to detect), earrings, hair, wore unisex clothing - still in acceptable unisex look. 

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Dear Dawn,

In my opinion, people are responding to people's ENERGY, rather than their looks. This is why women disguised as men, and vice versa, rarely get away with it.

Your friend,

Monica

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Yesterday - twice identified as a woman.  Once called mamm by a lady needing help at a gas station while I was pumping gas.  The second was called a lady ("how are you ladies doing") by the waitress at a IHOP while getting dinner.  I did not correct them and I was wearing all women's sportswear, legs tan and shaved, earings, my women's styled glasses.  Actually everything I had on was what I would consider unisexual clothing.  I really think my face and ponytail are the reasons I was coded female but this time I did not correct them so I could ask what they saw that made me appear as s woman to them.  Actually enjoyed being treated as a woman. Dawn

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Just two days ago I was eating breakfast at Panera and was called to pick up my/our order "Mam here is your order" and moments later a second employee said "how are you ladies doing."  My wife was with me and made the second employee see that I was her husband.  This second employee seemed a bit embarrassed and then went on to explain the confusion; said it was my beautiful blond curly hair and my hat/head visor. My wife asked was it my two earrings and this lady said "no." Then see looked at my eyes, said they were beautiful and asked "if they were really mine" = really - then she told me I was "gorgeous."  Wow it was almost too much to take in.  Almost too much feminine attention for me in one day - Dawn

Dawn 5.jpg

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Today I was called "she and her " twice.  I was at a Rural King getting birdfeed and the teller first after looking me over asked if I needed help unloading.  I told her that I could handle the heavy bags - because I was able to put them in the cart.  Then another teller came over and started to put the feed bags in my cart.  She said I " just wanted to help her." (Me)  Then I muttered something but did not mention I was a he.  She said again "I thought she needed help."  The other lady was heavy built with large arms and she must have seen my thin feminine looking arms and possibly that I was wearing a bra, I actually need one now, and she must have thought I really needed help handling the heavy bags.  Made my day!  Dawn

 

Just added one of my never posted shots from when I weighted about 138.  I hope to get back to that weight soon.

Dawn 2018 post.jpg

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Another great day of being mistaken occurred while I was on a trip driving to VA.  I really think most people now see me as female most of the time no matter what I am wearing.  I went into a restroom at the road side stop.  Men's of course.  As I was washing my hands I saw through the mirror a young man come in,  He immediately paused as he was looking at my backside.  He turned and went out and looked at the door to determine if he was in the right bathroom.  He then came in and quickly went into a stall.  I know I had embarrassed him as he thought I was a girl. (I did have a pony tail and earrings on as well as girls/unisex sports wear and now I always wear a bra but for the most part it cannot be seen) I then quickly exited the rest room. Back to where no one would know I am not a girl.

Couple of photos of my growing hair below.

Hair 2.jpg

IMG_20170509_144036165_HDR.jpg

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