11/22/2014

Today I was 100% feeling female and thinking about it. It was distracting but since I didn't need to work or doing anything it was okay.

I talked to my wife about my appointment with the therapist and going to the support group and mentioned that she recommended that I go out dressed as much as I need to meet others like me and get the support that I need. I told her that if I cannot get on top of this soon, I will need to transition. This was upsetting, and I knew that it would be however I just wanted her to know how despirate of a situation this was for me.

I told her that I was still digesting the support group meeting. A lot was said and it was a bit much for me, attending for the first time. I am really thankful to have gone.

11/23/2014

This morning I was definitely feeling bad about my feelings of being female that I desired to be male. This used to happen to me a lot when I was younger, not so much now so it is surprising when it happens. It is this kind of self-loathing that I need to recognize for what it is. I need to acknowledge it but also not let it define me. I think that I did a good job. Later that day, I was better.

I hate not being to wear whatever I want to. But understand why.

--Lisa