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Bonnie

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Blog Comments posted by Bonnie

  1. Do not give up what you have until you are absolutely sure you are bettering your present situation.  Date but stay living separately.  I am sure you can have sleepovers at each others places.  That way you will get to know whether or not you can deal with the other persons idiosyncrasies.  I can't see the pet thing being worked around so make sure that is in your Profile if you are using a dating site.  I am not looking for a partner nor am I a so called moral person.  I am looking for sex and am having a lot of fun.  A few of my men have been long term and the others are occasional.  One man did ask me if we could be exclusive and I said no and why.  He accepted my reasons and comes to see me at least once a week.  It is working well for me.  I am going out more often now because I found a club where I could meet other transwomen so my translife is expanding even at my age.  I am being complimented by men, women and other transwomen for my appearance and my openness.  My sexual needs are being met and my social needs are also being met.  If by some chance I do meet the man for me then so be it but I am not looking for him nor do I actually think I will meet him.  I am living one day at a time.

    I have two other outlets that keep me going too.  I play a lot of hockey, as a guy, and afterwards there is beer and food so I am having a social life. I did come out to about 8 players of one group I play with so we do talk about it at times but not often.  The other outlet is a cyber world called Second Life (SL).  I go there most evenings and I started out as a pre-op transwoman but am now a woman for all intents and purposes.  I live a very happy life there and especially since I bought a better computer over a year ago.  It is a great place for those who live alone and can't get out much and you can create a beautiful young looking avatar.  Because of my lack of finances because I was married before I have worked as a stripper for most of my time in SL.  The money I made, in their currency, allowed me to buy clothes and a rent a place to live.  I am now a DJ at the club I was a stripper at.  Drama still occurs there because people are still people.

    I state all this just to tell you how I have been coping with living alone.  It is not for most but maybe you can find something I do or think helpful.

    Bonnie

    PS   When I say I am not a moral person it is because many of the men are married.  To me that is not my issue it is the men's.  I did not go looking for them they found me.

     

     

    • Like 2
  2. The only thing I can see Gold Star status means is beauty on the outside and everyone is envious of it no matter your gender. However, what is most important is how one feels on the inside and how one treats those around them. Yes, I am envious of those gorgeous transsexuals and I had an opportunity to observe some of them for an evening not too long ago. I was at a club and was the only "crossdresser" there amongst quite a few TS sex workers and many men. One man came to sit with me and we talked. He wondered why I wasn't going around talking to the men and I said that if anyone wanted to talk to me they were free to come over I won't bite. He laughed. He told me that the last time he was at the club he had lightly touched one of the T-Girls on the shoulder and she got quite upset. He said because the music was loud he had just wanted to say something to her and didn't mean anything by the touch. I said I am not bothered by people touching me and everything is all about the intentions and where one is. I then turned to see one of the girls lifting up her t-shirt to show off your beautiful breasts and commented that it would be expensive for anyone to touch them. It was all about money. Not the way I would like to live. The guy who was talking to me flirted with me throughout the evening and we both were having a nice time so I took him back with me to my room. My point being, I most likely had a better time that evening than any of those Gold Star girls and I am sure the guy did too because of how I treated him.

    It doesn't matter where on the cube or spectrum or whatever you want to call it you are it is about how you feel and what are your circumstances and a lot of factors. Do what you can to be happy at that particular time and don't lament too much on what others have or what you don't have.

    Bonnie

  3. I have always questioned the gender of God. She makes more sense but then hermaphodite makes even more sense. Something to think about.

    Pacifism is an ideal that is good but not practical. I will do whatever I can to resolve disputes without aggression but there comes a point when you must fight to defend yourself and those you care for.

    "The Magic"; "The Force"; "The Universe"; etc., yes, there is something out there that we can draw from. That is where prayer or whatever you want to call it has some effect and in large numbers it has even more of an effect, thus the creation of religions.

    Bonnie

  4. I wouldn't take it so hard, Michael. Love is all that really matters and I am sure your brother loves you and so does your mother. We can't be everything to them that they expect us to be. I am not everything I expected myself to be. When it comes to transsexuality it is difficult enough to explain it to someone who really wants to understand let alone explain it to people in general.

    A former highschool girlfriend I am now getting reacquainted with on a friendship level is being very supportive of my transgenderism and is trying to learn all she can about it. She bought me the movie, Transamerica, which I had already seen but she hadn't and so we are in the middle of watching it. Meaning, I talked so much through it pausing every few minutes to explain things that we ran out of time and so she will come again to watch the rest of it. The reason I am bringing this up is because there is a part in it where Bree is sitting in a restaurant and a young girl asks her if she is a boy or a girl. That freaks Bree out. The comparative part comes later when Bree and her son are at the house of an mtf friend who is having a TG party. Bree comments about how one women is so not passable. Her friend tells her she is a GG from Mary Kay. The point being, we all do it. The important part is what we do with that information, acceptance or non-acceptance.

    When someone asks a question or makes a statement about someone who is transgender or transgenderism in general we should try to answer the question without judgement. Being able to talk about it is a really big thing. It is more important than we may think. I am elated when I can talk to someone about it.

    I wouldn't be upset with your brother. He felt free enough to talk to you about it in the first place. Correct his thinking, discuss things if need be but leave the door open for more questions or comments so that you can continue to educate him. If you close that door out of anger or disappointment he will stop talking to you about it.

    I hope this helps.

    hugs,

    Bonnie

    • Like 1
  5. Happy Birthday Caroline!

    I am approaching 60, 2 more years. I haven't really accomplished anything that is noteworthy to the world but I do have two beautiful children that depended on me and my wife while they were growing up. My wife and I, together raised them well. I am now living on my own and have closed the book on the expected future of being a grandparent along with my wife. I don't know what my role will be now. But the main thing is that I was there for them when it was most important. You have children and I am sure they are your joy.

    Bonnie

  6. That has happened to me too in both situations. Even when I was much younger and in male appearance hitchhiking. Men would pick me up and within a short time I could tell that they wanted to have sex with me. They of course didn't know my sexuality and would be hesitant about asking. Most finally did but I didn't help them get there. And those who were afraid to just dropped me off and left never knowing. When I got much older and I could tell a guy was having trouble approaching and saying anything I would help out and make eye contact and smile and eventually say hi if he got close enough. It also depends on what you would want to do if he did say something. If the answer is nothing, then no point in helping him out. If the answer is to go further then you say something if he is too shy to.

    Bonnie

  7. Hi Tiffany!

    I don't have much time before I go to bed so all I can say for now is that there is never a right time or good time to do what you need to do. There will always be events coming up and life moves on around you. Your job situation seems to be a big issue right now. Take care of that as a priority. Keep your doctor's appointment of course and then see what's next to do.

    Bonnie

  8. My life's struggle besides keeping my transgenderism secret was trying to make it to the NHL as a goaltender. I played with guys who did make it and I got as far as University hockey here in Canada. I had often wondered what I was going to do about being transgendered if I did make it. I decided to try and make it first then deal with my issue afterwards. As it turned out I didn't have to deal with it.

    I thought I read about someone in one of the TGG forums (News probably) who made it as a muscian and then transitioned. She had to struggle to try to get back to where she was as a male musician.

    I would look into these types of examples first before making a decision you may regret later.

    Bonnie

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