Dawn13

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Everything posted by Dawn13

  1. Dawn13 added a post in a topic TIME: "Being Transgender Is Not a Mental Disorder: Study"   

    Thanks for posting this item.
    So difficult to sort out the feelings versus the male body I have underneath.  Three days ago, I just was talking to one of my best girl friends when we were at a running expo - she was part of a staff selling running skirts when I stopped at her booth.  "I told her it was so unfair." (That men - feminine looking men like me - are ostracized when openly wanting to wear a cute stylish shirt in a race or run).  She showed me a new product that they finally have developed. A collet short for men made of the same fabric as the shirt/s and almost a skirt in form.  I bought one of these with a matching unisex headband.  She actually got the same matching skirt so at some point we hope to get a picture of us both together wearing our matching outfits.
    The real point is even though I go to counseling about my being transgender - there is definitely something inside of me that goes beyond my desire to be a straight male in thought and body.  Over time I have actually become more feminine in looks to better accommodate my feelings; I now have very long hair, two earrings I wear all of the time, a weight closer to the average woman allowing me to wear junior's shorts and tops; some new breast tissue to the point I now can and actually need to wear my new sports bras.  Still I go out primarily as a male as I did in a recent running race. I remember at the race a girl runner actually saying as she walked by in a hearable voice to another runner.  Isn't that a woman (Looking at me).  Other guy friend said - no its a man.
    I am now happier in my own skin.  My therapist told me it is OK to wear unisex items and girls items, shorts/tops, that are kind of unisex.  She did tell me that I should not wear a skirt because of what it appears to do to my mind.  But again - this is really who I am, a girl, in my mind.  Dawn
     
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  2. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Hello Lexi - Great! Item!  I like the going more feminine part without trying.  Dawn
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  3. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Reposted from "Being Transgender not a Mental Disorder"
    So difficult to sort out the feelings versus the male body I have underneath.  Three days ago, I just was talking to one of my best girl friends when we were at a running expo - she was part of a staff selling running skirts when I stopped at her booth.  "I told her it was so unfair." (That men - feminine looking men like me - are ostracized when openly wanting to wear a cute stylish shirt in a race or run).  She showed me a new product that they finally have developed. A collet short for men made of the same fabric as the shirt/s and almost a skirt in form.  I bought one of these with a matching unisex headband.  She actually got the same matching skirt so at some point we hope to get a picture of us both together wearing our matching outfits.
    The real point is even though I go to counceling about my being transgender - there is definitely something inside of me that goes beyond my desire to be a straight male in thought and body.  Over time I have actually become more feminine in looks to better accommodate my feelings; I now have very long hair, two earrings I wear all of the time, a weight closer to that of a women allowing me to wear junior's shorts and tops; some new breast tissue to the point I now can and actually need to wear my new sports bras.  Still I go out primarily as a male as I did in a recent running race. I remember at the race a girl runner actually saying as she walked by in a hearable voice to another runner.  Isn't that a woman (Looking at me).  Other guy friend said - no its a man.
    I am now happier in my own skin.  My therapist told me it is OK to wear unisex items and girls items, shorts/tops, that are kind of unisex.  She did tell me that I should not wear a skirt because of what it appears to do to my mind.  But again - this is really who I am, a girl, in my mind.  Dawn
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  4. Dawn13 added a post in a topic How To Pick The Right Size Bra   

    Thanks Monica and my friends,
    My wife commented yesterday when I was wearing one of my normal men's running tops that my breast profile (Side view) was the most noticeable.  I am sure I am still smaller than a B but now I am aware that I am showing.  I did some additional research and found a site specializing in men with breasts.  They suggested either binding them or getting a sports bra.  I do have several bras already but they are for me in girl mode.  The site suggested sports bras included Champion, fruit of the loom and under armor.  The goal is to minimize the bra showing, bra showing characteristics, straps, color showing; while under a shirt.  Another one mentioned for comfort alone was Moving Comfort.  I think my aging has made my hormones change and my natural ability to produce estrogen has caused this change.  I have always had lots of female characteristics and I now have natural breast tissue that is hard to hide.  The more I think about it I do not want to hide it.  I am actually proud that I my breasts are budding.  Dawn
    Added - Just tonight my wife found me a Danskin sport top with built in bra.  (Purchased from a thrift store) I tried it on and it gave me good support.  The bra insert portion is minimally noticeable.  Then tonight was the real test as I went with her to dinner and wore it as my undershirt - no jiggling but it did lift my breasts a bit and it also felt really comfortable (Made them look more like Pecs).  It was actually nice feeling, as my nipples had been irritated/sore a lot lately with some of the shirts I had been wearing.  I will likely be getting a few more sports bras soon.  I actually have small breasts now and my wife agrees I need some support.
     

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  5. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Three times today I had people open the door for me.  Anyone having the same experiences lately?   Dawn

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  6. Dawn13 added a post in a topic How To Pick The Right Size Bra   

    For the first time I am considering going to a bra fitting.  Two days ago my wife was looking at me and said my chest was "enormous,"  Se said must be the swimming I do.  She wanted to see how hard I could make my pecks.  When I tried to tighten my chest the pecks hardly moved.  Rather what I had was quite a bit of breast tissue.  As she touched my softness she said "man boobs"  You may need to look into a bra.  I have been noticing breast growth in the last two years.  Any ideas of a good bra to try?  Dawn
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  7. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    What a fun day today - new Goodwill store opened and I looked for American Eagle shorts and jeans and a sport top - I found several that fit; size 10 and 8's.  I was dressed in my male clothes with a ball hat on.  My longer pony tail evident as well as my earring's.  One of the shoppers said to me "Mam do you know which tags are the discounts."  Concerned about my voice I hesitated then I told her "the red ones."  I did not try to correct her to my gender as I was in the women's section trying on women items and actually blending in.  Still I was concerned that my voice was telling - still was fun - not even going out-of-my-way to look feminine and still being coded as a woman. 
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  8. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    A shop clerk told me she really like my necklace today.  I was dressed in girls jeans and a nice sport top. Not sure if she was coding me as female - but was thinking this when she talked to me.  I had just got back from a beauty salon and had my hair colored, long styled shoulder length haircut and had my brows waxed.  Here are a couple of shots of my hair.
    Adding my latest here - was at Red Lobster two days ago and the store manager asked "Ladies how was our service." (Just me and my wife).  My wife said it must be the glasses and hair as I was dressed in boy mode. Then just yesterday I was going through a security point and the guard first said "sir" as I went through and then corrected himself and said "sorry I meant to say mam."
     



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  9. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    My latest Florida Adventure - Just last week I was at a swim meet in FL and when I entered the pool area, with pack on my back and bag in hand one of the regular members of the pool said to me "Mam the women's changing area is around the corner."  during the period of the swim meet I was referred to as mam several times and at one restaurant the door was opened for me as the owner said "welcome in Ladies" for me and my wife.  Also when I was at the meet I was actually able to notice how much bigger my chest appeared compared to some of the women there.  Definitely could see how I was getting mixed up.  (And enjoying it)  Below are photos showing my hair - as long as I have worn it since I was in my teens.  Also. one of my jogging shots (Not wearing a single men's clothing item; but a very feminine running outfit).  Dawn





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  10. Dawn13 added a post in a topic Exercise regime?   

    I enjoy working out all of the time.  I swim a lot. Bike and run.  I did do weights twice weekly; haven't had time to do them much lately.  What I have noticed that even my firm arms do not seem to make much difference.  When I was close to my fittest body - I was very tan - and shaved: I was still mistaken as a girl almost all of the time, even in boy mode.  I guess I was not overly muscular but do look like an athletic girl.  I remember going to the gym lately and seeing some of the muscle gals there.  Several of them are much bigger than me, they lift heavy and do not care how big their muscles are.  I do like the trim look however and do not desire to have that kind of muscle.  So my advise is do what is good for your body - too much fitness can be damaging but the right amount is good for any body , male or female.
     
     
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  11. Dawn13 added a post in a topic How tall and what do you weight?   

    I weigh about 155 right now - 5' 7.5"  I have dieted down to 137 and feel best at 145.  Dawn 
    Added note - When I was down to the 130's I always had guys open the door for me.  Even some larger women did the same. Wow did this make me feel feminine.
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  12. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    May latest trip to Florida resulted in several occasions of me being mistaken for a girl - on three occasions I heard either a sales clerk or a waitress call me mam.  They almost always caught the mistake but the confusion was evident.  The most interesting occurrence and scary was while I was in a tourist store looking at sun visors.  I was wearing fairly short denim shorts, legs and arms were shaved and tan, and had my hair in a pony tail; other than that I was in fairly normal for me boy mode.  I noticed a handsome guy who was looking at me and was kind of following me around the store.  As I was trying to decide what visor was the best one, a pink, purple, white or blue one, he came over really close into my space and put his hand on my shoulder and started to assist me.  I also noticed he appeared to have a ....-on. First I thought he worked for the store.  He told me his choice for me would be the pink one.  As the conservation went along he asked me for some money. No pretext - I could tell he had been drinking.  At this point I became quite nervous and was worried me might try to rob me.  Summoning some courage, I told him I knew he had been drinking, and that I would not give him any money.  He then asked me if I could drive him home; he said I seemed like I would be a "really good girlfriend."  I knew then that he was hitting on me hoping to take me home with him.  He then proceeded to show me some large circular designer earrings that he thought would look good on me.  I was flattered but I had become really nervous at this time and was concerned that I might need help to get away.   He was fairly muscular and tall and I knew I was smaller and puny next to him so I was glad I was in a large store so I could get away from him.  Still after I had put some distance between him and me I did feel a rush.  Wow, he really thought I was a woman.  Dawn
     
    I am attaching my latest photo - Running as a girl in Florida


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  13. Dawn13 added a post in a topic Why Bother With "Passing"?   

    I think most of the time I dress unisex leaning towards girls clothing.  Which for me means finding items I feel comfortable in from the juniors department.  Many times I am in public wearing panties, girls; jeans, running shoes, watch. top, unisex styled glasses and girls jewelry.

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  14. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Today I was driving to the board of elections for election training.  I was in boy mode and had my hair in a pony tail.  I was not trying to look female at all and never during the entire five minute conservation did I try to disguise my voice. When I went into a parking structure near the meeting location to park and I asked the attendant if he knew if this was the right place to park for the election training.  He called me "mam" and said he was not aware of the class.  He then asked was I trying go to the meeting place for the "league of women voters."  he said he could direct me there.  I could tell now that he thought I was a woman.  He finally directed me to the right location after calling me "Mam" twice more and asked me again if I really was looking for a meeting with the league of woman voters.  When he gave me the directions he was really patronizing to me, asking me twice did I understand the directions.  (After I left I was thinking he thought I was a woman and in his mind did not expect me to be good with directions)
     
     

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  15. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Recently I went to my usual six month dental exam. I actually purposely dressed a bit more feminine for this exam. Had silky lace pink panties on - a aqua cap sleeve juniors shirt unisex shorts and sandles. My hair was as long as I have worn it - shoulder length. While I was sitting there my hygienist and I started talking about nutrition. She started telling me about muscle building foods and some hormone enhancing foods she had learned about and was taking.  While we were talking I could not help but notice that she appeared to have gained weight from when I had seen her six months prior. Her hair was now actually cut short; much shorter than mine. She actually looked like she was close to my size, which was quite a change, from her 100+ pound body that I had recalled. I also now noticed she was larger up top and wearing a very large dentist scrub. She told me she had just started to body build when I saw her for my last exam. She said she had started to lift weights three hours daily and said she was getting ready for a competition. I saw a picture of her and her bicepts were now hudge. It looked like she had gained up to 30 pounds of muscle. She said she was around 130 to 135 pounds and 8% body fat. Then I told her I was between 18 to 22% BF. It was at that point I started to wonder what she was thinking as she looked at my skinny scrawny feminine looking body on the chair. She then asked me what I weighted and when I told her, between 138 to 140, she jokingly said "I bet I can whip your ass." I responded "you are likely right", sensing she now had bigger and harder muscles than mine. I then said how can we do this? Arm wrestle? I actually was getting a bit embarrassed at this time knowing that my arms actually looked like girls arms. I then told her I hoped she did well in her competition. We hugged as I left and then I really felt her harder arm and chest muscles against my soft body. Though she did not mix me up thinking I was a girl - I still had the same feelings - suddenly next to her I felt feminine - A real gender bender.
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  16. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    I believe my brows are not over done.  Just well shaped.  Maybe you can see them better in the three photos I recently took from a day when I went running in a local park.Thanks for your complements.  Best to you both. 
     
     

     


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  17. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Thanks for the complement - just last night my wife commented on that I really do look like a woman these days, even without makeup.  She said my small body coupled with longer curly blond hair and my arched brows really made it difficult for people to see me as a male.  Actually she was a bit niffed at this as she thinks I rival her in looks.

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  18. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Great story.  Must have been some attraction going on when he started a conversation with a question. 
    Even when I was in similar situations where I am fully dressed, and I knew I was very passable, I also get nervous and concerned about my voice giving me away.  The neatest thing is when I am not dressed up female and still called mam - even my male sounding voice doesn't seem to make any difference, I am type cast as female.

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  19. Dawn13 added a blog entry in The Beauty Delima   

    Jenner and Beauty
    I Have been following all the Jenner news.  This has stirred some of my recent thinking.  What is the core of why we have our feelings and want so much to change.  I think there is a certain desire to see ourselves as beautiful.  Women express this better than almost all men.  When I put on a dress I feel changed.  When I see most other men I see most of them as lazy/unkempt, fat/heavy and scuzzy.  This is the excepted image of men.  I do not fit this image and I know I am stared at a lot by other men, usually in restrooms, who do not expect a beautiful looking man.  When I look beautiful (Handsome) day-to-day, I am often mistaken for a girl, even when in unisex or masculine clothing.  I usually do not go out of my way but I am well groomed, very tan, fit and now have longer styled blond hair.  I think some of why I wish I could change is rooted in the concept of beauty - and if men could also be beautiful in what is currently a woman's norm early in life - I think fewer would be unhappy with their body image and fewer would want to change.  Here is another thought.  I think is more acceptable to be changed completely into a woman than it is to dress and adorn ones self in a similar fashion.  Yes, I would love to wear a colorful attractive dress and show off my small waist and still not try to hide that I have a somewhat feminine looking male body.  However, I feel less anxiety when I go through the complete effort of hiding any maleness as I look completely like a woman.  Also, I actually feel safer in woman mode as I do not see myself as a homosexual; not wishing for men to lust for me in this fashion.
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  20. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Not sure if this fits here - It does show some my mistaken gender ID,
     I Have been following all the Jenner news.  This has stirred some of my recent thinking.  What is the core of why we have our feelings and want so much to change.  I think there is a certain desire to see ourselves as beautiful.  Women express this better than almost all men.  When I put on a dress I feel changed.  When I see other men I see most of them as lazy/unkempt, fat/heavy and scuzzy.  This is the excepted image of most men.  I do not fit this image and I know I am stared at a lot by other men, usually in restrooms, who do not expect a beautiful looking man.  When I look beautiful (Handsome) day-to-day, I am often mistaken for a girl, even when in unisex or masculine clothing.  I usually do not go out of my way but I am well groomed, very tan, fit and now have longer styled blond hair.  I think some of why I wish I could change is rooted in the concept of beauty - and if men could also be beautiful in what is currently a woman's norm early in life - I think fewer would be unhappy with their body image and fewer would want to change.  Here is another thought.  I think is more acceptable to be changed completely into a woman than it is to dress and adorn ones self in a similar fashion.  Yes, I would love to wear a colorful attractive dress and show off my small waist and still not try to hide that I have a somewhat feminine looking male body.  However, I feel less anxiety when I go through the complete effort of hiding any maleness as I look completely like a woman.  Also, I actually feel safer in woman mode as I do not see myself as a homosexual; not wishing for men to lust for me in this fashion.
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  21. Dawn13 added a post in a topic System Update 2015   

    ​Was out of town - Assuming the Galleries will be back soon - So far so good, still trying to find some of my items - I do like the new format
     
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  22. Dawn13 added a comment on a blog entry How many times have you been mistaken as a girl   

    Wow! Today. I was at Dicks Sporting Goods looking for some tennis panties and a superman shirt. I started looking first for the Under Armor, pink for breast cancer superman shirts and a male sales representative said "Mam can I help you." Because I was really trying to look male today, I corrected him. Then he told me he saw my "long blond hair," under my ball cap and thought I was a girl. I explained to him that I was retired and felt free to wear my hair long. He then helped me find the right size. Ended up being a boys XL. Then I went over to the women's section looking for a short that would work well under my NIKE tennis dress. Looking at the clearance rack I also found a couple of unisex looking sport T's. I was just a bit concerned that I was now being read as a male. But the store was quite large and I had really only talked with a couple of the dozen or so sales reps that were there. As I was shopping the female store manager who was doing some restocking, asked me if I needed help. I said no, but after I had made my selections I asked her if she could help me into a dressing room. (Apparently my male voice did not turn the tide as she read me as female) Without batting an eye she took me directly to the woman's dressing room. This time I did not correct her as I went right in. This is when I had a really pleasant surprise. The room was full of women's sportswear right there for me to try on. (Capris and winter outerwear.) Whoever was in the room before me must have been close to my size as almost everything fit. I actually bought two of these outfits and I may post photos of me wearing them. I am sure after I left the sales staff may be having a chuckle as I expect they will trade notes and figure out I was a guy. Still this was a truly interesting adventure for me today. Dawn :)
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  23. Dawn13 added a post in a topic clothing/shopping experiences   

    I have posted a portion of the photos of the outfits I found in the dressing room in our Galley. These were the items that had been in the dressing room before I went in. If you look, tell me if you think I made good decision? I was jazzed. Dawn


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  24. Dawn13 added a post in a topic Dreams - We are talking to ourselves   

    Here is another dream I had -
    19 July Dream about sleeping. My wife and I were in a group sleep clinic. Everyone there had to put some kind of Jell-O like mouth wash in their mouths. Mine was some king of green stuff that I finally washed out of my mouth. Then there were various sets of sleepwear on hangers and we could pick out the sleepwear we were wearing. My wfe had some kind of soft lounge wear sleepwear with long sleeves and long bottoms. I noticed I was wearing a white teddy and a white wrap around top. When I looked down at myself and I had breasts inside of my sleepwear. Then My wife and I looked at some of the beds and saw one that was a crib, we were going to sleep in the crib. Then the dream shifted to being on a train with many cars heading for a tunnel in the side of a mountain. It seemed like we were getting stuck behind many cars. All of a sudden I got very large and started to knock train cars (Like box cars and coal cars) into a valley below (We were on a train bridge). It was like the cars belonged to a toy train. Then I was flying over some place with green grass and some kind of place where there was a lot of equipment an supplies. On the way there were several people laying down in the grassy fields with mud over them (Mud baths) I think this was a continuation of the dream clinic. END of DREAM

    Please share a dream or two. Dawn :)
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  25. Dawn13 added a post in a topic True or Not - You’re Favorite Story   

    Stories of your life or dreams - We all have them - please share a few if you can afford the time. Dawn :)
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