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UsernameOptional

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Blog Comments posted by UsernameOptional

  1. "At first it were overwhelming, and I started out small. Something trivial at first, something that wont make a huge impact on the way I dressed. Yet.

    Boxers."

    Actually.. underwear was the about the last article of men's clothing that I bought.

    I had been wearing boy's/men's desert boots starting in junior high... though I'm wondering if cost might have had anything to do with it as back then it was very common for boys items to be much less expensive than those for girls.

    After high school, I started buying men's jeans when I discovered that not only did they fit me better, they didn't have to be cut off and hemmed - ALL women's jeans and slacks are apparently made for 6' tall customers. Except for one pair which I wore only 3 or 4 times and then ended up giving to my Mother, I haven't worn a pair of women's jeans since.

    I ended up in a job where dress was jeans (or work slacks), steel-toed boots and uniform shirts, ballcaps and jackets or coats. This just made things even easier for me, giving me an excuse to buy socks and t-shirts out of the men's department.

    Eventually, I started buying men's shirts, jackets, sweats, sneakers - you name it. I was pretty well dressed head-to-toe in men's outer wear before I finally bought any underwear.

    LOL... no one can see your skivvies, yet I was more scared to be caught in a pair of jockey shorts than to be seen fully outfitted in men's wear. I wished I had bought them sooner though, as I discovered that they were cooler, a million times more absorbent, and not itchy. They don't creep up places you don't want them, and of course - no flowers and butterflies and bows and crap.

    • Like 2
  2. When I joined TGG, I chose "male" because I didn't really like the idea of being trans. In some ways, I felt that by calling myself trans, I was admitting that I wasn't really a guy. I didn't like the idea of calling myself trans because I had been "living as a man" online for several years before I ever joined any transgender website. While I've sorta backed off that mindset some, I still would prefer to call myself male. Another reason I've never cared for the word "transgender," is because it is not my gender that is wrong, but my physical sex. I understand however, why there was the preference to move away from the word "transsexual."

    As for "other," well, as moderator, I've come to immediately suspect a member who chooses "other," as that is the choice made most often by spammers. I see that in a profile that looks otherwise "normal," my spidey senses start tingling... :lol:

    ___________________________________________

    I've enjoyed the images you've been including in your blog entries, and I especially appreciate the descriptions that you give us for those images.

    -Michael

    • Like 2
  3. I've washed mine by hand only a few times - I've never been into washing things by hand. On the few occasions I have washed my binder by hand, I did so only because I had no choice. I just toss mine in the washer. I did call Underworks one time to find out if it was safe to use OxiClean on the binder to remove stains, but they had never tested the product on the binders, so couldn't answer my question. I went ahead and tried it on an old binder, and it worked well. But I've not made it a habit.

    I've been using Axe body spray for about seven or eight years, but I use it more like a cologne than a deoderant spray. I just spray a quick shot on my upper arm right about at the shoulder after I put my binder on. That way, I'm not dragging my binder over the spray. I too wondered if the spray might damage the binder, and is why I began applying the spray after putting the binder on.

    -Mike

  4. I'm not sure what the "Torso Compression Tank" is, but I am familiar with Underworks (Manshape retailer?).

    It is my understanding that some compression tops have more to do with working out, or are designed for posture or back trouble. What many of us began using as "binders" were actually gynocomastic or post-surgical compression tops for men. Sports compression tanks are not meant for, and will not, suppress and/or conceal excess breast tissue.

    It appears that Underworks has overhauled their website, as now, there is not just a page to items they discovered many transmen were using, there is actually like a website now, f2mbinders.com - it is still Underworks. I have always ordered #997 Double Panel Compression Shirt, however, it appears that Underworks (f2mbinders) has changed some model numbers, as this number returns an item that I have never had before.

    You can find more information about Underworks and other sites and binders in the thread

    As for putting your binder in the dryer, unless something has changed in the last year or two, Underworks advises that the compression shirts not be put in the dryer, and you should also not use bleach or fabric softeners during washing. I do not know the reasons for these care instructions, but I have adhered to them religiously. I have one binder that is almost 10 years old - and I wear mine 365 days of the year.

    If your binder is too tight, you could possibly cause issues with circulation and breathing. It's best to order your shirts according to Underworks' sizing charts. You might also have to try different models.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  5. Nature is good... still gets you out more. I don't think you have to have all that great of a camera. If you have a cell phone...use the camera feature on that. Then later...if you begin to discover that you really like photography, you could buy an inexpensive camera. You'd be surprised that you don't need a high dollar camera to take good pix. All you really need is a steady hand, and a good eye for spotting a good subject.

    -Michael

  6. I also draw. My g/f thinks I do it to escape the real world - no doubt the reason you've gotten into RP. She can tell by how much drawing I'm doing when things are bothering me. I go on "benders," much like an alcoholic, drawing like a mad hatter - sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks.

    Drawing never hurt anyone though. Continue working on your outlets. It appears the drawing and writing are doing a good job of keeping you from self-harming.

    I also write, but very seldom. I am only just beginning to get into a little bloggin (not gender related). I did quite a bit of writing poetry between 2005 and 2006, but I haven't really done much since except for a few silly "quotes" which I add to my profile when they hit me... :lol:

    Perhaps you could consider adding photography to your outlets. It could help you with anxiety around people.

    -Michael

    • Like 2
  7. Sometimes the devil crawls up on my shoulder - Monica's advice is probably the advice you should consider going with. I think it sort chapped my rear reading this in light of the fact that you asked management if you would be able to use your chosen name...and he went to find an answer. Didn't you even ask if your name tag could reflect your chosen name?

    I think I pictured some almighty self-righteous gender cop taking it upon him-/herself to inform everyone of your "true" gender and "real" name, because, after all... that's who you are. <_<

    It was probably one of those days I rolled outta bed the wrong way... :lol:

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  8. I wonder... if you turn the tables on them, if they will change their tune. Seems like someone brought this up in the forums one time...but I doubt I would ever find the thread. Maybe in the future, when someone says (for example), "have you seen that box cutter?"

    If it was a woman that asked, you could answer (nicely), "no,sir, I haven't"

    If it was a man that asked, you could answer (nicely), "no, ma'am... sorry, I haven't."

    Perhaps after you respond enough to them with the "wrong" pronouns, they might get the picture.

    • Like 2
  9. Hello, Warren...and welcome.

    First, despite indicating that for sane reasons you would never take up that sharp knife and take care of problem areas yourself...imagining taking care of problem areas combined with depression and anxiety seems a little concerning to me. Just so you know, there is a forum on Mental Health and Crisis Intervention here at TGG. Some of the info and threads there may be helpful.

    Second, you don't say if your doctor gave a reason as to why it could be the end of the before you hear anything. Personally, I don't understand why she would not be able to provide you with information on where or how you could begin the path to transition sooner. You mentioned she's been kind. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I read that as she is simply tolerating your situation because she's a medical professional, and she'll get back to you when it's convenient.

    You should be able to google transgender support for your location. You could also check for transgender support groups on the home site as Monica mentioned above. You could also learn of therapist in your area experienced with gender issues at such gatherings.

    Additionally...you could check The Transitional Male for an extensive list of therapists.

    Might be time that you have to begin the process without waiting on your doctor.

    -Michael

  10. This is a step towards a positive experience.

    I've come to the conclusion that no matter what kind of rules a company has, sometimes it all boils down to which location you find yourself at. Another store might not have bothered to look into the matter, and simply shoved their own biases down your throat.

    Good luck.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  11. "It came as a shock to me the amount of things people don’t realize about someone else’s lifestyle. My mom assumed that since I’m now a man I don’t care what I look like as long as I look like a man. She’s wrong. She thought because I’m a man I’d want to go out and ride dirt bikes instead of decorate cakes. She’s wrong."

    This reminded me of shortly after coming out to my mum, she lamented that now she had no one to whom to pass down her things, because men wouldn't want those things.

    I guess it never occurred to her that most any child will treasure nearly anything a parent leaves to them simply because it was something that belonged to their parent - male or female quite often doesn't matter. Of course I don't want her favourite big floppy Red Hat Society hat, or her entire collection of stuffed bears...but a figurine that she treasured, or some special dish, maybe one tiny bear... why wouldn't a guy wanna keep something like that just to say, "this was my momma's?"

    I didn't say anything. I just left it at that. I think way too many people are under the mistaken impression that most men do not hold dear the belongings of loved ones.

    • Like 3
  12. I know this is easier said than done...but to not go back could be exactly what some of them want. But I can surely understand not wanting to be where you're not wanted.

    I think you need to see if you and the other guy you mentioned in one of your posts (I think the one that doesn't attend those G/S Alliance meetings) can become good friends. At least you'd have each other to back each other. Maybe in time... others will seek you out. Intersex. Androgynous. Outlaws. Etc. They gotta be there, and if you all came together...it could be the beginning of a new and better group. Of course, some just might not want the exposure. One of the reasons is most likely exactly what you are experiencing right now.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  13. It's great that your parents are supportive. Try not to alienate that with those "fits of dysphoria." There are many [trans]people who would willingly give their eye teeth for the support and acceptance of their parent(s).

    It's especially cool that your dad is supportive. Being fairly young, a father will come in handy for learning all the things boys need to learn. ;) Or at least help you unlearn all the things the females around you have tried to force-feed ya for the past 18 years.

    -Michael

    • Like 2
  14. Thanks mrpauljames, and welcome to TGG.

    Sorry to hear that so many of your family dropped out of your life. I'm not sure what will happen with my mum...but I'm fairly sure I don't have to worry about my brother.

    I really wish my mum had expressed her resistance to my true self from day one...I've always been of the belief that it's better to have someone who at first could not accept a person being trans, and then come around and have a change of heart, than it is the other way around like what happened with my mother.

    I guess I've spent several years trying to prepare myself for losing my mother to her inability to accept me as her son. Most likely, that has just caused me a loss of time...as I'm sure there is no way to ever fully be braced for losing the love, acceptance and/or support of a parent.

    As for her love...I'm sure I'll always have that. But what good is love without acceptance.....

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  15. I don't think you are alone in feeling that the "L" and "G" part of the community (and especially the "L" part) are fairly closed-minded when it comes to the "T" part of the community. It's difficult to understand their attitude. It's like they conveniently forget that there are those higher up the food chain that don't exactly accept them either. And it has always been my belief that the "T" was only added as a token gesture, as I'm sure it's helped them far less than it's helped us. We have been little more than stepping stones for their advancement.

    ___________________________________

    "Bro Code Article #23." LOL... good code. I'd like to see it amended tho - "if a Bro skips past such programs, he should be "stoned" with any empty beer cans and chip bowls littering the room, and barred from future mancave gatherings for a minimum of 6 weeks. :lol:

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