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  1. "I have been called Sir and Maam all in the same day. Like they have to call me something. And rather then not assign me a label, they pick one."

    Yeah...annoying. I'm sure that people in any business dealing with the public address people as "sir" or "ma'am" to be polite and show respect. But sometimes it seems like some go too far. I say that because there have been a few times when it just felt like the individual was going to use "ma'am" as if by constantly saying it (and occasionally emphasizing it) that they could convince me that I am one, and it is their job to remind me of it. <_<

  2. Hello Forest...and Welcome.

    It's been a long time since I was a teen...but I remember how I felt. Especially when puberty hit. But no one knew about it. It was my secret that I was sure I could never tell anyone. Things are slowly improving though, and people are coming out at younger ages than people did just 20 or 30 years ago.

    If you haven't run across it already, you might wanna check out the pinned post "Being a Teen..." I guess I better check it out too - it's been quite a while since I wrote that. I need to check the links in that post...make sure everything is up-to-date.

    -Michael

  3. Earlier I spotted one of those little dots that indicates there is something new on a post. I got here, but there was nothing new. Then I noticed I was the last one to post to this particular blog...and could't remember why...:lol: Anyway... now that I'm here, something else occurred to me concerning the woman who officiated at Clair's and Jim's wedding --

    Remember, I had expressed how much it torqued me that the woman officiating, looked at Clair and said, "I now pronounce you husband," then looked at Jim and continued, "and wife." I indicated that I wondered how often something like that happens whether the couple is trans or not.

    What occurred to me today was that...this could possibly happen on occasion, but I find it difficult to believe that it does because if I'm not mistaken, brides and grooms stand in the same place all the time - the bride to the priest's right, the groom to the priest's left. Or, to make it simple, the bride is always on the grooms left.

    So that would make me think that simply out of habit, whoever is officiating would look to his/her right and name the bride, and look to his/her left and name the groom.

    Some of ya's probably don't like when a person continues to beat a dead horse, but after this came to mind...it just sorta convinced me that the woman who officiated at Clair's and Jim's wedding really wasn't all that tolerant or accepting.

    I could almost accpet the "error" had Clair been unlucky enough to not look so very feminine, or if Jim just looked like a lesbian in a tux...but that wasn't the case.

    Okay... I'm done. :lol:

    -Mikey

  4. Although I consider myself a woman, I don't have an attraction to men. I don't think that its required to be a woman. That doesn't mean things can't change or I wouldn't consider it, the attraction just isn't there right now. I don't know if that is something that usually changes as you transition, but I would like to hear other's thoughts and experiences on that subject.

    Here are a few links to discussions that may be of interest to you - if you haven't already seen them:

    .........

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    -Michael

  5. I sorta think that maybe this is comparable to the fact that more often than not, I am my true self in my dreams - I am male. Other times, it's like my gender doesn't exist or something...but even then it's like I am still treated by others in the dream as male. It's very rare that my dreams present me as female. It's been like that for so long, I really can't remember when I was always female in my dreams - or if that was ever the case.

    We have no control over our dreams...so I would think that if in my dreams I am male, it must be because that is the way I think of myself when I'm not asleep. As if it's... normal.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  6. Hi Karen -

    Might I suggest that you start a new topic in the either ther General Transgender Discussion, the MTF Transsexual Discussion, or the MTF Crossdress Discusson forums? The blogs are usually used for sharing story-like experiences and events. Or creating a kind of journal. Not everyone reads blogs as often as they do the forums.

    Your question is a good one - one that others no doubt have helpful tips for. Additionally, your question, subsequent answers, and discussion could help others.

    Just a suggestion.

    -Mike

  7. Being punished for having tried to commit suicide seemed to be par for the course back then - one of the two or three reasons I never actually carried out any of my plans because I couldn't convince myself that any of them were 110% fool-proof, and that I wouldn't live to be punished. That's what I seem to remember of the few kids I had heard of trying to commit suicide - that after they were bandaged up, and the dust settled, thier parents meted out the punishment. I didn't want the same.

    Pretty sad that no one seemed to be concerned why a kid wanted to, or tried to commit suicide. Just seems like they were hell-bent on keeping ya from doing it.

    -Michael

  8. There is a good deal of concern for all on a TG/TS site whether they are trans or cis. Sometimes, I wonder who's really the braver, us or cis-people like you (and a few others here) who befriend us.

    As for the individual that sent the PMs out...I seriously doubt s/he considered or even cared who s/he PM'd. Some of them go thru the member's list and PM people who've been inactive - I've never understood the purpose in that. About the only good such PM's have done as far as I know was to cause long inactive members to drop in.

    Some of these spammers target active people...most likely because they figure their spam is sure to be received, and in turn the chances their crap will be read.

    Then of course, there are some that simply lump us in with all the adult/porn sites out there - we are compared to and considered no different than those in the sex trade. Therefore, again...no reason to consider whether a person is male, female, trans, cis, gay, or anything else.

    Thanks for understanding, Del. PM any one of us anytime there is a problem.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  9. Del -

    I believe the email that you are talking about was from a spammer. Actually, I think you are referring to a TGG email generated based on your settings here on the forums that notifies you that there is a new PM waiting for you here on the forums.

    That individual sent out many PM's. It was a spammer, and we did receive several complaints notifying us of the activity. That individual's account has been deleted, and the IP has been banned.

    On behalf of Lori (Admin and owner of TGG) and all of us moderators, I apologize that you received that PM. Such incidents are disruptive to the community and usually results in making the organization that was used to disseminate that kind of thing, bad.

    We ask that members always contact Admin or any one of the moderators when they receive these kinds of PMs so that we can take care of the problem as soon as possible. I hope, however, that you understand no website is 100% free of spammers, scammers, and other unscrupulous people. We do actively attempt to keep them at bay.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  10. "...my dad is helping me out in exchange for following a strict schedule of meeting their standards of womanhood for them."

    This has surely got to be better than having to live according to your birth sex. I wasn't expecting to see such an "ultimatum," and I dare say some might even be envious if they are currently dealing with a parent or parents who will not accept the true identity of thier child.

    Good luck on the job search...it's rough for many out-of-work people looking for jobs, though that knowledge is little consolation. Hopefully your dad's regime will help eliminate some of your stress so you concentrate on looking good for employers.

    -Michael

  11. Hi Brittany -

    When I saw a few days ago that you had created a blog entry, I just thought that it was "nice to see you." I knew you hadn't been here on the forums in quite a while. But then I read your blog today.

    I wish I had advice for you. I can certainly see the frustration and desperation in your blog. I hope someone can offer their experiences. I know it won't help you get a job...or keep your HRT from running out...but maybe you can start coming here again every so often. Coming here helps me. Maybe it can help you a little.

    -Michael

    • Like 2
  12. Wow!! When I first read this a few days ago, I thought to myself, I wonder how many comments this blog is going to get? I was expecting you to get shredded by the women every which way but loose.

    You see, when I first read it, I thought you were one of those "reformed" transpeople. I thought you were a male-bodied individual who, while sitting in jail with time to reflect, found some religion, and got out "realizing" that you are not a woman, never were a woman, can never be a woman, and that you were a man just as "god had made you." I was wondering if we had yet another come here to preach about the evils of believing oneself is of another gender.

    Then I saw today's entry listed on the index page. Mind you, I don't read too many blogs. But seeing this latest entry was of interest only because of the previous blog (and maybe the morbid desire to see the women set your @$$ on fire... :lol:). So I clikked the link to see what was in the new blog, and in the middle of reading the first line, "although I won't be starting testosterone therapy until..." I was like... WTF?! And I came back to this blog. And I read it again. Twice. :lol:

    Granted, I didn't really understand what was going on with "Dan" and "Daniel" a few days ago. But I think I do now. After seeing today's blog...I now see that you are a brother transman, and that the "Dan/Daniel" thing was all about growth, and coming to terms.

    Whew... :lol:

    -Michael

    P.S. Now I also understand your shout-out made 31 Mar, "I saw the Dr. Oz show. It's heartening to know that what transgender people experience is being broadcast on network TV for everyone to view." I originally was confused by this, wondering why you thought this to be a good thing if you were a "reformed transperson."

  13. I know the feeling also. I've learned to create my posts in a notepad or wordpad. Though I don't save my work occasionally...I know I should.

    Creating my posts in note- or wordpads was a habit I developted back in the days when dial-up connections were the norm. And of course, so was getting disconnected, or as we used to call it... getting "booted."

    I hope you didn't "lose your religion." :lol: When something really angers my mum, she will blurt out, "it was enough to make me lose my religion!"

    -Mike

  14. Thanks, ladies. All of you always seems to be able to put things in perspective. Your responses, and a little time... have allowed me to sit back and think more clearly.

    I guess deep down, I know my brother means no harm. I think it just took me by surprise 'cause he and I talk just like any two guys, brothers...about many things - including women.

    If I look at this logically...I have to believe he is accepting of me being TS, and has no issues with others who might be, or are, TS. I just never imagined he would try to justify using the wrong pronouns concerning someone who might have been TS.

    So far, besides the "he ain't heavy, he's my sibling" (:lol:), the only thing he's asked is if it's okay to continue calling me by the "shortened" version of my nickname...more acceptable (in my mind, and apparently his too) as a name for a guy. I've never had a problem with this as I realize to just up and change the name he's always known me by could be just as difficult as having to change pronouns.

    I know he accepts therealme, as when I arrived on my recent visit, he asked a favour of me (concerning bathroom habits) that he would not have had to ask of a female visitor.

    So yeah, I guess it's okay. But no matter what he calls me, I would like for him to understand why he should be respectful of how a person identifies, and react accordingly.

    -Michael

    • Like 1
  15. Though in slightly different ways, transmen have to deal with public bathroom issues also.

    For guys like me who don't look all that feminine to begin with, there are often stares of disgust or disdain (not sure which) from women when I walk into a public bathroom. Occasionally, I will even startle a few. And there have even been a few situations where a woman entering the bathroom has turned and quickly exited after seeing me, thinking she was in the wrong bathroom.

    Unfortunately...though I might not be immediately perceived as female at first glance, I don't look male enough to go into the men's bathroom with totol confidence. And while transwomen might be at risk in some places in a men's room, I sorta think there would be more of an air of shock or disbelief if men noticed a transman (that isn't quite passing yet) in the men's room. I sorta get the impression that it is women who "raise an alarm," so-to-speak, when they encounter someone they believe to be of the wrong gender in their little corner of the world. But even if I didn't cause a stir in a men's room, I don't wanna be in that kinda spotlight - the women's room is bad enough.

    Because of the bathroom woes, I will go to the bathroom before going someplace...even if I have to stand there a few minutes and force a solitary drop out...just to keep from having to end up going somewhere in public. When I do find I have to go while I'm out somewhere, I will try to find a reason to go into a convenience store if one is near-by - they often have single seaters. I also scope out the locations of bathrooms as some places actually have single unisex/handicap bathrooms in addition to larger multi-stall facilities.

    Yeah...it's a pain - sometimes literally! It would be nice if we didn't have to fret so about where to go when we gotta go...whether male or female.

    -Mike

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