The hardest thing seems to be getting people to accept that gender is not the outside but the inside. I find other lesbians are suspicious or only marginally accepting of us a lesbian couple. I was married to a man for 13 years and so I've had trouble finding "credibility" as well, and usually just identify myself as "queer" because it's easier. I never saw my wife as anything other than female though her family is not accepting of it and mine has no clue. I am really glad to see the article's author was so open-minded and accepting of her trans dates. It feels like transmen and transwomen who are gay/lesbian have even more hurdles to cross: acceptance as their gender expression among the public, and acceptance as gays or lesbians within those communities.
I'm a mostly-closeted lesbian (not out to family or totally out within my community) married (second marriage) married to a wonderful, loving MTF who still mostly presents publicly as male (but not all the time). I'm not really ready to introduce myself in the general forums yet, but wanted to say hello here as a spouse. I will continue to read the forums and hope to contribute to the conversations!